If an ex is moving on it is wrong to write a letter to him for closure?

After 7 years of being together it is very hard for me to move on and we've been apart for several months now but I still feel as in love with him as I was 2yrs ago even though time has passed. He seems to be well and happy, there are some things I want to say to him that I know I can't in person. I've written a letter and it's from a positive happy place and it's beautiful, but I don't want to stir up any emotions with him and I did state this and i'm not asking to get back together with him, but I just want him to know how I feel and wishing him well. I don't know whether I should give it to him or not.


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  • I think I may have answered one of your questions before.

    In theory this is a great idea, and of course it is always great to make peace and forgive each other, so that you can both move on without that lingering feeling of hurt, guilt or shame. However...words of caution.

    I'll say from my own experience I actually did this with my ex, but as an email and I never received a reply. Either he just didn't care or he was too angry with me to reply and wanted me to suffer. It actually hurt even more when I sent the email and got no reply, because it showed he just didn't give a toss about me even though I too was still love with him.

    I think you need to think realistically whether or not he would reply. I don't want you to suffer any more and go through the waiting for him to reply.

    These are some of your options and results;

    1) You send the letter, he does reply and wants to make peace with you...great.
    2) You send the letter, he does reply, but its a cold and callous reply that may leave you feeling hurt and upset.
    3) You send the letter, he doesn't reply. You will bet hurt and upset for a while, but at least you can move on knowing you tried your best and that there is no going back.

    Can you handle any more hurt and pain?

    Don't keep blaming yourself. He clearly isn't worrying too much about it and is getting on with his life. Now its your turn. Be happy and realise that you DO deserve the best in life. Its natural to regret a break up in the beginning, but I strongly believe in everything happening for a reason and although you may not feel the benefits at the moment, you will do in the future.

    Focus on your dreams and ambitions. Cut men out of your life for a while.

    Make a list of all the things you would like to do with your life, comfort yourself and begin the healing process.

    Good luck :)

    • You're like my virtual guardian angel :) you helped me a lot with your advise. I completely understand what you mean and when I wrote it I wrote it with no expectations, I figured he wouldn't reply so I was prepared for that. I felt a lot better after I wrote it, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders so I think I'll just hold onto it and maybe burn it or something if I don't send it. But thank you so much for tour advice and positive words. I truly appreciate it! xx