Does no contact rule really work? Please i really need help i just cry all the time.?

I broke up with my ex in the beginning of the year in February and we didn't speak for about 3 weeks, then he called me , we spoke and we decided to slowly go back together i wanted to be his girlfriend again but the said
he wasn't ready that i am the one who broke off and now he needs time to
invest on himself (he started going out with friends more and gym etc). But
we still stayed behaved like a couple, only the title was gone. about 1 week and a half ago i found him with another girl he came after me said
sorry that he didn't mean to hurt me, he can't live without me and all that jazz. After that i decided to do the No Contact rule since Tuesday last
week he called me on Wednesday, i didn't pick up, then he called me on Monday, about 4 time 2 in the afternoon and 2 at night. still didn't pick
up. Today Wednesday he called me 2 times and sms'd saying he's going to visit home for about 1.5 months (his hometown) and he needs me to pick up the phone. I broke the No contact rule, i called him we spoke he asked if i found someone, he asked if the other girl didn't exist if i would consider staying with him and i said no. We spoke for about 30min then I said i had something to do. and we haven't spoken for 4 days, I miss him and love him and i want him to come back to me and be my boyfriend and stop going out with this other girl. Should i continue No Contact? Does it work to get him back?


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What Guys Said 1

  • No contact isn't a ploy to get someone to come back. It is a way for you to heal and process the loss of the relationship. You two have broken up a couple of times, he obviously doesn't want to go back to a committed relationship with you - and you have never worked on the issues that broke you up in the first place. Focus on you, and whether you really deserve a relationship with this kind of turmoil.

    • HI, its more about the fact that i want him back. our relationship used to be so good. When i see the things he used to say and do. we were starting to work things out by the time i found him with a girl.

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    • i feel like crying all the time, and the gym used to be my comfort, but i hate the gym. she goes to the same gym i do, so seeing her face its just so hurtful, its a constant reminder.

    • I understand all that. It's part of the grieving process when a relationship fails. Take time to heal. It's a recent wound. It will get better.

What Girls Said 1

  • When you break up, you need to stay broken up. Generally there is a significant reason you did (unless of course it is something that the person truly changed to win you back, say alcoholism). Trying to be friends doesn't really work until a significant amount of time has passed and you were friends first for a decent amount of time. Just let it go, and stop crying. I didn't even cry that long over a man I almost married that had been my best friend for 13 years.

    • Yes but it's so hard. We introduced our parents and we were planning our engament party. I just dont understand. I know he loves me, but why would he be around this other chick. it just breaks my heart.

    • I was buying a house with my guy when he broke up with me. Things change. Life continues to move on. Best thing to do is move forward to.

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