I Had Sex With My Boyfriend's Friend, And I'm Glad I Did

I had just graduated college and was living with my boyfriend of 1 year. We had our share of problems, and like every couple we fought. But at the end of the day, I thought our "rough" patch would one day just disappear, which in hindsight was naive.

I Had Sex With My Boyfriend's Friend, And I'm Glad I Did

It was my birthday and my boyfriend took me out for a nice dinner. I was so excited, as we sat down at the fancy table, and we were given our menus. I asked my boyfriend what he was going to get for his main course, but he just ignored me as he was scrolling through Facebook on his phone... I paused and asked him again, what he was getting. Without looking up at me he said, "I dunno whatever". I put my menu down and asked him, "what's wrong?".

He put his phone down and said "everything is a big deal with you, just shut up". I was speechless and emotional; holding back my tears was difficult, in fact I didn't know what to do. "It's my birthday, and you're on the phone and telling me to shut up, why?"- I asked. "Because all we have been doing this past year is fighting"- he responded. I continued to ask him why he remained in this relationship with me, but he was just silent. As I began to cry at our table, he got up and said, "this is embarrassing", before he got into his car and drove back to our home, without me...

I Had Sex With My Boyfriend's Friend, And I'm Glad I Did

After several calls to him with no reply, I took a taxi back to our home. I was livid and ready to end things, there and then. As you may imagine, there were words exchanged. My boyfriend broke our TV, made a hole in the wall, broke dishes, and even left a few bruises on my arms from where he grabbed me.

I Had Sex With My Boyfriend's Friend, And I'm Glad I Did

I moved out the following day to my parent's house. My boyfriend spent the next month in a different city (for work), calling me, apologizing, begging for me to come back...and I guess I really missed him because I decided to take him back. Of course it wasn't my intention, to deceive or hurt him- but when his mate called me that evening to go for coffee, I said "yes".


My bf's mate was really quite a sweet, shy guy, nothing too impressive. We went out a couple of times for coffee and just talked about general things like work and life. He was very different than my boyfriend, in that he was close with his family, never swore, was extremely non-aggressive and just down to earth. I had known him for a few years and felt like he was a solid friend.

One night we went out for drinks, and one thing led to another- and you guessed it... we slept together. At first I felt terrible about the whole thing but as the week went by, I realized that I made my decision for a reason.

I Had Sex With My Boyfriend's Friend, And I'm Glad I Did

I didn't want to be with my bf's mate, I knew he just wasn't a man yet...but going out of my boundary and doing something like I had done, indicated to me that my boyfriend wasn't the right guy. No matter what, my emotional attachment to him would never be the same. I felt betrayed and very hurt from the year of pain that we went through.


A month later my boyfriend came back to our home city and I broke it off for good. I don't think he ever found out what his best mate and I had done but although it was wrong, I am glad that I had done it. It was a big sign that it's time to leave and never look back.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • there's no way to justify cheating and your ego boost will collapse into disappoint in yourself at some point or another.

    also the first time you cheat you allow a curse to enter your body that curse:

    makes you always considering cheating on anyone for the rest of your life

    believe that, when things are bad, there's always a good chance your partner is cheating on you

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    • True, but the moment he put his hands on her and bruised her it was over. He only has himself to blame for it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is what I don't get about people, why does it take you sleeping with his friend to decide to actually end it? He treated you like crap on your birthday, he threw things, punched holes in the wall and left bruises on your arm from grabbing you. Yet somehow it wasn't until you slept with is sweet, caring best friend that you realized you could do better? How is that possible?

    Look, your ex was an ass and there's no denying that but just like anything else in life one bad behavior doesn't not make another bad behavior okay or acceptable. It wasn't okay for your boyfriend to treat you like that and hopefully seeing there are guys out there that will treat you well, is helpful to you in the future. However, just because he was an ass does not mean you get sleep with is best friend and then somehow act like sex with one guy one time was your saving grace. There's a lot of things that save people but I've never heard of someone being saved by sleeping with someone else. That's just an excuse to justify bad behavior and that's not cool.

    To clarify, your boyfriend was an ass and it's great you two broke up. No one deserves to be treated that way. However, cheating is wrong no matter why you did it. So, instead of acting like sleeping with his best friend was the right thing understand it was the wrong thing and it wasn't okay to do (at least not in my book).

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What Guys Said 70

  • I don't understand. Why couldn't you just break up with your bf? You're a cheater now, and while you find ways to justify cheating it will be less and less every time you do it from now on. It's a pattern like anything else. Some people use drugs, some use alcohol, some use food, some people cheat.

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  • "I knew he just wasn't a man yet". So when is somebody a "man" to you? Do I need to break a TV, make a hole in the wall and give you bruises to be a real man? This statement made your whole MyTake sound like it was written by a naive 15-year old

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  • That was a huge violation of the bro code by your ex's friend.
    What made him not man enough for you? You seemed to like him.

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  • he (the first one) sounds like a total asshole. to do that on your birthday-what a cold POS. Sorry that happened to you... you made the right choice leaving him behind.

    to @QuestionMan fuck the bro code. you're born alone, you die alone. you know who follows the bro code? simps, puppies, white knights.

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  • i see no real point in feeling guilty the boy freind was a disrespectful jerk he did nothing but take yoou for granted while you wee with him. it was a good move on your part seeing how you wanted to move on. and being with his freind kind if showed you that your boy freind was not the one for you.

    let him lay in the bed he made, thats his problem not yours if this freind of his is better.

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  • Spoken like a true slore. "Abusive" anymore is a word women throw around to garner sympathy from others and play the role they just love to play "victim" in addition to getting their way with their future "cucks" in training. If you cannot be faithful in a relationship, GTFO and don't even entertain the thought of being in one.

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    • dude deserved to get his ass cheated on. also, im sure his friend agreed and that's why he went for it. most guys watch their bros act terribly to their gfs. this one was like oh my friend's a douchebag, i'm going to go for it.

      you reap what you sow.

  • Spin the story enough and you can make yourself look like a victim instead of a cheater? Sorry didn't work. You could have broken up with him but you didn't you decided to cheat that makes you the terrible person not him. You did it once and in all probability your going to do it again especially since you clearly are able to convince yourself that you betraying some one makes you the victim instead of them.

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  • I just call it stupid. It took fucking his friend for you to leave? Not the bruises, not the violence and broken property?

    I swear, women these days will find any reason to cheat.

    I don't feel bad for the guy at all. I think he should rot in prison, but being happy you cheated? You'll do it again, so good luck to any guy you'll date in the future

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  • You'll never have the same trust in another guy because of this. It's how we deal with hard times where we get a good look into who we are. Now you now that when the chips are down and things are hard you will probably cheat and find some cop-out excuse later to tell yourself why it's ok.

    Like people who say they have no regrets, because it's made them into who they are today.. lol. Riiiight.

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    • lol, guys cheat on girls all the time. how is it any different? are the guys incapable of having a real relationship afterwards?

    • Show All
    • @mostwomenshouldstfu

      My post was highlighting the effect cheating has on the individual who cheated. Even if you don't hold yourself accountable for what you may have done. We tend to think that people are willing to do the same things that we are. So if that you are someone that was willing to cheat at some point in time you are far more likely to suspect a partner of doing the same to you. So the fact that trusting relationship in the future is difficult is solely because of the effect it has on you personally. Not because of how your partner feels about it.

    • Well, maybe when compared within a gender. Across a gender, different standards. This is where equality breaks down. There has to be exceptions when genders are somewhat the same but not exactly, if we are to function harmoniously. I get what you are saying, but the female experience vs. what males experience isn't the same. No one likes cheating, it implies a abandonment/lonliness in both parties but they both have different coping mechanisms and feel it differently in my opinion. Plus, when you have one female for every male, there isn't really much of an excuse if everyone does it right.

  • I get and understand the bullshit from your boyfriend, but I do think that somewhere along the way you already KNEW that it was over and the hangouts with the "FRIEND" were probably those little positive moments that you would probably look forward to and that's when you should of probably seriously started to end things with your boyfriend. I am happy that you are happy now, but the way you went around could have been better but it's done now.

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  • First off, he was definitely no friend
    second, it amazes me that with as much as women bitching about being called sluts and whores, the women that act like one post things like this. Only a piece of trash cheats. once a cheater, always a cheater. how pathetic.

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  • I can say that it wasn't really cheating, because you stopped seeing him when he went away to work. Plus he hurt you and all that which is terrible. I would just like to know why the oher friend was not a man yet? Was it because of the shyness becUse that can follow people throughout heir lives and is not a defect of character

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  • You are the definition of a dirty hoe. Unbelievable.

    You cheat on your boyfriend with his buddy then, HIDE it, and you have the audacity to flaunt it around like you're awesome and cool for pulling it off?

    You're the reason modern relationships don't work. Smdh

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  • The media really makes me hate women by constantly justifying this type of "finding yourself" (but only if you are a woman) with countless movies and TV shows but the women's comments here really restore my faith and I agree with everyone who said you should have left him much earlier.

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  • Trying to justify you cheating on your boyfriend because you had rough patches. smh

    sloots gonna sloot i guess

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  • I don't know who's worse, you or your ex. Ima say both.

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  • Damn, thought i was about to root for the little guy until you said he wasn't a real man or w/e. Brutal.

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  • Hopefully you find another cheater to live with. Two cheaters together cancel each other out and don't decimate the lives of those who are faithful.

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  • Your "boyfriend".

    You were not cheating when you broke up with him that day. But it's good, that you broke up with a madman at least. Goodness knows what else he would do if you remained with him.

    The title is somewhat misleading.

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  • Well glad you let steam out young lady and the 'confession' here puts your guilt at rest :)

    Good luck, go on enjoy the future :)

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  • Eh, you were esentially already broken up so I don't see it as being a big deal. Its not like you cheated on someone who really cared about you and treated you well.

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  • I think you are right - You needed a sign your relationship was on a wrong track and you got it - Fate works in mysterious ways

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  • Okay? What's the point of this story?

    All I see here is actually a bunch of simplistic mildly scummy rednecks

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  • I can kind of see some justification in what you did. But, out of curiosity, how was he "not a man yet?"

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  • hmmmm first gal I've heard of proud of being a cheating whore... if you could have restrained yourself until you dumped your asshole boyfriend for good, you'd have been quite the sympathetic figure.

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  • Not your faught anymore. But his bestfriend is shit.

    You are scum too though

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  • I was with you until you called him not a man. You have no idea what makes a man.

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  • I feel sad now, no appreciation for the sweet shy guys? :(

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  • Hmmm... should I feel bad for an abusive boyfriend being cheated on?

    I say no.

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What Girls Said 25

  • Whatever makes you feel better.

    You should have realized when he left you at the restaurant on your birthday and started throwing things that your relationship had been over for a long time.

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  • Once he grabbed you and left bruises, no, once he left you at a restaurant alone and crying, he automatically ended it. So, besides saying the exact words, everything was done, and I wouldn't have felt like either because screw him and screw his friend ;D However, I hope you weren't leading on and taking advantage of that other guy because he has feelings too.

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  • Good for you. The boyfriend didn't deserve you and the friend in one way or another helped you from ruining your whole life with that guy.

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  • So what you're saying is you stuck around while some douche took a dump on your back then let his douche friend use you like a tissue... Another stupid girl out to kick her own backside. Here's what's going to happen to you. You're going to be screwed up for several years and end up in more bad relationships. This is your fault you chose to let all this happen.

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  • I am very happy you exited an abusive relationship, but please understand that cheating is not what 'saved' you. It was just the realization that other men want you as well and you could probably have better (though your ex´s mate for some reason is not 'a man' to you. The only red flag I have noticed about him is having sex with his friend´s girlfriend, so if that is what makes you not consider him, I get it, but if it is something else.. oh well, guess u have your reasons).

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  • Usually I would go on about how cheating is bad. But this situation, your boyfriend did not deserve you and you were likely in a weak position. So if doing his best friend got you away from him then sure. I still don't think its good though.

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  • so you're just a horrible person who is trying 2 blame your ex for cheating on him. way to go then cause it doesn't make u a good person

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  • Your boyfriend deserved it but I feel bad for that guy you just used.

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  • That is not good you cheated on him once you chest you lose trust respect honest etc especially your boyfriend unless he is will ing to stay with you
    But at the same time you had the right to do what you did because your boyfriend should have not done that to you... I am really sorry you got hurt by your boyfriend I hope other guy will respect you a lot more than that
    Happy birthday to wish you well

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  • Couldn't have you gone out of your boundary by having sex with someone else in stead of you bf's mate, and come to the same conclusion? Or Just Maybe... figuring it all out beforehand in your thinking brain. I think being a slut can be fun as long as you have some boundaries.

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  • Once a cheater, always a cheater. For the sake of men everywhere, please stay single. You had your chance.

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  • His best friend probably knew him longer than you so... no reason to feel more guilty, if you do feel badly I guess. Why not just break up with your boyfriend first?

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  • Yeah the first guy seem like a total douche. I want to find a guy that will fix the things I want, but how am I supposed to find it if it's so hard to find.

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  • Good girl, sometimes we need to get under somebody to get over somebody

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  • www.themarysue.com/.../...cuse-me-Say-what-GIF.gif

    media.tumblr.com/.../...line_mi575oLrLE1qz4rgp.gif

    I wished I could say You had me and then ya lost me.. but i was lost through out this take. Cheating ain't good no matter what circumstance. The guy you cheated on with broke the scared code for bros... not real homeboy. Ofc you're at fault i wish y'all just broke up.

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  • Sometimes i wonder what this world is coming too

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  • good share

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  • Good for you. Sounds like you were smart to walk. Good luck, hope you find happiness!

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  • We want a man whom we can’t have. We want a man who honestly doesn’t give a fuck about us, who doesn’t care if we come or go. That’s the kind of man we will pursue. Call them bad boys or call them whatever you want, that’s the kind of man we want – period. The kind of guy who will make us orgasm, crudely, and give us a huge sexual thrill in the bedroom, and then discard us like used toilet paper, and fuck our female friends afterwards, just because he can. (Just like we would do with his male friends.) And all hot women are narcissistic masochists. We hate it when things are going well, especially if they continue to go well for long periods of time. We know down deep that we are fucked-up and not worthy of anything that is truly good. So when things are going well in a relationship, we eventually sabotage it. We just can’t help ourselves in this regard.
    We could have the greatest, most handsome, most well-hung husband in the world—a one-of-a-kind man who makes all of our girlfriends jealous; we could have the greatest children in the world, who are beautiful, well-behaved and ambitious; we could have the most enviable career imaginable; we could have all of the money and prestige and the truly good things in life, and we could repeatedly tell ourselves over and over, and believe, on the surface, that we would never cheat on our husbands. But down deep we know that it’s a lie. Because one day, we could walk into a grocery store, and some bad boy could whisper just the right combination of words in our ear, and the next thing you know, we’re at the Motel 6 getting it in the ass. That’s just how we are, and any woman—especially a hot woman—who says otherwise, is a liar.

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  • What was the point of this story? The only message I got from this is that you, your ex, and your ex's friend are all shitty people.

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  • You're ridiculous

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  • Whores will be whores, stay protected.

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  • I admire you 🐜🐜🐜🐜

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  • He wasn't a man yet?

    You're ridiculous.

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