My Advice for Short Guys - No, You're Not Completely Screwed

I see a lot of negative comments about short guys on here, mainly from short guys themselves. They blame their lack of success with women on their lack of height and they think that they're completely screwed because of it. I'm calling bullshit.

My Advice for Short Guys - No, You're Not Completely Screwed

Women do tend to prefer taller men. That's just a simple truth that you have to accept. However, if you are short it's not the end of the world. I'm 5'4" myself, and while I'm sure that many women see that as a deal breaker I've never had trouble finding women who were interested. Most likely then it's something else about you that prevents women from wanting to date you, and these things can probably be fixed.

The number one quality that women look for and find attractive in a man is confidence. The reason my height has never held me back is that I don't even think about it. If you obsess over it you're going to become insecure and bitter. If you assume right off the bat that a woman isn't going to like you because you're short that will show itself no matter how much you try to hide it. It will show through your body language and the way you talk to her, and it will immediately turn her off. My only advice there is just to stop worrying about it because it does you no favours.

On the flip side, some men like to show how confident they are despite being short by emphasising it. They like to make self-deprecating jokes - this also isn't a good idea. You shouldn't be ashamed of being short, but at the same time you shouldn't emphasise it because it is an unattractive trait and it's not a good idea to draw attention to it. You should be working to your strengths instead. Smart people emphasise the traits that others find attractive, not unattractive. Talk about everything besides your height.

Sometimes others will make negative comments about your height as you know already. The important thing here it not to get rattled. See it as a test of your confidence, which women tend to do often especially in the early stages of dating, whether they're conscious of it or not. If you stay cool and you seem like you really don't care you pass, if you get upset, angry or defensive you fail.

My Advice for Short Guys - No, You're Not Completely Screwed

There are also things you can do to make yourself look more physically attractive. The number one thing is to get in shape, particularly through lifting weights and building a more athletic/muscular physique. In America over two thirds of the population is overweight, and most other Western countries are close to that too. Of the remaining third, the majority are skinny and still our of shape. Being in shape gives you a huge advantage over these guys. Now many women will claim that they don't like muscular guys - what they mean by that are the steroid freaks, but even then those guys tend to do a lot better than the average guy. You don't have to be huge though, just don't be weak. Any guy who has gone from being skinny/fat to a more athletic/muscular physique will tell you that it makes a huge difference in the way women react towards you.

Posture is also important. Today most people have bad posture from a lack of exercise and from sitting on their asses for the majority of the time. A great way to look smaller is to walk with a hunchback - stop walking like you don't want anybody to see you and start walking like you're 10 inches taller than you actually are. There's a lot of information out there on how to improve your posture, and if done right you might be able to add an inch or two. I should also mention that if you do decide to lift weights as I mentioned before, make sure you follow a good, balanced routine rather than just working the beach muscles (chest, shoulders, biceps). Antagonistic muscles work together in balance - if you have an imbalance it will affect your posture. If you work your chest especially but you ignore your back, your stronger chest will pull your shoulders forward and you'll again be walking like a hunchback.

My Advice for Short Guys - No, You're Not Completely ScrewedClothing can either hide or emphasise your lack of height. It's even more important if, like me, you look younger than you actually are. If I wear the wrong clothes I look like a 16 year old boy. Wearing clothes with high contrast emphasises your lack of height because it creates a visual interruption, instead you should keep roughly the same colour scheme. Also you should avoid baggy clothing and instead wear clothes that fit you well. Some people also suggest lifts in your insoles to add an extra inch - I'd say that you should avoid those. They're not good for your feet, and it you date the girl long term she's going to see you with them off anyway.

So to sum up, yes being short is a slight disadvantage but there are plenty of ways to increase your chances of success. If I've done it so can you. Stop complaining, stop worrying about it, lift weights, improve your posture, dress well and play to your strengths. No more excuses.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You've said something I have been saying for years, but very eloquently.

    I'm afraid it is human nature to want to blame something outside of their control for lack of success in life. From 'the teacher is out to get me', to 'I felt sick during that exam', to 'I'm fat only because of genetics', to 'no girls like me because I am short'.

    I hope some people read your piece and are heartened to make a change in their lives, because this is an entirely possible thing to influence when a person tries and makes the effort to change.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Dealbreakers, dealbreakers, everywhere! haha! If you worry so much about a woman's dealbreakers and let them get to you, then you will present the most overriding dealbreaker of them all, insecurity.

    I have a feeling some things a woman considers a dealbreaker on paper aren't nearly as deal-breaking if a guy doesn't care about it and has other things going for him. We are more than just a sum of our parts. It is easy to look like a statistics sheet in online dating for example, but the best thing to do would be to just go with the flow.

    Honestly, for both genders, I would reconsider what is truly important to you. Think about how your superficial fantasies are hurting your chances for real connection and lasting love. If you get caught up in the small details, then maybe it is time to do some self-evaluation.

    I also think when we judge people, we are in reality judging ourselves. The more harsh standards we hold ourselves to, the harsher we judge others. Do you really want to be with someone who is going to judge you for your height, your stretch marks, the shape of your nose, or anything that makes you uniquely you?


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What Girls Said 13

  • I honestly feel less comfortable around shorter people in general. I've dated short guys. I've talked great conversations and flirted with them. But I ALWAYS find myself bending over, or bending at the knees to make myself more level to them. I usually end up with physical pains. I don't think I do it on purpose. I'm not TRYING to slouch or bend my body. It's just a thing. I automatically feel 10 times more at ease with someone my height or taller.

    • How tall are you lol

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    • @GoWebGo I've also met guys who insisted they are 6 feet and they are my height lol. Automatic turn off because like why not just be confident with what you've got?

    • True, and the data is for men in US/UK.

      I expect men to be even shorter in most of the world except like Scandinavia and the Netherlands.

  • Another solution is find a short girl. There are plenty of short girls out there. I'm personally 5' and been with guys who were 5'8" and 6'5" (ik, it's a huge difference) but don't mind dating someone shorter. Tbh, height doesn't matter to us as much because majority of the population is taller than us.
    As long as you have a glowing personality, you'll be fine because personality trumps everything.

  • First off, Huntington-Whiteley is shorter than Statham.

    Are you talking about guys who are in general short? Or guys who are shorter than their potential SOs when SO wears high heels? :P

    • Lol , she's actually a 0.5" taller than Statham without any shoes on lol.

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    • @SullyB I was actually a part of the user height page before it got retired on Celebheights. :P I might meet Rob in London in may 2019 when I'm there with my class :D

    • @NoOne_Special Almost veryone claims to be 2 inches taller these days, both celebrities and everyday people. A 5'9" man can claim 5'11"- 6'0"...
      So if someone claims 5'10", expect them to be 5'8", if someone claims 6'0", expect them to be 5'9" or 5'10". Worst of all, people believe them! Why? Because everyone lies about their height so if you are honest about your height they will go into rage mode and argues that you are taller than you say...
      It's getting annoying for us who are honest about it.

  • My brother is 180 and even taller girls go for him. It is all about who you are and how confident you are. My bro is hella hot and girls always look at me jealous when I am walking down the street with my brother.

    • 180 is tall tho

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    • @GoWebGo Here in Georgia average height is 175. Still I had things with guys who were much taller than my brother so I don't see him as tall neither he thinks he is tall

    • But I've also had things with guys who were around 170 and shorter. So believe me It's not about height. You might be 160 and still get more girls than someone who's 190. Sondon't care about it you look good.

  • Look at the insecure boys sharing their opinions lmao. Bunch of insecure crybabies who will blame women for the fact that they are single af and blah blah blah.
    I used to use the Whisper app, there I once saw the confession of a man who said he's 5'3" tall but still is winning in life and has a gorgeous wife.
    I have an uncle who is short and very unattractive. Yet I don't know why all men in my dad's side are great geniuses including my dad himself.. when my uncle went to work abroad his employer's daughter herself proposed to him because she was impressed with how smart, well-behaved etc he is I'M NOT KIDDING. That being said she herself is very tall and so beautiful.

    Men seriously need to stop underestimating the power of a great personality, a disciplined lifestyle and a good mindset.

    • Also I had a tutor of your height and he still looked stunning because of his fashion sense and unique style in dress-up. He was also very talented and creative. The girl he had a crush on for a long time, herself asked him out and now they're dating.

  • I’m 165 and have dated guys my height. Girls lower than me. I like to be able to kiss someone on the neck without having them bend down or me jump hehe

    I like your post, but I guess the thing about not making fun of your lackings and enhancing your good sides.. it is the opposite here, making fun of yourself and what you lack in most aspects, be that height or even penis size, it is seen as having good humor which is liked, whereas only going on about your unusually positive sides is seen as bragging and trying to oversell yourself which is disliked.
    Being humble with self sarcasm and laid back is what would work here best, It’s part of our whole culture, the law of jante inspired. It keeps us grounded and I rarely hear anyone worth a while having “being tall” is an important requirement, good personality however is important and self confidence is goos too

    • When I mention emphasising your positive points I wasn't really talking about bragging or overselling, after all if you're trying to convince someone of something you should show rather than tell through your actions. You never want to come across as try-hard. I suppose a little joking is fine, I'm able to laugh at myself. Some people though again take it too far here to the point where it becomes awkward and unattractive. It can have the effect of showing that you don't care and that you're confident, but if done too much it becomes obvious that you're doing so out of insecurity. I just think it's best to mostly avoid drawing attention to it at all.

    • One of my friends are married to a guy who will joke about hus small penis, he’s fun about it too, Luckily I know he have other qualities to make up for thar short comming, but I love how confident he is about having something who is by most considered embarresing, I also know that is one of the things my friend fell for, personality, as his looks are just rather average too.
      I do the same thing about being fat. It’s something we can all see anyway, and if I can crack a joke about the Elephant in the room, me, then it’s something that makes people less likely to talk about my back about it. Plus what can they even say that is worse than what I will way for fun anyway :P
      I make people laugh, they like me, win win.

  • yeah duh. be a billionaire and anyone would be attracted to you. old or short

  • I LOVE short guys <3 5'3 guys are so yummy cause we are so close in height!

  • I tend to be crushing on guys my height and shorter but they never seem to be into me.
    Tall guys are good too but I don't like them when they think they're all that and girls are all over them

    • I think it goes both ways girls want to be with taller guys but guys also want to be with shorter girls. Also they may be intimidated by a girl tall as or taller.

    • @Josht13 I can see the later but when I'm giving obvious signs of interest and throwing myself at the guy I don't see how he can still be intimdated

    • *intimidated

  • I believe that all it can take is the right guy to make you change your mind about all kinds of lists you have in your head about things you physically want in a man, but a taller man is what I like. I am a tall woman who has all short friends and every greeting is awkward hugs and you do this thing, well, everybody does, where subconsciously you mimic those around you in your body language, and so in order to get on eye level, or to blend in, you just end up slouching or sinking down, and it gets annoying and can be painful if you do it for a while. I like not to crouch down or have to physically adjust myself to talk to my guy. I like that I can look either eye level or above it and don't have to back up a few feet to talk to him which is a thing tall people have to do when talking to shorter people. I imagine most tall people know what I'm talking about with the physical comfort thing.

    Sure, never say never--but in truth, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I've not gotten many short guys approach me, probably because either they assume I don't want them or they feel intimidated by the height difference, or hell, maybe, I'm not their type, who knows, so I date tall men, and they date me, and I wish happiness on any short guy because it can be tough when the ideal man seems to always be listed as "tall."

    • I've never actually noticed this and of course haven't had to do this myself lol...

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What Guys Said 23

  • I've said it over and over and over on here that height is not the problem. I agree with everything you say. Yes, being short can be a slight negative. For a small percentage of women it can be a deal breaker. But so can hundreds of other things. There are enough women out there that you can take 1% or 10% out of the pool and still have thousands and thousands of possibilities.

    I'm 5-6 myself, and I was the tallest one in my family. My father was 5-5 and got lots of women when he was younger. My brother is 5-4 and he's gotten far more dates than I have. Why? Because he had more balls and asked out more girls than I did.

    Being short was never a negative for me. Mostly because I didn't know it was supposed to be. I was well into my adulthood before I even heard there was supposed to be something wrong with it. By then it was too late because I already knew from experience that it wasn't true.

    The only thing I disagree with about this take is that it implies you need to compensate for this negative. I don't view it as a negative in the first place. So I have absolutely no need to compensate for it. It's totally 100% a non-issue with me. It makes zero difference.

    The things you say to help get women apply to everyone. There is absolutely nothing that a short person needs to do that a tall person doesn't need to do as well.

    Guys who think they aren't getting girls because they are short are blaming the wrong thing. As long as they keep blaming the wrong thing, they won't figure out what the real reason is.

    • I don't see it as compensating as such, more that you should do all you can to improve in all other areas. Height isn't something you can change but the way you carry yourself and your appearance can be improved. I once dated a girl who was 5'10" and she literally said to me "you're short but you make up for it by being hench".

  • Nice try OP. But it's not very easy to help damaged men. All I see is excuses as per usual =D I was one too and I fixed myself up and improved a lot. Even still, I find it hard to help guys who think they are screwed in terms of dating and relationships. It's their own mentality that holds them back.

    • Very true, it's hard to help people who don't want to help themselves.

  • Great advice. It's very important to exercise confidence. There is no point in worrying about things you can't change and shorter guys can always have great success. It's all the the mindset.

    Only one I think is important to get right is saying 'smart people emphasise the traits that others find attractive'. You've got to be very careful about doing this. If done correctly, it works. If not done correctly, you'll be exposed for over compensating which ruins any confident persona you tried to portray.

    Not all women are coming to be nice, some, especially at clubs when they've been drinking, will try and fish for your insecurities. If you're short, she may even point that out and tease you. This is where you show your true confidence, by laughing it off and not caring. Not trying to distract by saying 'Yeah, well I'm good at this or..." and trying to qualify yourself to her (something you should never do) or worse, getting angry.

    • I agree on being careful not to overcompensate or to brag, that always looks bad. If anything you should always show rather than explain.

  • There are millions of 5-footers (and less) in East Asia and Latin America waiting for your call. Ohh the horror, having to "settle" for someone like her.

  • Jason Stathom is 5'10" That's the average height for a white guy.

    Anyway, short guys have a better chance with girls that are shorter than them

    • Of course that's true, however even then there are girls who are shorter who want a guy much taller, and girls who are taller who don't care as much. My girlfriend is shorter than me but most of the girls I've been with before I met her have been slightly taller.

    • Jason is like 5'8" in reality, everone adds 2-3 inches to their height these days.

      The average SELF REPORTED height of a whie man is 5'10" but the measured average height for a white man is 5'9" and 5'8" for black men and sub 5'7" for other men in US and UK. And we ain't getting taller, rather the opposite, even for young people.

  • I worked with a couple short guys (5'5 and under) once, they were legit cool dudes and didn't have issues dating women most of the time. Obviously not everyone is someone's cup of tea, so yeah sometimes a girl would pass them up for a date but they did better than a lot of other average or tall guys I know. Its all attitude, maybe your height is a challenge but that doesn't mean it's insurmountable.

  • Indeed but you put Jason Statham in there? The dude is not short, he's like 5'8".

    I wear tight jeans and a shirt that is not allowed to hang over my zipper, that makes me look taller and the shirt should fit and improves your physique.

    I'm well above average height at 5'10.5" and I'm 17 so I still an inch if not inches left to grow but I'm still looking for ways to improve my style because I like fashion.

  • My own mother used to tell me I would never meet anyone, because I was too short. I'm the same height as the author, by the way, 5'4".

    I've lifted weights since I was 11 years old and can currently bench over twice my body-weight (255 lbs, last time I maxed out). Doesn't help. Dress in fitted, expensive clothing. Doesn't help. Put myself out there and have made moves on well over 500 women in my life-time, low-estimate. Doesn't help. I'm not saying being short is the only factor, but I am saying unless you're near-perfect by every other metric, you don't stand a chance at 5'4". I was confident for 23 years, but I've put myself out there so many times and been rejected so harshly and so consistently, I've had that confidence beat out of me. I'm done. Being short is pretty much a sentence to loneliness. And how do I know that? Because women will make fun of me for it when I try to make passes at them ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

    • "Because women will make fun of me for it when I try to make passes at them ALL THE FUCKING TIME"

      Cool, stop bitching. Keep approaching women.

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    • @Kkaos I'm not saying it's ONLY my height, but I am saying that there are a myriad of factors beyond my control that give me 0 value on the dating market. Height is just the most obvious. Other factors can play a role that aren't even noticeable to the naked human eye: skeletal symmetry, skin/hair quality, sweat pheromones (really). I'm sorry for being so negative. I appreciate what you're trying to do, I really do. However, some people really are just hopeless, and that's okay. I've lived a very interesting life, love-life notwithstanding. And I've had sex before too, so... experience had lol. It's a bummer, but it had to happen to someone. I still had the good fortune to be born a man in 20th century U. S. A., so I can count my blessings there. I was just disputing the point that everyone has a chance if they try, and all certain men need to do is keep their chins up. The harsh truth is, some people are destined to always be alone.

    • Fair enough. At least being single is easier and less stressful than being in a relationship. More time to focus on yourself and your interests. All the best dude.

  • I'm calling bullshit. Women pass up short guys and don't consider short men to be sexually attractive.

    • ... and yet I have a girlfriend and two children, and my father is shorter than I am.

  • "If I've done it so can you."

    This is the most pointless argument of all arguments that have ever been argumented.
    Just because you found some girl willing to date you doesn't change anything on the fact that the vast majority of women these kind of men will interact with will turn them down precisely because of their height.

    I know women who say short men are "disgusting" and that they would never even consider them partner material regardless of any other quality they might have.
    So I'm going to say that "slight disadvantage" is a "slight" understatement.

    Being short is BY FAR the most crippling disadvantage a man can have in the dating game.
    So while you might not be "completely screwed" you are pretty damn close to it and do absolutely have the ground to complain in my opinion.

    • But who are you complaining to? You can't change height.

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    • Sure, but the message you are delivering is the equivalent of telling starving Syrian children with no home or parents to stop whining about their situation because they can still dig through the trash to find enough food to survive.

      Either way.
      My advice is elevator shoes.
      Your "confidence" is gonna do fuck all when you can't even get women to talk to you in the first place.
      I wear 4~5 inch elevators and I have had zero issues since then.

    • No it's not. What you're saying is that being short means really struggling to find any women that are interested and being lucky to find just one, but if you have other attractive qualities it's really not that hard.

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