Why Dating Multiple Women is Extremely Important for Single Males (Page 2)
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It's beneficial to have some dating experience before getting into a relationship. From casual dating, you find out what you desire in a partner and in a relationship. However, I wouldn't like if a guy I'm actually getting serious with sees 5 other girls. I'd also never date multiple guys at the same time. It's just wrong lol.
I agree with the overall point, but this is a shallow take on it in my opinion. Yes, it's good for men to see multiple women. But it's also important for the guy to make that known to every single girl he is seeing so she knows what is up and can decide for herself if she's okay with it. Takes courage to be open about it and if you can't do that or you're too scared, then maybe you think you're doing something wrong and have no business seeing multiple women right now anyways.
Sure, you can let her know, just be prepared to put her on the back burner for a while/play down her shit tests. Most women will not approve of it which leaves you with dwindling options unless you're out pulling women every night. That's fun but not practical if you hold a job and have other obligations. I never bring this up with women because I see it as my God given right to date whoever I choose whenever I choose to date her. A relationship is a different animal but dating is not a relationship.
@bingbaddaboom
I've never had a girl give me shit for dating other girls, when they agreed to the terms going in ( aside from the odd girl that becomes unsatisfied with the situation and wants more). So I can't say most women will not approve. In my experience only like 1 or 2 women were not down for that situation at all and declined. Most women in my experience are down IF you're up front and own it. You're also telling her that you'll understand if she meets another guy or wants to see other men as well. It doesn't have to be a super clinical logical way of expressing it, but she should be informed of the situation if she's going to be a regular. If you just had a one night stand that's obviously not the same thing. But if you're seeing this girl, then she should be made aware sooner rather than later. Because just as it is your right to see whoever you wish, she has the same right as well and leading her to believe you're exclusive is in a way taking that from her.
@bingbaddaboom
The way I see it. You're either okay with what you're doing and are willing to risk her not being up for it. She can take it or leave it, because you're doing nothing wrong.
Or
You haven't fully accepted it yourself and feel like you need to hide it. Otherwise you assume she'll leave, because in your head there's no way she'd agree to seeing you if she knew about the other girls.
In a certain light what you are doing is great in that it exudes a certain confidence. In another light it also openly encourages her to date other men-- which she may or may not take you up on. What is certain is that you just planted a seed in her head that you are uber liberal. Just be aware that conditioned behavior often becomes habit and that can haunt you down the road.
I never qualify myself to women and I believe dating to be non-exclusive to begin with therefore I have no reason to feel like I'm hiding anything when it comes to that. Personally, I would also never encourage any woman to date other guys, that's just foolish in my opinion.
The one thing that I would agree with is that there comes a point in time when you have to decide whether or not you are going to go steady with the girl. If you are caught sleeping around while in a relationship, yeah, then you fucked up.
At the end of the day though, you do you and I do me. That's the beauty of this world we live in.
@bingbaddaboom
"What is certain is that you just planted a seed in her head that you are uber liberal. Just be aware that conditioned behavior often becomes habit and that can haunt you down the road."
You're right lol. That's why I only make it known in the beginning so I don't have to talk about it later lol. Like I don't emphatically encourage girls to see other guys, but I more say it in terms of "considering the situation IF you meet an awesome guy and we're not exclusive, then I'll try to understand emotionally.". It hasn't come back to bite me, in one sense. But I did run into issues initially with a girl who actively tried to make me jealous about another guy. It was more of an ego thing and she was trying to instigate me to want her and only her. She wasn't actually doing anything with him.
But yea, never meant to come across as condemning you brotha man. Do you for sure. Just my personal principle that it's right that the girl always knows what's up.
Like I'm not saying she should assume you two are exclusively dating by any means, without having a conversation about it. But that you can avoid a lot of problems by letting her know and she won't justifiably feel used or lied to.
The whole concept is a bit like fair trade coffee to me wherein a particular subsidized economy continues to be undercut by the prevailing laissez-faire free market altogether. It's a great idea in earnest but it's a bit of a prisoner's dilemma because if you and only a handful of people are doing it, everyone else that isn't doing it reaps the vast majority of the benefits (i. e. a guy like me comes along and pulls a girl that you're dating). Its intent is seemingly valiant upfront but it's far from reality and far from efficient. That analogy might not be spot on but it's pretty damn similar.
I just don't buy it and I don't see the point in doing any of that in the first place. I have no qualms with dating various women at the same time as I'm not committed. Therefore, I feel no need to explain myself to her because I personally don't see anything wrong with it.
We have different mindsets in regards to the subject, which is great. In fact, please do continue doing what you do.
I don't know, 6 dates? That's 6 dinner bills bro, I'm not playing monopoly here.
Also I think you should be committed to one women at a time. Kinda seems close to cheating if it already isn't.
You don't need to spend a lot. It's not cheating if you're committed.
You're not committed*****
... Wow i just realized i've been doing it wrong my whole life. Every time i've liked that particular one, i have always stuck around till the crushing end. Knowing they are always taken... and when the next one catches my eye, i only concentrate on her, even though that one has always been taken as well... and again... and again... and well again.
Trust this process my friend.
Well now you know! Date multiple girls at once, this is a much more efficient way to learn what u like in a woman. Gather that experience!
@Prof_Don Thats the thing though, how can you date multiple ones when i can't even have the chance to date one? The ones that i have always been interested in... are always taken, one way or another. And it gets really old, really fast.
Your luck will turn around, make sure to approach women all the time, and to not be too picky looks-wise. Don't only approach 8s, 9s & 10s
@Prof_Don I dont trust me i dont want to be with one thats a 8, 9, and 10... but inside they are a 1, 2, and 3. My thing is approach any woman or approach the women that you think, you would benefit from? I am 32... and i got a lot of grief with me, remember you can only move on too many times... before you call it quits... and so on.
Keep casting a wide net, and you will find a lady-fish. :)
@Prof_Don Hmmmm... im going to need a very big net indeed. Thank you for your advice and wisdom.
Glad I could help! 💡
I definitely agree that men or anyone shouldn't have oneitis..
But my conscience would never allow me to date multiple girls at once. Talking to them sure, but I not dates.. Unless somehow both parties knew and it would be ok. It's also too much for me to handle.
I can see the benefit if the guy meets more than one girl , as dating can be tough and leads often don't work out a lot of the time. so it doesn't hurt to have more than one option.
it can become a problem if things become serious with more than one of them , it can be ok to casually date more than 1 person but to get serious with more than 1 is going to cause problems
In the sense of keeping your options broad and available (in other words, it's the same as NOT placing all your eggs in one basket) - yes, that DOES make sense, I do agree. It seems, that the readers may misunderstand this.
In the sense of polygamy - no, at least not for me. I am monogamous.
I was satisfied with my girlfriend at the beginning and I'm still satisfied with her. We never kept our options open or played games with one another, we were open, honest and real with each other.
Then you got lucky
No, I just wasn't insecure, paranoid and distrustful. There's a huge difference.
None of that here my friend.
I never said that there was. What I said is that my girlfriend and I made it happen. It wasn't about luck, it was about honesty, trust and effort.
It's luck that you met her, and you happen to be compatible. There's a chance you have never met her
I chalk meeting her up to serendipity. And while you could pass that off as luck, her and I taking action had a lot more to do with us coming together and things working out for us than luck did.
It's all about self empowerment
Nothing wrong with dating multiple people as long as nobody thinks it's exclusive. That second part is important. The women you date need to know they can see other people too and shouldn't invest too much time and energy in just you.
Many already do
Irrelevant. Still needs to be made clear, or at least exclusivity should never be implied.
I just don't say anything, it doesn't even really come up until down the road anyways.
I guess that's ok, as long as it's not obvious she thinks it's more serious than it is. Of course it's her job to ask what's up if what she wants is an exclusive relationship, but it's really just a courtesy issue.
The Exclusivity conversation always comes up within weeks of dating..
The general rule is, so long as you're honest about not wanting something 100% committed, you can do what you want. I've seen your other conversation and I agree with what you said about having to put down more passive aggressive behavior. But in my mind, if you want to date multiple women, that's the price you gotta pay. Besides, it's not like it's gonna be hard to do. After all, it's not like you're gonna REALLY REALLY want her to stay, as would be the case if it were committed.
I mean, you can do whatever you want, but dating always seemed like more of a, for lack of a better word, sacred thing to me. If we're dating, I'm being exclusive, and to find that the man is not would probably end what could've been a wonderful relationship. And in the sense of only dates and not a relationship, If we've gone on more than one date, I want to see where things go, and would no longer be with the other people.
And it never occurred to you that these women who flake do it because your attention is clearly all over the place?
Be straight and respect.
If she is starting to play games then by all means throw her out of the window, but you can't expect respect from someone you are giving none.
If you want a woman to stay then give her a reason, not start looking for others because you already know you aren't making the cut.
Pussy boys.
"Hi, i explain how to be a total asshole that will never settle down because no woman wants me! I will probably also cheat on you and think i'm a tough alpha male all women desire! Women are sexual objects, yay!" Sums it up.
It's so easy finding a girl to settle down with. But many aren't worth it.
OMG I OBEY MY MASTER AND HE IS A MAN AND I SUCK HIS COCK EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN AND LOVE COCKS, and naive and sensitive and a prostitute for him loooool.
And he cheats on me BUHHUUUU IM SO SAD I HAVE TO TELL MY FRIENDS BECAUSS IM A PUSSY AND LIKE PINK COLORS
LMFAOOOOOOOOOO
i like rejection. i like facing it and dealing with it. its character building, and makes me feel like wow you're awesome, you handled that with class.
;p
i don't do thst lol. I'm a one guy at a time kind of girl. If i do date you, I'd be serious about being with you and i wouldn't need any backup plans to make the rejection hurt less or anything.
This applies to women too. You better shop around. Just don't make false promises. If you are dating multiple people, and there's nothing wrong with that, they are all entitled to know that.
If I find out the guy I'm dating is dating other girls I'm outie. I am the type of person who only has eyes for one person and I expect the same from him.
If that's truly the case, and you've dated a fair amount of men, and you knew how many of those men were dating other women at the same time... I can guarantee that you'd be appalled. I would also contend that if you dropped those other guys that date more than one and only continued with the other guys focusing on one woman at a time. You would soon realize that you in fact wanted the other guys that were dating several women, over the others. It's an economical principal of scarcity and supply and demand. This is not optional for men of value, it is absolutely necessary.
@bingbaddaboom I very much disagree with what you think I want. I'm a jealous person, I can admit that's probably one of my worst traits. I could not emotionally handle someone who does that.
Fair enough, I'd still argue otherwise (excl. one exception) because I've seen it happen over and over again. My point was that you would likely gravitate towards someone like that, not because it's what you want or what suits your own characteristics, but rather because that particular person demonstrates value as a mate--- he is desired and scarce. "We want what we can't have." Unless the other guy was a pretty damn good match for you and you clicked on all levels, then 9 times out of 10 the guy that only had his eye on you probably wouldn't last all that long.
It's situational anyhow so it's hard to project beyond experience.
I fully agree with this. I like to have multiple women at my beck and call. If I'm horny, I don't want to have to be put off because of a girls personal schedule. If I call one for sex and she can't make it, I go to the next one down the line. When I'm horny, I'm going to get laid.
I would never date multiple girls. Neither would I date a girl who is dating multiple men, whether she told me or not. It is clearly cheating and disloyal.