Taking a Break? Will this make or break us?

So three years ago I met this man, fell in love and then we got pregnant right away. A year and a half later he ended up cheating on me. I tried to forgive him, but his continuous flirting had me second guessing myself. We always fought about it, I guess I couldn't really forgive him since there wasn't only that but just many things that he did that hurt our relationship. Now we decided to take a break he said that he knows I'm unhappy and so is he. He wants to work on ourselves, mind, body, and soul so we can be good parents. I'm feeling as if he has found someone else. Right before this last straw he was hanging out at his coworker/buddy's house who I have only met at his work all the time. He would be out until 4am or not even come home. He said he needed space to find himself and hang out with a men. I still don't know if he's telling me the truth but now he's staying with this coworker and his family instead of here with his family. So I have decided to see what people think. Should I be worrying? Will think weaken or strengthen our relationship by taking this break?


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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like he's putting himself before you and your child.

    He says he wants to work on your relationship and everything, but has he proven that he's actually serious about doing so?

    You seem to have a lot of doubts here, and I don't blame you, given the things he has done in the past and the way he is currently acting.

    He doesn't need space, he needs a reality check.
    Both of you need to decide what you want here. You in particular need to think about what's best for you and your child. If you don't think he's going to make a good father then there's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from him, especially if he's just going to keep doing things that hurt you.

    He says he wants to take a break, but from... what exactly? To me it just sounds like an excuse, he's prolonging the inevitable (by which I mean growing up and acting like a decent adult). Go ahead and let him have his "break," but honestly I'll be very surprised if he's changed at all by the time this break is over.

  • Its hard to say. Taking a break might bring him closer, or make him realize the two of you aren't right for each other. A big red flag was him cheating on you a year and a half into the relationship. Maybe he is seeing someone else, maybe not. If he needs space from the relationship, you can't expect him to come home and sleep under the same roof.

    So right now, its a waiting game. You take space to grow, and give him time to do the same.

    But also be prepared to move on. Its possible the two of you are not meant for each other. Good luck.


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