If a sort of ex did this, how would you react?

You're an attractive, intelligent university student finishing your degree. You also happen to have suicidal thoughts and are seeing a councilor for depression.

You meet Guy A in your class when paired up for a group assignment. You get along with him well and eventually he asks you out to dinner just before the exam period (lasts 3 weeks). The date goes pretty well and he suggests that after the exams, the two of you go out again.

In the meantime, you two text each other maybe 3 times a week, but you chat for hours at a time. You find him funny, which given your depression, makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You begin to open up to him a little more. He mentions that he has a sister that has been in and out of hospital due to suicide attempts. You sympathize, saying "I can understand where she's coming from", which he picks up on immediately.

You tell him that you sometimes think about ending it all. He asks if he can come over, which you politely decline, saying "I don't want you to see me all messed up", but he insists and says he'll be there in 45 mins.

In the meantime, one of your friends who knows about your situation comes over. He accuses you of making it all up to get attention because he hasn't seen any evidence of self harm. This obviously upsets you very much, and once Guy A arrives, you're balling your eyes out.

He puts his arm around you, holds your hand while you pour your heart out to him. He doesn't seem to know what to say, but still listens intently. He gives you a hug and tells you if there's anythign he can do, to call him. You text him later thanking him for coming over.

Over the next 2 weeks, he seems to keep his distance. He's stopped being funny and instead keeps asking how you are and how your studies are going. He suggests you and him have a study session the night before yoru last exam.
He comes over and seems distant. You try make small talk, but he seems very focused on studying, so you stop
The next day, he drives the two of you to the exam and wishes you good luck (this is the last time you see him in person).
You don't hear from him for another week (how do you feel about this?), when he asks you out. You say you'll try make it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Crying can freak some guys out. He's probably worried and wants to be there for her, but doesn't really know what to do. She should make it clear that he does not have to do anything (unless she actually wants him to do something), and after a while if she acts like she did before, he might go back to being funny.


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