My situation is somewhat unique...my boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and lived together. The unique part is that he has 2 sons (14 and 11) and just finalized his divorce in October. We've been fighting a lot...I felt like he wasn't giving me enough attention and he felt that I was controlling and never really bonded with his sons or developed a relationship with them. He said he wants more of a family atmosphere. I feel like I tried but the kids are at a tough age to bond with. He told me flat out that he doesn't want to be with me and said he shouldn't date at all right now because he has to focus on his sons. He said if he does date again it will be with someone who can act like a mother figure for his children (even though they have a mother that is very involved in their lives). He also said I'm young and deserve someone who can give me attention and I can start a family with (I'm 33 and he's 40). What do you think? Any hope or should I just get over it? I really want to be with him and have our family back.
Most Helpful Girl
Do not wait around, he's been quite clear. And I mean this in the most gentle way possible- there was no family it sounds like, no family to want back.
It IS hard dating someone with kids, and his divorce is only recently finalized. Not a good sign.
But you should not allow yourself to be hurt by his comment- date someone that can act like a mother figure. That is not to say you weren't good at this.
He is speaking LOUD and clear to you, plain as day, can't get more clear than what he has said.
I know it hurts but you must put this behind you. It isn't you, it's the whole situation, and him only just now getting his divorce finalized in the past several months is a big red flag. He even told you now he is not ready, do not force something that cannot be. That's what I did and stuck it out with my own ex husband far too long.1