In other words, monogamy assumes that both parties will be adhering to traditional roles. And while women long ago neglected their traditional roles via the parasitic society-ender known as feminism, men are still held accountable to their traditional roles. So what this means in a marriage is that a man is still expected to work like a dog, remain faithful to his wife, and take care of his family while it is perfectly okay for his wife to be unfaithful, neglect her duties as a mother, deny him sex, and making monogamy miserable in all ways possible.
How long did you make him wait? Each guy is different and wants something different, so it's hard to say you did anything wrong. I think what matters is you do what's comfortable for you.
"Nobody gets laid but models, celebs and rich guys"
Totally untrue, man. GAG is not the real world and average joes have plenty of sex - casual and committed. Generally with women in their range of looks, but they're out there getting it.
Players vs guys having sex are like gold diggers vs SAHM - it's the manipulation that's the problem.
"... women are being promiscuous, especially favouring a small minority of high status males - celebrities, very attractive models, and wealthy, successful men. The majority of men outside this clique will by and large be inexperienced..."
Things in the real world are so different than GAG, which is basically a circle jerk of guys affirming each other's baseless manosphere opinions. Meeting some real people, working on their inner and outer traits and refusing to drink the poison would help a lot of guys actually achieve their goals rather than rage cumming in forums.
I do agree that it's good advice for guys to move on if the chick doesn't seem very interested after a few weeks. It's not your job to coax her to show her feelings and be upfront.
'especially favouring... The majority of men outside this clique '
That's not the same as saying '[n]obody gets laid but models, celebs and rich guys'. The argument is that by and large women are more hypergamous than men. It might not just be models, celebs and rich guys they're dating, but for the most part, they do date UP.
'Things in the real world are so different than GAG'
Look on the internet outside GAG. There are entire communities of bitter, angry and misogynistic belonging to pick-up forums and sub-reddits like MGTOW and the Red Pill. They're like that for a reason. You just don't hear them voice their opinions much in real life because society tells them to 'suck it up'.
'it's good advice for guys to move on if the chick doesn't seem very interested after a few weeks'
Onto what? Another chick that does the exact same?
The Internet as a whole is different than the real world. If all I looked for was furry porn, I'd think most people humped in plushie suits. Like I said, I know tons of regular dudes who do fine. But instead, guys here get sucked into the dark world where they just validate each other and make each other more and more angry and depressed. Hence, circle jerk.
'guys here get sucked into the dark world where they just validate each other and make each other more and more angry and depressed. Hence, circle jerk.'
Some of these guys also have real life experience of self-improvement and attempting to meet/attract women. So these guys actually WILL have realistic experience of the situation that the dating world is in (hypergamous and polygynous female mating strategies).
A lot of times, these are dudes trying to rip off the others selling shit, too.
Wanna "smash sloots?" Get jacked and hit the clubs every night, bruh.
Wanna get to know someone and try a relationship? Take time getting to know them so you don't sink yourself in quicksand.
Want to alternate between these two? Go for it, but lying makes you a POS.
I'm actually agreeing with you that guys should do what they want. I only disagree that the 80/20 ratio is a thing so all guys should just give up cuz bitches.
'A lot of times, these are dudes trying to rip off the others selling shit, too. '
That's assuming all men sharing their experience (myself included) are claiming to be experts or trying to make money.
'Wanna "smash sloots?" Get jacked and hit the clubs every night, bruh.
Wanna get to know someone and try a relationship? Take time getting to know them so you don't sink yourself in quicksand.
Want to alternate between these two? Go for it, but lying makes you a POS.'
If you think there aren't plenty of guys out there investing in their self-improvement and trying different strategies but still failing, you'd be dead wrong. And it seems that men have to invest a lot MORE into self-improvement than women on the whole because, guess what...
'I only disagree that the 80/20 ratio is a thing'
80/20 is real.
'so all guys should just give up cuz bitches.'
I don't think guys should give up. It's just expected that they're going to need to let off some steam.
Why? Women are extremely adept at getting the best of both worlds (long-term relationships with sexually inexperienced men that have to 'suck it up' and short-term flings with players that will probably be rejected in the long run). If a man tries to get this as well, why does it make him a piece of shit?
I actually KNOW many normal guys in the real world who get sex. I didn't say as many possible options as women, but women have less interest in casual sex altogether. Guys get aroused & have orgasms much more easily, plus have far fewer risks involved, which run from a painful sexual experience to pregnancy to being murdered for women. It's comparing apples to oranges.
Frankly, I think a lot of guys online have below average social skills - many of them social anxiety. Which I feel for because I have a different form of anxiety. But it doesn't mean they're the norm. Guys on here look at a small sample size of men who frequent online forums (not a random slice of the population) & say "Yup, all dudes are like us." and then look at a small sample of good looking, charming women and think "All women are like them."
It makes you feel good to think "Bitches ruin my life." but it doesn't change anything. Like I said. I think you all get off more on your pity parties & rage trains.
There's another possibility which is that men online in fact resemble a growing proportion of the male population that are increasingly bitter and cynical about dating but their views get shut down in real life so they turn to the internet instead.
Men are more free to express themselves on the internet, so in that way it's more real than the real world. Also, because of the internet, more men are comparing experiences.
People don't get online to talk with strangers about being happy and things working out, mostly they do to vent about being upset. That colors your perception of how things really are.
I've been sexually abused and sometimes talk online to others with similar experience... But to base my perception of the world on the experiences ONLY of others who were molested or raped would be a vast mistake. You can't get caught in the online world trap.
They might not need to deceive you personally, but it is true that a lot of women do practice these double standards and are playing the men themselves like that.
You have to be careful when you use the word "never". I know several women that frown at guys that practice non committed relationships, even when the man is honest about what he is looking for.
@heavensgift2girls I know what mean, I'm a girl. What those girls are feeling is the disappointment of that guy not wanting a relationship. Not the same thing. A guy should be honest about his intentions even if it doesn't work out. Why? Because it's a crab shoot just like dating.. Eventually he will run into a gal with same intentions
You have to manipulate to get a girl. Casual or not. If I go up to a girl and tell her strait up I don't want something serious, she will think you a desperate creep. Why do you think guys play these games? Because it works...
that's because most men have already realised that virtue doesn't get the lady. the 'make him wait' philosophy just weeds out the good men if not applied right.
The Make Him Wait is just common sense, get to know anyone a bit so you can see their true intentions. I think it extends to platonic relationships. You can't expect people to sleep with people they don't trust, and for many people it takes a while to trust enough to sleep with them. Not everyone is a dick and just holding out for the sake of exerting power.
While I agree with some of this (mostly that there a lot of double standards in dating), there are a couple of things I have issues with. Mainly, the idea that men are being 'strung along' if a woman wants to wait for sex. If you want sex immediately, and she doesn't, you have to decide whether you actually care about her enough to wait until she's comfortable, or if you should just leave her, because sex matters more to you than her comfort.
I'd also like to add that not all double standards are in favour of women. For example, it's acceptable for a man to have had many sexual partners, but unacceptable for a woman to have as many. There's also the issue of women being seen as crazy or high maintenance if they express their feelings or needs in a relationship, while it's seen as a good thing for men to open up about it.
'If you want sex immediately, and she doesn't, you have to decide whether you actually care about her enough to wait until she's comfortable, or if you should just leave her, because sex matters more to you than her comfort.'
You've also got to factor into consideration whether or not there's likely to be a woman that will be reasonable about sex or not.
Wanting to wait for sex is not unreasonable. It just doesn't coincide with what you want. That doesn't make anyone unreasonable. If all you're looking for is sex, then yes, you'd both be better off if you left her. She would obviously be looking for something long term, and you either are not, or you require sex immediately in a relationship. Either way you would not be compatible.
Uh, no. She's allowed to want to wait before involving sex in a relationship, regardless of her virgin status. You're talking about double standards, and things being unfair to men, but that's just sheer hypocrisy if you're trying to tell women that they have to have sex with you whenever you want it, if they're not virgins.
I think this is actually a good example of a double standard. You assume that if a man doesn't conform to a woman's way of thinking and wait that he doesn't care about her, but the woman isn't expected to conform to the man's way of thinking when it comes to sex. Then you make assumptions about how the man must have felt about her. That is a very one sided way of looking at things. Often the guy just doesn't feel like the relationship is progressing, and moves on. It doesn't mean he never cared about her, or that sex was his only motive for being in a relationship with her. There are men and women that want relationships but aren't going to wait as long as their partner may want to wait for sex.
no, when a girl blowbangs 30 guys then demands a man that's withheld his integrity all his life has to commit, she is hypocritical and manipulative for doing so.
'you're trying to tell women that they have to have sex with you whenever you want it, if they're not virgins.'
Nope, I'm saying that they're not worthy of a committed relationship, especially not from a man that's virgin or inexperienced. If they wanted commitment from a man that was virgin or sexually inexperienced, they should have been a LOT more virtuous themselves.
@heavensgift2girls Actually no, that's not what I said. What I said was that if you want sex immediately, or before she wants it, then you would both be better off apart, because you would not be compatible. You have every right to want sex sooner rather than later, and she has every right to want to wait. If you don't want to wait, then don't be in the relationship. That's not a double standard, it's common sense.
Yes, that is a little hypocritical, but only if she's demanding he be a virgin. Wanting to wait for sex while in a commited relationship is not manipulative. A man doesn't HAVE to commit. And if he doesn't want to, then he has plenty of other sexual options than the women who want a commitment before sex.
You may not want to commit to a woman if she is not a virgin (in which case, you are also a hypocrite unless you're a virgin too), and you don't have to. But this is the first time you've brought up women demanding a guy be inexperienced (which is only rarely going to happen anyway).
Like I said, you don't have to be in any relationship you don't want to be in, and a woman doesn't have to have sex with you before she's ready. You need to find women that you're more compatible with.
'Yes, that is a little hypocritical, but only if she's demanding he be a virgin.'
Yea, and I already conceded this to you. She's allowed to apply the 'make him wait' rule to a player or whatever. Sexually inexperienced guys need to take a dip in the ocean before they pick a beach. They probably don't want to choose a beach loads of seagulls have already shat on.
'women demanding a guy be inexperienced (which is only rarely going to happen anyway)'
I'm not talking about women demanding a relationship only with an inexperienced guy. I'm talking about women demanding inexperienced guys already in a relationship commit when they've already fucked and sucked about ten cocks, then assuming that he's going to be ok with the fact she's the only girl he's ever slept with ten or fifteen years down the line.
That's his decision, not hers. If he doesn't want to only sleep with one woman, or is not ok with her history, then he needs to do something about it. No one can force anyone else to commit. You're also assuming a lot about the woman's motives. She may have been mistreated, she may have grown up and decided she wanted something different, she may just want to make sure he likes her before she has sex with him. For example, a woman may have had several partners in the past, but has since been assaulted/abused, and cannot trust a man without knowing him properly first. A woman is allowed to ask a man to commit. A man is allowed to refuse to do so. There's nothing else to it.
Not about forcing anyone. Just pointing out the hypocrisy involved and the moral judgement you will encounter from many many men which is actually quite justified and based on sound logic.
But most women don't want to hear about that because, hey - the truth hurts, and it's not such a nice thing to be a manipulative, promiscuous slag after all.
Well, you've just about shown that you're actually either trolling, or just being an idiot.
The hypocrisy you're pointing out does not exist. A woman can choose who to have sex with, and who not to have sex with, and who she wants a commitment from. A man can choose the same. None of your arguments are logical or justified.
As for a woman 'choosing' wrong... well, that's just a moronic statement. No woman chooses someone she thinks is going to hurt her, and NO ONE chooses to be assaulted.
'A woman can choose who to have sex with, and who not to have sex with, and who she wants a commitment from.'
She can do what she wants, and I can pass judgement as I so freely desire because, hey - Libertarianism works! If you happen to be in the bottom 80% of men that are sexually unsatisfied because of hypergamous, polygynous practices, then tough titties.
Your not getting it. Girl fucks and sucks 10+ guys. Some of which she has 1 night stand and flings with. Relationship never progressive to marriage and she is now 26-27. She finds a "stable" good guy who she sees a relationships with. Some of guys she's fucked in the past she's given it up to that very night. Now she wants this poor sucker to wait for a month before he can get her in bed because she wants to make sure that he's not in it just for sex.
Strong logic and double standard there. Fling guys get sex shorter than guys who you want commitment. This is female version of men who sleep around with multiple girls but want a virgin/inexperience girl to wait for them at the end of the sexual escapade.
I never said you couldn't pass whatever judgement you like. You're entitled to your opinions, but that's all they are - opinions. Your claims of hypocrisy, however, are simply false.
'No woman chooses someone she thinks is going to hurt her, and NO ONE chooses to be assaulted.'
Nope, they just happen to have terrible filters because guess what? All the feminist rhetoric about 'female intuition' aside - e. g. good guys don't get laid because women 'intuit' beyond their 'act' - women are actually pretty poor at choosing suitable men and that's how they wind up with men possessing sociopathic and manipulative traits. It's because of their total lack of morale or dignity. They get what they deserve.
'Your claims of hypocrisy, however, are simply false.'
They're not false. Either your sexually pure, in which case you're in a reasonable position to demand your partner be likewise, otherwise your NOT, in which case you have absolutely NO right to demand such a thing. The latter scenario is defined 'hypocritical' by conventional language - the way ordinary people use such language.
@KENKONG I am getting it. It's just stupid. Look at it from another angle. Woman is young, has sex with a few guys, and grows up. Wants marriage, meets a guy she cares about. She wants to make sure he's the right one, without letting sex cloud the issue for either of them. She asks him to wait a short time. He has two options. a) Wait for a short time, commit to her, and have sex when both people are ready, or b) leave her and find someone he can have sex with earlier. That's is. It's simple. Both people get to decide what they do.
Fling guys usually get sex faster than guys who women want to commit, sure. Because a woman doesn't give a shit about a personal connection with a one night stand. Just like a man doesn't give a shit about the same thing. When it comes to a relationship, everyone wants that personal connection, and it becomes, for a time, more important tham jumping into bed right away.
Yep, you're an idiot. It's sort of amusing the way you're trying to use sophisticated language to disguise your lack of intelligent argument.
The simple fact that you think women get what they deserve when they're assaulted, shows why you're so bitter about this situation - no woman wants you, because you're a jackass.
Bloody hell, I hate repeating myself. YES, demanding any partner be a virgin when you are not is hypocritical, but that is NOT what this is about. A woman wanting to wait for sex is absolutely within her rights, regardless of her sexual history. Every partner and every situation is different. She's not forcing you to be abstinent. She's only saying she wants to wait for sex until she gets to know someone.
'Yep, you're an idiot... no woman wants you, because you're a jackass.'
Make whatever assumptions without knowing me that you want.
'no woman wants you, because you're a jackass.'
So what, women really do intuit all this character information then? Howcome they are so adept at avoiding jackasses but not brilliant when it comes to abusive relationships with sociopaths and assholes?
'YES, demanding any partner be a virgin when you are not is hypocritical'
I can tell you're a jackass, because you apparently think that anyone deserves to be raped or abused. Which makes you either a moron, or a shit person.
Because, amazingly enough, sociopaths and abusers hide what they really are until it's too late. It's all too obvious that people like you are jackasses.
If women go out of their way to avoid the right kinds of men in favour of men with sociopathic tendencies then yes, what happens to them is what you would expect to happen.
'sociopaths and abusers hide what they really are until it's too late. It's all too obvious that people like you are jackasses.'
I'd appreciate it if you didn't insist that people deserve to be raped and abused. Which, by the way, makes you a dickhead. Guess I am right about you!
Actually no, that's a direct observation from every single thing you've written. The worst part is that you don't realise how much of a shitty human being you are. You're one of those loser guys that are so damn bitter, that they decide that all women are bad and deserve bad things. You're pathetic.
'women are actually pretty poor at choosing suitable men and that's how they wind up with men possessing sociopathic and manipulative traits. It's because of their total lack of morale or dignity. They get [the type of man] they deserve.'
I don't remember specifically saying that they deserve to get raped or assaulted. You're just putting words in my mouth - a machiavellian debating tactic.
but yeah, there's good reasons that there are so many abusive relationships, and so many kids being born into such chaotic households growing up to be abusive, rapists, etc. themselves. *hint: it's the signals women are sending off to men about what kind of personal attributes they find sexually attractive*
No, see what you said was 'they get what they deserve'. Don't try to alter the meaning of it. Your statement meant, or implied at least, that women deserved whatever torment and trauma they got, because they picked the wrong man. Ignore that assault is often committed by a stranger, and that abuse is often committed by a family member.
You're a revolting human being, and one day, I hope you realise how truly disgusting you are.
In the context of choosing 'men possessing sociopathic and manipulative traits' they get the partner they deserve. Don't try to twist my words because it won't work.
'that women deserved whatever torment and trauma they got, because they picked the wrong man.'
if they were looking for men with those attributes, or they were too lazy to adjust their own values and develop better filter mechanisms, then yes, at the very least, they do take responsibility for what men they let into their life. they certainly don't have the moral high ground to turn around and say, "well, there just aren't any good men out there", when they are avoiding good men.
Say whatever you want because it's way off the mark.
See, that's not the way it works. No one chooses someone who is going to hurt them. People with those traits are incredibly good at hiding them, as I've already said. You keep trying to justify yourself, and you keep ignoring major points that I've made, like assault is rarely someone you've 'let into your life'. So apparently, you're definitely an idiot along with being a despicable human being.
' No one chooses someone who is going to hurt them. '
Let's be real - there's women out there who get off on the passion of men like this, and women that will put up with the abuse (emotionally OR physically) just because of the highs and lows in the relationship. No two ways about it.
The other kind of girl attracts men like this because of her own emotional securities. But she definitely has ethical responsibility to improve her character.
The only time, I would say the girl is totally faultless is when the man really is a true genius at the masquerade.
'So apparently, you're definitely an idiot along with being a despicable human being.'
No, I'm not and you don't know anything about me personally, so quit with the assumptions.
Sorry, no, that's not correct. People do not stay in abusive relationships because of the 'highs and lows'. They stay because they're scared, and they don't know how to escape. Don't you dare trivialise such a traumatic experience.
These aren't assumptions, these are observations. You're clearly either delusional, mentally deficient, or just a shit human being. No other type of person would hold the views that you do.
Women have the power when it comes to sex but men can fight back by refusing to accept these terms.
If women want to give easy sex to all the guys who aren't relationship material and then expect the stable reliable guy to woo her and wait for the sex all the players got with zero effort, well that's her right.
However that guy isn't obligated to accept those terms, he's free to walk away and look for a different offer. I think more guys are waking up to this and refusing to just go along with what women expect.
'However that guy isn't obligated to accept those terms'
Basically, yeah. That's the point I'm trying to emphasise. Women can slut around all they want but don't expect the good guys to bend over and take it.
I agree with everything you said. The problem is that when the guy that is relationship material decides to leave because she is playing those games, he is often accused of only wanting sex, not really caring about the girl, or some other nonsense which is unfair to guys.
Didn't you write something from another mytake at each gender percieving something rare as special. Girls get sex offered often and therefore don't see it value. Mnen don't and therefore see more value in sex.
let's be honest. most men do not have the game to score. maybe if women weren't whoring themselves off to such a small minority of men they wouldn't be getting slut-shamed.
I don't think anyone should be called a slut. But men who score loads deserved to be praised. Many men can't get sex easily so those who do deserve their credit. I am in awe of those men that constantly get laid. Women don't get this and they don't stop to ask why human trafficking for sex is such massive business, or why prostitutes can demand more money for sex than a lawyer, or why pick up artists, some of them are worth millions from the guys buying their books. I'm more likely to make a million bucks than attract a girl I like. That's how hard it is for me.
Men are praised because sex doesn't come easy for men. So when a guy does it consistently he gets praised for having the skill/charm/ and looks to pull it off.
Girls have their own version to this. You guys praise one another when one of your get a high quality male to commit to you for a boyfriend/Husband.
I kind of think anyone is justified in not wanting monogamy if it's their personal preference. Just don't get involved with someone who wants a monogamous relationship. I only have issues with people not being monogamous when they're in a committed relationship and led someone into thinking that's the type of relationship they wanted and then changed their mind. That's more than just not wanting to be in a committed relationship, that's just being a jerk to someone.
As long as that goes both ways then I don't see the issue. As long as he keeps it in his pants then he has every right to have standards about the woman he wants as well.
@the_rake That's not entirely a true idea of all men. Recently, I've met a guy who was all about non committed relationships, and when we met, I honest with him about not having been with a lot if guys. So, sometimes, it's just a "because I can" type of attitude. :(
I'd rather work on the relationship outside of sex. The guy wouldn't really know me well enough to have sex in a month or two. I wouldn't know him either, so I'm not going to do something so intimate until we are well acquainted.
sure, because no good man that's maintained his integrity and virtue wants to head dive into a committed relationship with these girls that have been round the block and given him the backhanded compliment of being 'special' enough to wait for something she gave so freely and easily to every other shady wanker.
Agreed: it's not the player's fault for not wanting to be relegated to the sexually unsatisfied 80% of men. And these men have the right to demand standards regarding sexual virtue from their long-term partners. Because how many sexually inexperienced men are going to want to date these women that have slept around with the top 20% only? More to the point, how can they be expected to wait for sex in a relationship when the woman is not even that pure herself?
@kenkong yeah not all men battle. It's just a bitch when one guy has nothing ever and a guy like you (you look good btw) can attract several on a weekend. We all know this, a majority guys get all the women. Women think though that there is a girl for every guy and all that Disney shit. That's what grates me. What gets me more is that yeah I hate the game. So I pay for prostitutes. Easy, logically. But you still looked down upon. So it's damned if you don't damned if you do.
@the_rake So, I have a question for you. If I haven't been with a lot of men, even dated a lot of men, because I want to meet a nice guy, and the new person I am seeing chooses to flirt with other girls, and keep his options open, when we are supposed to be seeing each other, what exactly does that mean, in terms of men and women and the double standard account?
then that's a completely different situation from what I highlighted in the take: if I understood correctly, then you as an inexperienced woman are demanding that the player does not 'pump and dump'. When the good men pump and dump, it is usually because they too are inexperienced and not ready to be in a relationship with someone (more) experienced then themselves.
He's succeeded in making me doubt any sincere sounding comment he's made by flirting with other girls on facebook and making me always initiate, to address your other comment. I wish he was a good man, but his actions say otherwise. Even though he has his neighbors and friends singing his praises. :(
@the_rake Not trying to offend, but, I would love for you to tell him that. I believe that his repsonse would be an unending stream of laughter. He's just not the waiting type. Which is sad, because I would love to meet a guy that I could treat well.
@ArtDent Thank you. I keep hoping that he is someone that I believe he is, instead of the person I fear him to be. I don't want to get my heart smashed by him. But, I'm not one to give up either. :(
The only consequence for a guy manipulating a girl to get laid, is that he gets laid. Fuck the rules. Nice guys die with their ducks in their hands listening to "the rules"
I feel like if a woman reads this she'll just delete it from her memory & carry on. It's true but it goes against the social narratives that help them lock down potential providers.
yeah, but as long as there is a body of factual information for men to act on, eventually more men will be empowered to change things for the better - and those are the men that women can't keep on ignoring. that's the way I see it, anyway. wishful thinking, maybe.
I want to Know something, when you mention sex it means intercourse or can it Just be enough With some sexual stimulation like kissing or masturbating the other?
Also, we can't Also generalize as well, it is like saying That women are sluts if they have a lot of boyfriends, While Men are praised for having a lot of women.
Obviously sex is usually referred to in terms of full intercourse and that's the context in this discussion. But even with other forms of sexual contact, you could apply similar principles to the one described in the take. So short answer is: it doesn't matter what definition you use.
I focus on women because they have the sexual bargaining power. And being promiscuous is not necessarily bad: I talk about ethics of female sexual identity in a separate take and hyper gamous polygyny gets the most criticism. I can post a link if you want.
I understand That promiscuous is not bad, in both genders, it is Just That society puts it depending of What it wants to promote or sell.
And i understand That you want to defend your gender, i think. But in other words, in both genders one is responsable of their own actions, one has the right to decide what to do in life, and accept both good and bad things. Of course, one unfair thing is That the others judge and criticize your actions While it appears That they accept and even praise what others do even if it is against what one thinks and does.
To address your aside... The correct phrase is "eat your cake and have it too," not the other way around. It means once you eat it, it's gone and you no longer have cake... You pick one or the other, you can't have it both ways.
It's justified because many women are evil and will stab a guy in the back. For any guy who has been betrayed by a woman we know all too well that it's just too risky to stay with the same woman for long.
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Anonymous
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+1 y
Girls who wait just don't want you to pump and dump. Players don't want to wait around for sex.
The player gets instant success because the girl couldn't care less about him and doesn't want him in her life. Only a good fuck. That's obviously not the case with a boyfriend, so she's more cautious.
I will leave this woman every time believe me. It's just that the women NOT like this are pretty damn rare. A shining glimmer of hope at the end of a long urine reeking tunnel of hypergamous, polygynous women with double standards.
I hate that women wait to have sex when they are considering a guy for something serious. There's something really backwards and machiavellian about having casual sex with malignant personalities and making decent guys wait.
They say that women have power to instigate sex and men have the power to instigate committal. When a woman makes a guy wait for sex its her choice, she's repsected etc... Whe a guy doesn't commit to a woma he's a player/womaniser/*ick etc.. Double standards. Just set an ultimatum early on and if they decide to adhear to it then great. If not, move on, there's seemingly infinite women. People say if you care for someone you will wait. Well Im more inclined to care for someone who cares for me.
That's no double standard. You lack common sense. If a guy does not want to commit, there's likely a reason. If he's not ready for commitment, that does not make him any of those names. If he states that he's not ready but he's fucking around with other people, it shows that he's a dirty liar. If he simply states that he wants to play the field, again nothing wrong. Many people have common sense and understand this. I don't know why a bunch of you guys on GAG do not.
@RationalLioness the problem is its not as clear cut as a guy saying periodically whether he wants a relationship or a girl saying exactly when she's willing to have sex. You yourself said ambiguity in such pursuits or lack there of equate to being a dirty liar. When you're on a first date do you say to the person "I am willing to have sex after x amount of time" ?
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In other words, monogamy assumes that both parties will be adhering to traditional roles. And while women long ago neglected their traditional roles via the parasitic society-ender known as feminism, men are still held accountable to their traditional roles. So what this means in a marriage is that a man is still expected to work like a dog, remain faithful to his wife, and take care of his family while it is perfectly okay for his wife to be unfaithful, neglect her duties as a mother, deny him sex, and making monogamy miserable in all ways possible.
I've given it up fairly easily and early on in a relationship. Then he lost interest which makes me wonder if I should've made him wait.
If you don't put out fast enough, you get called stuck up and high maintenance.
If you put out early on, they call you a whore/slut and never respect you/use that excuse not to take you seriously.
'I've given it up fairly easily and early on in a relationship. Then he lost interest'
Don't give it to the wrong guys. Make the right choice next time.
I'm an idiot and fairly gullible. Can't see through a poker face
Develop better filter mechanisms.
How long did you make him wait? Each guy is different and wants something different, so it's hard to say you did anything wrong. I think what matters is you do what's comfortable for you.
"Nobody gets laid but models, celebs and rich guys"
Totally untrue, man. GAG is not the real world and average joes have plenty of sex - casual and committed. Generally with women in their range of looks, but they're out there getting it.
Players vs guys having sex are like gold diggers vs SAHM - it's the manipulation that's the problem.
Can you give me a single instance I specifically inferred that, or are you just putting words in my mouth.
"and average joes have plenty of sex - casual and committed. " I'm pretty sure you haven't banged single non-hot guy yet, maybe your hubby.
"... women are being promiscuous, especially favouring a small minority of high status males - celebrities, very attractive models, and wealthy, successful men. The majority of men outside this clique will by and large be inexperienced..."
Things in the real world are so different than GAG, which is basically a circle jerk of guys affirming each other's baseless manosphere opinions. Meeting some real people, working on their inner and outer traits and refusing to drink the poison would help a lot of guys actually achieve their goals rather than rage cumming in forums.
I do agree that it's good advice for guys to move on if the chick doesn't seem very interested after a few weeks. It's not your job to coax her to show her feelings and be upfront.
'especially favouring... The majority of men outside this clique '
That's not the same as saying '[n]obody gets laid but models, celebs and rich guys'. The argument is that by and large women are more hypergamous than men. It might not just be models, celebs and rich guys they're dating, but for the most part, they do date UP.
Rule of thumb.
'Things in the real world are so different than GAG'
Look on the internet outside GAG. There are entire communities of bitter, angry and misogynistic belonging to pick-up forums and sub-reddits like MGTOW and the Red Pill. They're like that for a reason. You just don't hear them voice their opinions much in real life because society tells them to 'suck it up'.
'it's good advice for guys to move on if the chick doesn't seem very interested after a few weeks'
Onto what? Another chick that does the exact same?
The Internet as a whole is different than the real world. If all I looked for was furry porn, I'd think most people humped in plushie suits. Like I said, I know tons of regular dudes who do fine. But instead, guys here get sucked into the dark world where they just validate each other and make each other more and more angry and depressed. Hence, circle jerk.
'guys here get sucked into the dark world where they just validate each other and make each other more and more angry and depressed. Hence, circle jerk.'
Some of these guys also have real life experience of self-improvement and attempting to meet/attract women. So these guys actually WILL have realistic experience of the situation that the dating world is in (hypergamous and polygynous female mating strategies).
A lot of times, these are dudes trying to rip off the others selling shit, too.
Wanna "smash sloots?" Get jacked and hit the clubs every night, bruh.
Wanna get to know someone and try a relationship? Take time getting to know them so you don't sink yourself in quicksand.
Want to alternate between these two? Go for it, but lying makes you a POS.
I'm actually agreeing with you that guys should do what they want. I only disagree that the 80/20 ratio is a thing so all guys should just give up cuz bitches.
'A lot of times, these are dudes trying to rip off the others selling shit, too. '
That's assuming all men sharing their experience (myself included) are claiming to be experts or trying to make money.
'Wanna "smash sloots?" Get jacked and hit the clubs every night, bruh.
Wanna get to know someone and try a relationship? Take time getting to know them so you don't sink yourself in quicksand.
Want to alternate between these two? Go for it, but lying makes you a POS.'
If you think there aren't plenty of guys out there investing in their self-improvement and trying different strategies but still failing, you'd be dead wrong. And it seems that men have to invest a lot MORE into self-improvement than women on the whole because, guess what...
'I only disagree that the 80/20 ratio is a thing'
80/20 is real.
'so all guys should just give up cuz bitches.'
I don't think guys should give up. It's just expected that they're going to need to let off some steam.
Also,
'lying makes you a POS'
Why? Women are extremely adept at getting the best of both worlds (long-term relationships with sexually inexperienced men that have to 'suck it up' and short-term flings with players that will probably be rejected in the long run). If a man tries to get this as well, why does it make him a piece of shit?
Doing it is fine, manipulation is always shitty. I'd say the same to a manipulative chick. Not to mention creates tons of drama that could be avoided.
Seems like nowadays, manipulation is a necessary evil for men not in the top 20%.
It's not that drastic, man. Do attractive, charming, interesting people have the most options? Yep. Do normal people have zero options. Nope.
'Do normal people have zero options.'
Depends if they're male or female.
Ok, dude. Keep your rage hot and your dick cold with that false belief you buy into.
'Keep your rage hot and your dick cold '
Maybe you shouldn't make so many assumptions. These 'false beliefs' let me see things the way they truly are.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a21819-real-life-examples-of-how-women-utterly-annihilate-men-in-the-sex
Bullshit that average joes get sex as much as women. Pls see this take/
I actually KNOW many normal guys in the real world who get sex. I didn't say as many possible options as women, but women have less interest in casual sex altogether. Guys get aroused & have orgasms much more easily, plus have far fewer risks involved, which run from a painful sexual experience to pregnancy to being murdered for women. It's comparing apples to oranges.
Frankly, I think a lot of guys online have below average social skills - many of them social anxiety. Which I feel for because I have a different form of anxiety. But it doesn't mean they're the norm. Guys on here look at a small sample size of men who frequent online forums (not a random slice of the population) & say "Yup, all dudes are like us." and then look at a small sample of good looking, charming women and think "All women are like them."
It makes you feel good to think "Bitches ruin my life." but it doesn't change anything. Like I said. I think you all get off more on your pity parties & rage trains.
@OpinionOwner
There's another possibility which is that men online in fact resemble a growing proportion of the male population that are increasingly bitter and cynical about dating but their views get shut down in real life so they turn to the internet instead.
Men are more free to express themselves on the internet, so in that way it's more real than the real world. Also, because of the internet, more men are comparing experiences.
People don't get online to talk with strangers about being happy and things working out, mostly they do to vent about being upset. That colors your perception of how things really are.
I've been sexually abused and sometimes talk online to others with similar experience... But to base my perception of the world on the experiences ONLY of others who were molested or raped would be a vast mistake. You can't get caught in the online world trap.
Women will never frown at a non committed relationship. We frown on men who feel they need to deceive in order to get that. No one likes to be played
They might not need to deceive you personally, but it is true that a lot of women do practice these double standards and are playing the men themselves like that.
You have to be careful when you use the word "never". I know several women that frown at guys that practice non committed relationships, even when the man is honest about what he is looking for.
@heavensgift2girls I know what mean, I'm a girl. What those girls are feeling is the disappointment of that guy not wanting a relationship.
Not the same thing.
A guy should be honest about his intentions even if it doesn't work out. Why? Because it's a crab shoot just like dating.. Eventually he will run into a gal with same intentions
You have to manipulate to get a girl. Casual or not. If I go up to a girl and tell her strait up I don't want something serious, she will think you a desperate creep. Why do you think guys play these games? Because it works...
Totally agree with this. Men very often lie and deceive to get sex, by holding out women can often weed out the shit.
@Unhappy_Sock
that's because most men have already realised that virtue doesn't get the lady. the 'make him wait' philosophy just weeds out the good men if not applied right.
that's why I have adapted it to 'Make the Player Wait, Reward the Good Man': www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24166-ethics-of-female-sexual-identity-make-the-player-wait-reward-the
The Make Him Wait is just common sense, get to know anyone a bit so you can see their true intentions. I think it extends to platonic relationships. You can't expect people to sleep with people they don't trust, and for many people it takes a while to trust enough to sleep with them. Not everyone is a dick and just holding out for the sake of exerting power.
While I agree with some of this (mostly that there a lot of double standards in dating), there are a couple of things I have issues with. Mainly, the idea that men are being 'strung along' if a woman wants to wait for sex. If you want sex immediately, and she doesn't, you have to decide whether you actually care about her enough to wait until she's comfortable, or if you should just leave her, because sex matters more to you than her comfort.
I'd also like to add that not all double standards are in favour of women. For example, it's acceptable for a man to have had many sexual partners, but unacceptable for a woman to have as many. There's also the issue of women being seen as crazy or high maintenance if they express their feelings or needs in a relationship, while it's seen as a good thing for men to open up about it.
I'm just saying, these things go both ways.
'If you want sex immediately, and she doesn't, you have to decide whether you actually care about her enough to wait until she's comfortable, or if you should just leave her, because sex matters more to you than her comfort.'
You've also got to factor into consideration whether or not there's likely to be a woman that will be reasonable about sex or not.
*another woman.
If not, then while it might not be worth the risk to leave this woman, it doesn't mean you've been treated very well.
Wanting to wait for sex is not unreasonable. It just doesn't coincide with what you want. That doesn't make anyone unreasonable.
If all you're looking for is sex, then yes, you'd both be better off if you left her. She would obviously be looking for something long term, and you either are not, or you require sex immediately in a relationship. Either way you would not be compatible.
basically, if she's demanding standards of virtue from her man that she does not have herself, then yes: it is very much unreasonable.
What? She's not demanding anything except that they wait to have sex. As in NEITHER of them have sex yet.
then if she's a virgin, that's acceptable
Uh, no. She's allowed to want to wait before involving sex in a relationship, regardless of her virgin status.
You're talking about double standards, and things being unfair to men, but that's just sheer hypocrisy if you're trying to tell women that they have to have sex with you whenever you want it, if they're not virgins.
I think this is actually a good example of a double standard. You assume that if a man doesn't conform to a woman's way of thinking and wait that he doesn't care about her, but the woman isn't expected to conform to the man's way of thinking when it comes to sex. Then you make assumptions about how the man must have felt about her. That is a very one sided way of looking at things. Often the guy just doesn't feel like the relationship is progressing, and moves on. It doesn't mean he never cared about her, or that sex was his only motive for being in a relationship with her. There are men and women that want relationships but aren't going to wait as long as their partner may want to wait for sex.
no, when a girl blowbangs 30 guys then demands a man that's withheld his integrity all his life has to commit, she is hypocritical and manipulative for doing so.
'you're trying to tell women that they have to have sex with you whenever you want it, if they're not virgins.'
Nope, I'm saying that they're not worthy of a committed relationship, especially not from a man that's virgin or inexperienced. If they wanted commitment from a man that was virgin or sexually inexperienced, they should have been a LOT more virtuous themselves.
@heavensgift2girls Actually no, that's not what I said. What I said was that if you want sex immediately, or before she wants it, then you would both be better off apart, because you would not be compatible. You have every right to want sex sooner rather than later, and she has every right to want to wait. If you don't want to wait, then don't be in the relationship. That's not a double standard, it's common sense.
Yes, that is a little hypocritical, but only if she's demanding he be a virgin. Wanting to wait for sex while in a commited relationship is not manipulative.
A man doesn't HAVE to commit. And if he doesn't want to, then he has plenty of other sexual options than the women who want a commitment before sex.
You may not want to commit to a woman if she is not a virgin (in which case, you are also a hypocrite unless you're a virgin too), and you don't have to. But this is the first time you've brought up women demanding a guy be inexperienced (which is only rarely going to happen anyway).
Like I said, you don't have to be in any relationship you don't want to be in, and a woman doesn't have to have sex with you before she's ready. You need to find women that you're more compatible with.
'Yes, that is a little hypocritical, but only if she's demanding he be a virgin.'
Yea, and I already conceded this to you. She's allowed to apply the 'make him wait' rule to a player or whatever. Sexually inexperienced guys need to take a dip in the ocean before they pick a beach. They probably don't want to choose a beach loads of seagulls have already shat on.
'women demanding a guy be inexperienced (which is only rarely going to happen anyway)'
I'm not talking about women demanding a relationship only with an inexperienced guy. I'm talking about women demanding inexperienced guys already in a relationship commit when they've already fucked and sucked about ten cocks, then assuming that he's going to be ok with the fact she's the only girl he's ever slept with ten or fifteen years down the line.
Basically, 'make the player wait; reward the good guy'.
That's his decision, not hers. If he doesn't want to only sleep with one woman, or is not ok with her history, then he needs to do something about it. No one can force anyone else to commit.
You're also assuming a lot about the woman's motives. She may have been mistreated, she may have grown up and decided she wanted something different, she may just want to make sure he likes her before she has sex with him.
For example, a woman may have had several partners in the past, but has since been assaulted/abused, and cannot trust a man without knowing him properly first.
A woman is allowed to ask a man to commit. A man is allowed to refuse to do so. There's nothing else to it.
'No one can force anyone else to commit. '
Not about forcing anyone. Just pointing out the hypocrisy involved and the moral judgement you will encounter from many many men which is actually quite justified and based on sound logic.
But most women don't want to hear about that because, hey - the truth hurts, and it's not such a nice thing to be a manipulative, promiscuous slag after all.
'a woman may have had several partners in the past, but has since been assaulted/abused, '
Maybe she should be more careful about who she chooses.
Well, you've just about shown that you're actually either trolling, or just being an idiot.
The hypocrisy you're pointing out does not exist. A woman can choose who to have sex with, and who not to have sex with, and who she wants a commitment from. A man can choose the same.
None of your arguments are logical or justified.
As for a woman 'choosing' wrong... well, that's just a moronic statement. No woman chooses someone she thinks is going to hurt her, and NO ONE chooses to be assaulted.
'A woman can choose who to have sex with, and who not to have sex with, and who she wants a commitment from.'
She can do what she wants, and I can pass judgement as I so freely desire because, hey - Libertarianism works! If you happen to be in the bottom 80% of men that are sexually unsatisfied because of hypergamous, polygynous practices, then tough titties.
Your not getting it. Girl fucks and sucks 10+ guys. Some of which she has 1 night stand and flings with. Relationship never progressive to marriage and she is now 26-27. She finds a "stable" good guy who she sees a relationships with. Some of guys she's fucked in the past she's given it up to that very night. Now she wants this poor sucker to wait for a month before he can get her in bed because she wants to make sure that he's not in it just for sex.
Strong logic and double standard there. Fling guys get sex shorter than guys who you want commitment. This is female version of men who sleep around with multiple girls but want a virgin/inexperience girl to wait for them at the end of the sexual escapade.
I never said you couldn't pass whatever judgement you like. You're entitled to your opinions, but that's all they are - opinions.
Your claims of hypocrisy, however, are simply false.
'No woman chooses someone she thinks is going to hurt her, and NO ONE chooses to be assaulted.'
Nope, they just happen to have terrible filters because guess what? All the feminist rhetoric about 'female intuition' aside - e. g. good guys don't get laid because women 'intuit' beyond their 'act' - women are actually pretty poor at choosing suitable men and that's how they wind up with men possessing sociopathic and manipulative traits. It's because of their total lack of morale or dignity. They get what they deserve.
'Your claims of hypocrisy, however, are simply false.'
They're not false. Either your sexually pure, in which case you're in a reasonable position to demand your partner be likewise, otherwise your NOT, in which case you have absolutely NO right to demand such a thing. The latter scenario is defined 'hypocritical' by conventional language - the way ordinary people use such language.
@KENKONG I am getting it. It's just stupid.
Look at it from another angle. Woman is young, has sex with a few guys, and grows up. Wants marriage, meets a guy she cares about. She wants to make sure he's the right one, without letting sex cloud the issue for either of them. She asks him to wait a short time. He has two options. a) Wait for a short time, commit to her, and have sex when both people are ready, or b) leave her and find someone he can have sex with earlier. That's is. It's simple. Both people get to decide what they do.
Fling guys usually get sex faster than guys who women want to commit, sure. Because a woman doesn't give a shit about a personal connection with a one night stand. Just like a man doesn't give a shit about the same thing. When it comes to a relationship, everyone wants that personal connection, and it becomes, for a time, more important tham jumping into bed right away.
Yep, you're an idiot. It's sort of amusing the way you're trying to use sophisticated language to disguise your lack of intelligent argument.
The simple fact that you think women get what they deserve when they're assaulted, shows why you're so bitter about this situation - no woman wants you, because you're a jackass.
Bloody hell, I hate repeating myself. YES, demanding any partner be a virgin when you are not is hypocritical, but that is NOT what this is about. A woman wanting to wait for sex is absolutely within her rights, regardless of her sexual history. Every partner and every situation is different. She's not forcing you to be abstinent. She's only saying she wants to wait for sex until she gets to know someone.
'Yep, you're an idiot... no woman wants you, because you're a jackass.'
Make whatever assumptions without knowing me that you want.
'no woman wants you, because you're a jackass.'
So what, women really do intuit all this character information then? Howcome they are so adept at avoiding jackasses but not brilliant when it comes to abusive relationships with sociopaths and assholes?
'YES, demanding any partner be a virgin when you are not is hypocritical'
Glad we're agreed then.
I can tell you're a jackass, because you apparently think that anyone deserves to be raped or abused. Which makes you either a moron, or a shit person.
Because, amazingly enough, sociopaths and abusers hide what they really are until it's too late. It's all too obvious that people like you are jackasses.
If women go out of their way to avoid the right kinds of men in favour of men with sociopathic tendencies then yes, what happens to them is what you would expect to happen.
'sociopaths and abusers hide what they really are until it's too late. It's all too obvious that people like you are jackasses.'
Yes, because female intuition is so damn great.
No one needs intuition to know that you're a dick.
I'd appreciate it if you did not personally insult me - I'm not any of the things you call me.
I'd appreciate it if you didn't insist that people deserve to be raped and abused. Which, by the way, makes you a dickhead. Guess I am right about you!
Well that's your faulty interpretation, nothing to do with me.
I'm a good man, not a dickhead.
Actually no, that's a direct observation from every single thing you've written. The worst part is that you don't realise how much of a shitty human being you are. You're one of those loser guys that are so damn bitter, that they decide that all women are bad and deserve bad things.
You're pathetic.
'don't realise' or am aware that you're wrong?
like I said, I'm a god man.
*good
Well let's look at what I said in context:
'women are actually pretty poor at choosing suitable men and that's how they wind up with men possessing sociopathic and manipulative traits. It's because of their total lack of morale or dignity. They get [the type of man] they deserve.'
I don't remember specifically saying that they deserve to get raped or assaulted. You're just putting words in my mouth - a machiavellian debating tactic.
in logical debating, it is referred to as 'the strawman'.
but yeah, there's good reasons that there are so many abusive relationships, and so many kids being born into such chaotic households growing up to be abusive, rapists, etc. themselves. *hint: it's the signals women are sending off to men about what kind of personal attributes they find sexually attractive*
No, see what you said was 'they get what they deserve'. Don't try to alter the meaning of it. Your statement meant, or implied at least, that women deserved whatever torment and trauma they got, because they picked the wrong man. Ignore that assault is often committed by a stranger, and that abuse is often committed by a family member.
You're a revolting human being, and one day, I hope you realise how truly disgusting you are.
In the context of choosing 'men possessing sociopathic and manipulative traits' they get the partner they deserve. Don't try to twist my words because it won't work.
'that women deserved whatever torment and trauma they got, because they picked the wrong man.'
if they were looking for men with those attributes, or they were too lazy to adjust their own values and develop better filter mechanisms, then yes, at the very least, they do take responsibility for what men they let into their life. they certainly don't have the moral high ground to turn around and say, "well, there just aren't any good men out there", when they are avoiding good men.
Say whatever you want because it's way off the mark.
See, that's not the way it works. No one chooses someone who is going to hurt them. People with those traits are incredibly good at hiding them, as I've already said.
You keep trying to justify yourself, and you keep ignoring major points that I've made, like assault is rarely someone you've 'let into your life'.
So apparently, you're definitely an idiot along with being a despicable human being.
' No one chooses someone who is going to hurt them. '
Let's be real - there's women out there who get off on the passion of men like this, and women that will put up with the abuse (emotionally OR physically) just because of the highs and lows in the relationship. No two ways about it.
The other kind of girl attracts men like this because of her own emotional securities. But she definitely has ethical responsibility to improve her character.
The only time, I would say the girl is totally faultless is when the man really is a true genius at the masquerade.
'So apparently, you're definitely an idiot along with being a despicable human being.'
No, I'm not and you don't know anything about me personally, so quit with the assumptions.
Sorry, no, that's not correct. People do not stay in abusive relationships because of the 'highs and lows'. They stay because they're scared, and they don't know how to escape. Don't you dare trivialise such a traumatic experience.
These aren't assumptions, these are observations. You're clearly either delusional, mentally deficient, or just a shit human being. No other type of person would hold the views that you do.
'People do not stay in abusive relationships because of the 'highs and lows'. They stay because they're scared, and they don't know how to escape.'
I did not say all women, merely that there ARE women out there with masochistic tendencies.
Women have the power when it comes to sex but men can fight back by refusing to accept these terms.
If women want to give easy sex to all the guys who aren't relationship material and then expect the stable reliable guy to woo her and wait for the sex all the players got with zero effort, well that's her right.
However that guy isn't obligated to accept those terms, he's free to walk away and look for a different offer. I think more guys are waking up to this and refusing to just go along with what women expect.
'However that guy isn't obligated to accept those terms'
Basically, yeah. That's the point I'm trying to emphasise. Women can slut around all they want but don't expect the good guys to bend over and take it.
I agree with everything you said. The problem is that when the guy that is relationship material decides to leave because she is playing those games, he is often accused of only wanting sex, not really caring about the girl, or some other nonsense which is unfair to guys.
@heavensgift2girls
I dont think girls care what guys want, they want a guy who will sacrifice his feelings and desires in order to make her happy.
Didn't you write something from another mytake at each gender percieving something rare as special. Girls get sex offered often and therefore don't see it value. Mnen don't and therefore see more value in sex.
@KENKONG
Yeah, something like that.
Actually the double standard is against women where we're deemed as sluts while men are praised for having game to score
let's be honest. most men do not have the game to score. maybe if women weren't whoring themselves off to such a small minority of men they wouldn't be getting slut-shamed.
I don't think anyone should be called a slut. But men who score loads deserved to be praised. Many men can't get sex easily so those who do deserve their credit. I am in awe of those men that constantly get laid. Women don't get this and they don't stop to ask why human trafficking for sex is such massive business, or why prostitutes can demand more money for sex than a lawyer, or why pick up artists, some of them are worth millions from the guys buying their books. I'm more likely to make a million bucks than attract a girl I like. That's how hard it is for me.
Men are praised because sex doesn't come easy for men. So when a guy does it consistently he gets praised for having the skill/charm/ and looks to pull it off.
Girls have their own version to this. You guys praise one another when one of your get a high quality male to commit to you for a boyfriend/Husband.
I kind of think anyone is justified in not wanting monogamy if it's their personal preference. Just don't get involved with someone who wants a monogamous relationship. I only have issues with people not being monogamous when they're in a committed relationship and led someone into thinking that's the type of relationship they wanted and then changed their mind. That's more than just not wanting to be in a committed relationship, that's just being a jerk to someone.
more men would probably be willing to settle into monogamous relationships if the woman hadn't already been around the block a few times.
As long as that goes both ways then I don't see the issue. As long as he keeps it in his pants then he has every right to have standards about the woman he wants as well.
Also some men do like promiscuous women lol
'As long as he keeps it in his pants then he has every right to have standards about the woman he wants as well.'
Sure, that's fair.
'Also some men do like promiscuous women lol'
As long as they are happy with the arrangement, that's fine.
@the_rake That's not entirely a true idea of all men. Recently, I've met a guy who was all about non committed relationships, and when we met, I honest with him about not having been with a lot if guys. So, sometimes, it's just a "because I can" type of attitude. :(
@shortandsweet24
Right, so that was a different case scenario where there were no double standards being imposed - assuming this guy was a successful player.
I'd rather work on the relationship outside of sex. The guy wouldn't really know me well enough to have sex in a month or two. I wouldn't know him either, so I'm not going to do something so intimate until we are well acquainted.
yeah, lots of women have this idea that sex is something significantly more elegant and special than a thrusting of certain body parts.
And you make that seem like a problem.
sure, because no good man that's maintained his integrity and virtue wants to head dive into a committed relationship with these girls that have been round the block and given him the backhanded compliment of being 'special' enough to wait for something she gave so freely and easily to every other shady wanker.
I'm so glad I don't have to put up wit guys lol
many guys probably feel the same way about you.
I'm sure, but the only one that matters wants to keep me for the rest of his life, soooo point not taken :)
congratulations on trapping him
Thank you :)
not really a compliment but whatever floats your boat, girl with lighter on her tongue.
Okay :)
:) :)
My fiancée and I are both virgins, and neither of us have any regrets about getting married and having only one partner for life.
Don't hate the player hate the game. If women want to give guys like me free pussy all the more to them.
Agreed: it's not the player's fault for not wanting to be relegated to the sexually unsatisfied 80% of men. And these men have the right to demand standards regarding sexual virtue from their long-term partners. Because how many sexually inexperienced men are going to want to date these women that have slept around with the top 20% only? More to the point, how can they be expected to wait for sex in a relationship when the woman is not even that pure herself?
@kenkong yeah not all men battle. It's just a bitch when one guy has nothing ever and a guy like you (you look good btw) can attract several on a weekend. We all know this, a majority guys get all the women. Women think though that there is a girl for every guy and all that Disney shit. That's what grates me. What gets me more is that yeah I hate the game. So I pay for prostitutes. Easy, logically. But you still looked down upon. So it's damned if you don't damned if you do.
@the_rake So, I have a question for you. If I haven't been with a lot of men, even dated a lot of men, because I want to meet a nice guy, and the new person I am seeing chooses to flirt with other girls, and keep his options open, when we are supposed to be seeing each other, what exactly does that mean, in terms of men and women and the double standard account?
then that's a completely different situation from what I highlighted in the take: if I understood correctly, then you as an inexperienced woman are demanding that the player does not 'pump and dump'. When the good men pump and dump, it is usually because they too are inexperienced and not ready to be in a relationship with someone (more) experienced then themselves.
He's succeeded in making me doubt any sincere sounding comment he's made by flirting with other girls on facebook and making me always initiate, to address your other comment. I wish he was a good man, but his actions say otherwise. Even though he has his neighbors and friends singing his praises. :(
ok, so if this guy is actually a well-endowed player, he needs to wait.
@the_rake Not trying to offend, but, I would love for you to tell him that. I believe that his repsonse would be an unending stream of laughter. He's just not the waiting type. Which is sad, because I would love to meet a guy that I could treat well.
Ok, well if it's not working for you then the advice women give to men applies here: 'next'.
You appear to be hung up on a player, which is exactly what the author of this take is talking about
@ArtDent That's the weird part. He only acts like a player part of the time. That's why I was so lost.
If a man has honorable intentions, then he wants to spend a sizable chunk of his free time with you, you should be his favorite person and he yours.
A person who likes you, the generic you, male or female, will make excuses to see you, not to avoid seeing you.
You seem really nice, it would be a shame if you let some asshole take that away from you.
@ArtDent Thank you. I keep hoping that he is someone that I believe he is, instead of the person I fear him to be. I don't want to get my heart smashed by him. But, I'm not one to give up either. :(
Okay, you're welcome. Good luck.
@ArtDent Thanks. He gets back Friday. I may need it. :P
The only consequence for a guy manipulating a girl to get laid, is that he gets laid. Fuck the rules. Nice guys die with their ducks in their hands listening to "the rules"
Amen.
I feel like if a woman reads this she'll just delete it from her memory & carry on.
It's true but it goes against the social narratives that help them lock down potential providers.
yeah, but as long as there is a body of factual information for men to act on, eventually more men will be empowered to change things for the better - and those are the men that women can't keep on ignoring. that's the way I see it, anyway. wishful thinking, maybe.
I want to Know something, when you mention sex it means intercourse or can it Just be enough With some sexual stimulation like kissing or masturbating the other?
Also, we can't Also generalize as well, it is like saying That women are sluts if they have a lot of boyfriends, While Men are praised for having a lot of women.
There are
Good question.
Obviously sex is usually referred to in terms of full intercourse and that's the context in this discussion. But even with other forms of sexual contact, you could apply similar principles to the one described in the take. So short answer is: it doesn't matter what definition you use.
I focus on women because they have the sexual bargaining power. And being promiscuous is not necessarily bad: I talk about ethics of female sexual identity in a separate take and hyper gamous polygyny gets the most criticism. I can post a link if you want.
I understand That promiscuous is not bad, in both genders, it is Just That society puts it depending of What it wants to promote or sell.
And i understand That you want to defend your gender, i think. But in other words, in both genders one is responsable of their own actions, one has the right to decide what to do in life, and accept both good and bad things. Of course, one unfair thing is That the others judge and criticize your actions While it appears That they accept and even praise what others do even if it is against what one thinks and does.
'I understand That promiscuous is not bad, in both genders, it is Just That society puts it depending'
Right. Hypergamy is the real enemy here. It's just that it's difficult to talk about hypergamy without relating it to promiscuity in some way.
' in both genders one is responsable of their own actions,'
Correct, but women have the most sexual power in dating, this is why I focus on their behaviour.
'one has the right to decide what to do in life, and accept both good and bad things'
Correct, but one is also free to explain the consequences of another's actions. Furthermore, one is free to pass judgement of another's behaviour.
To address your aside... The correct phrase is "eat your cake and have it too," not the other way around. It means once you eat it, it's gone and you no longer have cake... You pick one or the other, you can't have it both ways.
yeah, I know. I just like to pick apart the expression when it doesn't suit me.
It's justified because many women are evil and will stab a guy in the back. For any guy who has been betrayed by a woman we know all too well that it's just too risky to stay with the same woman for long.
Girls who wait just don't want you to pump and dump. Players don't want to wait around for sex.
So, it doesn't make sense then that they make the right kind of guy wait while for the players it's instant success, *BOOM*.
The player gets instant success because the girl couldn't care less about him and doesn't want him in her life. Only a good fuck. That's obviously not the case with a boyfriend, so she's more cautious.
right, but maybe the 'boyfriend' isn't interested in committing to a woman that's not quite as virtuous as it seems she would like HIM to be.
Then why are you crying about it? If she doesn't meet your standards, fucking leave. Nobody is forcing you?
I will leave this woman every time believe me. It's just that the women NOT like this are pretty damn rare. A shining glimmer of hope at the end of a long urine reeking tunnel of hypergamous, polygynous women with double standards.
You're being over dramatic.
or just seeing things the way they are.
No. Seriously. Over dramatic.
The situation is dramatic in many ways.
I hate that women wait to have sex when they are considering a guy for something serious. There's something really backwards and machiavellian about having casual sex with malignant personalities and making decent guys wait.
yea, basically this is the root of my argument. though women may or may not realise it, most of them are in fact more attracted to sociopathic traits.
but ignorance is not an excuse for their negligent behaviour.
They say that women have power to instigate sex and men have the power to instigate committal. When a woman makes a guy wait for sex its her choice, she's repsected etc... Whe a guy doesn't commit to a woma he's a player/womaniser/*ick etc.. Double standards. Just set an ultimatum early on and if they decide to adhear to it then great. If not, move on, there's seemingly infinite women. People say if you care for someone you will wait. Well Im more inclined to care for someone who cares for me.
' If not, move on, there's seemingly infinite women. '
This is true but a significant number are the way I describe in the article.
That's no double standard. You lack common sense. If a guy does not want to commit, there's likely a reason. If he's not ready for commitment, that does not make him any of those names. If he states that he's not ready but he's fucking around with other people, it shows that he's a dirty liar. If he simply states that he wants to play the field, again nothing wrong. Many people have common sense and understand this. I don't know why a bunch of you guys on GAG do not.
@RationalLioness the problem is its not as clear cut as a guy saying periodically whether he wants a relationship or a girl saying exactly when she's willing to have sex. You yourself said ambiguity in such pursuits or lack there of equate to being a dirty liar. When you're on a first date do you say to the person "I am willing to have sex after x amount of time" ?