Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I`m not going to give advice on How to survive it when you`re single and all that, but let`s talk about playing games and how you should not waste your time with someone who isn't right for you.
*Oh well shortly, Valentine’s Day is just so overrated, I don`t think it`s showing love when you and you`re partner are forced to show your love at this one day. Spread the love during the whole year!*
Playing Games isn`t Gender based, everyone does it at some point. If it´s conscious or unconsciously.
1-Look out for red flags!
Everyone should have their own red flags and the moment you see one, you should be really careful and slow down.
When the red flag is super big, you better run.
2-Look at the actions of someone
Don`t listen to the sweet words someone tell you. I get it when you`re not doing good and someone comes around the corner and is so nice, you want to listen to them.
But don`t do it, listen to your gut feeling and look at the actions the other person has.
Does this person really care and make some effort for you? Does this person wants to talk to you? Or do they just text and call when they`re bored or horny?
Look at what they do, instead of what they say.
3-Be clear about what you want right from the get go
Tell clearly what you want out of this relationship. Do you want to be only friends? Are you interested in a romantic relationship?
Do you first want a friends with benefits relationship before wanting this to become more or just want to keep it casual?
Are you about waiting till marriage? Because yes, you should say that somewhere in the beginning, doesn`t have to be on the first date, but somewhere in the start. Look at the next point why.
Also If you started as friends and you realize you want more, don`t stay as friends with this person scared that you would ruin the friendship, because big news you already did.
The moment you wish for more, this isn’t a friendship anymore, so just say what you want. Tell that you started to gain feelings and would like to try.
You never know how the other person feels until you both speak about it. ->communication is key
Talk. Speak. Be vocal about your wishes and needs.
4-Don`t waste time.
If someone doesn`t want the same thing as you do, then don`t waste your time.
There will be someone out there who does want the same thing as you.
It might take time and luck but damn it there are so many fu*human beings on this plant, there must be a few who fit with you.
Also you can`t change someone. People do change, they really do, but they change on their own, for their own interest. They don`t change for you or anyone else. They change for themselves, because hallo we humans are quite egoistic, it`s our nature to survive.
5-Don`'t drown in a pity party.
Like I said before, Valentine`s day is overrated and being in a relationship, can be nice but it`s not essential. You won`t die when you`re single!
When I was younger I was thinking I want to be in a relationship.
Like everyone kept telling me it`s the right thing and I will be happy.
I worked into this direction and tried so hard to be in one and nearly everyone would and still do look down on me when I say I´m single.
But you know what, one day I was on a date with this guy, he was handsome, he was funny, I really liked him, he had his shit together and he wanted to work towards a relationship.
I just had to say yes and I would have what everyone kept telling me I should have. But well hallo again, I said no, because in this moment where I could have it, I realized I don`t want it.
A week after that I went on and had my first time with someone I didn`t loved and I never regretted it. (Not saying you should do that! Do what is right for YOU)
Now Years later I`m ready for a relationship and I do want to be in one.
But dear there is not someone around who does want the same and honestly I`m so done with this topic, that I`m again in a casual “relationship” and I´m happy.
Because welcome in the 21st century, you don`t have to be in a relationship to be happy. And even if you want one and you just don`t have someone right now, don`t drown in a pity party. Your time will come!
One day you will have what you want, but until that enjoy your life.
Don`t base everything on being in love and in a relationship.
There are so many things you can do and just live in the moment and have fun!
Be you, be happy and take care of yourself.
#LoveYourself. Your happiness is more based on you loving yourself and being less concerned about other people’s opinions and approval.
-Takes to loving yourself will follow soon-