Why You Never Accept The Friend Zone

NEVER ACCEPT THE FRIEND ZONE

Why You Never Accept The Friend Zone

So you met this hot girl and made your moves and she decided to friendzone you.

You are thinking about and it and now wondering why. "Am I not good enough for her" You think that you will eventually become close friends with her and then finally get the chance to hook up with her? NOPE.

If you offered a romantic interest in her and she rejected then that means she is letting you know that she is not sexually attracted to you. By you accepting these terms of being friends and friends only you have created a dynamic in the relationship. You are prostituting your feelings and doing yourself a disservice. You are disrespecting yourself and your feelings. You are acting like a beta male.

If she friend zoned you.. the best thing you can do is throw your cards on the tables and make it clear that is what you want and nothing less. If she rejects you then you respectfully go no contact. You need to stick by what you do here. If you go back then you are just another fuckboy in her book. She might just come back after a while... (it's happened to me before). But again.. you need to stick to what you say and be a man about it. Don't go on a rampage and try and make her jealous and interested in you with subtle little moves. Girls easily notice these things. Just man up and walk away..disappear. The strongest negotiating position in a relationship is the ability to walk away and mean it.

You need to let her know and make it clear that you are not interested in just being friends. If you accept this invitation as friends she will lose even more attraction towards you and eventually resent you. She will not respect you because you are not respecting yourself.

By doing the above you are acting like a man that is worthy of value. You had the balls to approach this woman and throw all your cards on the table. She rejected you but you still had the balls which makes you more attractive than the timid guy who keeps to himself. Then after she rejected you walked away with pride and shrugged it off like nothing. You respected yourself and knew your value and clearly displayed that you have value to her by your actions.

I guarantee you that she will respect you for this and might just hit you up when you least expect it. She might just think wow this guy must have 10 others girls to go to if he just dropped me like that. Now you have switched the dynamic on her. See how that works?

It's not the end of the world guys. Why waste your time and constantly get your ego crushed by a girl who doesn't want you when there are so many other beautiful women out there? You can have so much more fun in a relationship when the women is attracted to you and all over you. Some of the most attractive people get friend zoned.. don't take it personal. Be a champ at taking rejection. Be willing to take the hits. We are all going to make it bros!

Don't be this guy.

Why You Never Accept The Friend Zone
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I just got "dumped" last night by a guy I friend zoned months ago. I'm not sure what delusional life he's been living this whole time. I've had to remind him every week that we are friends. He actually could have had a chance, but he got drunk one night, lost his temper, and implied that I was a whore for not sleeping with him and not being interested in him. I have not been able to respect him or look at him at all that way since he did that.

    The correct reaction would have been to just be a real friend and either we'd like each other or not. Instead, he got very manipulating, pushed me too hard, and tried to be someone he wasn't to win me. then, he expected me to fall all over him for it in spite of his nasty temper towards me. No self respecting woman puts up with that. Men are not entitled to anything from us.

    Most people want to end up with someone they can respect. Someone that shows good traits and good friendship over time. That's the basis for a solid relationship. If I'm truly not interested in a guy, he won't even make it to the friend zone. It's an automatic DENIED. Friend zone is like the probationary zone where I decide whether you're just a friend or if you'll evolve out of it whether through reaching maturity or wowing me with how considerate you are.

    I really and truly was falling head over heels for this guy, I love him very much as a friend already and was developing romantic feeling based on how considerate he seemed, but he killed his chances before he even let anything happen. Not the traits of a serious long term relationship prospect.

    Any man willing to toss a woman for lack of sex seriously lacks the ability to value woman as people. I agree with another commentator, if you need to take a break to let the feelings die off in order to appreciate the friendship then do so. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. It only says a lot of negative things about you as a person.

    Be open, communicate, back off when you need to, and enjoy life!

    • Only works for some. the rest only gonna reignite feelings again after a while and they gonna be much stronger deeper and mess that person up, also gonna be torture.

    • So much entitlement hurts my soul.

    • If you were falling in love with him then why did you put him in the friendzone? I mean do you hear yourself, if a guy is lucky he makes it to the friendzone as a probationary period? It sounds like you have a lot of expectations and from what you have said I'm guessing this guy got very frustrated because he didn't know if he was your friend, boyfriend or what. I also have to wonder if you were lording the prospect of having sex over him as a sort of carrot that got him to do what you wanted. You sound very manipulative and I have to say you got what you deserved. It's pretty obvious you are on here ranting because your ego is shattered since he dumped you.

  • Okay, legitimately, if a guy refuses to continue to be friends after being "friend zoned", all that tells me is that he doesn't actually value me for who I am, but rather was only spending time with me for the hope of getting with me. It literally just makes me completely dismiss him as a person. So I'm sorry, but this brilliant plan of yours really ain't so brilliant at all.

    • What if they go completely cold shoulder on you and purposely avoid you, even though you can handle the rejection and still want to be friends (like didn't affect anything)., but the other person doesn't even wanna do that, what do you do, so they like you?

    • @moose2coolvargas: I let them drop me. Anyone who acts like that obviously doesn't value me for anything but my potential as a romantic partner, and that's not something I want in a friend or partner.

    • eh I don't know he wanted you to like him back you want him to sit and pretend everythings ok when your boyfriend comes over and kisses you in front of him I don't know what was the old saying girls and boys are from different planets?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Das it mane. I see the predator women have already found their way here to call you an asshole for suggesting that men figure out what they want and never make a compromise (and I mean really, how dare you open people's eyes to their own self worth?). Good to see less beta male orbiters giving out man advice on here, now hopefully people actually read and consider what you've said.

    Men, listen to the OP; You don't owe a girl friendship if you personally don't want it. Sure, they'll feed you bullshit lines about how you're a player and how you don't care about them on a personal level, but that's all just shit test garbage.

    https://i.imgur.com/2W2cmtC.gif

  • I don't really agree with this way of going about things.
    You can be friends with someone you're romantically interested in, even if they aren't romantically interested in you.

    You would seem like a bit of a dick if the moment someone rejected you you just said fuck it and abandoned them.

    I don't quite get what you mean by Prostituting your Feelings though. And I don't see how it's demening

    • this guy gets it ^ Men friend zone themselves by investing excessive time and energy in a friendship with a woman who doesn't seem to be romanticly interested in them at the outset. The alternative to this isn't never speaking to a woman again, the alternative is to remain friendly and still on her radar but you continue to date and pursue other women. I have gotten involved with guy friends who I had zero attraction to on first meeting them, but I came to find them attractive after I got to know them better. A key part of this, is these guy friends didn't behave like pseudo boyfriend doormats. They got on with their lives, went on dates with other women, but continued to chat with me every so often and hung out with me one on one only very occasionally. They'd also throw in ocasional flirty comments, which let me know that while they were happy with friends they would be interested in more.

    • @abacaxi84 I was only friend zoned once when I was 16. A friend's older brother told me to tell her, "Look, I want more than friendship, you won't give more. So, I'll be on about my business. Call me if you change your mind. I'm not letting you talk about other guys, or be a sounding board", I walked away. Three hours later, she calls me and wants to go to a movie. I said, "Ok, but you will date me romantically or forget about it". We dated for a year. Then we just drifted apart.

    • Dude, you're a male feminist. . . You're probably an "Ally" to feminism before yourself. Why should I be friends with a woman I want to date? For starters, she isn't going to respect me and it's going to hurt when I see her start dating other guys. I am NOT putting myself through that. It's not a dick move to want to keep one's own emotions in check. Women don't owe men sex (as they never stop telling us.) So let THIS sink in: We don't owe them friendships, relationships or attention. If they can't deal with that? If they want to convince themselves and their orbiters otherwise? Well, that's on them.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • A person who can't handle that kind of rejection is a weak person who shouldn't even be dating at all. Most girls aren't comfortable with dating strangers dummies! We need to know what you are about and what you're into. If you have nothing in common and we can't handle or stand the real your romantically WHY should we date you! We'll just god forbid cheat or dump you anyway if we see it isn't going to work anyway. It's not fair on anybody to date based on your personal feelings ALONE. What you saying is what left me heartbroken for over 15 years of my life and never dated. Fickle men like you are SCARY as hell. No girl deserves that hurt and your selfish. Don't be an ass. Common sense says NOT to attempt dating somebody based on looks. That's your problem. Don't blame other people because you don't know what the hell to do. At that point, you made her in the right to reject you and she will never look at you in that way.

    • So why don't YOU ask a guy out and see what we deal with on a daily basis before judging? If you can. . . (You won't. . .)

    • @PerAsparaAdAstra I don't because 1. I am Celibate 2. I have no interest in dating anymore. 3. I would only date somebody I am friends with IF I wasn't celibate anymore. 4. I would not ask somebody out if the feelings aren't mutual. 5. I don't want to ask somebody I don't see a future with leading to marriage and a long life with.

    • And my reasons to ask somebody out is not the same reasons men ask me out.

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  • The problem is when there are actually not a lot of good women out there. There will always be a lot of plain Janes, but I don't want that to be my experience in my one life. I want someone I have passion for, not someone that makes a relationship feel like a shitty day job that you do just to pay bills. I want to beat my circumstances, I want to rip myself free of my old story. I don't want to be the kind of person who has to just slump his shoulders resign himself to taking what life gives him, fuck that shit - I want to be the kind of guy who gets the girl he wants. I absolutely hate the thought of limping through life having to settle for less with some plain Jane that makes me feel zero passion, or by myself. I want to enjoy my life fully.

    Problem is, I've been friendzoned, hard. I had the shit luck of meeting the best girls I'm going to meet way before I was ready. I have interests but never been confident or gone for much of anything because all my life I've never felt talented or gifted, I felt like I was stuck being average. I've been trying to find my mistake areas, but I don't know if fixing those mistakes are enough. What do you think I could do to maximize my chances of one of these girls realizing she was wrong to write me off as "just a friend", and come back?

    • I met all the best girls before I was ready too. Sucks.

    • @tyber1 yeah, it does suck royally. The problem is all I have is a bunch of questions and no answers. Is a lifelong lack of confidence the reason? Is it because I've never been gifted, or at least never felt that way? Is it because I'm not doing enough with my life? Is it because my looks aren't enough? Is it really because I was never aggressive and competitive, never wanted to be a bully? Should I have been an asshole growing up, even though it never felt right, because that's just what women like? Does it really take getting in trouble, committing crimes, doing drugs? Does it take being shallow to get women, and not niceness? Do I have to become everything I know better than to do and everything I hate, just to make this friendzoning end? I wish I had just one concrete answer instead of only guesses. I'm really angry about this shit, because I feel like I've fucked up with girls that I really should have been able to connect with. I hate the friendzone so much.

    • I just keep going by telling myself that people have, in fact, gotten out of the bastard friend zone. If the friendzone is a judgment on you for making a bad impression of yourself, then it makes sense that you can get out if you can prove that the girl's impression of you was wrong and that there's more to you than that. I'm trying to get out by cutting contact, working on myself, and coming back later. Hopefully I can show one of them at least, that I'm a different, better person and there was more to me than what those girls thought they knew. People have gotten out.

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  • I think it's also true that you should leave even if you do want to be friends with her (or him, as i think this applies to all genders), because otherwise it'll just be painful for you.
    Stop seeing that person until you're over them, if they're a decent friend they'll understand, and only go back to being friends with them when you're over them.

  • When you get out of the friendzone, it's a tearful moment: i66.fastpic.ru/.../...7ba43d62dc564c896eebe1d7.jpg

  • This is true. My respect for a guy will double if he actually has the balls and self-confidence to just ask me out. None of this beating around the bush and trying to pussy out, just have the balls to come out and ask for what you want. Those guys are hot. And yes, our opinions can change about a guy. If I had a guy categorized as a 'maybe,' he can get to be a yes by asking me out, getting rejected, and then moving on to date another girl. That shows that he has self-worth and the balls to put himself out there again.

    Girls don't want losers who can't get girls, we want winners who are wanted by other girls.

    • Are you asking them out on a date?

    • @Crespo1 what?

    • Exactly. What you described is the difference between an alpha and beta male. Women prefer confidence, status, and charisma over looks and nice guy persona. Take charge and be man, take what you desire.

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  • I've "friendzoned" quite a few guys myself. It's up to them if they want to remain friends but i made it clear to them that i wasn't intrested in them in a romantic way some were super butthurt and acted aggressively and creepy while others became genuine friends. I set up a few guys I friendzoned with other women and it worked out well for a few of them.
    I really don't like guys pursuing me when I'm in a relationship espicially as all they are really after sex.

  • I see the point you are trying to make and it's decent. The second you said anything about "beta male behavior" or being friends is not respecting yourself I lost you. Women are people not these things you have to manipulate into liking you. If a girl doesn't like you but wants to be friends you can try. If she just uses you or you can't deal with liking her and always wish you were together then don't be friends. If you actually enjoy her company and want the best for her then it's perfectly ok to be friends. If you can't move when talking to her and you keep trying to get her to like you walk away. If she rejects you move on romantically. Look for a new person to date but remaining friends during that time is fine as long as you've moved on. Now if you are focusing on this girl and just being friends to sleep with her or get her to like you then you aren't really friends and you're probably an asshole. Respecting someone's choice but still enjoying their company shows maturity. It's not about getting the upper hand or "changing dynamic" it's about finding someone who want the same thing as you. The beta male comment set the tone.

    • Beta and Alpha tendencies do exist whether you want to believe it or not. You are acting weak if you settle for less than what you want. You are prostituting your feelings. Once a romantic interest is communicated it doesn't just go away. Instead of lingering around in sorrow hoping she might choose you one day I choose to cut my losses and move onto a woman who appreciates my romantic interest. It's a lost cause to sit there and stay friends. What happens when she gets feelings for another guy and you are her friend. It's just detrimental in every way. I'll never be an emotional tampon for a woman that I once had feelings for. Because that is exactly what will happen. I've lived it man. I have a lot of experience in this.

    • @tony72722 is 6'1 200 and can do more physical tasks than normal human being and have good social game. Thats idealish = "alphaish"

    • It really depends on whether or not you truly become friends after. If you are still pining for her and can't move on then you can't be friends. I've had crushes on girls and remained friends I actually have a lot of female friends because I have more in common and think similarly to them. The alpha male ideas are just good on paper and is why most 20 year old girls pursue that type of guy then complain when things don't work out. Truth is the only trait in society that counts Now is confidence and determination. These are the things that people lack of they can't find a relationship. This is also accomplished in many different ways. I'm neither an alpha or beta or whatever I'm just me. I'm going to get the things I can attain but when dating I'm not going to date people who don't like me. That's a huge turn off for me. A girl can be a ten but if she doesn't want to be with me but will for xyz traits I'm not for her. Alpha male ideas are for guys trying to get laid not relationship.

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  • I wouldn't mind being friends with someone who rejected me. I really don't see the problem with it, especially if you were friends for a while before feelings kicked in.

    I do believe guys (or girls) should go no contact for a while to get over the other person otherwise it's painful, and destructive (destructive to both yourself and the friendship). I would advise a guy (or girl) to leave for good if the one who rejected them wasn't a true friend but just using them because of knowing the rejected one's feelings. I say this because if your "friend" is using or manipulating you because they know you like them then they aren't a true friend and they are a shitty person.

  • The friend zone doesn't exist. "The Friend Zone is a psychological place in which you put yourself when you behave like a friend with the person you like, because you don't have the courage to behave otherwise."

  • Sometimes when you continue being friends with her, she might come to you if she's got no one else or she suddenly sees you for the guy you are. If a guy did that with me, walked away, he would just seem like an arrogant jerk, and I would never ever contact a guy like that again. What you said was right that yeah it gives off bad boy vibe and all but you don't need to be a prick about it. When you agree to be friends, you don't have to be attached at the hip, it is just an understanding. You could just be the friends that text each to wish happy holidays, that is also moving on but it makes look like a respectful person not an idiot.
    What you said is a hit or miss, she might run after you or she might dislike you even more. I think better is to continue being friends with her but not initiating any interest until she does and suggest that you go out with a lot of girls.

    • as much as i would like to believe you and he seems like a jerk saying all that but he is 100% right ( from experience ) girls respond best to not giving them attention and being an ass about it , a nice ass that they feel the can approach later but an ass nonethless , dont wish her a thing dont act like she matters once she says lets be friends tell her well... or okay or whatever and just walk away without making any contact with her , after a while she will start falling with you , girls are weird like that but can't do a thing about it , we have to play their game.

    • @CoolSky01 But if you break off contact with her you don't get anything how will she contact you? Only if you remain friends she can approach you. Acting like an asshole is not a sure shot way of getting it on with a girl. You can be polite AND firm. You don't need to be besties with her but better is to remain in brief touch with her.

    • yes firm , being firm is what he is saying dont be a complete ass but once you have something in your mind just aim for it and dont let the girl be your friend on her terms

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  • If a man can't take no for an answer, I want him out of my life.

    Also I will let police know, never be by myself, and always have my gun and stun gun with me. Plus I'm a healthcare provider, in my state assault against a healthcare provider is a felony, and is considered equal to assaulting a police officer. Fuck this take.

    • yeah I think you need to re read the article. All the OP was trying to say is that it is not in the interest of a guy to be friend zoned and that he is better off moving on. Nobody said anything about pursuing a woman who is not interested. You seem awfully anxious to do harm to a man ie call the police on him, stun him shoot him. you are scary

    • @Carmine2112 is it a bad thing to only be friends with a woman? I'm scary? Good.

    • Actually with that opinion reply to that post do you strike as someone that chould be on the police watch list to make society unsafe with weapons that should be banned from owning weapons and get court order to take CBT.

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  • This is a load of crap. It’s just shallow and entitled. If someone were to do this to me then I’d feel that they never really wanted a romance, they just wanted a score. And I’m not interested in being a prize.

    • Why would you think they just wanted to score if they aren't sticking around? It's like. . . . Are you REALLY that self-centered? Did you ever even consider the feelings of the guy? How painful it would be for him to see you with somebody else? Don't you think THAT is why he left? Or maybe when in "friendship" mode everything was on your terms and you didn't respect him. . . Where does this score b/s come from?

  • I agree. You only have so much time, money, and resources. You shouldn't waste them on someone that "just wants to be friends".

    If one person is romantically interested and the other only wants to be friends, its an uneven relationship. You are easy to take advantage of by her.

  • Because when they friendzone you and say we'll still be great friends, they never contact you again and then find out they liked another guy for the 3 months you spent courting her and just strung you along the whole time. True story. The end.

    • Bro I'm sad now lol.

    • Well this happened to me. This chick and I had really personal convos, msgs flowing everyday, good morning, good night texts, sending each other pics of us etc. Then after bluntly asking her a 2nd time if she liked me and her saying no, 2 days later she updates her fb status to in a relationship. Yeah I was mad, took a month to get over that. haven't found anyone since either. That was probably 4 or 5 months ago.

    • You're good man just read the last part I put. "Some of the most attractive people get friend zoned.. don't take it personal. Be a champ at taking rejection. Be willing to take the hits. We are all going to make it bros!"

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  • if someone doesn't notice u and crave to be with u then its probably isn't love but if u still really attracted or intrested after then its probably bc u want to be arround that person u like their vibes and to have great connections and conversations so its good to be friendzones bc thats obviously not love but the attraction maybe a soul connection that u can enjoy once being close friends

  • I have but still

  • This is so true. It should apply for everyone, not just guys. Don't be afraid to make your intentions clear. If you don't then you'll always wonder what would have happened if you did. Make yourself clear and if they don't want you walk away. Show them you won't accept just whatever they do. You deserve to be happy. If you accept whatever they do then you don't respect yourself enough. Then why should they respect you? Why should they love you when you don't love yourself?

    Yes, attractive people get friendzoned/ used as plan B too. It's not always the looks that make someone reject you or not make you their priority. There can be many other things.

    • Finally, a sane take from a smart young lady. thank you! The friendzone is not good for anyone. Nobody is obligated to return someone's romantic feelings just like nobody whose romantic feelings aren't returned is obligated to give that person friendship.

  • I'm not accepting the friend zone because I would hate to see you date another person in front of me. It would just piss me off!

    • Welcome to young men's world.

    • You just won something! Empathy!!!

  • Awesome take! :)

  • Eh, I actually wanted to post a question about this. Recently 2 guys approached me but I wasn t attracted to them. They were fun to hang with and all and I wish we ended up friends.
    I got upset when they cut all contact with me when I refused to date them :(
    Why always go to extremes, ain t nothing disrespectful in staying friends. It sounds a bit bitter honestly. Especially when they used to contact me everyday and then op not a single word. So it s like if you don t get what you want you just cut me off? but we had good times together and builded a sort of friendship :(

    • Well it might sound bitter but it's kind of just how I put it. You are prostituting your feelings. It's very demeaning as a guy.

    • I am not gonna abuse him or take advantage of his feelings or play hot and cold with him. But yea, I get your point. I wouldn t say demeaning but I guess it s hard to put your feelings away and act all bro/sis with the girl. So it's better to cut all contacts and move on easily.

    • Yeah I wouldn't expect that out of the average girl. The longer that guy is around you the more feelings he will probably have. What happens when you get a boyfriend. It's just best to cut contact you know? I much rather hang out with a girl that was equally as into me. Once there is romantic interest and that is communicated it doesn't just disappear.

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