Hello, My Name Is: "Not Your Second Choice" (Page 2)
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Whenever I read about a women who is "Independent" I picture someone who has an attitude immediately after saying what I believe shouldn't be held offensive. But then again, I'm not a woman. Lol
I never knew that there were people who took independence negatively. Strange.
Yes, unfortunately cause it has so much connotations with it, some can be bad people who are indepedent who have the mindset of "he does what I tell him to do or he can get out, he's wrong wrong wrong" "I pay for my own shit I don't need him" then you have good ones, I can't think of an example, from experience, but of course there is always the good with the bad, bad with the good thing. I wouldn't mind an independent woman as long as she has a good attitude/personality, but it's very very hard to find in my opinion nowadays, like.001 % :(
Couldn't your take also apply to men who women conveniently show interest towards when their nearing 30's or 30+ but otherwise in their youth showed little to no interest or straight up rejected them?
Well this was a personal take, it wasn't meant to implied to anybody but myself. It's similar to a monologue. If you'd like to see that perhaps you should take the initiative to right that yourself being a male in his thirties, as I am a woman in her twenties speaking about personal experiences.
This is incredibly powerful! I love it and can't wait to have the courage to say that to someone I have in mind who deserved it over 3 years ago!
We are all second choices though
I agree with the I'm not perfect but good enough
Amen!! But no fear, losers like this always come crawling back.
You are right to feel the way you do as you value yourself. Because of your lack of skill your not my type.
Uh, I wasn't concerned about being your type but thanks?
That was a generalized statement. Not directed at you. Just as you have standards so do i. I was agreeing with you
Oooh I see, rereading it I got what you meant, my mistake.
We're cool. Being yourself is the best road to happiness
Why then, is it okay for guys to be just a name on a girl's list of potentials? Y'all seem to be perfectly happy when you're the choosers who can make guys line up for a mere chance with you.
It isn't okay, not at all. If you also noticed by my responses to other men, in the early stages of dating it's completely okay to have multiple options. But if you get to a point where you are leading somebody on as though you are going to be exclusive whilst hiding another relationship from this person, I don't believe that's okay. If you simply want to date casually you should make that known, and that goes for men and women.
I've just noticed that women take great offense when they're not a guy's absolute number 1 choice, but they expect guys to line up and vie for their attention as if auditioning for role on a TV show. Most guys are so desperate for sex that they do it gladly, and many of these same guys are the ones who screw over girls the worst, being that their interest wanes once their initial urge has been satisfied.
No one wants to be a second choice, but most often, that's precisely what we are, guys especially. Girls usually take so long to become interested in a guy that we're beggars for at least a portion of the early going.
I'm not one of those women my friend. I don't expect men to line up for me and I honestly wouldn't prefer it. I'm the type of person who initiates, actually, so I'm typically the one to show interest first and I believe both parties need to put forth the same effort. I feel there's nothing wrong with, after a reasonable amount of time of discussing exclusivity, to have the expectation that there isn't a secret relationship involved.
It seems more to me that you're talking more about women you dislike than what I was actually writing and therefore made a lot of very off assumptions since I am nothing like the women you described, sir.
No, I'm not assuming anything about you, I'm saying that if anyone is constantly put in the position of 'second choice,' it's men, not women. Women are more than willing to let us know that we're one of how many other applicants they have lined up. Flip the script, though, and a man who tells women he has other options is seen as a cad and a boor. I'm merely pointing out the double standard here, and I think it usually runs against men, not women.
Well I'm sorry you have issues with the double standard, that's unfortunate but it isn't something I've personally never noticed. Not for lack of caring, but I've literally never encountered it because I have never went too deep into this particular topic until now. I suppose where it came across differently was your use or "you" which I assumed was direct and not in general, so that was my own misreading.
I clearly used 'you' in the generic sense, so that wasn't an issue at all. My post had a somewhat accusatory tone, which was by design. I don't like that men aren't allowed to point out double standards in the current milieu because we're somehow seen as oppressors and the bearers of power, even when we're 19 years old, unemployed and penniless. I think it's time women were called to account for their own double standards. Doesn't mean they were your idea, I'm just pointing them out as an avenue for discussion.
I think that it's good that you bring light to it, because it was never something I knew before now.
Very good. Im glad you have decided to give up being a victim and join us in the adult world
You have a strange name. It's very exotic.
Says Hitler's mother
Great take! I agree with you, nobody should accept being second choice.
Well... Um. Someone's upset.
I was, but that's the beauty of using expression to write.
Easily. Write away, dear girl. Write away.😁
Who are you talking to?
The voices in my head, who else?
You make yourself sound generic. We're not all strong, independent, patient, loyal or intelligent. We just like to think we are. If you get a handful of real friends in a lifetime, fall in love and get your heart broken once and get through to a decent age with all you faculties in order and in good health your doing better than most people. You can only savour success once you've been exposed to failure. Never see any of life's lessons as failures. How do you know you've reached the top if you've never seen the bottom? I've been in hell and back and I don't regret a moment. I get to savour where I am more because I know where i came from. Second best is better than no place at all
If being who I am as an individual makes me generic then I am happy to be generic. I've also never stated anything about not appreciating failure, I think this experience has shaped me for the better but that doesn't mean I can't acknowledge what I was going through when I wrote this. I believe very much in expression and that was the purpose of this take. I'm not under the assumption that I should never experience heartbreak, I understand that it happens. I think you are making assumptions about me quite frankly and you missed the entire point of the take.
You missed the point of my point coz it was cryptic
In this thread: side hoe gets butthurt.
I am not a hoe, thank you I was however hurt by somebody so you are correct.
There's your problem. Don't rely on other people, because they always let you down. I'm just some cunt on the internet, so you don't have to listen, but love is a lie. Hey, I'd tell you I loved you to the end of the Earth then fuck you and leave in the night, never to be seen again. It's just a word, and the sooner you stop falling for it the sooner you stop placing your happiness in some fuckboy's hands. My advice is get laid, make bank, and don't ever think you need a romantic relationship.
I don't rely on other people, thank you very much. I never stated I was in love with this person either. I'm independent and completely sound emotionally but I was inspired to write this take. Your personal issues with love and negativity is all on you my friend, you've severely misread this situation.
ignore this guy, he's just trying to get under your skin
Another nice take