How to piece back self esteem?

Hi everyone, basically I split up with cheating ex 10 months ago.
I'm over her and I've moved on as best as I can however I'm still having trouble with one or two issues.
Because she's unemployed and we have child together she got a house for free. I have a job so at the minute have to stay at my parents while I save enough to get back on my feet. This has done a number on my self esteem as I feel ashamed although I have no choice at the moment as I have to save enough to provide a good house and start for me and my son.
The second issue is that my ex moved onto a new bf after 2 months, the kicker is that he's actually a good guy. My issue being that she cheated on me and yet she gets to move on to a happy relationship. This is compounded by the fact that despite my best efforts at online dating and trying in the real world I can't get a date. Since the break up I've moved on as best as I can in my circumstances. I've lost weight, taken up new hobbies (kickboxing, the gym, football) updated my clothing and personal looks. I generally try to see the brightside of being single but every once in a while ( like tonight) I'm stuck on the injustice that my ex cheated yet she gets to walk off in the sunset with a new bf new house whilst I'm stuck at my parents house with no prospects of a date. When I read this back it sounds like a pity party but I have to say I'm generally really positive and I am in a better mental place but I'm fed up of putting a brave face on things as I have noone in my life to tell that my self esteem is shredded. Has anyone. In my position come out of the other side in a good place?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I am not going threw a divorce, but it feels like I am. I was with my ex boyfriend for a year and things ended badly. thankfully we didn't have kids together, but I was close to his kids from his previous marriage. I recommend that you seek one on one counseling or you join a support group. its always good to have someone to speak to other then family and friends. as time goes on it will get easier for both of us. I am sure its hard living at home, but its much better then living in a situation that's not healthy for you and your son.


What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, ME
    been there done that
    if she hadn't cheated, bored with bettering our lives with my professional degree efforts, I wouldn't have suffered a little bit (like you) but also NOT wound up with an angel, perfect in every way and free from those commands and duties of the ex. FREE, I TELL YOU, FREE!

    Excellent that he's a good guy b/c you'll never be free of the ex bitch, so you or new wife can easily work things out with this good guy in future... visitations, swap for holidays, other childhood things, then marriage, babies, etc. UGH Good guy = good deal unless she poisons his mind - since you'll always be saintly around him, he'll be on YOUR side.

    "OH, so you live with your PARENTS" = ugh UNTIL you tell them WHY. They'll make a 180d about face when they learn your being a good provider fr the ex, house & kid, saving money with a good job = husband/proven stud father material for gals shopping for a guy.

    It's always darkest before the dawn.
    Make a list of what you want, pray to God, then go shopping for the best divorce prize a guy could want!