Girlfriend kissed lad during six month Asia trip?

So, I am a British lad who took some work over in Ireland where I subsequently met my girlfriend.

Things were going well there and when our contracts expired, she suggested I moved to Germany with her (which I did), but there is a bit of a catch. She already has a 6 month trip booked in Asia.

Don't question why I came here, it is something I was planning to do anyway, since my brother lives here, better lifestyle, better money etc.

Anyway, so she phones me last night (about 50 days before she's due home) and apologises that she ended up kissing this lad the other day. She says she was not even drunk, it just kinda happened, but nothing more.

Now, I completely understand that it is difficult, especially when you're drunk -think about what I am dealing with here in the pub every Friday /Saturday night. And I also understand that it was just a kiss, and really; a kiss? What even is that? Not really worth crying about spilt milk.

Problem is, it kind of did hurt, and I am a little bit stuck as to what to do. I don't want to throw it all away, that's for sure. Maybe a little bit of advice from someone who experienced a similar issue?

Many thanks all, for your input.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel you. I've been cheated on also. :( You are iffy about this because you know that what she did is something that should never occur in a relationship. You need to realize that this is cheating. You are so much better than this...I know it's hard but trust me you will be okay the sooner you move on.

    • The thing is, I have invested a lot of time and money into this relationship, it is also completely out of character and I genuinely really like her.

      A kiss, is only a kiss, but I don't want to just sweep it under the carpet and let her think it is okay. Besides, even though I really don't want to say or believe this, who's saying that it was only a kiss? Who's to say, she wasn't being eaten up by guilt after sleeping with a guy on a night out and then just thought 'ohh, I'll mention I kissed a bloke'.

      I have so much prepared for us for when she comes home, I have spent a lot of money on travel these past months seeking employment, saving enough money to get a car and a flat sorted and am waiting for her to come home now. A lot of effort for nothing if I just show her the door, maybe I am naive if I don't.


    • Right now you are displaying birth confirmation bias as well as belief perseverance...I know it hurts that she cheated on you, but you are slmewhat lying to yourself at this point. A kiss is a this case...a form of cheating. Sure she may have felt guilty but she should not have done it in the first place. She needs to understand that you don't tolerate this behavior...I know it's hard but trust me it will be better on e you move on...I've been in your shoes before...I know what I'm talking about...

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Talk it out tell her exactly how you feel about what happened and ask her that you need to work on this point and that she will need to gain some of your trust back then give her the chance to make it up while you're still together

    • That's how I want to see it. Kiss is just a minor thing, but the trust is just out the window.

  • I would feel cheated. It seem like these days people dont cherish relationship anymore..kissing cuddling sleeping around I feel disappointed with the behaviour of some people.
    I would break off with one who cheated on me


What Guys Said 1

  • Really depends on how YOU feel about it? Is it still worth it to continue the relationship? Do you think she'd ever do it again?

    She was honest. I think this may happen to a good amount of couples and the significant other never tells.