Can you be dumped for being too nice?

I was 'seeing' this girl who had relatively recently come out of a really abusive relationship that ended up with her arm getting broken when her husband forced a door shut on her arm and pushed his feet against it. I treated her the way a girl should be and her kids with the same respect I give my own. I was so good with the kids she broke down one night and sobbed asking me to stop being so nice. Then I got dumped less than a week later.

Was this guilt because she was using me?

Or fear of it all going wrong again?
Updates:
What she meant by too nice is that she left the refuge with nothing except the clothes on her back. I bought the oldest a school uniform. I am not wealthy, but couldn't see any child go without just cos her dad is useless and I love her mum to bits!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The first thing that comes to my mind is : you're too nice with her kids and you forget it is about her. And, she might feel like you thing she's a fragile little thing that need to be protected. She might need to feel that she is a strong woman...but I'm just assuming here

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    • Its hard when the 3 youngest ones run into your arms the minute you turn up lol

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    • Oh yes.. the kind of thing I did with the kids was to plan a mothers day surprise for their mum, shed not had a decent one for years. The kids felt as though they had done something for mum and mum felt special.

    • You really are a nice man. Honestly, this previous relationship must have messed her up.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She is feeling insecure right now after recently coming out of an abusive relationship. She may find it hard to trust someone until she is emotionally healed. If you really like her then try to get one of her close friends to get her emotional help because she may not let you in for now.

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  • It's hard to tell. I don't have enough information to make a conclusion.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'm not surprised she loves being beat. I wouldn't feel sorry for her stupid ass. I have no sympathy for women or girls like her.

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    • Lets hope next time her husband breaks her arms off and beats her over the head with it.

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    • She hasn't gone back to him not at all

    • But you said you got dumped? She'll go back to him because he'll say how sorry he is and she'll believe him.

  • Yes. Yes you can as a male. Really Nice guys finish last. The secret is to be nice in your actions, and truthful in your speech. Regardless of how rude you come across.

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  • She sounds messed up in the head. You need a legit nice girl.

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  • Neither. Fear of change.

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  • Guy breaks a girls arm? Girl treats him like royalty.

    Guy is a family man, sweet, caring? Girl leaves him for another emotionally and physically abusive male.

    Common theme for women.

    All men learn that nothing good comes out of treating a woman good.

    Drama and conflict gets their juices going.

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    • I think the woman feels she doesn't deserve someone so nice. I don't know of course. I don't think people should apply that to all women though.

    • Most women find guys who treat them well to be bland, boring, and unexciting.

      They tend to gravitate towards men who reject them, those who show little interest, and appreciate more from men who give less.

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