Why Dating Multiple Women is Extremely Important for Single Males

Dating is extremely tough for both genders. We have problems, but they tend to be different. I know this will bring some heat, especially from women, but it's extremely important for men to date as many women as he can handle before making a decision on who he chooses. Here are a few reasons as to why it's imperative that men date multiple women at once.

Women flake at very high rates

Most guys understand this. Have you ever started talking to a girl for a week or two and she totally seems to like you? Then out of nowhere she becomes cold or just stops talking to you. This is a very frequent occurrence and it's very demoralizing. However, if you have multiple women you're talking to it's easy to just move on to the next one!

It gives you more power and options

When you have more choices, you have more power. If a girl is playing hard to get, you're no longer a hostage to her games. You in return have more power over her since you can simply ditch her for a more mature woman who won't play games. You can decide which girl is right for you!

Rejection isn't as painful

Rejection sucks, but it also makes it less painful if you know you have other options. You don't invest as much into one women instead you spread out your attention and desires.

It's fun!

I would be lying if I said it's not fun to have the attention of 3-6 other girls. It makes you feel very masculine and desired. Many men never experience this since they're so focused on just one girl.

Women do it also

It would be foolish to think women only have their eyes on one guy. They always have backup options or at least have some in mind. It's much easier for women to accomplish this also.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • great

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, it is extremely important, critical, crucial, vital... throw whatever synonym you can find in that spot. I agree 100% with this. And for the record, women rarely find out that you're dating others and if they do, most of the time it works in your favor because they get jealous. The only exception is when you actually admit any wrongdoing/cave to her shaming tactics (it's actually not wrong in the first place) and try to kiss her ass because of it.

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    • Thank you sir, I appreciate the support.

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    • I can't believe you have four white knights downvoting you.

      Truth be told I wish you were wrong, but your not in the slightest. This is sad but true.

    • I agree 100% all you have in your life is time. Why waste it the odds are most of the women will flake out anyways. So you shouldn't invest too much time into abny single one.

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 28

  • I don't, and if I found out a man was seeing other women at the same time as me I'd be out faster than you could say "text me back please."

    Yes you have no obligation to date only one person, you wanna fish around. But I don't get this whole "power struggle" concept. Like dating is a game. Blah. I hate that shit. I also hate the irrational fear people have of rejection. Instead of focusing on one person and facing the potential that it might fail, you have "back up plans" that you weigh on a scale to see who your favorite ends up being. If that one falls through you have one on the back burner.

    I would never do this. I've been pursued by multiple men and the second I knew I kinda liked one more than the others I told them all honestly. I would never want to waste someone's time making them believe that I'm seeing them and am only interested in them. While I'm sure people do this all of the time, I see it as being silly.

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    • I strongly disagree with your opinion. Dating is about finding the most compatible and biologically successful mate possible. Do not confuse dating with a relationship, there is no implied commitment during the dating stage. If I am single, I date whoever I please, whenever I please. That will NEVER change. Further, if a woman catches me on a date, I am not phased because, as I've pointed out, there is only interest and no commitment at that point. She can choose to take it however she likes but her action/response won't change my stance.

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    • @MrNameless I agree with what you said.

    • @MrNameless I don't see it as wrong to begin with so there's no reason to do that. It would be akin to rinsing myself off before I take a shower. It's unnecessary.

  • A good way to never get a girlfriend who's serious about you and won't cheat. I can't stand men who do this mostly. Women too. "However, if you have multiple women you're talking to it's easy to just move on to the next one!" And women talk, and gossip, will know your name eventually, come to find out you're being a player. Most women look out for one another just like some of you men do. Here's a tip. If you want to avoid these types of women, then like I tell plenty of women and few guys: DON'T get too emotionally attached! Who cares if they seemed into you in the beginning? Don't expect too much on either side. Serious people are intentional, not game players. Dating multiple women is a sure way to get sex and STDs than it is for you to get a serious girlfriend. If you're not serious about dating and you just want to play the field. Fine. That's on you. But advice for single men? Especially when they DO want a serious girlfriend, no, no, no. It will backfire. The only girls you will attract are whores. Decent women aren't going to want guys who are dating more than one person.

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    • Never ask a woman advice when it comes to dating. They will only give information that helps the woman, not the man.

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    • Wow I'm shocked that u make me out to be some sort of moral-less pussy monster, that's laughable 😂

    • @Prof_Don

      Look if you do it, you do it. Least be honest. Still wrong in my eyes and other women who agree with me. Girls aren't going to change their perception when they don't have to bother at all. I hope people understand that they don't have to do anything they don't want to do. Can't always get what you want.

  • I would down vote this so hard if I could. Only because you said on someones thread you basically lie to them, "don't let them know" (that you're seeing other women.)
    You wanna date multiple women? Cool. But be a man about it.
    Lol you don't want a woman that plays games but sounds like you're all for playing games with them.

    I don't see a problem dating multiple people if that's what you want to do and you're up front about it.
    You think it's cool to lie and be a dick about it though. Not so cool.

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    • It's not a game, it's just my privacy. She isn't my wife or even girlfriend. I assume every girl I talk to is doing the exact same thing

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    • @Prof_Don he said something along the lines of " don't let them find out" on someone else's thread, so yeah pretty much.
      Up until that I was totally cool with it and on board. He thinks deceiving women instead of just being up front about seeing other women is just fine, that's what bothered me.
      To be fair, if you've made no commitment the women should just know better, I do, but I feel like if you're going out of your way to keep women from knowing that's just an asshole thing to do.

    • The other thing that's bothersome about it is that the women that don't know and don't assume he's seeing other women is he also sleeping with them all? How far is that going? He is right, women do see multiple guys at once. But I'm not sure how many are screwing them all too. I know I'm not. If I'm seeing multiple guys I'm up front about it and make it clear I'm not into having sex with one on Monday the next on Tuesday and so on. If they choose to stop seeing me then they've made a choice with all the information available to them.
      So if he's keeping these half dozen women or however many he's juggling in the dark do they assume he's only sleeping with them? That's a huge problem in my book. He's not allowing them to make a choice with ALL the information and I don't think that's right.

  • "It's extremely important for men to date as many women as he can handle before making a decision on who he chooses." Why is this MyTake promoted?

    Women and men aren't clothes in a retail store. It's disgusting to try on multiple women and men like they're a damn pair of American Eagle jeans. You are dealing with REAL human beings with feelings. You could seriously end up emotionally hurting someone by playing with people's feelings like that. However, if you choose to do something like this, your partner should be informed. They should have a choice on whether or not they want to join your "American Eagle Collection"... because I sure as hell would run for the damn hills.

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    • Women do this all the time, you never hear outrage

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    • If there is no commitment, there is no reason to pretend like you are... that's just stupid

    • @Prof_Don This isn't about commitment. This is about the fact that MOST people don't want to "date" someone who is sleeping around with multiple people.

      If you want to "date" multiple people.. that's fine. However, don't sleep around with multiple people and not tell your dating partners. That's conniving and digusting.

  • Funny you guys want women to be straight up and don't play games but you're willing to play this game? I have never pursued more than one guy, normally cause I just like that one guy at the time and only want to get know him, not juggle 3 other men on the side. You are in favor of being a player and making women a option to you, that's not fair to any of those women especially if they are beginning to fall you then see you on a date or picture with another woman. It's totally blind siding them cause they thought everything was going to well only for them to find out they were a "back up plan". That's so unfair and you know it is if the tables were turned. "I really like you but sorry I found a guy who's a lot better" Really? Then why did you waste my time if you knew I wasn't what you were really looking for or wanted to begin with? Jeez the way some men think these days, yet they are so quick to talk about women, the feminist and yada yada..

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  • The only thing sadder than this mytake is the fact that you decided to hide behind Anon.
    Funny that.

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    • I would be anonymous anyways. It's not like you would be able to find me.

  • As long as your open and honest have at it. Plenty of people date non exclusively until they find someone they want to be in a relationship with. It isn't a big deal as long as everyone is aware and okay with it, it's fair game. If your telling these girls you want to be exclusive and then continuing to date others then your a jerk.

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    • Keep it ambiguous, there's no need to let her know.

    • I don't know part of me feels non-exclusivity is implied until you have the conversation about whether your exclusive or not. But the other part of me feels that purposley trying to keep it ambigious is a cop out. Unless you have specifically stated you want to be exclusive you aren't doing anything wrong so why not be honest about it? If not just to lessen the potential blow back. She can't blow up over something you've been straight with her about.

    • Your chances with her diminish if she knows. And most the time they don't know. Especially if you live in a heavily populated area.

  • Those who care only about rejection are already the types of men a woman should never consider dating.

    If you're so scared of rejection, then you seem unable to cope with anything at all. Life isn't meant to be easy.

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  • I don't agree with your reasons but I do think dating more then one person at the same time until you decide who to go steady with isn't wrong but it also isn't smart. I know you mentioned that you should only date as many as you can handle but it would still be an awkward situation (i. e. juggling time, messing up date times, name forgetting, important details mixed up). Also I think the people you are dating should know the situation they are in so they can also have the choice on whether they want to stay or leave. I haven't been put into that situation yet but I know I wouldn't like it and leave. Also the "women flake at high rates" comment is such bull. I hate flaking. I only accept cancellations if it's an emergency or I was given 24+ hours notice. Even with the 24+ hour notice I will only give 2 chances on. I once had a guy flake on me 3 times in one day with plans he made to hang out with me. I called him later that day at night and told him I was ending it.

    I remember one story where this guy setup 2 meetups/coffee dates on the same day within hours of each other. The first girl he met he ended up really liking but realized his time was going over and realized he had to end it before the next girl showed up because it would look bad. So he rapped it up and set an actual date with her later on that night. The next girl arrives without running into the previous girl. But 3 minutes into the guys second meetup/coffee date the previous girl comes back. Both girls realize what is going on and leave him there.

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  • It's beneficial to have some dating experience before getting into a relationship. From casual dating, you find out what you desire in a partner and in a relationship. However, I wouldn't like if a guy I'm actually getting serious with sees 5 other girls. I'd also never date multiple guys at the same time. It's just wrong lol.

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  • Nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as nobody thinks it's exclusive. That second part is important. The women you date need to know they can see other people too and shouldn't invest too much time and energy in just you.

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    • Many already do

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    • I guess that's ok, as long as it's not obvious she thinks it's more serious than it is. Of course it's her job to ask what's up if what she wants is an exclusive relationship, but it's really just a courtesy issue.

    • The Exclusivity conversation always comes up within weeks of dating..

  • Haaa haa haa, this is great i can understand both views of this! I actually get the how have options. I want to be free ranged to. its good to know the different types that are out their before picking, it's like buying a new phone. but I can see from the girls point of view to, this behavior would be okay In high school or a bachelor in collage. But after you are 21 it kinda immature. people that age are thinking about getting married settling down and having kids. you can't play the bachelor game. also that is a lot of unnecessary negative energy for those girls. they'll be weeping their heart out for weeks! So if you want to play that game say you're not ready to date and just hang out with the girls. it will not give a chance of heartbreak if it doesn't give an image of affection

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    • Lol no women are thinking of getting married and having their babies. Men can and should play the bachelors game.

  • You can not possibly get to know someone while dating others. You're not focused on that person and your attention is all over the place. Plus you have to lie if you don't want them knowing about others.
    I only date multiple guys if I'm not looking for anything and I'm bored.

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    • So you can only have one friend?

    • The other thing is I feel bad all these guys taking me out to dinner. I have friends in dating sites that get free meals 3 nights a week.
      Then I hate all these different " dates" trying to kiss me, get the usual hug to feel my big boobs, asking me to come in late at night. UGH

  • i don't do thst lol. I'm a one guy at a time kind of girl. If i do date you, I'd be serious about being with you and i wouldn't need any backup plans to make the rejection hurt less or anything.

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  • I mean, you can do whatever you want, but dating always seemed like more of a, for lack of a better word, sacred thing to me. If we're dating, I'm being exclusive, and to find that the man is not would probably end what could've been a wonderful relationship. And in the sense of only dates and not a relationship, If we've gone on more than one date, I want to see where things go, and would no longer be with the other people.

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  • "Hi, i explain how to be a total asshole that will never settle down because no woman wants me! I will probably also cheat on you and think i'm a tough alpha male all women desire! Women are sexual objects, yay!" Sums it up.

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    • It's so easy finding a girl to settle down with. But many aren't worth it.

  • i like rejection. i like facing it and dealing with it. its character building, and makes me feel like wow you're awesome, you handled that with class.

    ;p

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  • If I find out the guy I'm dating is also dating multiple girls, it would be over for me.

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  • Let me know ahead of time so I can get the hell out of dodge.

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  • JERK BEHAVIOR

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What Guys Said 44

  • 1. If women flake at very high rates in your world, you need to address your selection criteria. Yes, women do flake, that is undeniable, and it does happen more frequently when they are younger, but most girls don’t do that.

    2. If you date multiple women to give you a feeling of power, you should date multiple women and not commit to any serious relationship with anyone. When you are ready to abandon power as a goal, you will be more ready for a serious relationship.

    3. Dating more women means rejection is not as painful. For who? You? What about the women who you date 3-4 times and then reject them; how do they feel? Dating is not just about you.

    4. Dating multiple women may be fun for some guys. Knowing that many women desire you may give you an ego boost that you really need. When you become confident of your masculinity, you will not need that boost and you will see yourself as being a stronger male when you are settled into a committed relationship.

    5. “Women do it also.” Not all women are dating multiple men.

    Some people drive when they’re drunk. Some people have unprotected sex with strangers. Some people send naked pictures to people who should not be trusted. If you justify your behavior by pointing to what some other people are doing, you are confessing that you have no standards for your own conduct. Become a stronger man with moral fiber and you won’t need multiple women asking you to do the horizontal romance dance.

    @RJGraveyTrain is right on target with her response.

    You may dismiss my comments with some conclusion that I am a PW'ed old man. I have dated several women at once but never more than 3-4 dates. I quickly decide who is the best prospect for me and if she feels the same way about me, I say goodbye to everyone else. I did that about three weeks ago. I am dating just one woman now and it is a much better relationship!

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  • Good take

    This is one of the few times on GaG where I'll say just flat out ignore what the girls think, because they have a hypocritical train of thought on this. THEY expect to be able to pick and choose, yet hate it when the man can pick and choose (inevitably not choosing them).

    I juggled a few at a time when I was young, now I'm engaged to be married to a very special girl.

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    • U got married relatively young... butbecause u dated several women at once, you learned faster about what type of traits you like in a woman. 👍

  • Absolutely. Having options is extremely appealing, and creates dread, which keeps them focused - they don't want to lose you.
    One-itis leaves you no options, and looks like desperation. Women sense this a mile away.
    Besides, you need experience to be able to discern whether they're even worth your time and attention, to be able to judge whether they're a match or not.

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    • Thank you for commenting

  • People are reading this wrong and taking offense to this. Read his title. He mentions SINGLE MALES... not men who are taken/in relationships.

    Also... I used to do the same thing when I was single, and now I'm in a great relationship... so...

    media.giphy.com/media/14tvbepZ8vhU40/giphy.gif

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  • Yes, a guy should at least be talking to multiple girls, if only to make him less afraid of rejection and less likely to get oneitis.

    Girls here who say that's evil aren't thinking clearly. They imagine that tiny percentage of cases where they're completely in love with the guy, they forget (whether it's due to a lack of empathy or awareness/self-reflection) about all the other cases where there isn't a second date or things fizzle out before there's even a first date, or where it's only the guy who was interested in the first place. Sure the guy is an asshole if he keeps seeing other girls once you've made it clear you really want him, but that's not the situation that this myTake is about. It's about that early stage where he knows there's a >90% chance things won't go nowhere, or if you even like him back.

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    • Exactly, this is about the beginning stages.

  • I don't know, 6 dates? That's 6 dinner bills bro, I'm not playing monopoly here.

    Also I think you should be committed to one women at a time. Kinda seems close to cheating if it already isn't.

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    • You don't need to spend a lot. It's not cheating if you're committed.

    • You're not committed*****

  • I agree with the overall point, but this is a shallow take on it in my opinion. Yes, it's good for men to see multiple women. But it's also important for the guy to make that known to every single girl he is seeing so she knows what is up and can decide for herself if she's okay with it. Takes courage to be open about it and if you can't do that or you're too scared, then maybe you think you're doing something wrong and have no business seeing multiple women right now anyways.

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    • Sure, you can let her know, just be prepared to put her on the back burner for a while/play down her shit tests. Most women will not approve of it which leaves you with dwindling options unless you're out pulling women every night. That's fun but not practical if you hold a job and have other obligations. I never bring this up with women because I see it as my God given right to date whoever I choose whenever I choose to date her. A relationship is a different animal but dating is not a relationship.

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    • Like I'm not saying she should assume you two are exclusively dating by any means, without having a conversation about it. But that you can avoid a lot of problems by letting her know and she won't justifiably feel used or lied to.

    • The whole concept is a bit like fair trade coffee to me wherein a particular subsidized economy continues to be undercut by the prevailing laissez-faire free market altogether. It's a great idea in earnest but it's a bit of a prisoner's dilemma because if you and only a handful of people are doing it, everyone else that isn't doing it reaps the vast majority of the benefits (i. e. a guy like me comes along and pulls a girl that you're dating). Its intent is seemingly valiant upfront but it's far from reality and far from efficient. That analogy might not be spot on but it's pretty damn similar.

      I just don't buy it and I don't see the point in doing any of that in the first place. I have no qualms with dating various women at the same time as I'm not committed. Therefore, I feel no need to explain myself to her because I personally don't see anything wrong with it.

      We have different mindsets in regards to the subject, which is great. In fact, please do continue doing what you do.

  • ... Wow i just realized i've been doing it wrong my whole life. Every time i've liked that particular one, i have always stuck around till the crushing end. Knowing they are always taken... and when the next one catches my eye, i only concentrate on her, even though that one has always been taken as well... and again... and again... and well again.

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    • Trust this process my friend.

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    • @Prof_Don Hmmmm... im going to need a very big net indeed. Thank you for your advice and wisdom.

    • Glad I could help! 💡

  • I definitely agree that men or anyone shouldn't have oneitis..

    But my conscience would never allow me to date multiple girls at once. Talking to them sure, but I not dates.. Unless somehow both parties knew and it would be ok. It's also too much for me to handle.

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  • After all is said and done, dating multiple women or not is not a matter of "avoiding rejection", it's a matter of risk management. You wouldn't start a business without some sort of backup or contingency plan, so why should dating be any different. Yeah, it sucks that humans are reduced to a numbers game in order to optimize the odds, but there's already a saying for this: "don't hate the player, hate the game". From a logical standpoint, dating lots of women exponentially increases one's success rate, so it would actually be stupid NOT to do so. It's not a matter of principle, it's a matter of statistics. Both sexes do this, it's just reality.

    Everyone is trying to optimize their chances of happiness and the only way to do so is to play the field. Does it cause hurt feelings? Absolutely. Why? Because no one wants to think they aren't good enough.

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    • Exactly, purely numbers. Especially with something as fickle as human emotions, u HAVE to cover your ass in this dating game.

      A girl can wake up and say 'I don't like him anymore' and she will have NO way to explain how she feels... and women EXPECT us men to trust the emotions of women? 😂

  • I can see the benefit if the guy meets more than one girl , as dating can be tough and leads often don't work out a lot of the time. so it doesn't hurt to have more than one option.

    it can become a problem if things become serious with more than one of them , it can be ok to casually date more than 1 person but to get serious with more than 1 is going to cause problems

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  • You need to be unemployed to have time for that crap.

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  • In the sense of keeping your options broad and available (in other words, it's the same as NOT placing all your eggs in one basket) - yes, that DOES make sense, I do agree. It seems, that the readers may misunderstand this.

    In the sense of polygamy - no, at least not for me. I am monogamous.

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  • Hey dude, having one girl in your life is better than multiple. With one girl you get to know her and find out about her likes and dislikes. That is the beauty of having a girlfriend.
    If you have more than one girl at one time, you're not in a real relationship, you're just a guy who can't settle down. Girls don't want a guy who won't commit, they want to know that you will be there for them like when they had a tough day and want to be with you or if she just wants to be by your side.
    Sorry dude, but it ain't cool to have more than one girl because it ain't right. Plus, someone will get jealous and feel left out.

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  • I was satisfied with my girlfriend at the beginning and I'm still satisfied with her. We never kept our options open or played games with one another, we were open, honest and real with each other.

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    • Then you got lucky

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    • It's luck that you met her, and you happen to be compatible. There's a chance you have never met her

    • I chalk meeting her up to serendipity. And while you could pass that off as luck, her and I taking action had a lot more to do with us coming together and things working out for us than luck did.

      It's all about self empowerment

  • The general rule is, so long as you're honest about not wanting something 100% committed, you can do what you want. I've seen your other conversation and I agree with what you said about having to put down more passive aggressive behavior. But in my mind, if you want to date multiple women, that's the price you gotta pay. Besides, it's not like it's gonna be hard to do. After all, it's not like you're gonna REALLY REALLY want her to stay, as would be the case if it were committed.

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  • This applies to women too. You better shop around. Just don't make false promises. If you are dating multiple people, and there's nothing wrong with that, they are all entitled to know that.

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  • I don't talk to more than one girl at a time in terms of dating them. Let alone actually dating more than one girl at a time.

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  • Thank you

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  • It's true some guys do it. But the thing is that sooner or later the girls will find out because the planning and not mixing up the names will be difficult.
    Also I believe you can't compare 1 woman with another. Every person has his good and bad sides. If you can live with the mistakes your partner has then go for it. If you can't then just let him/her go and stop wasting each others time.
    For the guys it would be less painfull. But it hurts all the more for the woman when she finds out she's part of some sort of harem from the guy. Which results in the fact that she will be more guarded the next time and makes it harder for the right man for her to win her to his side.

    The message I would like to leave is "Don't mess up the girls." We men will allways be hunting for them and that kind of games will make it awfully hard for the rest to make that hunt successfull.

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