If You're Constantly Being Rejected, Maybe You Need to Lower Your Standards (Page 2)
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Then again there's... cdn.financialsamurai.com/.../rich-guy.jpg
Or...
theferkel.files.wordpress.com/.../...3_old_man.jpg
Its for the money
@MyThoLoGy only problem with at is that in the instance above of Padma Lakshmi, she's worth more than her now ex Salman Rushdie.
First of all, I strongly disagree that wanting to date someone attractive is being shallow. On the contrary, dating is exactly about that: attraction and preferences.
Second, I would advise people constantly being rejected that, instead of settling, they ask themselves the rue reason of their erjection and if it turns out to be that they are "not attractive enough", they do something to improve. You won't believe the wonders that you can do to yourself.
Lowering standards is rarely a good alternative
Your MyTake is amazing, and it does make a lot of sense, but I think sometimes CHARM plays a bigger role, in my case if you play good with words and if you have the right attitude that will make you look attractive to me.
If you are full of yourself, and you show it, even if you are the most handsome guy on earth, it will turn me off, and eventually you will seem ugly to me..
BUT HEY IT'S ME... but I think this will be the same for many :)
Agreed , same applies to very pretty women... that have HUGE ego's & a horrible attitude... but it is the fault of men mainly, for sucking up to her & inflating an already big ego !!
As of the time I'm writing this, the author hasn't responded to any of the comments, so I'm going to ask you what I'd like to ask the author.
Natured, why is this mytake amazing? If looks *do* matter, why is it good advice to tell unattractive people to start dating other unattractive people? Do you believe looks don't matter to unattractive people? They only matter to attractive people?
Lower standards?
Or, follow me, you can raise your own worth to meet those standards!!
If they are beautiful, become as beautiful (if not physically, then personality wise)
If they are intelligent, get smarter.
Why lower standards when you can increase your own worth to meet those standards?
This guy gets it!
Also, I know for a fact that the most beautiful women don't get hit on much. So, they are easier than less pretty ones who get hit on because guys think they have a chance, because they lowered their standards
@Thatoneguy5526 Thanks, man!!
What to do if everyone says that you have an amazing personality, even sometimes call you cute but still never approach you? Where's the problem then? I still think it's the looks.
@Jemini_Crocket Maybe it's the makeup.
I know girls who have upped their sexy level with makeover. try that.
No, never lower your standards. Then instead of being miserable alone, you'll make two people even MORE miserable. Imagine spending every day trapped in a burning train wreck.
What is this "lower your standards" nonsense? You understand the problem, but your solution is absurd. Consult Charles Darwin for a better solution.
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Asking people to adapt, ha ha ha you my friend are HIGHlarious
When I say "lower your standards" I'm not saying or even implying to just date anyone. That would be indicative of a lack of self-respect if you toss out all standards just to get your dick wet. It's more to realize that it makes no sense for you to go after a Victoria's Secret model lookalike if you're a chubby middle-aged man with kids. You would be at two completely separate points in life and have no real commonalities. In essence, you really would be aiming too high
This guy gets it!
Sometimes a guy has to give it a shot. You don't know if you're going to score a goal without shooting the puck. High expectations and persistence are another matter entirely.
You clearly don't understand the game and lack emotional intelligence. Getting rejected is part of it. It's not fun if your new to it, but the more "no's" you receive the better you get at taking them in stride. You realize soon it's a numbers game, the problem is when you realize this you don't stop when you get a "yes.". Thus the player is born, and the game he plays is numbers. It's a vicious cycle, but it teaches, and hardens (most) guys in the end.
@NoFcks2Give Maybe. I am not sure I understand The Numbers Game. Honestly, I am really not sure. What is the point, really? Finding the one who says "yes?"
And in order to do that, you have the maximize the number of women you approach, right? And in order to do that, you must be less discriminating.. i. e. "lower your standards?" Is this your point or am I still missing it?
If so, would this work? Absolutely - someone certainly would eventually say "yes" if I kept dropping my standards. Would I possibly want to have a long-term or marriage with someone I found by lowering my standards? Probably not.
So -- why, then?
It doesn't matter after a while because even if you get a yes from the one who meets your standards, due to the game you've been playing, you'll keep upping your standards.
I hat to scale, but say you get a 6, then some months later you get a seven. Chances are your not looking for 6's anymore. Then that ends you manage to attract a 8, and so on and so forth. It's not about lowering your standards, it's about you realizing you don't have to have a ceiling. Sure if you go for less physically attractive girls you\ll nab a slightly higher percentage, but you can run into a 9 on a day where she's not feeling like one and get the number. I'm saying there's a lot of variables, but any way you slice it. Numbers game.
@NoFcks2Give It looks like the only advantage to doing The Numbers Game is that you'll have sex with, reject, and be rejected by some dogs, whereas if you just set your standards at, say, 8, you'll have sex less frequently, but you will also be hurt less, hurt others less, and when that 8 comes along, you'll be available.
Does that sound right? What am I missing?
I think the caliber of a woman only truly matters if you are looking for a relationship. If your looking to chill, than I can't imagine you'll pass up a 7, because she's not an 8. If your intention are ephemeral. To me, I've seen plenty of women who aren't stunning, yet still have sexy features here and there. I guess it all depends on your personal intentions for her.
There's always the option of just quit altogether. Don't pursue anybody, don't chase anybody, don't ask anybody out or otherwise. Absolute guarantee for no more rejections, at least not for those kind of rejections. it does make me wonder though, this lower your standards thing, can that ever work for someone looking for work or job positions, would they settle for lower standards just for a job?
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I would rather be single than be in unhappy relationship. Only an insecure person who can't be single would change themselves for anyone. I would wait eternity for my Gomez Addams.
Been there, done that. Waste of time and did not better my situation.
I'm happy with the girl I'm seeing now, but my problem wasn't that I wasn't physically attractive. Many told me I'm cute, hot, etc but a lot of women would end up flaking or ghosting after the first date or a few.
I've dated someone I had no physical attraction and I felt bad because I just didn't see it going anywhere and they weren't bad people but no point in leading them on. There is no such thing as a perfect girl or guy for that matter, but I'm not gonna settle.
If you are rejected from time to time by people you like to date , you don't need to reduce your standards , but you need to upgrade your standard by learning the game of how to date and mate. Guys who can do it can charm quite a lot of good looking girls to bed. If they can fine tune and perfect their art of dating , they can be capable of dating the girls with the highest standards.
It all depends on why you are being rejected. What I keep running into with relationships that become serious is... it gets to a certain point, and then the fact that I am an atheist is a problem. I realize I live in the bible belt, but seriously, I was raised in a strict religion and forced to adhere to beliefs I found absurd as a child. I'm not a child anymore, and I don't have to do that anymore.
For the most part, yes. And when not, there's the magic thing called sex appeal:
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I have to disagree. You should pursue whoever you want and never lower your standards. Ya it may be difficult but it's not impossible to be with someone who is more attractive than you. And there are things you can improve on and fix. And being attracted to someone does not make it superficial by the way.
Generally speaking yes but not always. I've seen drop dead gorgeous women with average joes. I also know a very attractive man who prefers average looking women. I think it's really all about preference and who you fall in love with.
Really depends on what your standards are.
If you're working as a nanny or working as a retail clerk and you expect someone who has their act together... hahaha.
Of course, if you're expecting a girl who isn't obeset, you're not asking for much, are ya?
It depends on where you live. In america where there is a high percentage of overweight/obese people asking for a thin person may be too much. Supply and demand.
It's all relative. If you're someone who is an overweight or obese, then it's not a big deal if you just want someone who isn't obese. The problem is is if you're at the kind of person who sits all day on the couch eating potato chips, don't expect someone who is incredibly fit to want to go out with you
I dated a girl last year that was fat. (I run/work out/lift weights, so I'm not fat) At the beginning she was talking about how much she hated her body and was making a point of eating right, etc. So I thought "eh, let it go, give her a chance." And then she wanted things to be serious, but she hated when I would try to encourage her to exercise and work out.
I could lower my standards, but its just not mah style brah.
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www.google.com.au/search
Or you could try raising your standards.
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physical attraction does matter. so glad you aren't afraid to say that. physical attraction is subjective however and you and other girls may or may not agree with me when i talk about the guys i think are at the pinacle.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zSZfaa4lpngThat guy in the video is cute 😍
I think what's being communicated here is that very average looking guys are obsessed with very beautiful girls and don't seem to realize their own lack of physical attractiveness. Not a bad point i guess
well, i guess there is something to be said about dating within your own circle.
But still, you see gorgeous women with butt ugly men. and visa versa.
Look at Christina Hendricks. she is married to this really plain, almost ugly guy...