Women should not be forced to date a nice guy (Page 2)
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There's a difference between a genuine nice guy and a pretentious, self proclaim nice guy who whines and bitch about when they get turned down. Those self proclaim nice guys uses the "You want to date a fuck boy excuse" as an scapegoat to try and rationalize why they get turned down. Every guy have different things to offer and you don't necessarily have to be nice or bad to be compatible with someone. In addition, every guy will have flaws no matter what because nobody is really perfect, but if you care about that person enough, you can look past them in a heart beat.
Well if they lie about being a "nice guy" then they aren't really "nice" then are they? But that doesn't mean you should start hating nice guys. What is a genuine nice guy supposed to say, "I'm a douche?" Its not the nice guys women should hate its the liars.
I think the label of "nice guy" is specific to certain people, and it quite often gets confused with the trait of being "nice". I myself am many things, and one of the traits to which I have is nice. However, I don't follow the entirety of the "nice guy" category.
When people speak of "nice guys". They are speaking of the guy who is shy, a beta, closeted, withdrawn, not ambitious, not always attractive, and isn't entirely too charming. This often gets misconstrued with having the trait of being nice. Which I've run into quite a bit.
A guy can be nice, attractive, fun, charming, ambitious, outgoing, intelligent, and open. That is what I strive to be as that's just me being the best version of myself. Which in the end, I think the label of "nice guys" should be elaborated upon as the definition to the traits that that specific genre of men fall under.
"sometimes it's hard to separate the good apples from the bad"
It's only hard if you're a shit judge of character. That, or you're simply blinded to his real nature because he's "hawt".
If you truly can't pick up on the way a person carries themselves, the things they say, how they behave, how they treat people around them, etc and need to be burned to learn your lesson, I feel very sorry for you.
I know plenty of men who behave like their angels of God yet they are the most disgusting beings alive. Heck you wouldn't know if you were marrying a serial killer and you would probably die not knowing that your husband was a sadistic murderer. Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for yourself because you're going preaching how if one can't pick up people's actions then there's something wrong with them. You don't know HALF of what manipulation is all about because you haven't seen the tip of it yet. Welcome to planet earth.
It's exceptionally sad you feel that you need to personally be manipulated just so you'll know how to recognise it, lmao.
Manipulators and sociopaths/psychopaths are people too and they are very much capable of slipping up. If you're incapable of seeing when their mask is crumbling, you should feel sorry for yourself, love.
Furthermore, majority of cases douchebags women date don't really hide their douchebaggery. Women are simply blinded by "confidence" or some other silly trait an asshole has instead of evaluating the whole package.
The fact that you feel like being condescending to me while you only learn from your own mistakes is hilarious. A smart person learns from the mistakes of others instead of stepping on the same rake over and over again, then strutting along like you know what you're doing. : D
oh no I was strutting along I was simply telling you my opinion and how you take It is simply not my problem. You seem to think that you know everything and that other people's opinions are undervalue which from where in standing is a bit pathetic considering the age you claim to be. Secondly what you see isn't always what you get. I can probably bet my life savings you're one of those people that can't tell a person character trait since you're an airhead that goes around preaching what you probably don't practice.
I was wondering how soon you would bring my age into the conversation, it seems to be a common theme among those incapable of forming coherent arguments. And then you followed up by personally insulting me i. e. calling me an airhead, which is nothing short of predictable.
@Bandit74 nailed it with pointing out what sort of character you are.
All this attitude and judgement based on your own inability to scope out shit people and anger over having that highlighted, lol.
okay ☺
I think my opinion was removed/hidden 😢
@MaskedSanity Absolutely agree 100%!
I'm marrying a woman who didn't give her body away to some bad boy who charmed her. Likewise, I've been waiting for the right person, too.
You are perfectly free to date whoever you want. No one is saying you should be forced to date a guy you're not attracted to.
At the end of the day, though, your choices will either bring you happiness or bitterness. You choose to have sex with bad boys and get pregnant, so you shouldn't feel obligated to cry to the other men you rejected. We don't care anymore.
"I'm marrying a woman who didn't give her body away to some bad boy who charmed her." That you know about.
Women lie about these things, you know.
@Tarvold she's very devout and traditional.
Still not gurranteed. Women are very good at putting on a good girl act.
Perfect example:
A girl who is a norman did porn 1 month before her wedding. Let the dude pound the shit out of her, sucked him off and he finished inside her mouth. She then got married to some guy who is not aware of her porn escapades later.
So many girls are able to put on a good girl show. Girl being religious these days doesn't mean shit.
Oh and Norman girl isn't a slut either prior to all this. She didn't party, had 1 sexual partner before the whole porn thing.
@KENKONG you can say what you want. My fiancée is legit. She's not "born again." Heck, I'm surprised that she didn't become a nun. She has a naiveté that is impossible to fake.
Sorry that you are so jaded that you can't even imagine that there are good women out there.
I don't think shy and weak are the same thing, and I don't think either of them are the same as a "nice guy". I think Nice Guys are the guys who are always getting friend-zoned.
I think the friend-zoned dudes that complain about how women never go after nice guys aren't the self-sacrificers they claim to be. I think they're the guys who think if they're nice to a woman, they're entitled to a relationship with her. They're putting Nice Guy coins into a vending machine, thinking a girlfriend will pop out. They're only in this friendship because they think if they do it for long enough, it will turn into a relationship.
I have found that the nice guys turn out to be controlling and possessive. I dated a guy for four months who was an all around sweet heart. However, shit got out of hand really quickly. He wanted to go everywhere with me and spend his every moment crammed up my ass. It slowly turned into me not being able to answer my phone call from my doctor without him asking me to out it on speaker because he wanted to know details. He also claimed to be in love with me a week after we met. He brought me on dates and would give every single man the stink eye who looked at me.
So one guy claimed to be nice and lied about it, and you got "All nice guys are controlling and possessive?"
I'm assuming you took offense to that because you're genuinely sensitive?
Because one guy is fake nice you assume all nice guys are that way?
@ManuelMarquez self proclaimed nice guys are always assholes in disguise.
You know what? You're goddamn right you should date him. This whole thing is so nonsensical I can't believe I have to write this. What do you mean "What else do you have to offer me?", what, being an all around good guy isn't good enough for you? Because that's what they mean when they say "nice guy". It's not just someone who holds the door and pays for your drinks. It's a guy who cares and loves and treats you like a decent human being. Isn't that enough for you princess? Does he have to tame a tiger and go off adventuring into space.
Instead why don't you ask yourself what are you bringing into relationship aside from having a vagina?
Like she said... Being nice is good but that shouldn't be the only thing you have to offer. You can be nice but boring as hell, you can be nice but not sexually attractive to her, you can be nice but not have anything in common with her...
I can say the exact same thing about women.
Ok i get it, but then don't come and complain that mr perfect 6'0, has many friends, an amazing job, is not committed or then changes. Because the way i see it, is that women now days put more emphasis on other things that are not as important than the way a guy treats you.
same goes with men.
Well said bro! The more requirements there are , the less potentials there are to meet them
Thank you! I remember in my sophomore year of high school i turned down a guy who was in my friendzone and his friends kept asking me why i didn't date him because he was so nice looking back i should've told them to fuck off.
Seeing most of these people's comments on here only tells me one thing, and that the Western World is messed up. You see people in other Countries that are especially more worse off than us, and yet people from there are the most human. Yet in the West we complain about everything including people that fit certain stereotypes.
This is one of the many reasons in why I will most probably just end up trying to just live in either Russia, or China.
Unlike the women scum of the western world, the western world has earnt Islamic State
I don't blame you. Not to mention the courts and system of debt.
You mean you want guy that abuses you in the end. You mean you want the guy that wants to destroy you. Planet Earth and Planet Nibiru are the only planets with girls that believe nice guys are boring and can't make them happy. The guy that can really make you happy is the one you end up rejecting. Just because a guy is nice doesn't mean he can't make you happy. Just because a guy is nice doesn't mean he's boring. Maybe he's holding back his power because he doesn't want to hurt you. The strongest sentient beings I've ever met in the multiverse were also the nicest sentient beings in the multiverse.
I forgot a word in the first sentence... *You mean you want the guy that abuses you in the end."
so what? if I rejected you it's simply because I don't like you. how you take that is not my problem. If I Don't Feel anything towards you regardless of how special you treated me then it's not my fault and neither is the man. That's just how it is and some guys need to move on find someone who will return the same feelings. that simple
Don't worry, I'm not interested in you anyway, LOOOOOOOOL. You sound like a destructive girl.
what are you saying? because I'm simply replying to what you said and then you're telling me that you're not interested in me? did I disturb a cocain session
I really can't tell if you're trolling or being serious, LOOOOOOOOL. I don't do drugs.
Your relationship status, LOOOOOOOOL. So, typical of girls that go for abusive guys.
So typical****
Would you like me to awaken Your Spirit? :D
Nevermind, I'll let you unlock Your Spirit on your own. It's no fun if I do everything for you. Peace. :D
for someone who claims to be in their mid late 20s you act pathetically childish. that it's actually quite disturbing. that "abusive" women you're talking about would sure be happier to be in the as of someone who lusts for her then be with someone like you that's the definition of a pathetic excuse of a man. oops.
"" hey I'm a gold digger.""
They kinda do, you can tell based on their accessories and their excessive makeup usage,
Anyhow, some people truly believe that being a "nice guy" and treating a woman "the way women are supposed to be treated, and treated right" isn't sexist and dehumanizing. They're wrong.
Gold diggers don't have a special "look", having excessive makeup really does not = gold digger...
@Rainie_ Well it shows you're vain. It's one tiny element out of multiple, but I still think it partly correlates.
At the end of the day it seems a women wants a nice guy that has confidence and a personality since most nice guys are just doormats.
*all women want
That's exactly what most women mean when they say they want a "nice" guy. Nice, but also confident.
@kdizzleforizzle91 confidence thing is shallow so is humor. That has nothing to do with a person being honest, loyal, respectul, an unselfish lover, caring ir anything that really matters in a relationship
Most YOUNG women actually hate confidence.
Interesting note: When a guy acts like an asshole, that's a sign of insecurity, hence a lack of confidence.
@cjmtherfcker being honest, loyal, and respectful doesn't make you interesting, entertaining, or compelling. People want partners who provide companionship and elevate the quality of their lives. A loyal stick in the mud is still a stick in the mud.
@Dandeus being entertaining and compelling doesn't make you honest loyal or respectful. question is, of those two sets of criteria which one is more important to be a partner. Furthermore only men get downgraded for not being entertaining and compelling like its our job to keep bitches entertained. I find it a bit insulting that because you are not so called compeling our entertaining your worthless. that shit is shallow
@cjmtherfcker It goes both ways. The woman has too entertain you too or else you would leave her.
@cjmtherfcker I don't waste my time on boring chicks. If I'm not having fun with her, I'm not coming back for another date. If you just want a pussy on reserve that you can ignore when you're done, that's your issue. Says a lot about your standards though, and reveals a lot about why chicks don't go for self-professed nice guys.
@cjmtherfcker I wasn't purposely leaving those qualities out. Those are all much more important to me. I was merely agreeing with the posters comment because there is some merit to it.
@kdizzleforizzle91 That's exactly what I meant by nice.
Not all guys stay doormats, i'm outgrowing the doormat phase
While I agree with your sentiment. It doesn't mean that I disagree with the comments which have lead you to make this argument.
A lot of girls complain that "there are no nice guys" while willfully dating guy after guy who is obviously not. I do not fault them for their choice, but I will point out the disingenuous nature of their comments.
Perhaps it's just a side effect of ever increasing sexual freedom? Perhaps people need to learn to grow up and not think with their sexual organs.
that depends on what you mean by the tag "nice guy" - my mentor taught me that most confidence-cocky guys are the ones that have only lived in an environment where they are they are royalty and are surrounded by friends. In the military, I was able to observe the "cocky" guys go from super stud - to quiet little bitch because they were no longer surrounded by friends. (So i saw this for myself) ... These guys are never leaving a situation where they feel safe and surrounded by friends. They will always return or try to stay there. You will never find a cocky bad-ass from dumpsville travelling alone somewhere in Europe. So--- back to your question, what do you mean by "nice guy" - if part of your long term plan includes not spending the rest of your life in the same place, dont get attached to someone that can only be your dream man in his own backyard.
Yes, you are correct women should be able to date whoever they want just don't come complaining to me if a bad guy breaks your heart or uses you because that was your choice to date him. I have not time or patience for women that date the bad guy and then when he breaks her heart turn sexist and say things like "all men are pigs". When a woman dates a bad guy I have no interest in hearing the woman's problems.
just like a woman has no interest in the guys relationship with girl. if she treats you like shit dont cry for us Argentina
All I am saying is if a woman dates a guy that knows will hurt her then that is her fault when she does get hurt. Same if a man dates a girl that is a bitch. Why should the man or woman feel sorry for them. If a man or woman date someone that they honestly feel is a good person and get treated like shit you can have more sympathy for them.
So what I am saying in the comment above and my original opinion is perfectly fine and acceptable.
Based on the title alone I think it's good to clarify. The reason some guys think that being a nice guy will get them a girl is because it is VERY common for a girl to say "I just want a nice guy", "why can't I find a nice guy like you?".
Those guys take that statement literally and think that's all they need to be.
Yeah, this man right here has a point too. Girls keep telling how being nice is awesome and how they want a really nice guy to care for them etc. while they don't obey to what they say when it comes to action. There's a huge inconsistency between what girls say and what they do.
@TheGuyFromMiddleEast but then that's the same with males too. "I want wife material" but you're dating a bitch who gossips about how idiotic you are behind your back.
I'm a former "nice guy" and I've also slept with over 30 women (when I started wising up). With that said I can understand why and why not women are attracted to nice guys vs. douches. However some girls out there will put a "dangle" in front of nice guys and take them for a long ride. They enjoy the free meals, male attention, etc but offer nada in return. You don't have any impetus to date a nice guy but you sure as hell don't have to torture him in the friend zone. Every guy you go on a date or note most likely is interested in getting your pants. You don't have to oblige to don't be a cunt and drag him along (happened to me twice).
The mind games essentially and the drama. I don't tolerate it. That's how you handle it.
first of all, there's not 1 woman who was forced.
2ndly, you're highly misunderstood.
its women who go for guys that every other women like which makes it very easy for him to cheat, play around and be less genuine. than the women complains! as if she's an angel and victimizes herself.
its women trying to eat the cake too that society finds annoying. women always demand an easier way, then pull the victim card and demand privilege through it.
what you're asking is for the best qualities of both worlds but that it doesn't happen like that does it?
thats like expecting a very hot girl that wears nice cloths and expensive hand bags not to be materialistic. she has rich guys throwing her resources... who are also good looking with a nice personality. why would she deem just any guy intriguing?
Of course. No person should be forced or guided to date someone they don't want. After all, that person knows what they are attracted to, not complete strangers.
I just think that a lot of people think that being "nice" is the only quality a guy must have for a lot of women. That's not true. Sure, some women would like a "nice" guy that they can use and abuse, but many women want one who is confident enough to voice his opinions, not a lap dog.
Agree with this Take, of course.
There are way to many comments and I'm sorry for the harsh ones that I've seen from the irrational dolts. You would think this would be a simple concept to grasp, and yet it's one of the hardest ones. Preach on though.