We all have ideas and opinions that are near and dear to our hearts, and naturally it is desired to find a long-term partner who is on par or accepts our beliefs. However, some things are best left unsaid on FIRST dates, or even the very beginning stages of getting to know each other.
The important thing is to put your best self forward and find the great things that make you both click personally. In some cases, some information is simply not an issue and it isn’t until many dates later (or longer) that something important about you is then discovered.
Your first date, and the early stages of your relationship should grow based on the chemistry you share. After that, the serious side of what you believe in, or even your kooky idiosyncrasies can be shared or found out later – but by then, you might have found the right partner for you!
Here are the six topics that shouldn't be discussed on first date:
1. “I’m a feminist.”
Almost guaranteed not to score you a second date. When women tell each other this fact, we can fill in the blanks with what aspect of feminism we stand for. If the woman is simply a global feminist and she just believes women worldwide shouldn’t be denied basic human rights – that is much different than a woman who acts locally who attends marches and may even view feminism with no wiggle room for Red Pill views. The discussion might be too deep for a first date.
2. “I’m MGTOW.”
You likely aren’t on the date to begin with, but having to explain which level of MGTOW you are is a bit too much for a woman to handle immediately. You as a MGTOW man (willing to date) will probably get cues from the woman if she’s traditional, modern, or fiercely independent. Instead of declaring what you are not willing to tolerate from women, decide what you will accept (it comes across a lot more sensitive). Women are sensitive creatures by nature and they want to find open-doors in relationships instead of closed ones.
3. “I’m atheist.”
Atheism still has a stigma of negativity, immorality, and in some cases – evil depending on what degree of religious the other person is. People who don’t understand atheism tend to start comparing and imagining a life with someone who may seem intolerable to what is important to them as far as faith goes. Atheists willing to get involved with religious or non-religious people don’t require sharing this information so soon if it’s not going to be as important.
4. “I’m religious.”
If your date is not religious, or not religious as much as you are, making it clear that your beliefs rule your life automatically make the other person feel like they will always at least come second, and their wants and needs have to be below your religion. If your date is religious – great! They will understand that your religion take precedence in your life. But are you willing to deny love if someone you are attracted to and can see a life with doesn’t share your beliefs? If this person seems to be everything you want, then let the relationship progress for a few dates before making your religion be known how important it is to you.
5. “I’m in therapy.”
People who have overcome life’s obstacles such as mental illness, substance abuse, family/domestic violence, rape, and anything else traumatic often find that their recovery has been beneficial and are encouraged to talk about it. Think of Alcoholics Anonymous when the key is all about “sharing”. The problem is, when the person is ready to date – “sharing” might not be a terrific thing to do with something so intimate about your personal mental progression. Someone who has never experienced these things might assume that their role in your life is going to be a human life preserver. Let them get to know the you beyond the recovery on the first date.
6. “I need to have my fetish needs met.”
Whether you like to dress up like a baby and have your diapers changed, being whipped with a cat o’nine tails, or being cuckolded – revealing such personal sexual information about yourself tells the other person that you hold that in higher regard than you do any other compatibility you might share, and puts them in a position to feel as though they might be pressured to engage in your fetish in order to make you happy. Most people can agree that sexual information of all kinds is not necessary on a first date. Save it when you get to the point in your relationship when you share sexual health history.
The Goodnight Kiss Parting Words
If these things are absolutely necessary to discuss in order to decide whether you can imagine spending a long-term commitment with – perhaps they should be said prior to the first date. However, you might be pleasantly surprised what kind of ground you can cover on a first date when you leave these sorts of topics off the table, focusing on light conversation and recognizing your chemistry beyond it.