Sexual Relationships
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I Love Sex, But Here's Why I Don't Rush Into It With Most New Girls...

I love sex, but here's why I don't rush into it with most new girls...

I know most guys are totally into sex ASAP with a girl, and I am too. If I am mostly physically attracted to her no doubt I will try to lay her ASAP. But if I sense something more between us, something potentially special, I will HOLD OFF at least a week if it's up to me. If she's not ready yet then I will wait as long as I keep feeling that special something.

Why? Because me, personally, 9 times out of 10 when I have sex with a girl too fast I will lose interest. Fellas, if she's worth it then enjoy the courting phase. Enjoy the time spent before having sex where you still are getting to know each other and still nervous before meeting up with each other. Don't rush.. remember that after the date you always have your hand. Remember a time when we used to rely on only our hand to get off? Now remember and tap into the fact that you have no problem rubbing one out like a man if need be.

Every time I rushed to have sex with a girl, what's left? No sexual tension, no excitement, nothing. Everything changes after you guys fuck lets be honest here. And besides, the sex will be so much better when there's a good build up. ALL of the ones I've fucked on the first night and continued to for a few weeks, all those relationships failed. Nothing specific happened, the contact between us just sort of faded.

Not only is everything I said above better for the potential relationship, but it's a better look for you. Remember; girls don't think like guys.. girls don't think "He didn't fuck me as soon as he had a chance, what a fucking pussy". Instead she will think "wow he respects me as a person, he's not desperate for sex, and simply enjoys my company". A girl thinking that will cause her to look at you with higher value.

So in conclusion.. if she's down for it on the first night then by all means fuck the shit out of her, but don't expect much. If she's worth it, chances are she won't be down for it on the first night and it's

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm just gna go out on a limb, here, and guess that you don't have the type of personality that gets addicted to things easily?

    Because this...
    "Every time I rushed to have sex with a girl, what's left? No sexual tension, no excitement, nothing."
    ... couldn't be any further from the truth for me. And reading those words made me sad.
    I mean, srsly?
    If it was GOOD, wouldn't it be like crack? Or like a bomb deep-dish pizza (which may as well be crack)? Like, there'd just be even MORE anticipation, and MORE desire, and you'd start salivating just thinking about it?

    mb it's just me... lol

    In any case, I've NEVER "waited" for sex. That sort of chemistry is just way, way too important for me -- and, unlike many people, I'm not emotionally invested in all sex by default, so I wasn't taking any significant emotional risks by jumping into bed quickly.
    Worked out perfectly well for me, at least. I waited all of 2 hours from the moment I met my husband -- most of which time was just overcoming logistical barriers -- and we're about to celebrate 15 years of the most impossibly fulfilling marriage imaginable.

    But, yeah... I'm guessing you don't have an addictive personality.
    On top of that, if you REALLY, truthfully, have this experience of ALL the sexual tension going away once you fuck someone, then... well, I might suggest that you even have a bit of the whole Groucho Marx self-loathing thing tossed in there ("Any club that'd have me as a member, I wouldn't want to join").
    I mean... dude, that's just not normal. Not normal at all. You might want to sit down one day and explore that -- there might be some lurking thoughts in there of "I think less of this girl because she put out for ME." And if there are, figure out where those demons are coming from, and get them the hell out of yr head.

    • me? lol i have the most addictive personality there is

Most Helpful Guy

  • Wise words - Makes a lot of sense to me

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This post reads like a man or should I say boy (you sound extremely young) with the classic whore/madonna complex. The last line about if she's worth it she won't be down for it on the first night. "It" being what? Taken seriously? Deemed relationship worthy? Sexual activity has little to do with someones worthiness of anything, especially if the person judging is also participating.

    Losing interest in someone after sex is a sign you were never interested in the first place, not that there is no mystery or tension left. Sex is like whipped topping on desserts; it´s nice and adds an extra dimension to it BUT it doesn't generally effect the underlying dessert. I know if someone made me a piece of great cheesecake and gave it to me with whipped cream, I would enjoy the hell out of it. If someone offered me a piece of the same exact cake later but WITHOUT the whipped topping, I would still want it. Having the whipped topping or not does not affect the overall quality of the cake... get it?

    In short, if you don't want sex on the first date make sure it's not because you're secretly classifying the woman who agree to it as a whore, unless you are also doing so to yourself... in which case, get thee to therapy...

    • im writing from my own personal experiences. shoot me for enjoying the courting phase right

    • It is fine to enjoy the "courting phase" for its own sake. It is not fine to imply a woman who sleeps with someone early is not relationship material. That is misogyny plain and simple...

    • thats not what i said you fucking feminist. this section is called "my take" so MY TAKE is that there is a HIGHER CHANCE that the relationship will be of HIGHER QUALITY if you dont fuck the guy within hours of meeting him, or the first or second day.

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  • so after you have sex with a girl all sexual tensions, excitements will fade? I'm saving for marriage so I'm curious

    • this means that you truly don't love your partner.

    • don't even have to care.

    • @Sabretooth I applaud this young woman. Just because you save your virginity for marriage doesn't mean that you don't love your partner it means that she is saving for the one who wants to be with her the rest of their lives. I can't tell you how much I was glad that I waited until I met my husband. Girl, my advice to you is wait till you feel it is right. You'll enjoy it so much more when it is the right person. Sabretooth, don't criticize someone for their choice of waiting. Girl, you are still young enjoy life. Take the time to find the right guy take comfort from your girlfriends when you start dating. They will talk you out of a bad relationship and take their advice. Don't pull the "but I love him card" because they will see things that you don't. If you want to message me feel free.

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