I'm stuck! Trying to get over him, any suggestions would be appreciated?

I know lots of people have asked this question and I'm usually the one to answer it. I feel so pathetic!

I've never been in this situation before. I've had previous boyfriends and I have been in love before but this was so different.

We were together for 1.5years which doesn't seem that long but we went through things that most couples in 5 years haven't gone through.

I'm strong so I've been able to handle all my other heart break but I don't know why it's so different with him. I let him in which I never do.

I'm functioning. And when I'm with my friends I'm happy as hell and even though I'm still sad I am happy. I'm keeping busy, I'm having fun I'm getting drunk with my friends. I would go get laid but I just really don't want to at all. Plus I'm passed the mentality of fuck buddies.

I love him and I'm holding on to anything I can even though it's stupid. I've only cried once even though I feel like it all the time! and that was only cause he was tagged in a pic with a bunch of girls. He hasn't changed his fb status to single it still says he's with me. And I know it's just Facebook and means something but I hold on I just can't help it.

Everyone keeps saying he'll come back. Cause I wasn't the problem don't get me wrong I have plenty of issues! But I've never tried so hard to make something work in my life. We saw a therapist that told him he had all these issues and I need to work on one thing.

I'm trying not to listen to them I'm trying to move on but it's never been this hard. I just have so many questions I will never have the answers to. I just don't understand why I wasn't good enough for him to work on his issues for. Like I guess that sounds selfish but I would of done anything to make him happy but not if he didn't love me. I knew it wouldn't change over night but as long as he was trying I would of been patient

Sorry I guess I needed to vent

I just don't know how to make the pain stop. Any suggestions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • They always say breaking up is hard to do, and even harder to move on when you have truly loved someone as much as you Obviously Did him And Still Do. He probably was your First True love.
    You haven't found your closure yet, and it's making it Very difficult as well to get on with your life. With so many unanswered questions, Anyone at this point in time, would merely be a Rebound. It's smart Not to get hooked at the hip. You need to do your own soul searching, lick your wounds, and spend some time just working on your life.
    I believe that with All his "issues" he was told by the therapist that he possessed And------Needed to work On compared to your One----he may have put his pride before You and decided it was Too much Red-rick for him, and wanted to venture out alone. Perhaps it wasn't that he Stopped loving you, it was that he got thinking of all the Past history of the 1.5 years, enduring things More than "most couples who Have in a 5 year relationship," And he threw in the towel. He saw You were giving your All, and he couldn't keep up with you, and chose not to.
    Keeping his stats "Single" on FB may be his way of hanging on yet. He doesn't want to humiliate himself by changing this too quickly. Who knows What he is feeling or thinking.
    I give you credit for keeping busy, socialize, and do the best you can each day "trying to move on." However, maybe subconsciously you agree with them that "he'll be back." This will also make it Harder to go on, with a shimmer of hope.
    Nothing in life is a guarantee but death and taxes, but being you both do have a long history together, he may return and miss you enough to want to contact you. It would be your choice to talk or-----Continue to walk, and wallow in trying to "make the pain stop."
    Time does heal All wounds, "it won't change over nite." You're still too close for comfort. For now, all you can do is either shut everyone Up and shut Him Out, Or...wait for possibilities.
    Good luck.xx

    • You may be one of the first people that actually gets this. My friends are great and they try to understand but I'm to strong of a person to show how I really feel to them.

      It's been a month I feel like it's not to soon for him to change his status back to single.

      I was still holding on to him coming back and even now I know it's dump to take him back but I know I would as much as I'd like to believe that I wouldn't. But he's in Florida with a bunch of girls getting drunk so my hope for him to come back is kinda just gone I want it but I know it won't happen.

      Time is going far to slowly for these one I fear. I'm just going to take it day by day cause it's all I can do and just pray I don't run into him cause I'm pretty sure that would break me

    • Show All
    • Well im goung with its just a game to him cause he hasn't brought it up and I told him days I was free and I only got a week left

    • You're probably right...head games.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I mean like the therapist said it sounds like there are a lot of issues he needs to work through.

    I think you should it as a good thing that hopefully he works on these issues and can become a better person either for you or whomever he dates later. but you continued dating him, as the person he is/was, the relationship sounds like it may have been a bit doomed to fail. so I think in a sense you need to consider yourself fortunate

    • The problem is that I've seen how amazing our relationship could be which is why this is so hard cause ya he's got problems but I've seen him without em

  • I don't know what to suggest girl. The only thing I have to say is that your situation is similar with mine. I too posted a question for suggestions, how to forget her. I'm trying to but I just can't. I'm trying to get her out of my head and move on but I love her so much, even though I know deep inside me that she will continue the same shit if we'll be together again.
    I hope it helps if you know that you're not the only one feeling that way.


What Girls Said 1

  • It's not about you but about him really. Get rid of everything you have of his and cut him out of your life.

    • I would love to just get rid of everything but all his stuff is still at my house and there's a lot of expensive stuff he needs to come get and I really could never throw away a cat. It's hard to cut someone out of your life when you have mutual friends

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