Those pesky online dating messages... what do I send? What do I say? Why am I not getting any messages in return? I know standing out with your online dating messages can be daunting at times. I also know that some people think if you cut and paste as many messages as you can you will have better luck. That is just not the case. I wanted to share a few tips with you guys on writing better messages and give you a few ice breakers if you can't think of anything to say.
Now the old wise tale is pick something out of their profile and talk about that, which makes sense... I know. The problem is people will pick anything and just talk about it instead of looking for something that they too are interested in. A profile that lacks narrowed interests will usually not get a bunch of messages because people cannot find something to send you a message about. So make sure your profile stands out with specific interests, hobbies or passions. This will give you a better chance of someone feeling comfortable enough in sending you a message.
So what if their profile is lacking... what if there profile doesn't have much to go on or even worse nothing in it at all. My first piece of advice when this happens is moving on but I know you might want to send them a message based on the photos alone. So here is what I suggest. If the person doesn't have anything in their profile that is worth mentioning or their profile is blank then you go to the next best thing and that is their photos. Comment on their outfits, background scenery, geographical location but whatever you do don't comment on there looks. Now if you are a woman and you want to say the guy is cute then that usually flies with us men. But not on the flip side. Women hear this all the time on how cute they are .. how sexy they appear, etc etc....and it kind of gets old.
Example of this could be:
Love the red dress in photo #3 but I just saw on the news that a bunch of baby squirrels were kidnapped and the video showed a woman in a red dress fleeing the scene. I hope this is just a coincidence? (insert smiley face)
That is one tasty looking burger you are eating .. have you tried the new joint on Main street "Burger Heaven?" They have tater tots ... let that sink in (insert smiley emoji)
So if you are sending messages and are not getting anything back in return then here is why...
You probably are not putting enough effort into your messages and are just sending the basic intros like... Hey .. Hi... How are you... How is your day going?... You're cute...You will not get anything in return on that... because everyone else is sending the same thing... so they will be ignoring all messages that look like this.
So here is what you do... if you have nothing to go on then send something that will GRAB THERE ATTENTION. Just go for it. For example:
Send.... I have an assignment for you.... meet me at the Starbucks on Brewer street at 11 am on Saturday...don't be late. And most importantly... make sure you are not followed. insert smiley face emoji....
Stuff like this is so different more than likely you will get a response... now it could be positive or negative ... doesn't matter. The point of this is to get their attention so that you can talk to them properly. You can make up all kinds of examples for a message like this to be sent. Another example is ...
I have an assignment for you .. meet me for drinks at the pub on 9th street at 7 pm Friday night... don't be late.. and most of all make sure you are not followed (insert smiley face emoji)
This is what I call the James bond playful message. Be creative come up with something on your own much like the examples above. I mean what do you have to lose? I wanted to also give you a few icebreakers that I have found to work just as well. These can be used in the beginning of the conversation or in the middle to spark a thought-provoking dialog so you don't get trapped into the "interview style" back and forth. It also helps you from getting those dreaded YES OR NO answers that go nowhere.
1-5 is really good for Tinder, Bumble, the swipe dating apps as 6-10 are more for Match, Ok Cupid, POF, etc.
1. If you could be a character in any movie, who would you be?
2. What actor/actress would play you in the movie of your life?
3. What’s one thing I should know about you that’s not on your profile?
4. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
5. What’s one thing you’d bring with you to a deserted tropical island?
6. You look like a person who loves adventure....tell me this ... If you had an all expenses paid trip to anywhere in the world where would it be? And who would you take with you?
7. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid and if you could go trick or treating as an adult what costume would you wear now?
8. Hey! I just got a message from someone asking how many Cheetos can I fit in my mouth? I need a snappy comeback... HELP (insert smiley emoji)
9. What is the one item you will not eat on your pizza?
D all the above.
E. insert topping here
10. If we robbed a bank together for a million dollars what would you spend your half the money on? by the way cute hat, cute dog, etc.
There are many times where you can comment on a certain item in their photo like a hat, dog, outfit but it's just not much to send. So use one of these above (I recommend creating your own) and then at the end insert the comment. Hopefully, these will help you out. I know there are a lot of haters out there on online dating but for the ones who are doing it please give these a shot.
You can contact me at my website. The link in Bio.