Let me start off by saying every person in the military no matter what branch has my full respect and gratitude. It was the moment I told my boyfriend about this poor guy me and my cousin saw while out on the town one night. This guy who had somehow gotten a massive head injury, and there was a pool of blood under his head, and blood draining down the road. I told my boyfriend, and I was like that poor guy probably died or close to it, and it did not even phase him that much. At that moment somehow it dawned on me that this relationship was going to be different in positive and negative ways.
When we met online about 8 months ago we hit it off. I knew he was millitary, but I didn't think anything of it other than I certainly appreciated what he did. Over time I have totally fallen in love with him. But it is also more challenging than average dating. Now, when I say that I mean the little details of war keeps creeping up understandably so. He was critically wounded and was honorably discharged. Let me say this when I was getting to know him he is a perfect fit for me. Someone who calms me down, and just compliments my personality so well. He is everything you could ever want in a man. He is gentle, protective, funny, charming, and just well perfect. I know nobody is perfect, but this man is pretty darn close.
Then we were into our relationship about 3 months and one day after seeing him the day before, he just stopped texting me. At first I thought oh great another guy who said all the right things then just ghosts me. That is what I thought. Then I texted him telling him how I felt about him. And his response just made me realize this was not going to be an ordinary relationship. You see he has several repercussions from being wounded. One of them being a TBI (traumatic brain injury). Although I knew that he suffered with this I just thought he took medicine for it, and that it was under control. Then he spent a few days in the hospital, and went weeks without talking to me.
With ordinary guys we all know that means he just changed his mind about you, and not contacting you ever again is his way of telling you that. This time it was different. There is a major connection with us, and I know we both felt it because we both told each other we felt that way. So then came time for me to figure out what I was already into. I researched this condition a lot, and became very fasinated on all the military things I didn't know about. I wanted to know how to help him. But truthfully there's not a lot you can do. I realized each person with this condition is unique in their own situation. My mans being so severe made it really hard for him.
The weeks following this episode I would just text him saying I'm here for you, and let me know if you need me, that type of stuff. Upon saying all this I should mention that he also suffers from PTSD as well. I became a very, very uninformed person on this subject to just wanting to know all I could to help him. My friends tried to tell me this was his way of making me leave, or his easy way out. But just like in any relationship I knew him and knew he was truly trying to get better. But I'll admit although I knew he was trying to get better, the thought still crossed my mind at that point is he really in the hospital, or is he lying? It crossed my mind for sure. But then one day when I texted him that I was still here for him and what not I got an immediate response, we went out a few days later, and it was great to know we had overcome that hurdle.
Also when we go eat we have to sit in certain directions from the door, he is always polite. We love love concerts, but if there are fireworks I always have earplugs to quiet it down for him to not activate some of those memories. Now not all military dating experiences are like mine. Some soldiers come back, and although they too were touched by war they deal with it better somehow. Before I met him I of course had respect for our military, and veterans, but never thought of all the effects in such detail before.
With all this being said I will say this man makes me feel safe no matter where we are. I never feel unsafe with him. With any relationship there are struggles, and things you each have to overcome. This is my example of mine, and how his military experiences has effected our relationship.