Closure Issue? I keep going back to the same place I used to spend time with my ex?

I am Asian American and she is Latina. She grew up in the hood and I grew up in a semi traditional Asian family. I say semi because im no geek or nerdy Asian. I played basketball, football and golf in HS and did the raving thing back in the day. I also hung out with the G's so I know whats up. Except not as deep as my ex.

We met at my work and she started to talk to me. Started with small talk as we walked by to becoming Facebook friends to texting non stop. I know this relationship was going to be something new to me as I have not dated a girl like her before. She was beautiful, not Asian and the language we spoke were completely different. (she uses slang a lot) but that didn't bother me. she told me that she wanted to get out of that life and move on and live a better life. I know I could of helped her cause I been there and done that. Got out and now I have a good job and career.

The relationship started off great. then I started to see red flags. She eventually asked me out to be her man and of course I accepted even with the red flags. I know she wanted to change for good but I believe she wasn't ready. Then i did something i thought id never do. I left the relationship. Never done that ever in my life and it was the hardest thing to do. Especially to a beautiful girl like her.

Now my question is I used to go to a ocean boardwalk pier while I was with her. Not necessarily with her but I would go there to kill time and to think of our relationship.

I still think about her but im pretty much over her. but I can't seem to stop going to the pier. i have not talked to her since i broke up with her. Is this an closure issue?

I also need to mention that i love the ocean. I am an avid fisherman and love to spend time on/or near the water/Ocean.

Why do i keep going back to the pier? Is this a closure issue or my passion for the ocean?


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  • There is nothing wrong with going somewhere you love go. But let me first tell you this.

    I went through a long time of thinking about my very first girlfriend (we were together for about 6 months). A year after breaking up I still thought about her everyday. Even after getting into 2 short term relationship with other women the feeling and the thoughts never went away. Those relationships never went anyway because I was thinking of my ex so it was my own fault.

    During her breakup i never saw or spoke to her. We lived in separate cities. Then suddenly I saw her at a concert. And she had moved to my city. We exchanged phone numbers and called each other a couple of times. We never spoke about our past relationship but it sure did wonders for me. Even-though we still had chemistry, that we had fun while talking and that she was more beautiful than ever I was able to put it all behind me. And I quickly met a woman that was far better for me than her.

    What I am saying is that things need to end. Some people burn pictures of their ex girlfriends/boyfriends and that is enough for them. For me talking helps. We maybe it will help for you too.

    Please ask yourself first if it is truly over in your heart because breaking up and it really being over are two completely different things. If it isn't I suggest to talk her. Maybe at first keep it light and later on maybe ask things or say things you have on your mind. Maybe you will see that your decision was the right one. Or maybe she has now grown in a better suitable person.

    I hope this helps and good luck

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  • In my opinion it's an un close issue.I'm not good handling relationships and sometime ti sucks of not saying my part why our relationship didn't work.Some what it's like an ego issue for me.The best you can do is suppressed that feeling and move on.

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