The Double Standards of Women in Dating: The Hypocrisy of Equality

Recently, I have been on a dating website and (unlike most guys), I have been blessed to receive messages from several different women at the same time.

One woman in particular was overweight, had only an average attractive looking face, but had a great personality. I was bothered by her answering a question stating that she expected men to pay for meals during the dating process, but I messaged her anyway. Because, why not give her a shot right?

After we start talking we hit it off. She text'd me a half nude pic which I obviously liked. The next day, she texts me saying that we should meet up for a date. I respond with, "Are you asking me out on a date?" This was a joke but also meant to clearly show that she was the asker. She responded with a meme that said, "What's the point?" I agreed to go on a date with her.

The next day she sends me a message asking, "So what are we going to do?" I was surprised by this because SHE asked ME out. So she should be the one making plans. So I suggested that we just meet up for some drinks. People who ask to meet for coffee rather than the night life are asking to be friendzoned. Just letting you know guys..

Instead of being cool with my idea, she demands, "We should go to a show." I said there might be a comedy show. Turns out the season hadn't started. I messaged with this info. At this point I'm pissed off. She asks ME out, will expect ME to pay, then wants ME to set plans, and then rejects my plan for something else she wants me to pay for?

True equality among the sexes must also be cultural equality. Instead, women want it both ways. They want government equality while at the same time benefiting from cultural inequality.

It is time for men to treat women as equals. Time to split checks. Time for separate married bank accounts (which protect women too). Time for prenuptial agreements. Time for Dads have equal claim for kids in divorce. Time for women to court men & women to buy flowers. Time for women to ask for sex.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Face it guys, have the responsibility to court the woman and work to get the pussy. Don't like it be gay then

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    • So you're saying guys only date for the sex?

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    • from what medieval dungeon did your ideas come from? if you were a man everyone would call you sexist and a misogynist. but even as a woman you are a misogynist and not just a misandrist. you present us as entitled princesses, and pussies who can't make a move, and imply we sell ourselves as commodities... .

Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell her your not interested in a flake and move on.
    Gotta stop treating women who don't deserve it, well. And 99% don't deserve it.
    You should know that they want you to treat them badly. That's why they so love bad boys. If they wanted to be treated well, nice guys would finish first and bad boys would finish last.

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What Girls Said 26

  • Why didn't you simply tell HER your thoughts on her actions?
    Society's more/less agreed on the idea that whoever invites, pays; whoever's hosting, cooks. Yes, most first date's tend to be by the man's initiation--but she broke script, then refused to play by the new one. That's on her. But don't generalize and think that all women pull this shit.

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    • Agreed, that is why I said "Lousy" take. :D

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    • I hate double standards yet humans do it why?

  • Sounds like you are mad because you wanted a slim woman, with a sexy face.

    If you didn't like the way she looked why did you even go forward with this.

    LOL this post is the most stupid thing I read in my life.

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    • No, what he is mad about is that this woman is acting as if she is entitled, as if she is in higher demand then she is and expecting him to do the work even though we live in a society that claims they want equality (clearly not). Their is a difference. Its acting as if your a 10 when your a 5, that was the issue.

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    • @hellionthesagereborn No but seriously now, shutup.

    • @Alexistheman333 In the immortal words of Jordan Peterson, "Your a child, what the hell do you know? You have never lived on your own, had a real job or real responsibilities how can you possible claim to know anything?". So yeah, maybe don't act like an idiot, which is just good life advice in general really, maybe keep that in mind when you grow up and have to function in the real world.

  • So your primary concern is "I want a woman to pay for meals" and "why can't a woman buy ME flowers?" With a subject as serious as inequality, you make it sound so trite. Yeah sure *some women* get flowers and treated to dinner. But the stats for rape and molestation? Through the roof, especially if we account for race. I would like for women to be equal in every respect. But let's not imply the benefits you perceive women to have in dating override the harassment, abuse and general disrespect most women experience in their lifetime.

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    • Yet men get assualted and murdered far more than women. You say that has nothing to do with dating, well neither does rape and molestation most the time.

  • How would you honestly feel though if a woman asked you on a date, picked you up, bought you flowers, paid for everything, and then asked for sex but negatively judged you if you gave in too soon? Because I feel like a lot of men really are more comfortable with their traditional gender roles, and it's not just women's fault that things haven't changed.
    (Of course, my above example is an exaggeration, and there are definitely ways to do truly equal dating, like splitting the check, mutually agreeing on what to do, nobody pressures the other for sex, etc. I was just making a point.)

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    • if a guy did all that and DIDN'T ask for sex, then he's a beta male pussy who gets freind zoned. there's literally no in between with girls.

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    • London. Horrible place :(

    • @Alexistheman333 Oh well I was wondering because that doesn't sound much like where I'm from (USA).

  • Girl you don't like enough messages you
    You don't care to impress her
    She still expects you to impress her
    Your options: don't bother with her, try to get better girls (requires effort on your part and you will probably be rejected a lot), or put up with her as she is

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    • This is sage advice!

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    • LOL! What's not to like? When I read the original post, all I could think was, "you say you get messaged by several women, then you say an overweight, unattractive woman messages you and you set up a date? WHY?" I always thought the first rule of dating is "go toward that which attracts you." I think you nailed it with the options. The clear answer is both option 1 and 2--don't bother with her and try to get better girls. But that should've been clear long before the meet up.

    • What I do...

      Put up with her as she is and post my reservations as a my take so othher people dont do it in the future.

      Point is what?

  • While yes, a lot of women like to feel special + treated well by a man (i. e. man pays for her dinner, he buys flowers, etc)- this one woman in particular is over the top.
    HOWEVER, you should recognize something about that woman. You said she was average looking AND she texted you a partial nude picture off the bat. That says it all right there:
    This woman doesn't have good or many experiences with men (and I don't mean slept with). She doesn't know how to treat a man or exactly how a man should treat her. She is literally making it up as she goes along.
    -It's no different from a shy/average guy who hasn't dated much to screw up attracting a potential girlfriend.-
    That being said, she isn't right for you anyway.

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  • I only read the end and that's why so many people are getting divorced these days because of people like you. If you want everything split why get married at all. Prenups start a marriage on the basis of distrust. Guaranteed failure. Marriage literally is sharing your life with someone and becoming one unit. You are obviously single for a reason and don't have the first clue about women. You are too immature to be dating or to marry.

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    • @burpzzzzz that means 70 percent of men are the ones that have pushed the woman in a state she needs to run away from them.

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    • @Smoothshave Don't marry American women, American women are bitches. European ones are much better.

    • People shouldn't keep tabs on each other but women are DEMAND their partner to do more housework when he is a major provider or only provider of the house hold. What man in his right mind want to marry women like you? A maid is cheaper.

  • "Time for Dads have equal claim for kids in divorce."

    That's government equality.

    And I largely agree as long as the dad contributes extra during the pregnancy and childbirth to try to make the childbearing process at least somewhere near equal.

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    • Men do have equal rights to their children in court for the most part. The reason why it's so skewed is only 1/3 of men actually want custody of their children. All these horror stories guys tell aren't telling the complete truth

      One of my coworkers has full custody of his daughter because his baby mama is completely crazy. Men who actually want custody of their children and can prove in court they're fit to be parents have no problem getting split custody or full custody if they can also prove the mother isn't fit to be a parent

      Another guy I work with has 5 different baby mamas. He financially supports all of them, but the kids live with their mothers because everyone agrees that's best

    • @Idonthaveausername Bingo. Few men want to be single dads, and most agree that mom should have custody. I'm sorry but most men just are not as attached to their kids as women are. After all, they did not carry them inside their bodies for 9 months, nurse them, or (typically) bear the brunt of child care. I'm not saying there aren't times when the dad SHOULD get custody (and do), but most of the time they just don't want it.
      I'm sick of hearing men saying the wage gap is fake (which for the most part, I believe it is), while claiming this b. s. about custody rights, which is mostly fake for similar reasons as the wage gap.

  • I thought we got over this issue a long time. I always at least offer to pay the bill, unless we have an understanding prior that we alternate paying. I have had gone on dates where it offended the guy's sensibilities if I offered to pay. I don't generally ask guys out but that has more to do with me being insecure then anything to do with what's proper. Not so much on the flowers thing though, I think women do the same thing in just a different form. I don't know too many guys who would like flowers. But, I know plenty of guys who have recieved tickets to hockey games, or who's girlfriends slave away over a hot stove so their friends had snackes for guy's nigh. Same thing different form.

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  • nah she's a total douche. woman or man, no matter. in my books women still have to be charming, generous, sweet and adventurous. they have to try. i know girls like her and they are DOUCHES that I avoid like the plague. and so should you. no touchie!

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  • The fact that you talk as if all women are the same is incredibly off-putting and condescending

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    • kind of like how when girls say "ugh ALL guys are all assholes who use girls". Even though some guys in this world are virgins.

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    • It's actually pretty common.

    • @burpzzzzz which part?

  • Not every girl is going to a bitch like that, some like it traditional and chivalrous while others will be cool going Dutch and having separate accounts. They'll want a more progressive guy.

    We live in an ever-changing world man full of people with different ideas of how to get along, and yeah some will be bitches.

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    • 99% of chics are like this. If this was a random incident I wouldn't post this. This is common. Women's number one shit test is picking dinner..."i dont know..." riiiight.

  • I don't even want equality if this is what happens to relationships. 馃槀

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  • "Time for women to court men" - which was what she did... but I think that anyone who ask another person out, but expect ye, yardless of gend

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    • Excuse my malfunctioned keyboard...

      "Time for women to court men" - which was what she did... but I think that anyone who ask another person out, but expect the other person to pay, lacks social etiquette, regardless of gender.

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    • It's cool. I write typos all of the time.

    • Yes. If you ask someone out. Its pretty bad if you don't offer to pay a dime. I'd say in my longest dating relationship (1 year and 2 years) I offered to split the meal in the early stages before being official. It set the terms early. For whatever reason, it worked out for me. But not offering to pay at all is shocking. That has been my experience and as a guy I have felt used.

      Actually, literally last night I was with two extremely hot blonde female co workers. They were twins. And they openly talked to the other ladies in the group that they flirt with guys to get free meals and drinks. Right in front of me!

  • If we are still fighting about equalities and feminism men and women might hate each other more and more and till the end, the human race has gone extinct.

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  • I get what you're saying. I think both men and women should be able to ask someone out and when they do, THEY should be the one planning it. I guess this post can be linked with feminism as feminism is not saying girls are better than boys, but that both sexes are equal. Its interesting how many people don't understand how feminism doesn't just positively affect women. Feminism means recognising that men can also be raped. Feminism means a women getting the same consequence for a crime as a man committing the same crime (not less). Feminism means both genders being able to have a job or stay at home if they want. Feminism means both genders paying on dates. Feminism is equality. Feminism is not women > men but women = men

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    • e路gal路i路tar路i路an
      i藢伞al蓹藞ter膿蓹n/Submit
      adjective
      1.
      relating to or believing in the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities.

      "Its Tuesday therefore feminism means _________!"

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    • @hellionthesagereborn. Your wasting your breath. You can't educate an atheist. Stupid is what stupid does.

    • @Djaaay Yes, I probably am but I have to try.

  • Honestly, both genders do hypocrisy.

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  • Thank GOD, i ve never met a jerk like u...
    Nobody owe u anything, cope with that!
    If u can't afford to pay for meal for ur girlfriend-then u will never get one

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    • So he isn't owed anything but women are? I'm sorry but I don't follow that reasoning.

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    • What are you doing to show that he is not a paycheck but a potential partner? Nothing, you are doing nothing. Why not just get a hooker then? I mean they are probably cheaper and they are absolutely going to give sex unlike you who will absolutely take his money and then probably give nothing back. If he has to prove himself to you why don't you have to prove yourself to him? Because its inconvient for you to do so. If you did that then it wouldn't be a one sided situation now would it? You would actually have to do something for some one else and that thought is revolting to you, to have to earn a persons affections, to have to prove your worth to him. Personally I have no problem with a man paying, I have a problem with women who take take take and then expect that they shouldn't have to give anything in return. That's called entitlement, the very thing you said men should not have, perhaps because you want to keep that entitlement for yourself.

    • In short, he pays for your time, that makes you an escort, and considering that your not putting out it makes you a pretty shitty one, your failing twice.

  • Great

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  • try to find someone who's on the same page as you, and shares the same expectations of a potential relationship

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What Guys Said 32

  • 1. Women like men to take care of things, whether it be the garbage disposal that isn't working (true story yesterday, took 10 seconds to fix) or arrangements for a date.

    2. "People who ask to meet for coffee rather than the night life are asking to be friendzoned." Hardly. I NEVER EVER have a first date as night life. The entire purpose of a first date is to get to know the other person. That can be coffee, quiet dinner, or any number of one on one activities, but it NEVER involves anything distracting from each other. After we have decided we enjoy each other's company, then we can go on dates for mutual entertainment.

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    • I think you bring up some great points. Number 2 is a good one. I would say it is best among people you know or have met in person... classmates, co workers... friends... but every now and then that person is a complete stranger.

      I think it is okay to say to a woman "hey let's hang out". Then hang out and go from there. This is good if you have just met a woman on the street or at random. But you want to be careful with that. Depending on the circumstance, she may friendzone you from the get go.

      A lot of these peeps on here are making comments assuming that I am some non-social loner who only asks chics out online. I am a ladies man who uses different mediums for asking out and dating. Most recently it was an art event. That was a good time. lol.

      Good comments though.

  • This argument has been done to death on here. If you don't like quit whining and find women who :-

    A) Don't go on dating sites
    B) Don't send half nude pictures of themselves immediately after an opening line
    C) Are not princesses.

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    • 0.00000001% of the population. I am not whining. I am just point out double standards in dating when it comes to expectations in courting. Like, who pays and who sets up the date, etc.

      Instead, you mention "dating site" and "nude" and everyone has an orgy obsession with those buzz words.

      The issue I have is not the chic. The issue I have is the implication in our society that a woman is expected to ask a man out on a date and then expect him to plan the date and pay for it. I have experienced this over and over again. The fact that this is merely an example doesn't change the main point. This issue has been experienced with women who werent on dating sites and didn't send nudes. get it?

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    • Come back and 10 years and we will see. hahaha

    • @burpzzzzz lol. Funny. You guys crack me up!

  • Like the Fox and the Grapes fable... the grapes are sour anyways.

    www.avoiceformen.com/.../

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    • where do I find a larger picture of that one?

    • @J-Rock hold and save the image to you pictures, print it out in your printer

    • it's too pixelatted because it's a small image.

  • I hate double standards

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  • Sounds like she put too much expectation on you and you got butt hurt over something unimportant lol.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm with you that girls want it all. They do, but the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move forward in a way that's beneficial for you and her. Because she gave you multiple red flags and you chose to move forward. So to complain about it later is a bit silly, since you knew what you were getting into beforehand.

    That said the moment she shot down your idea, then offered up something else. That was your opportunity to decide if you like her idea better or not. If it legitimately sounded like fun, then you could take her up on it because that's a good idea, rather than getting pissed off that she said no to something that sounded boring to her. Just like you could have done if her idea sounded boring. Merely saying, "no, that sounds boring lol" then offering up a third idea could have lead to you both brainstorming a date together.

    Which would have been a good sign had you both done that. Coming to a decision together means you both can talk about an issue, work it out and come to a conclusion you're both happy with. But you got hungup on her saying no to your first idea and that she asked you to think of something at all.

    Sure, it was poor form for her to ask you out and ask you to plan it out. But you could have easily teased her for it and played the "girl's role". That can be fun to do sometimes. Like if you catch a girl checking you out you can easily look at her and jokingly say, "Hey! My eeeyes are up here". Make her laugh and you already have an in. Just role with it man or get out.

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    • My butt is not hurt. Nothing entered it. Im a grown man rolling my eyes at the craziness I see in the dating world and in society in general.

    • Don't get too jaded brotha man. Wish you the best of luck out there

    • Thanks bro! I just want to have fun. You know?

  • I'll give you all a tip.

    The only people (women really) who are pushing for this kind of "equality" are the ideologically driven feminists. The problem is that they made an assumption that if they were in every way equal to men that it would improve their lives and make them happier, and that's demonstrably not the case. There's good studies about womens political and economic freedom plotted over the last 100 years vs their self reported happiness and as "freedom" increases, happiness decreases. Men's has stayed the same.

    Remember that feminists don't push for this kind of equality because they've studied it and seen that it leads to happier women, they're pushing for it because the have a Social Marxist agenda, it's just an assumption of the theory that it'll make women happier.

    We have millions of years of men being providers and protectors for women, that doesn't go away simply because it offends certain people.

    1) Men, offer to take women out on the date, the person offering should be taking on the financial burden.
    2) Women if you really want to be "equal" then approach men, ask them out and pay for the date. If you don't want to, you have to accept that inequality runs both ways.

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  • And time for whiny weak men to STFU. :)

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  • So in general I can understand your frustration but let's be honest - there were certain red flags right off the bat that YOU chose to ignore.

    Firstly when a girl points out in her bio "I expect a man to pay" - that's your cue right off the bat to forget about her. Entitlement at it's best. But then rather than cut it off, you chose to continue and received half nude pics from her. Before even meeting up with her. Seriously? Again - was time to call it quits but you still decided to continue - and now she's ordering you around...

    I totally agree with you that the dating process and some of the pre-conceived norms are ridiculous and frustrating - but this one is more or less your own fault. Frustration like this is EASILY avoidable!

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    • It wasn't in her bio. it was randomly sampled questions that people answer. There is multiple choice answers. Second, it was "nudes". it was I think one nude and the rest was normal.

      But thanks bro. Also, I would preface that "nude" can imply many things. It wasn't full body. The image was primarily her face. It cut off at the shoulders. So it wasn't like she was showing it all. It was just saucy. But maybe larger women have to work harder to interest a guy? who knows.

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    • I think we all make mistakes like that. Ignoring red flags costs us dearly.

      I would agree, the really attractive girls, tend to be the biggest pain in the ass. Not all, but the ones I've dealt with have.

    • @bloodmountain1990 meanwhile, another chic sent me some pics of her vag tonight. My life has been crazy now that im single again. Lol

  • Unless I missed something in your take, I didn't see the part where she categorically asked you to pay - Other than that, I agree with most of what you said and feel these things should be trashed out before you go on a date - My own view would be towards some form of equality or make an arrangement before hand that suits both parties.

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  • I actually don't mind the expectation of the guy having to make the first move or pay for dates as long as she was consistent with that expectation.

    However, if in the past she has slept with guys without expecting them to wait or pay for anything and then with me she wants me to wait a month for sex and expects me to pay for the dates to be worthy of continuing to date her then I find that insulting.

    It is basically saying that she sees me as being of lower value compared to the other guys she has been with.

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  • From now on women must sign a contract with me: if I listen to her stories and pay for her dinner she must blow me.

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  • This is why I have chosen to stay single. Women are so immature and selfish, it's just not worth the hassle anymore. Let the muslims have them.

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  • You lost me at "overweight."

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  • ha ha Bechara

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  • Sounds like the gold digger from hell. Since 18 , I've (never) dated... although I've maintained 3 Ltr's and 1 marriage. I eliminated the dating process altogether to avoid such issues as this one. Works wonders...

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  • They use double standards to get all possible advantages and so it will alway's be.

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  • "People who ask to meet for coffee rather than the night life are asking to be friendzoned"

    So you're saying I am guaranteed to be friend zoned since I refuse to drink alcohol?

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  • If you know what your looking for you can suss out a no-user in seconds. Just let them talk they give it away in a few seconds. They can't help it

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  • If you haven't had the date yet, then I'd avoid. Sending nudes and demanding pay is ridiculous.

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  • I have never been on a dating site but do women really go on them looking to Friendzone guy, s? Why bother?

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