I sort of cheated on my girlfriend. what do i do?

We were broken up for about a day and I was pissed off so I went out, got drunk and made out with a girl. I was the one who broke up with her but the next day I regretted all of it. She wants to get back together but she doesn't know I made out with a girl that night. I am still in love with her. Should I tell her I made out with a girl that night or get back with her? She would be devastated if she found out. We could just stay broken up without her ever knowing but I feel that wouldn't be doing her justice. I want to be with her but I don't know if I can after what I did. Should I let her go without telling her? She is kind of confused as to why we are broken up. This all happened after we broke up but I feel like if I tell her what happened she could have closure. It's also really embarrassing to admit...
Updates:
we have been together for two years so its a very serious relationship. I have no problem if i tell her and she doesn't want to get back together. But if I tell her and she wants to stay I know it will be different and i don't want that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • you were clearly uninterested in getting back together. that affected your decision to hook up with someone else at lightning speed after you broke up. if i were the girl, i would point blank ask a guy who i'd been broken up with or on a break with if he had been with anyone else. if he acts shady about it, then we're done. if it's not important to you to be with her, then why should she want to be with you. picture this: when you guys broke up, she was thinking about how she wanted you back and tried to get you back a day later. when you broke up, you went out and hooked up with someone new asap. who do you think cares more?

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    • after reading your update, you shouldn't be with her at all. you don't give a shit if she doesn't want to get back together and you don't want to deal with her hurt feelings because of what you did. why are you even bothering to ask this question then?

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    • that you know her and we don't is a given. you came online to ask for advice. i am listening. clearly you can't be with her anymore. your question was if you should tell her or not. my advice is that you should.

    • meant to say "said it 20 times". not "done." whoops

Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn't cheat, but it's possible that she could think that you just broke up with her so that you'd be free and clear to make out with this other girl. Either way, you should put your cards on the table. It's probably going to come out at some point anyway, because, even if they aren't friends, they might share a mutual friend and, with social media, you never know what could happen. It's better to be honest. She might act differently at first, but will probably let it go eventually. And, after she let's it go, you'll have earned honestly points (for lack of a better phrase) and she'll be more likely to be honest with you in the future (maybe not about a situation like this per se, but in any situation that someone would usually omit because it might make the other angry).

    In the end, you did what you did, and should face the consequences for your actions. (Again, not saying you cheated because you didn't. But there is a consequence, good or bad, to everything we do.) Man up.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • tell her. Explain the situation and don't think it isn't going to be hard because it will be. But if the relationship is strong enough it will be okay. Just make sure you are clear with the reasoning for everything. You don't want to leave questions in her head because it will honestly make it worse if she doesn't have the full story and is making assumptions

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  • Tell her. Honesty is everything in a relationship. If she forgives thats her choice. Face the music. All action has consequences one way or another. Good lesson here on controlling yourself better in the future

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  • You did nothing wrong. Relax.

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  • Y'all weren't together but if it's killing you, tell her and tell her how much you regret it but don't use alcohol as your excuse, most will go do something and blame alcohol too

    Though it does effect

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What Guys Said 4

  • What's more important? The possibility to stay together for a life time or the few minutes of your mistake that night? If it's the first one, then there's no need to tell her. We all have our secrets and those who tell me in my marriage counselling sessions that they are "completely honest" with their partners are lying the worst to themselves.

    Accept the fact that there are always secrets and since there was nothing really sexual I'd say, forget it.

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    • I agree, if it's not someone you're in love with or going to see again AND you didn't have sex with her, then don't tell her. Make life easy and don't hurt her by telling her about this.

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    • but if she made out with someone while we were broken up i think i would want her to tell me

    • Sure? Thinking about it, I wouldn't want to know. It wouldn't be possible for me anymore to see her the way I saw her before. You have to make this decision, I'm just saying that there's no need to tell and I say this with the background of years of counselling + a bunch of books (like: Cuyler/Ackhart (editor), Psychology of Relationships, Nova Science: 2008)

  • Do not tell her.. for one reason.. It will be used against you 3 years later when you forget to put cinnamon in fried chicken.. IF you feel guilty, do not be with her. Because if you DO tell her, things will change, the respect/ the love/ the bonding, will degrade.. Either you tell her and break up, or dont tell and stay.

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  • you didn't cheat on her but I would still tell her anyway just to be completely honest and not have it perhaps bite you in the butt later.

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  • Tell her. It is the MAN thing to do.

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