Does he like me?
This is a subject widely talked about everywhere between girls, on our group chats asking our girl friends to give us their opinions on the guy we like, countless movies, books, TV shows, and websites made specifically for this reason, GAG for example has many questions by its users on this topic.
We try so hard to find the signs, the missing clues, we put our FBI cap on and start investigating every little detail that we could have missed.
But the truth of the matter is very simple, no need for overthinking it, no need for getting professional advice and investigations, no need for playing games and tricking guys to tell you their thoughts.
If he likes you, you'll know. it's that simple.
And if it doesn't seem that simple to you, I hope this article will help you understand.
I used to be like this before, I have read many books about this subject, watched many talk shows as well. and one of the best books that helped me is " He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt.
So today i decided to share MyTake on it, with the help of this book, and share what I have learnt. You could say this will be a guide to find peace of mind while getting rid of fuckboys from your life.
He's not that into you, if:
1. He Hasn't Asked You Out
This one sounds like a no brainer, but many women believe that if a guy hasn't asked them out, it's because he forgot, or because he's too afraid of " ruining the friendship".
He's not afraid, an excuse is just a polite rejection.
Beware of the word friend. It can often be used by men and women, that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally when I’m picking friends, I like the ones who don’t make me cry myself to sleep.
— Greg Behrendt
2. He Doesn't Call You
A guy who likes you will want to talk to you a lot. If he’s not texting you or calling you it’s because he’s not thinking about you.
If he returns your calls and text messages days after you reach out and ignores the fact that he’s been distant, it's because he isn't into you.
Say, 'I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.'
— Greg Behrendt
3. He's Not Dating You
Hanging out with him isn't considered dating, Guys tell you how they feel even if you refuse to listen or believe them. When he says " I don't want to be in a serious relationship" it truly means he doesn't want a serious relationship.
People tell you who they are all the time...you should believe him.
— Greg Behrendt
and that " at least it's better than nothing" bullshit is not good enough for you, you deserve a guy who is proud to tell everyone that you're his girl
Remember always what you set out to get, and please don’t settle for less.
— Greg Behrendt
4. He's Breaking Up With You
Getting an " I miss you" text from him is validating and exciting, there's nothing more satisfying than hearing his desperate voice on the phone begging you, or seeing him jealous over your new guy, after previously breaking up with you and telling you he doesn't want to be with you anymore.
let me remind you, He broke up with you because he no longer wanted you, so cut him off and let him miss you.
The most attractive quality of all is dignity.
— Greg Behrendt
5. He Disappears On You
Basically you have been talking to this guy for a while, all is good, he's nice and you text all the time, then poof, he's gone. He might offer you some excuses or might not offer any warnings at all.
In this situation, you'll try to figure out why? In this case, not having an answer, is your answer. There's no mystery around it, he's gone because he doesn't want you. so don't give him the chance to reject you again.
6. He Confuses You
One day it’s one thing, the next day it’s something new. While there are moments it seems like he likes you, he completely pulls away the following time. If a guy likes you he won’t confuse you. He will be honest and clear and forward that he wants you and only you.
7. He Gives The Bare Minimum
He gives just enough to keep you coming back and adoring him. And once he feels you pulling away, he suddenly acts interested and acts the way you want him to, the moment you're back, he's back to his old habits.
8. He doesn’t Remember What You Tell Him
If he’s not listening to you or remembering the things you say, it means you’re not important to him. Can you remember the last time you liked a guy and you forgot almost all the things he says? 99% of the time, if he likes you, he’s going to listen to you, and remember the things you tell him.
9. He Mentions Other Women He’s Interested In.
If he’s interested in someone else, and telling you about it, he’s not trying to make you jealous. He’s giving you the honest truth, so he’s not interested in dating you.
10. He Never Contacts You First.
If he liked you he would want to be with you, he will want to hear you voice and want to spend time with you. That urge you feel to be around a guy you like ,men feel that too. And if he feels that urge, he’s going to be reaching out to you to see you again. If not, then he isn't into you.
The Truth: It Will Be OBVIOUS That He Likes You
Guys aren't subtle, if he likes you, and wants you, he'll let you know through his words and actions.
If he's leaving you guessing and wondering about his feelings and thoughts, he's just not that into you.
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
— Greg Behrendt,
He's Just not That Into You
This might seem too harsh, but sometimes we need to listen to the truth. Of course, this guide isn't meant to generalize or meant to be 100% true, in some cases, even if he acts like this he could still be into you, but in MOST cases, he's not into you.
In most cases, if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions!
Think of your situation as the rule, not the exception. Because the latter will only get your hopes up, and gets you hurt.