Young man with Deep Seeded Resentment toward Women.

[Edwin23]

First off I want to say I know a lot of this might be a bit irrational for I can't judge a collective group of people as one, but hear me out. Also this is only one of the many experiences I've had.

Story 1.

I remember being the the 2nd or 3rd grade this was around the time when as kids start getting the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends. Kids start passing notes in class, guys and girl start whispering about who they had crushes on. Keep in mind I'm a first generation "immigrant" I guess, I was born in Puerto Rico but raised in the States. So going to my mother for advice was the first thing I did wrong. They had no understanding of the girl boy dynamics in the states, I mean for fcks sake she was married at 16 with kids. They're idea of dating and such things were so different. I remember telling my mom I liked this one Super Pretty White Girl that was in my class with long Blonde hair her name was Amber. My mother told me in her harsh Puerto rican accent "If you like her, chu should tell her". Boy was that a bad idea.
I remember the day before school I made one of those cheesy "I think your really pretty, will you be my girlfriend" with the check boxes for "Yes" or "No" type of notes.

lol (I'm embarrassed) as I type this.
Another thing to keep in mind is that I was Chubby, yes Chubby not Fat, nor obese, or that over the top fat, I was just simply chubby and she was not at all, she was tall, skinny, and pretty. Like her

I remember going into class before everyone to make sure no one saw what I was doing and I put the letter on her desk. As kids started coming into class I was getting more nervous then boom she came in before the class was too full, so I got up and awkwardly walk up to her and said
"hey Amber someone left something on your desk" (uggh what a fucking little nothing I was lol)
She walked over to the desk and opened up the letter and realized what was going on by then more kids were coming into class and sitting in their desk. (boy did I learn my lesson)

All I can remember from this point was her saying "oh my god look at this" as she showed her friend and her friend looked at me and started laughing. Then to make shit worse she passed the note around to all her friends around her at the desk, boy did they have fun, they were whispering to each other pointing and laughing at me.

All I can clearly remember after this is the heat that I felt in my face from my blood pressure raising, from the EMBARRASSMENT they I had got put through. I mean how is it expected for a Young Man without a father or brothers or sister get through things like that? I realize and am Objective in the fact that the way I was raised and brought up, I wasn't giving these skills Father instill in their sons at a young age. Just wanted to share, any thought and comments would be nice.