The Difficulty of Giving Up Being "a Player"

There's a hidden cost to being a player that is seldom talked about and that's what happens when it's time to leave The Game. Of course, by the game I'm referring to the idea of using a particular set of social skills in order to attract and (often) sleep with women despite not necessarily having strong feelings for them. The Player is understandably seen as a villain in dating and, indeed, he often is without scruples or compassion for those he sleeps with. And yet, it is not the lack of scruples that makes this step difficult, it's the addiction that he OR SHE has built up...

The Difficulty of Giving Up Being "a Player"

When a guy decides he would like to leave the game either because he's in a happy relationship or because he fears he's too old and no longer can stand looking at himself in the mirror knowing what he does, he finds it's not quite that simple. There's many reasons standing in his way the largest of which is that of the addiction to the feeling of "attracting" people. It's a novelty based game where even just by playing it you're introduced to a number of different people all with their different look and personality. You play and watch them slowly like or dislike you before moving onto the next. It's addicting not just because of what you potentially get (sex, which you likely get if you're in a relationship) but also it's like roulette table. There's a lot of action and randomness to it. You get blown out by someone you thought was below your league. You find someone you thought was above your league chasing you! The scenarios are endless and largely illogical which makes it so much fun.

The Difficulty of Giving Up Being "a Player"

And, then there's the fact behind most addictions, the dark fact, that instead of dealing with your problems you might have chosen the easy way out. Have something bad happen to you in your past? You can always sleep around! Too hurt to engage in real intimacy? There's a way of being invulnerable and still having fun! Or maybe you just grew up in a really boring place and the game was your main source of excitement. When we decide to let go of the thing we used to mask the pain, we find that we're now left to deal with it which can be a daunting task. As such, many players regress and "cheat" as a result.

The Difficulty of Giving Up Being "a Player"

So, is there any hope for hoping to be ex players? Should you stay away from people who've been players in the past? I think there is hope and it's in the fact that just because it sucks doesn't mean you can't do it. The player must ask him or herself if they can get that sort of love from their partners or better yet themselves. I personally think the answer is that a "former player" needs to be really hard on themselves when it comes to the game. The game is fun but empty. It's devoid of meaning or purpose. It's juvenile better suited to teenagers than adult people. And, ultimately, more happiness exists outside the game than could exist within it...

The Difficulty of Giving Up Being "a Player"

1|0
58
pavlove is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
Who are Editors?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Im not a player and i don't like any player because of their arrogance and all that. But i do agree there's a reason why a person chose that path... and it just becomes their habit, but obviously its better late than never.

    1|1
    0|1
    • All girls say they dislike the player yet all girls sleep with the player regardless, that is why you don't take dating advice from a girl, what they say they want and what they actually respond positively to are completely different things I've found

    • Show All
    • I definitely wouldn't turn down a cookie!

    • @Slarenx not all girls sleep with the player regardless.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You know you can attract, date and fuck as many women as you like without an ounce of manipulation right? And there's no age expiration on that.

    Why would you see yourself as bad if you're upfront about what you do?
    Its one thing to TRICK people into sleeping with you. (Using shit like fake "I love you"s, pretending to be after something stable/ long term when you're not etc...)
    Its another entirely to sleep with them because you wanna fuck, they wanna fuck and its mutual. The first is what I'd consider to be a "player". The second is just a normal, well adjusted human being who doesn't want a long term partner in his life at that point in time.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Join the discussion

What Girls Said 4

  • A player isn’t something he who has sex without genuine feeling plenty of people do that. The player is a LIAR. That’s the difference. You can observe people analyze them chase them be chased without lying. So if a person us added free to “ the game” they area compulsive liar. Real Games have rules and all participants know them. A player isn’t playing they are lying.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i didn't know players had an age expiration date. smoothness keeps yuo company for life.
    as for being evil well it depends on what you call player. i hooked up with a guy that was perfectly honest once. "hey, you know i'm not the relationship kind of person right? this will be a fun night and nothing beyond that. i don't want to create false expectations in you and level them down later." he was very honest and straightforward to me and perfectly clarified his position. he didn't drag me along in any way, and i didn't feel "played". and he has done it to hundrends of women. he just doesn't like commitment of any form.
    except if as players you mean the manipulators and false hope creators... .

    0|0
    0|0
  • After my 2nd marriage I became a player but the guys I dated were told don't expect a relationship, I only want this from you and they were fine with it. I gave it up because I got bored of it, it wasn't because of my age or I found someone I wanted to be serious with. I became a player because I had been burned from a marriage and had so much anger against males that I didn't care about becoming emotionally attached to them. I gave it up because I felt it was no longer the person I wanted to be. I had a great time during that time but now I am experiencing an even greater time of not being one. Only you can decide.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's why I never mess with them.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • Seems to me that taking up a new, exciting hobby can help deal with this addiction, which former players I know have confirmed to me exists.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I like your post but,
    I would like to add that,"players do feel your pain". You can very easily confuse a guy trying to get away from you for some genuine reason with a cold hearted monster and trust me. I know one of that kind personally, some times "Players want to give you chance" and they act rude on purpose to draw you away from them cuz "They know the monster within" and sometimes its not easy to stay there and live your life, when you know people are in deep shit cuz of you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Literally the only drawback is the lack of sex. But besides that there is nothing to complain about.

    Plus, no one likes a player. Not even guys.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Not so much the lack of sex, but a lack of variety. There are plenty of women who love having sex daily, so being a relationship with a woman like that would ensure plenty of sex. Variety would definitely the issue in this case.

  • There's no difficulty friend, it comes down to you aS a person and care.. simple.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Trying to play the sympathy card for pity scraps, playa?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Lol why am not surprised at who the author is

    0|0
    0|0
  • dont be a player easy

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...