How many of you would forgive and take back a cheater? Please also explain why.

What steps does a person need to take in order for them to win you back?
  • Yes
    Vote A
  • NO
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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118

Most Helpful Guy

  • Likely not, and there is nothing they can do.

    You can't get back trust the same way once it's gone, and that's very important to me.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I've stayed with a horrendous cheater (cheated over 24 years). Forgiven, trying. Forget, no, never will. He came clean one year, even though I've known for years prior to his "confession". A few of the girls told me. Why'd I stay? Because I wanted to. Not because I had to or felt like I needed to because of anything else; I just did. And not because the old saying "ooooo because I loved him..." big fucking deal. I stayed because clearly, I wanted to. To piss my parents off and my ex - they all told me "he's a loser.. he'll end up hurting you...blah blah blah"

    There isn't a "win you back" answer to this. It's about Trust. If you can't give trust, you won't get it. That's where the healing begins - those sites that claim to help you through cheating, are all full of shit. It's about honesty, transparency, trust ; you're life, not theirs.

    A one time cheater is easier to get past than one that does it for decades. And while you're getting past all the lies, hurt.. distrust, keep in mind; it's not about you, it's not about sex.. it's a way they were brought up/raised and it's about the conquest.

    When he first confessed, took me 4 years to trust him again; and there are still rough triggers. Until he confessed though, I acted as if nothing was going on.. easier to believe a lie, then it is the truth.

    Now he's grown up and doesn't do that shit anymore. He knows I'll do a Bobbitt on his ass.

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    • *your *sigh*

    • oh man, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know the feeling since it has happened to me recently. I've learned that it really isn't about the person being cheated on; its about the person who cheated. Maybe they needed an ego-boost or felt insecure and they just wanted to make themselves feel better. Also, just like you said, "the way they were raised or brought up" if they saw their father cheating or felt that it was normal, that person might not think it's a big deal. whilst the other person, who grew up thinking cheating is the biggest deal ever.

    • Thanks, I live through daily triggers, I get through it; it's not my first go around... and I'm sorry that happened to you, it's a membership to a club that will never happen to expire.

      Just something to keep in mind though, females cheat for completely different reasons than guys do. If you let the anger eat you up inside, it will turn you to stone. Find ways to get past the triggers and memories of it and don't let mind movies take you over. Those will kill your spirit faster than anything else.

  • Nope. I wouldn't be able to trust that person again. I would be unhappy if I couldn't trust someone, so why stay?

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  • Eh, a person might be hurt in the aftermath and give it a shot, but truth be told, it wouldn't last because trust was broken so no I would not take a cheater back.

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  • No because they're is someone out there who would be faithful so why stay with someone who isn't

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  • I wouldn't forgive that kind of things.
    So I Would just break our relations.

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  • I wouldn't be able to trust again not sure if they would able to gain trust again.

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  • My answer is it depends.

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  • Never, cheaters disgust me.

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  • noooooooo
    vote b

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  • I don't see myself ever taking back someone who cheated on me.
    I can't trust them, and if I can't trust them, the relationship will NEVER be right again. I can't be with someone I don't trust, I just can't.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I have in the past forgiven and taken back cheaters and it always nipped me in the butt. Either I couldn't truly forgive and forget OR they broke their promise. So going forward I probably will not forgive and take back a person who cheats

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    • Yeah, I don't think a person can change. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

    • If i ever took back a cheater, I feel the former (the lack of trust I would have in her) would be my issue.

    • I'm sure a person can change but I dont' want to be their beta test. so hopefully a cheater can change in their future relationships but I have a very tough time every being able to fully trust the person who cheated

  • If she's a hot shy Asian girl, and is VERY sincere, i would take her back after giving her a nice WABAAMMMM with my whip of AWESOMENESS!

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  • Never. Break the trust once by doing that, it's broken permanently.

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  • Not a chance.

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  • I never have.

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  • If someone cheats on me then I would not trust them again. I would just not feel comfortable being with someone who cheated on me because I will keep thinking about that which will won't make me feel good having her as a girlfriend or anything like that.

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  • I would break up with her on the spot, and there is nothing she could do to get me back.

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