Why Women Actually Go for Looks Instead of Personality (Page 2)
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I just hate it when women go for hot guys that don't give a shit about them, or he act interested one moment and cold the next. My manager cries at work cause her boyfriend won't treat her right. She tells us this but her reasons for staying with him cause he was hot. I encountered plenty of women and this goes to the ones I encountered not all women. That does this. On the other hand I'm not going to attracted to a girl who's not that good looking. But hey look at Beyoncé and jay z. Anyway, everyone has there preferences and you can only accept it.
True that.
We all know that physical attraction plays an important part in relationships but so does personality and compatibility. If i just wanted sex, then i would base it on looks alone. But since im not a ONS type of woman, there's got to be a good balance between those 3 aspects before I would even consider getting into a relationship with someone. If your looking for something serious, don't just base it on looks alone, that's how it all ends in tears. Oh, and please don't go with someone your not really physically attracted to just because they've got a wonderful personality, because you'll end up wanting to leave them when someone more attractive comes along. Is it worth lying to that person just to break their heart eventually?
Physical attraction comes first, then personality comes in second. Physical attraction always tops personality.
Yes I know that, hence why i mentioned those things in that order. But for me I need a balance between the 3. There's plenty of men I have been physically attracted to, that alone is not enough for me to want to go out with them. If they have a shit personality or aren't compatible with me, then its a no, no.
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Exactly my point
I'm not super PC but maybe it could be because you are straight up objectifying her.. she's your dream girl? Why? The bitch didn't even speak to you? Her looks.
And you seem to think liking sometimes entitles you to it.. no sir. She doesn't have to respond. You're not her type and if it's because your looks.. well you're no less shallow then she is so quit being a sanctimonious prick.
*something
Never have I said that I am entitled to any woman. I'm simply stating that this is true and by your comment you have only confirmed my take so thanks.
Yeah! You just confirmed the OP's argument xD
So from things in my life that I've personlly learned or from friends:
Attraction can grow over time with women mkre so with men. But this isn't ever woman on eart. It may be a few more but some can say omfg he was so ugly and not my type to one day they are in love. It happens. I don't know how often but it does happen
But I've also leaned that that initial first attraction is important and the male has to be relatively attractive. Does he need 6 pack abs and look like Arnold in his prime? No. He could have a God like face or smile or whatever. Thats first and for most and the personality is very important. If he has no personality it won't last at all. So both need to be there.
but looks need to be more present than personality. Personality is for the later down the road, the initial stages of dating are based off of looks.
"Attraction can grow over time with women mkre so with men. But this isn't ever woman on eart. It may be a few more but some can say omfg he was so ugly and not my type to one day they are in love. It happens. I don't know how often but it does happen"
Alpha fux/beta bux. They finally give you the chance to be a beta provider for them after Chad, Jamal, Tyrone have used them as a cum rag.
@BubbleBoy69 You got a point
Women want the whole package out of a guy in their youth which gives them unrealistic standards. Personality does matter to women but alone won't get you a girlfriend... only friendzone. At best a woman wants a guy with model looks with tall height, status, money and awesome personality. You could have 2 of those traits with no character or even bad personality and still get a nice girlfriend.
I don't have looks or height and only have a funny personality and charismatic persona but its still dont get me beautiful women. Reasons why I'm chasing money and status because there's nothing else I can do to change my genetics. You guys should do the same if you don't have good looks or height.
Personality is a bonus while looks is what matters.
Yeah true but like I said you can always chase money and status. An just buy whores instead. What does it matter if she wants you for your money? Love between a man and a women is always conditional, even for goodlooking men becuase if they lose their looks women wouldn't want them anymore the same way if you went from been rich to poor again. Know what am saying?
Yeah I see what your saying. It makes sense
I really do look for personality. I haven't truly had my first kiss yet. My boyfriend is super special. He has a perfect personality, but I'll admit may not have the perfect looks (well, to me he does) but that doesn't matter. I may be the rarest girl ever but I think personality is better than looks.
As for the sympathy dating, that's crazy. I would never ever do that. Not even when I was in middle school. It's just mean and hurts the person. One of my best friends has told me, I'm the only girl that pays attention to him. I don't see why tho. He's hot lol. But still. He had the sympathy girlfriend thing and all it did was hurt him.
I'm gonna flat out say this because I know first hand too. Girls can be very mean and bitchy.
Thankfully I have been told I'm nothing like that. ☺️
Then you must be in the minority
Haha maybe
no, you're not lol. women are emotionally impulsive, their deepest desires in men ARE driven by emotion EVEN IF they need to like a guys looks before giving him a chance first (that's just common sense no?) You are in the majority never mind what some claptrap pseudo-social science experiment tells you. Believe in real science = biology.
@noModifierNeeded you know maybe I'm different. Not everyone is the same. Have you not realized that in 29 years?
interesting response. well I was agreeing with you not him, yes I have realised that in 29 years thank you very much. I'm saying you are not in the minority (that's what majority means).
@noModifierNeeded
Sorry. Some people like to argue with me. I thought you were telling me I only want guys for looks.
There's 2 kinds of people. The people who go after looks and the people who go after personality.
The people who go after looks tend to go after other people who go after looks, and the people who go after personality tend to go after other people who go after personality.
So if you are ugly but have a good personality and you go after someone for their looks then they will also probably be going after people for looks and turn you down because you're ugly.
If you are hot but have a bad personality and go after someone who gose for personality they'll probably turn you down.
If you have neither you'll die alone.
Do you get it? You're the last person.
People go after looks first, then personality. Looks is 90% and personality is only 10% at first
I'm sorry, did I just give you so bad a burn you couldn't give a good counter argument?
No. It's just that your comment was a little confusing. I had to read it a couple times to understand. Tbh it isn't as difficult as you put it. You are either attractive or unattractive. Personality always come second there is none of that "people who go after personality go after other people who want personality" bs. Looks will kick open the door and the personality is what makes the relationship work.
Yeah but if you're have a badass personality it can kick down the door on it's own.
And I was just trying to say you're gonna die alone so it doesn't really matter.
ignore the people who try the tired lie about lack of confidence being the downfall of ugly men... I assure you that any poor ugly smuck who walked up to a gal full of confidence will get laughed at... and made to be the bad guy if he doesn't like her laughing in his face.
And you need look no further to see the looks over personality issue that to check out the date rape cases... the VAST majority of the guys who did that were OBVIOUSLY scumbags... but the women didn't take the 5 minutes to get to know him before deciding that cute guys are always good until proven otherwise.
Exactly!
I think you are wrong its the nice guys that don't get anything. I don't understand completely your example of the rape cases
@diegoD No, he's saying that the nice guy becomes the "bad guy" meaning he becomes hated.
With decent appearance comes the implication of charm, confidence, and honorability. However, people that have always coasted on their looks eventually hit the wall at which they can no longer get away with murder but they could probably get away with rape or negligent manslaughter... You want proof? Here's a very brief link covering a story of a guy who was sentenced to death with absolutely NO evidence of involvement in a murder that he reported to the police. He just dressed weird and was a generally creepy dude. There was a the part 6 hour documentary series about him spanning the 15 years he was in prison.
You want more proof, do some research.
Lmao 1) you need to find the person you're dating attractive. Notice I said YOU, not everyone. A guy doesn't have to be the hottest guy ever, as long as he's attractive to me
2) yeah looks are important for approaching and the initial stages of dating, but I wouldn't stay with a guy if I didn't mentally connect with him. That would lead to a very boring life.
Funny enough, the person who wrote this didn't mention anything about wealth, or money. I guess Hugh Hefner gets all of those girls by his looks!
See you've proved my point. The guy has to be attractive. Then further in the relationship the personality aspect starts to rise, but looks will always be on top.
Looks as in I need to find the person attractive. What I find attractive may not be what someone else finds attractive. It goes along with that saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
@EnglishArtsteacher what are you talking about?
@EnglishArtsteacher I did mention money. I said during the post college period, status (aka money/wealth) becomes a factor and sometimes becomes a factor that is bigger than looks which I then proceeded to say that I wouldn't talk about those kinds of girls because that would be irrelevant and would be a whole other topic.
I actually think it's the opposite: College girls (traditional age, per say) are the ones who ARE gold-diggers, where as women who get older, and have more life experience tend to see past money (and looks), and go for personality. I don't see too many middle-aged, or elderly gold-diggers.
@EnglishArtsteacher stfu you know nothing. I literally don't know one person my age that is a gold digger.
@Puppylove94 Or maybe the people you know aren't gold-diggers. Why do so many older, wealthy men (Athletes, movie stars, any other famous people, and so on) date women in their 20's? When do you ever see older women ONLY going after money?
@EnglishArtsteacher because they are more attractive and it's not as common as you think. I don't see a majority of women of all ages going after money, they go for stability.
Actually I kind of agree with Puppylove94 here... Gold diggers are more common with girls who are outside college because that is when the men can make money. For the most part, everyone is equally broke in college, so there would be no reason to gold dig if there is no gold to dig.
Holy shit, I barely remember writing these comments.
I've changed a lot since my college days.
"I love it when men think they know everything about women and decide to speak for all of us. Jesus take the wheel I get all tingly when they take control like that. " - said no woman ever.
I speak for the majority, yes.
Good lord. You are writing a take about women and you're under 18? Young padawan, you have a lot to learn.
You are sadly mistaken.
notice she didn't say you were wrong
@JustWorthlessMe and here we have a grade A dumbass.
No, in fact I think I've learned a lot and will keep learning. The majority of women do this.
As a woman this take is full of bullshit. It really says a lot when so many other woman agree. Only women know other women, and we don't like each other.
I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have a feeling that you know this take is true and you don't want to admit it. But hey, I don't know you so whatever you say I must believe.
You don't know me in the slightest. Thank god. I repeat only women know what women are thinking.
But what if a guy gets turned down a lot and or his girls that are friends tell him what girls think?
Yeah women don't know women men don't know men sorry. Science is objective and your personal views will always be skewed by bias. I don't trust my own subjective thoughts on men and will only believe something if I can take a step back and explain it in regards to evolution or prove it with facts. Both genders care about personality. Both genders care about looks. Exceptions exist to every rule but as a general rule that is true so sorry sister but he isn't totally wrong here whether you would like to admit it to yourself or not. (also I find it funny that you disregard his POV for being young while you yourself are 19)
Every one of has been rejected. It's a part of life. I know not every guy on the planet is going to want to date me and it's the same with you. I don't know why he gets turned down. Maybe he's an arrogant douche.
Not if it happens all the time. What this guy said is right girls can't tell what other girls are doing and men can't tell what other men are doing. Opposites have to it is a part of science
@AnonRom that paragraph was unnecessary I didn't read past the first sentence. I post opinions not argue. That is what Reddit is for.
this guy has no clue
When you guys approach women, do you think about her personality? Well, probably not, because you do not know her yet... you will most likely choose to approach a girl you think is attractive. You think that is your dreamgirl! But whaat? She doesn't want you to approach her? What is wrong with her? She is just so shallow she turns you down just knowing your looks?
I'll just leave it here for you to think about it.
Hmmm... If she doesn't want you to approach her that means she isn't into your looks. It can't be because she isn't into your personality because she doesn't know you, it can't be because she has a boyfriend because if that was the case she wouldn't care if you did or not she would just tell you that she has a boyfriend, and it isn't that she doesn't want to be bothered because everyone likes compliments and if you go up to her and flirt with her (complimenting her and such), then she will blush and giggle because everyone likes compliments.
Not exactly like that, why do you think she is interested in any men at all? Also even if a girl says she has a boyfriend guys often try to continue the convo.
But this wasn't really the point. The point is that men and women aren't too different, just think abut it.
And to add here, an important point you are missing: for example if I turn a guy down it is most likely because he has behaved like a total ass. Not really much to do with his face. But ofc I would not be very trilled to date a guy I am not at all attracted to either, it wouldn't be fair for the guy either. It is just the way things work on this planet earth of ours.
You haven't met me. 😛To me, personality is way more important than looks. You can look hot, but if your personality is shit, then that automatically negates a lot of points in your overall attractiveness to me.
But what if they guy was really unattractive? Would you still give him the time of day? Like Chico_brah said, looks kicks open the door then personality comes, not vise versa
Yes I would if he was sweet and kind enough.
I would so long as you're not an ass and listen and we get to know each other then yeah. I just want someone who is like my best friend that I know I can trust, won't lie to me no matter how bad the truth is and will always be there for me.
@Shadow_reaper but what if a guy can do all of that and he looks like a creeper who stalks people?
I've dated a few guys that weren't the most attractive they were really sweet made me laugh and feel like myself.
@Shadow_reaper I don't know what you mean by "weren't the most attractive". Those guys are probably pretty attractive to other people's eyes.
I can't say the same about guys though. I don't think they would even give you a chance if you weren't hot enough.
It all depends on who you choose to approach to be honest sometimes you'll get a yes or a straight up no or ignored by either gender. I should know since I've asked both out I'm bisexual and if one says no I got a sea of options.
Hey guys? Can you stop talking on my opinion please?
Yes guys do this too, but girls do it more often and it's actually fascinating because girls tend to be on the DL about it while guys are more open about it. That's why you here more about guys being dicks than girls.
@RainbowFanGirl you aren't totally wrong most men won't date a girl that they don't find physically attractive (maybe if the girl asks them out) but to be fair men have a much wider range of what they find physically attractive (and usually also won't date assholes)
no!!!
@diegoD yeah!!!
There are a-holes in every gender OP. Not just girls.
That's not what I'm trying to get at. I'm saying that girls tend to want looks over personality and so do guys, but more girls do this than guys.
I think that both do it equally. Let's face it. Nobody will form a stable relationship with someone who they are not attracted to. That's just life unfortunately. People have different standards, but as you said, girls just aren't as open about it.
But me personally? I am much, much more attracted to personality and the qualities of that person. ❤️
i think with a girl like you, looks actually work against the guy. Thats because they probably incite insecurity in you. (not commenting on your looks but rather your self esteem based on previous posts.) I would be shocked if any of your guys have ever been extremely good looking or fit
@pavlove actually I have been with a few good looking guys. One of which was white and was sort of thin. Not muscular but he was tall and lanky.
Despite gender, we as people are naturally attracted to attractive things and people. Just as we like glitter and neon. But, we don't "go for looks instead of personality". They are just two factors we ALL look for in people; neither is more 'significant' than the other and I don't like how you've made women sound like we're heartless people who only care about visuals. Men are way more visual anyway.
Looks is more important that personality in BOTH genders. Personality plays a big role, but you must have the looks in order for her to see your personality. Men tend to be more open about unattractive women, however women tend to do it more. They keep it on the DL about it. Kind of interesting if you ask me.
Seeing that's you're only a teenager, believe me when I tell you that things will not be like that when you're older. Don't worry.
You contradict yourself by the way. The reason that men are more open about looks is because we are more physically impulsive, not because looks are less important to us, to be clear, we give into our physical drives more easily than women. That does not support the idea that looks are more important to women. Conversely, women will much more likely follow through with a guy if she relates to him on a personal level meaning 'looks' play a much lesser role on whether she stick it out with him or not, that's not true of men.
Do girls care about looks? Yes
Do you have to match THEIR physical standards? Yes
Are those standards universal? No
You'll cringe so hard in 5 years if you read this again, but for the moment, let's say you're correct - what are you going to do about your situation? So coffee shop girl turns you down, just go find an ugly girl to tap.
Standards are not universal, but the looks>personality thing is. If you don't meet their physical standards, then you're out of luck. The only thing you can do about the situation is to try it on more girls, because as you said, standards aren't universal.
When the girl rejected/ignored you at the coffee shop, it's not because you're unattractive, it's because you come across as a creep.
"I saw you sitting here [stalker?] and I thought you were cute [immediately compliment about looks?]."
If you wanted to talk to her so badly, I'd've asked her a question, which gets her attention in a neutral way. And after that try to make a conversation out of it.
by the way, she is also not worth much for not replying to you, so part is her fault too.
That isn't creepy, that is showing that you are attracted to her. If you an attractive girl sitting down somewhere at the coffee shop that doesn't mean that you are a stalker. With your logic, that means that if I even look in the direction of a pretty girl that I am automatically a stalker. If she ignores you, it's because you're unattractive.
Showing attraction when you haven't even talked to a woman IS creepy. "Hey I've been checking you out" can come across as "I've been watching you for the past 5 minutes", which definitely IS creepy.
You should try to talk to woman in a neutral manner, and not hit on them immediately.
Women don't want to be loved for their bodies. They want to be loved for who they really are. Their personality.
If you start the conversation with a compliment about her looks, she will most likely assume you want something from her. Namely, her body. Thus she ignores.
No, women love compliments more than anything. If you have the attractive face for it, you can get away with saying that she is cute. Also there is a difference between "Hey I've been checking you out" and "Hey I saw you sitting over here". Seeing someone sitting somewhere isn't creepy, checking you out IS creepy.
Well ok, I can't really seem to change your attitude for the better.
I just want to say this: Don't focus too much on your looks. As a guy, you don't really need them much. Focus on your confidence and positive attitude. That'll help a great deal with everything for everyone :)
I just realized that you are also 17, which means looks are extra important for girls our age...
Not really. As an example, I've seen couples in high school where I personally thought the girl was way better looking than the guy. But those guys must have had a ton load of confidence and balls of reinforced steel. And a heck of a lot charisma
Women wouldn't date a guy they aren't physically/sexually attracted to. But beauty is completely subjective and beauty metrics are radically different across cultural settings.
A little friendly tip to you young fella, women want a man who is self-assured and thinks highly of himself. You need to be more confident. Do you have any positive traits? Having a good sense of humor, good hygiene and a positive outlook on life definitely helps. Stop wallowing in self-pity and have more control over your life. Women are also attracted to integrity, compassion and intelligence.
So you're saying that looks comes first? If so then you've proved my point.
I think looks and personality are both very important.
I guess as a generalization this is true... But I can't agree that it's all of the time. I always value personality first and always have. Something guys should take into account though is that there isn't one version of attractive. My attractive is tall, skinny, pale, bright eyes, and I LOVE freckles. My boyfriend is all of that plus some unexpected characteristics that grew on me... But not many girls agree that he is sooooo freaking sexy. Which is fine, more for me :)
There are always exceptions to the rule, however you must understand that most girls do think that looks are better than personality.
Oh I know they do, but they end up in shitty relationships typically. Comparability is based more on personality and it can be really bad to only care for each other look wise. I'd love to know what I said that was so bad I got down voted... But... Yeah. Like I said, as a generalization your post is correct.
Thanks. I appreciate you reading.
Of course!!!
Why are people so pathetic on the internet?
Seriously. You're the one who thinks you're ugly and because of your personal experiences with middle school and high school children you think the world is dark and bleak. Please stop your self pity.
The world is dark and bleak, you must be looking through rose covered glasses. You wouldn't understand if you are attractive. Also, I've stated in the beginning of the take that these are based of my experiences AND OTHER MEN'S EXPERIENCES.
These small experiences you're discussing do NOT make them the facts of life. I'm a mixed person, I'm Puerto Rican and Jamaican. Growing up as a child and being around people who weren't used to mixed raced individuals I was constantly bullied and questioned.
I was always told by boys I was ugly, I was weird, it was wrong for me to be mixed, I'm too dark, I'm too light, I only like "x" girls etc etc etc.
That was my life all the way up to middle school until black American boys took notice of me. And from there is was "you're sexy come spend time with me." (the answer was always no, I wasn't allowed to date until I turned 18).
But anyways as a child I began puberty at age 7-8 and finished at age 10. When I was 10 years old I was a 34C in bras and they were only growing. Can you imagine the amount of sexual harassment I underwent during what should've been innocent years of my schooling, and in spite of wearing a uniform everyday?
I high school my self esteem was so low I would
I would avoid being the spotlight of anything. I didn't attend school dances, our school field trips, football games, nothing. I felt so bad about myself from the bullying and harrasment that LITERALLY started from kindergarten that I wanted to be invisible to everyone around me and it worke. d
The truth is I was never ugly, I'm actually quite beautiful and get attention now, but the people I grew up around made me feel like trash. My first boyfriend was at age 18 and we're still together now after two years and we plan on getitng married.
If it were you, who were in my shoes using your thinking. You would talk about how men are pathetic, shallow, evil, perverted animals with no respect. But this isn't true right? So if I were to say these foul things about men and you could see how it was flawed then why can't you see this? Because I could find PLENTY of women with my same experience. But once again, that doesn't make it the fact of life.
I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you. The majority of men are actually pretty decent people. There is of course, the minority that aren't. I'm saying that the majority of both men and women look for looks over personality, but there is a larger majority of women that do it then men.
Nothing anyone says is going to reach you.
And no one is going to awake to the fact that the majority of girls want looks first then personality.
Yup, because that's what the billions of women on the planet you've never met are like.
Why were you walking up to the girl in the coffee shop? Her looks. So, she really has the right to judge you on the same quality. Meeting a girl in a different context, such as work, may have different results, because you get to know her before expressing romantic interest. Looks are superficial, I think most people only care about them to the point that they have nothing else to qualify a person on.
Both men and women look for looks. Also, if you meet a girl at work and you begin to express your romantic interest towards her she will put you in the friendzone if you don't meet her physical standards.
I don't think that's true. I mean, yes to a certain extent. But women are not usually that shallow. They are in high school, but so are guys. I'm 25, and women my age don't act like that anymore. And no, they aren't just looking for money either. I'd suggest developing a less cynical viewpoint on the world, and especially women, if you want to have a happy life.
I have a happy life, but I'm telling other guys that women care for looks first and to stop believing this lie that women care about personality way more than looks.
And I'm saying that's not true. Most of them, my age anyway, care far more about personality.
Ohh poor baby, women only going for men they find attractive, how horrible. We all know how men won't mind dating the "ugly girl" because it's what inside that counts.
You're being very close minded here, of course if you only consider attractive women then yes they are going to be more likely to only date attractive men, because they can.
I'm not complaining about it i'm just stating that this is what happens. In the beginning of the take, I stated that this can go both ways, however (I should of probably made this more clear) women tend to do it more. Men are more open about calling people ugly so you here about those cases more often, but in fact women do it more and are a lot more sneaky with it.
If it comes as a surprise to anyone that people date people they find attractive, then they're morons. You can't claim women do it more without scientific backup.
This take's main purpose is to explain to the people who say "Personality over looks is key!" that they are wrong. This post will seem basic to people who already understand the concept.
Looks comes first in the initial attraction, but personality is key when it comes to having a relationship.
Personality isn't that important just gotta have looks and you're good.
@CHRIS11796 Would you be in a relationship with a hot headed cunt, just because she was hot? Please don't insult the female gender like that, we aren't stupid bimbos.
Actually i would tbh. 😉
Joking i wouldn't.
@CHRIS11796 Point proved.
Ya but people make it seem like you have to be goodlooking to be attractive to one individual.