Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
60Opinion
Maybe I'm just a simple person but here I am thinking the person just wanted to be nice. I've had many people buy me meals not just males that were sexually interested in me. Friends, coworkers, etc. nad then I will repay them by paying for the next meal.
LOL, talk about naive. This is why a lot of women are shocked when they get older and stuff like that no longer happens...
@Truthatanycost then I'll just buy myself stuff. I already have a really good job
Freeloading until wrinkles. Niice.
I can't help it if someone is stupid enough to be a doormat to buy me things. If they're stupid enough to buy me something, I won't deny them. I don't plan on having children so I won't be getting stretch marks, and I'll have extra money to spend on skin care products. Trolling the rejection filled men on GAG is a favorite activity of mine. Those idiots take the bait every damn time.
Goodtake. My views on it is that women who expect a man to pay are good only for a pump and dump and not a relationship. I've no intention of replacing some spoile woman-child's father. Women need to pay their way this isn't 1950. Equal rights mean equal responsibility and an end to special treatment. Women with that sexist men are walking ATMS bring nothing to a relationship and will end up as old spinsters once they are past their prime and no longer hold the same value on the sexual marketplace.
If a woman wants a traditional husband then she will have to be a traditional wife, with dinner on the table, the house spotless, laundry done and kids taken care but most high maintaince women who want that have no traditional women's skills and don't want to and will refuse to learn them.
This is really simple to deal with.
1. Stop chasing after gold-digging sluts. Instead, go after the genuine, good-hearted women. There are plenty out there, man.
2. Stop going on expensive dates, especially in the beginning. The right girl won't give a shit if you paid $10 for some coffee and scones vs dropping a hundred bucks at some stuffy restaurant.
I wouldn't pay to date men when I can have casual sex with hot guys. This is the honest to god truth. It's more of a supply and demand thing with sex that's stacked in the women's favor.
I wish I was a woman. Its so easy. Lol
I'm pleasantly surprised by your answer. I thought you would troll me.
I would. But i like your tag name. Lol. Plus, you made a good point.
Yup women should stop pretending that dating isn't much easier for them
@bekkesmash
Who's pretending? Lol
@Apope16
I finally get what you're saying. You're afraid of women who use you for free meals and drinks but have no interest in dating you. You just need to be better at avoiding these women. Just like I need to be good at avoiding men who have no interest in getting to know me and just want sex.
Don't drag feminism into it, this has nothing to do with gender equality. A lot of guys naturally want to provide for women and us women know that. We use it to gauge a man's interest in us. That's why you will put women off (women who are genuinely interested in you) if you have this conversation on the first date.
A lot of women say dating is just as hard for women
@bekkesmash I don't think either sex needs each other anymore. Women have vibrators. Guys blow up dolls.
i didn't read all of what you put down. not just cuz i have adhd and physically couldn't make myself read all of that, but because i don't see a point. if a girl asks a guy, she would pay. if a guy asks a girl, he would pay. usually the asker pays because it's them asking someone for "company" or to take part to something
also, i don't care how much money a guy has. he could be as rich as bill gates or the total opposite and i honestly wouldn't care cuz i don't determine my sexual attraction and who i want to give it to based on how much money a guy has
just like the saying "money can't buy happiness" yah well, money can't buy sexual attraction with many people
Hmm... nah. After age 30 money does buy sexual attraction and even marriage. A lot of fat, sweaty, wrinkly, bald patch headed, rich assholes out there that treat their ladies like crap. You not caring about the wallet is a rare breed. There are plenty of very kind and gentlemanly McDonald's workers out there. Im sure saying i flip burgers and love my job would go well on a date. I've personally been poor and grown to be successful. So many women who friendzone me treat me different now. Hmmm... i wonder why.
But the guy almost always asks so...
@Apope16 maybe it's just because i'm only 17 where money doesn't really buy my attraction in guys. but maybe when i'm older it would, maybe it wouldn't still, I don't know
@bekkesmash what does the guy always ask? for sex?
It's easy for a girl to make the point that the one who asks pays everything, because men are the ones asking the girl out 95% of the time. Just ask yourself the question how it is 'fair' that men are expected to still pay in a time where women are out-earning men in their 20's and are attending college at a gender ratio of 60-40. Then, perhaps, you will come to the conclusion that it isn't fair at all that the man should still be in this day and age.
Load of tripe.. I take somebody out, I invite them, i buy dinner. I expect no payment in ass.. absolute bullshit, Are there guys like that, yes, and they are assholes, I assume that the women that go out on theses dates are smart enough to tell the difference.. I also buy dinner, because I want to go someplace I like, and my date may not be able to afford it.. If my date complains that I am paying for it, I always offer them the chance to split the bill. "Paying for ass, not a date" triggered bullshit. Lumping guys like me as ass seekers.. It is like saying Women that complain that buy in dinner is a ploy to get your your pants are lesbian.. Obviously untrue and my apologizes to the LGBT community for the example..
This post is so argumentative and angry and loaded with Misandry
I pay if I ask her out, seems fair, cause I'm the one who asked her for her time. Its a gesture to say I appreciate it. If its mutual or if I'm asked out, I usually don't.
I don't think of it as chivalry or something so grand.
The Chivalric Code was a code of honor between knights and how to conduct their duties. Its not meant to be some dame's fantasy about how a man should stoop to conquer. This word has been grossly misused. Its not nearly as glamorous as people make it out to be.
I get asked out by women. Then they expect me to pay. Lol.
True lol... a women giving signs she wants to be asked out and me asking her out is the same thing lol...
@TripleAce Guess I'm one of the more fortunate ones then.
Well even if you get asked out lol... it's not like she's actually ok with paying... maybe like once.. but women that are in demand are waaaaay too conditioned to even think she should...
I've had a lot of women pay.. actually more than Id expect.. but it's never with no strings attached lol... like if one day we get into a fight hahah it comes out 'oh and I even paid for you arhhh'
lol
@TripleAce yeah its an interesting debate. If you reverse the expectations of men and women its fascinating. like, tell someone you want to be a stay at home dad... or a nanny...
Another person confusing equal with identical here.
Honestly, you are supposed to split the bills. The one who offers the date/gives the treat has to pay.
I'm tired of bullshit already. All women who want men to pay in dates aren't gold diggers. Do you even know what a gold digger means?
Not supposed to*
Why do you want us to pay then? You have full right to say no if you know you can't afford to split the bill. And IF the guy becomes DESPERATE and CONSTANTLY harasses you until you say yes, THEN expect him to pay the bill. Because in that case, he probably will anyway and he is fully responsible. If he expects to split the bill after, THEN say to him fuck you and dump his ass. Men shouldn't be so desperate in the first place. Horrible what they'll do just to get a girl in the bedroom/under their control. But if he asks once and you say yes, then you are consenting. And the bill should be split.
Okay, so tell me exactly what benefits men have in dating? You realize that these etiquette's were made in times that women had no solid income. Women were reliant on men paying for them. Today, women in their 20's on average out-earn men. Yet women have grown accustomed to these etiquette's. And I'm done hearing these lame excuses like 'whoever asks the person out pays' when guys still today do 95% of the initiating. A lame excuse to keep your wallet full or stroke your ego perhaps? Bad women can use men whenever they want. A man just needs to get lucky that he doesn't meet a bad person who will screw him over. I see nothing equal in that.
I agree for the most part. If a dude is a true feminist/equalist and that shows in how he treats me and other women, I'm happy to split the check or take turns picking up the tab. If he wants to retain certain gender roles that benefit him, though... nah, not happening. So basically, "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." There are guys out there who only want equality when it benefits them, too.
Exactly. It's a two way road. There's a reason I actually look for feminists instead of making fun of them and trolling them. It's worth the patience for a better relationship.
If you change the headline this will be a much more attractive article.
And no, not all sexes are created equal, they're created differently to each be more likely to condition better to certain things, of course as you clearly want it to be in your imagination, you're entitled to that pattern of thought. But you're wrong.
Asker obviously lives in a fantasy bubble. It's not going to change.
Lol! nice!
But seriously, apope16 Quit this guilt shit. Get on your game, you don't have to sell us out because "muhfeels"
lol well yeah plenty of guys have told me how they got laid buying girls food and drinks, especially vodka girls like that for some reason and they are much more into sex after drinking it.
paying for a girl is buying that girl its as simple that thats why some men pay, TO GET LAID , if you're not my girlfriend, fiance or wife i have no reason to pay for you unless i want sex.
Of course it's buying her... --> which is clearly why rich guys can get girls... it's really not a coincident
I met a girl that literally made it clear her last boyfriend paid for everything... clothes, dinners, gas, being her chauffeur... I was like get the F outta here lol... This girl is damaged goods...
When a guy asks a woman for a date, he's inviting her to be his guest. As a 'guest', she shouldn't have to pay for ANYTHING. I always considered it an honor that a woman would spend time with me, and paying for dinner shows her that I'm being considerate of her. If I happen to get sex out of the whole thing, that's fantastic, but what I want is just some companionship.
It is not buying her. It's the gentleman thing to do. Females who aren't gold diggers and users appreciate it.
Thank you!!! It's saddening to see how many cheap ass guys with inferiority complexes are on here who bitch about having to pay for dates.
@bronzergirl u are gold digger. The reason we are so cheap cuz we want to keep credit report great instead of buying a lot and watch credit report destory.
@bronzergirl We don't mind paying as long as we will be repaid with a good night of sex.
@Tiger288 Haha I love it 😂 Cheap guys justifying their greed and inferiority complex by saying that we're golddiggera for demanding chivalry haha.
lets look at this from a logical stand point , i as a guy noticed a gil showing interest in me, we start talking and texting we both hint at going out and finally i go for it and ask her ot hang out, she says yes and we go for a walk at the beach, then suddenly she's hungry or thirtsty or the moonlight put her in the mood to drink... why should i pay for tha? i already picked her up and paid for gas, i didn't invite her to a resturant or promisse her to buy her food or drinks, so what forces me to pay? being a gentlmean? well we have doing just fine without being like that and losing money on random girls, besides women dont like gentlemen anyways.
i will pay under two conditions : 1- i promissed to pay or 2- i know iam getting something in return , otherwise she can pay for herself, if she's not my girlfriend she's not my responsibility, plenty of women date lots of men at the same time iam not planning on being one of her bitches and lose money doing that.
@bronzergirl Ok. Listen here. Guys who both don't harass women to go on dates and want a split bill are ACTUALLY the ones superior. There's good reason behind it too. If a guy asks once for somebody to date after getting to know them and they say yes, it's then both consent. If they agree to split the bill, it makes them BOTH more independent, therefore, BOTH superior. Girls dependent on the guy to pay, no matter what, are the ones inferior because they have to rely on a guy's money rather on their own. So saying that we are bitching about it is BS. It's actually just support for women to be more empowered. To have a superior man AND woman makes the couple more superior than a superior man and a women depending on that superiority. Also, the women depending on the man's superiority sort of relationship is old school. Old ways are less developed. They don't work as well. They aren't modern and there is less logic to them. And it's leaning toward the time of dumb cavemen. Move on.
@Z-Spark You don't have to pay for her food. If you don't want to, don't. Most males on the other hand do. Most females accept guys paying for their food. Me on the other hand, I don't. I do not want people buying me stuff. If they offer, I decline unless they keep insisted, but for the most part I pay for my own stuff.
so far i haven't paid for any girl cause girls dont let me, unlike most guys i dont act like iam begging to be used and girls pick up on that and pay for themselves , other men (been there when it happened) acted like they are "providers" and offered to pay one time the bell came 150$ and that guy had only 60$ on him... needless to say he got embarassed, i dont put myself in such situations and so far girls have been even offering to pay for me, actually one girl paid for me twice despite me telling her not to, iam not saying that paying for girlrs is a serious problem for me cause its not even an issue...
but for most men it is
It would be the gentlewoman to pay me a meal, you know? Why don't you ask me out, and pay my meal for me? I mean, women are after all out-earning men today, and the college gender ratio is 60-40 in favor of women. I mean, if anything, the gender role-patterns should be reversing! Be a gentlewoman, and pay my meal for me! (Yes, you heard it right, men payed the dinner for women because they didn't have a solid income in the 20th century. Mind blown!) Lastly, females who 'aren't gold diggers and users appreciate it' so basically men are supposed to take a leap of faith. If they get used? Tough shit. So this is the equality feminism has promised! Very impressed.
@Svennedude2 Sorry that you're too much of a bitch boy to understand what it's like to be a gentleman. :/
It's more of a matter of social norms. It's both sexes that are guilty of following them. For instance what you said about paying for meals. But now look at it the other way around. I know women who, like their husbands, they work full time jobs. By because of social norms, they are expected to have dinner made and take care of the kids after a long day of work. Of course there are exceptions to the norms.
Times have changed though. Women are out-earning men in their 20's, and they are gender ratio in college is 60-40 right now. It's about time that we start adjusting to the 21st century when it comes to dating. A lot of people are still stuck in 20th century dating, because it benefits their wallet, or because they enjoy the ego stroke. I have to admit as a guy it's even hard for me when I'm on a date. If I don't pay, it automatically feels as if Implying that I'm not interested in her.
I'm not saying that gender norms are ok, but it's hard to get rid of. It also goes the other way around. I don't feel comfortable having a guy pay for everything at the beginning of a relationship. But some even feel insulted if you turn it down. I do agree that people should just get used to the changes and not get hung up in the past.
Certainly. Something that comes to mind is that the media has never pointed us in the right direction. From Hollywood to News Networks, when have they given clear guidelines to modern dating? I in fact believe a lot of matchmakers still believe in traditional stereotype role patterns when it comes to modern dating. At the end of the day, it's not the end of the world that I pay, but it feels like an injustice in the back of my head that I pay all because I am a man. Especially because I believe that men and women should equally do the chores in the house.
Of course it isn't Chivalry for it to be Chivalry, Chivalry would have to actually do with women. When in reality it doesn't, the only mention of women in the entire code of chivalry is to treat them with respect.
Everything else in the doe deals with the battlefield, single combat and the duties of a knight.
Paying for someone's meal is a gentlemanly gesture, nothing more, nothing less.
I like your wit.
Thank you.
I don't see why this is a problem. These women are easy to avoid!
For every one woman looking for a relationship and expecting to get paid for on a first date, there is one woman who will gladly put out for free. Ignore/cutoff the girls who are looking for relationships and dive in for women looking to have to have fun.
Hell @raspberry0416 just said what I said...
Only works if you're hot enough
And if you're not looking for a relationship
@raspberry0416 I dunno, I think I am. I am getting regular dates but I really don't like rating myself so. #2 yes!
So don't pay. Come on, I dare you to if actually believe this. You know what will happen? You'll look extremely rude and put off most women. Buying her dinner is not buying her, it's just a social convention, and if you do it a woman may or may not want another date with you. It really comes down to if you have a good personality, but not buying her dinner will just make her think you're cheap,
I pay out of principle, however she better show me that she's thankful otherwise I won't be seeing her again.
I pay because I feel like providing, simple as that. I don't do it out of some fear like you seem to do. I would happily not pay if I wanted to. I don't give a shit if a woman who earns as much as me thinks I'm cheap because I didn't pay for her, she's the cheap one.
@Kkaos I don't do it out of fear, I do it because I try to be a gentleman, not just on dates but in life in general. I agree that it would be nice if she showed thanks, but you shouldn't expect her to be thankful if the rest of the date goes horribly and you act like an ass
If the date went horribly I would pay if I felt responsible for that. But I wouldn't act like an ass to begin with, I'm not an idiot. However another personal rule that I have is that I only pay for a girl at the end of the date if I'm happy with her commitment during the date. I wouldn't pay for her if she was on her phone the whole time for example. Relationships are a two way street and neither should take anything anyone does for granted.
You will come across women who will try to use you, trust me. And if you're ok with that, cool. But just be careful. I once had a friends with benefits who was stringing a guy a long the whole time because he kept buying her things. The whole time this poor dude was thinking he was treating her and she was showing him affection, little did he know that she was laughing about him behind his back whilst having sex with other guys. The most this dude ever got was a kiss on the cheek.
Lol. Yeah. Its a fun debate. Good for drinks with a lady group. Only if you dont want to date them. If you do... talk netflix instead
Thank you OP!!! Finally a guy admits that guys who complain and bitch about paying are just cheap asses.
@bronzergirl So what you are saying? Is a man who is poor is not deserving of love? Also, splitting a check is not what I wold regard as "cheap". Freeloading and not paying anything is cheap.
Jokes on you because I never go out for dinner on the first date.
In all seriousness though, it does depend a lot on the guy. My boyfriend (we're together for 3 months now) has always insisted on paying for everything since the first time we met. Even now, when we do split a bill, I have to kind of force him to let me pay for myself. He isn't expecting anything from that, he just likes spoiling me.
But I've also went on dates who always wanted to split so I guess there's both sides.
The article is not limited to dinner. it could be anything. On first dates i do an activity or a drink.
My guy and I take turns paying for dates. Whenever we go to dinner and a movie, he will buy dinner and I will pay for the movie, plus all the treats. He will buy dinner, I buy dinner, we take turns, because it is an equal partnership. It has been that way, since our first date.