How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

Nice guys finish last

That is a sentence that we all hear, dear nice guys. And unfortunately, it is the truth. Whether we try to impress girls by buying her sweet things or by being there for her if she needs us - we get rejected and friendzoned.

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

Now take a look at this picture, dear ladies and gents. What do you see here?

Normal human beings see a guy who takes care of himself, who is very well dressed and groomed and seems to be trying to give his crush some flowers.

Girls would say that this is a creepy guy trying to be her doormat in order to have sex with her. Of course girls would say that, they are saying this because they want a guy who looks like THIS

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

Ladies and gents, allow me to introduce the alpha male, the dominant one, the one guy who attracts all women and who lets all the good guys look like losers: Chad Thundercock.

Now, as you all know, nice guys, you will never be like Chad, and you don't WANT to be like Chad, because Mr. Thundercock is way out of your league. What you nice guys do, instead of trying to improve yourself, is becoming extremely bitter towards women, solely for the reason that you get rejected for them, BECAUSE YOU ARE JERKS. Because in reality, you aren't nice guys. Please mark my words, ladies and gents.

Nice guys aren't nice at all in reality

Let me give you an example. I have a "friend", let's call him Wolfgang. Wolfgang is your typical nice guy, submissive, never trying to smile, saying women are the reason for all the misery in life. He's a follower of MGTOW and Incel and ForeverAlone on Reddit.

One time, he had a date with a woman. What did he do with her?

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

He tried to be FRIENDS with her. Why? Simple, because he couldn't speak like a man and tell her, that he wants a relationship with her, so instead, he tried to do it the dirty, sneaky way by becoming her friend.

Rule 1: Be direct about your intentions.

Never, and I say it again, NEVER try becoming friends with a woman if you have romantic interest in her. At the and, you don't want her as a friend. Be straight forward and tell her that you like her in a romantic way.

What happens if a nice guy got rejected?

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

He becomes bitter and wines around like some pussy.

Rule 2: STOP being a fucked pussy bitchin' around if you get rejected

Simply be polite and walk away, thank her for her time and leave her, as she isn't the cause for you not being attractive to her.

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

See that guy? What makes him so attractive for women that they get wet down there simply by seeing him? He's muscular. If you compare him to the guy in the first picture, you can see that being muscular makes a difference. Even if you don't do it for women, do it for yourself and for your own health. You'll feel much better at the end.

Rule 3: Workout

Every person needs to have a circle of friends. Having friends will help you in becoming more confident and they will be there for you if you have any problems. They are a second family.

What I just said now ist the truth, but I want you to go a step further and become the leader of your friend's group. Be assertive and if you see your friends only sitting on the porch and watching TV, drinking beer (one of the most unattractive traits a man can have, I tell you) just take the lead and bring them out of this mood, decide what is best for you and your group to do next. Wanna go and play some sports? Do it. Wanna go to the club? Go and take your friends with you.

Rule 4: Be assertive with your friends

Finally, what I can tell you is to live your life and don't take it too seriously. Be spontaneous at times.

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

Always wanted to visit this magnificent city, Venice, one day? (Btw you really have to visit it, I was there recently and you must have seen it at least once) You have saved enough money and you have time in two weeks? Just do it, go there and stroll the city.

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

Or have you ever thought about visiting Egypt? This is the Sinai peninsula, one of the most beautiful places in the world. You have sceneries like this over there

How to Attract Girls as a Nice Guy

So my last lesson for today

Rule 5: Enjoy life

Best of luck!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "It is too bad that you have a bf"
    Similar to the example, that happens often to me and I don't know how to react...

    Anyway I really like the thinking of friends like a second family, it's true!
    Friends really help me a lot with mood, we help each other, most times they make decisions but it's nice to convince them sometimes even though I'm not the friends family leader heheh

    *btw I know this take maybe is for guys mainly (hopefully helpful for them) but pictures were really catchy so I read everything 😛

    Thank you for writing it!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nice is not the same thing as passive-aggressive, no matter how much these FAKE "alpha male" turds like to claim it is. Nice means that you don't try to turn every date into a date rape. It means you don't consider yourself to be an "alpha male"--you don't CARE if you're an "alpha male", because real alpha males have far more important things to do than prove that they're "alpha males". (As an aside, there actually can only be ONE alpha male at any time, all the rest are betas or lower--that's how that terminology works. Do you actually physically rule your city or country? Then you're not really an alpha male. Alpha males aren't the muscular oafs, they're the rulers, the movers and shakers, the ones who HIRE the muscular oafs.)

    Anyway, nice also means that you are NOT ENTITLED.
    Nice means that you actually CARE about other people, even if you don't have much of a clue on social niceties. If all you are about is treating women like vending machines, where you drop in "nice acts" and get out a bit of candy, you're not nice. You're just a passive-aggressive douchebag.

    Start by actually learning to care about other people, not about trying to manipulate them. That's the foundation of nice.

    All else shall fall into place.

    Worked for me.

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    • LOVE the vending machine analogy... LOVE IT. Except i had a totally different concept in mind lol.
      Mine was more, candy turns out to be expired, so you try again lol

    • Absolutely right, here I’m trying to describe the „nice“ guys who aren’t actually nice, but pretend to be so and feel entitled to get women simply by being nice.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I thought this was going to be another “nice guy” ranting. I was surprised.

    I disagree with you on one thing though:
    -though muscle is attractive to a lot of women, it doesn’t actually matter that much to most. What DOES matter is how broad your shoulders are. Aim for a “masculine” look rather than muscle.

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    • You don't have to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, it's simply the fact that working out enables you to become more confident and healthier. :)

  • Nothing makes a guy more attractive than the ability to keep his polite demeanour after being rejected. It might make you question whether you've made a mistake by rejecting him haha.

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    • The dumbest thing a guy can do after being rejected is to come back.

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    • @BigJake In that case, whether telling her off or not won't change her mind. I was referring to polite rejections like 'sorry, but I'm not interested.' or 'sorry, but I have a boyfriend.'

    • I don't condone guys reacting violently to a rejection. But you're assuming that all girls are gracious when rejecting guys. That is simply not true.

  • I got halfway through and stopped reading. Not all "nice guys" look like the guy in the first photo. That is so stereotypical. I look at the other photos of men you posted and think am I supposed to feel something? Whatever. I feel nothing. If anything they look too muscular and are probably super conceited and sexually aggressive. Pass. I prefer the quirky, intelligent, modest, lanky, and slightly toned and muscular guy. Now this photo of a young John Slattery from Mad Men gives me the feels.

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    • In this Take I tried to portray the stereotype of a NiceGuy™ who portrays himself the way the first guy does and portrays the type of guy women prefer in the second and third picture. So it is very pithy and bold, nothing that reflects reality.

  • Muscles are a bit too much for me. I'd prefer none at all over those pictures. The ideal would be a kind of lanky guy, small built. With just slight muscle. Not too much above average.

    I don't know just a weird preference.

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    • Not weird at all, every woman has her own preferences. I took those pictures because they show you the stereotypical NiceGuy™

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    • You're a teen, wait till you grow up.

    • @azzntittiz I don't think either of us can predict the future haha

  • Most so-called self-proclaimed nice guys aren't nice.

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    • That's exactly my point.

    • Yep, just like those people who say "I don't bullshit" are the ones always full of shit haha

  • I've slept with some very nice men. They were kind, friendly with everyone, and very respectful. But they were also assertive, funny, genuine, and attractive.

    The niceness isn't the reason for some guys' dating fails. It's everything else he's missing.

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  • The muscles in those pictures aren't necessary to be attractive to women. It's hot but definitely not needed. My husband is a nice guy and very attractive without being cut, he's not very social but he's not socially awkward either. Which is kind of what you showed in the beginning of the take. Attraction isn't everything to everyone but it does play a role. Being an awkward person on top of her not being attracted to you is going to be a turn off.
    Anyway, I agree with your assessment and advice. This could go for women that have this similar problem as well.

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    • Every woman has a different type.

      In this Take i simply tried to show the reality of a stereotypical nice guy who feels entitled to women by simply being „nice“.

  • Dating is really rough and it's really rough for those who have "low" self esteem who think that they are "not liked" by most women... so maybe you should change that outlook. Think that most girls would be lucky to have you, and list the reasons why. If you don't think you have enough reasons why most girls would like you then work on some.
    -have a great career (book: What should I do with my life)
    -work on good character (book: the road to character)
    -work on relationship skills (book: 7 principles for making marriage work)
    -work on your self esteem (book: 7 habits of highly effective people)
    -work on your financial goals (book: total money makeover)
    -work on your personality and your attitude (book: boundaries)
    -work on your empathy skills (book: daring greatly)

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    • "have a great career"
      in Computer Science, HOW? "Women in Computer Science" are making sure HR just throws out any resume that comes with an EEO form saying "male" and "asian" or "white".
      I am a Graduate Research Assistant, I have 2 papers coming out and a third where I might be the second author. All within 1 year of coming to the US after being unemployable in Pakistan due to social anxiety. I consider myself really really lucky to have this job and always thank God for it, yet for the hundreds of actual jobs I have applied for, it seems that my resume gets thrown out.
      On the other hand a Palestenian-American girl tells me last semester that she interviewed at Amazon, openly saying that it is because she is in her own words a "double minority" to me and a white ex-military guy who coulden't get a job.
      I have also seen managers openly say that on Quora.
      You can't have a husband with a job while also trying to take away that job.

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    • @shephardjhon you consider yourself really lucky to have your job and thank God for it... that's all you need. I mean a lot of people go through what you go through to land a job. Finding a job isn't easy for EVERYONE. Maybe for that girl or some other person but for me it was always hard as well. At least you have a job! now go and work on your other personality traits! Be more proactive, less reactive. Be less negative and complaining and ONLY be understanding and wise. good luck

    • @cavmanier
      I actually saw that video earlier. I think that guy is actually an American citizen of Indian origin. I am a Pakistani on F1 visa. Aside from moral reasons, I don't want to lie on a form going to the US government and block myself from change of Visa status to H1 or going back to Pakistan if I want.

  • People can sense when you're not being sincere and self proclaimed nice guys are not nice. I've had guys be straight up creeps, grope and assault me while crying that I am a selfish woman and bad things will happen to me because I don't like good men. He basically put his finger in my pussy while I was asleep, that is rape and I was a virgin.

    People who force you to like them, are not people who want you fro the right reasons. if you like someone you want them to be happy and you will wish them the best even if it hurts. Some people are just creeps yo.

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  • I like nice guys but they do not exist.

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  • Easy to tell the guy in the blue bikini is circumcised. lol

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  • satire...

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  • The 2 jocks in your photos look ugly and apparently have small units.

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  • No one listen to this crap.

    1. "Never, and I say it again, NEVER try becoming friends with a woman if you have romantic interest in her" - SOOOO inaccurate. The best relationships from my own experience and those around me are the ones who actually were friends before dating. You dont creep to someone you dont know and expect them to love you for the rest of your life just like that. You befriend them, see if you even like who they actually are, make sure they ain't a bitch who will steal your money in the future, isn't the type to cheat and/or divorce you, be over protective, expect marriage, etc. I dont understand how people date someone they JUST met & complain when it obviously goes wrong. Common sense, please.

    2. "What makes him so attractive for women that they get wet down there simply by seeing him? He's muscular. If you compare him to the guy in the first picture, you can see that being muscular makes a difference." - Muscular does not make a difference, no. As long as you aren't looing sickly skinny, you're fine. Im a 6/7 & I like guys who are just toned, but still can be attracted to even less than that. I dont mind muscular either, but not tooo muscular. But my best friend is a 10, guys always ask her out, and she absolutely cannot get attracted to even medium-muscular builds. Toned at best, is okay for her. Most girls detest OVER-muscular builds. So no, not true.

    3. "become the leader of your friend's group" - So have friends who pawns & you'll be cool. Nah. What is this, a gangbang? Why does your friend group need a hierarchy with you on top for you to feel attractive. Sounds downright insecure to me if you need followers to feel good. You ain't school kids to have a leader of your clique, High school musical.

    The only correct one; 4. For obvious reasons.

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    • Thank you, I appreciate your criticism, I think we agree to disagree on this topic.

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    • And by the way to come to speak about your first point: I mean it in the way that a guy is attracted to a woman but he doesn't dare to tell her about his feelings, THAT is not good.

      If there was mutual friendship from the beginning and over the course of time they became attracted to each other and liked each other's personality, this is indeed a great thing.

      But having feelings for a girl and staying with her as a friend without even wanting a friendship is toxic.

    • I see~ I understand what you mean better.
      I still must disagree, from my current relationship's beginnings.
      For instance, my boyfriend was attracted to me physically when he first saw me and when i went over to talk to him (he was playing a two player in-interactive game), he was both funny & easy to talk to, but he was also failing miserably at the game, which NOW I've been told is because he was distracted because of me. But at the time, i of course didn't know that and thought his bad-gaming at an easy game was both adorable & hilarious. These qualities made me develop an interest in him. We caught up again a month from then, with our mutual friends and became friends whilst still heavily interested in each other. He didn't tell me, nor did he have the courage he liked me, despite my subtle flirting (& his own version of flirting) until he was tipsy, haaha.
      Friendship was what made me love him & i realised how great he was through it. I wouldn't been nearly as comfortable, otherwise.

  • Disagree and agree

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    • You want to explain?

  • Stop assuming every girl bitching about her boyfriend for a minute is with a bad boy jerk.

    We’re all selfish, immature, annoying asshats because we’re human. People we like and love piss us off sometimes. It doesn’t mean women “want to be abused” because she’s mad her boyfriend stayed out with his buds and woke her up when he came home one night or ignored her texts playing Call of Duty when it first came out.

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  • What they need is confidence and assertiveness

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  • They need to stop being a people pleaser... i sure as heck learned my lesson.

    I also read a book called 'why men love bitches' that helped haha. Basically said to stop being a push over and have a back bone

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    • That's not being a bitch though.

    • @Charleslvajr then what is it caz I notice bitches don't take shit

  • good take.

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What Guys Said 49

  • Umm... Nice... Take?
    I don't think anything in there helps the "Nice" guy attract girls... matter of fact the only advice i saw that seemed relevant was what to do AFTER getting rejected.
    But i read it, i get your point, I thought you were gonna hand out tips but you were scrutinizing. I especially like the part where you said they aren't really nice, hey, i realized something new. That shit is true.

    Speaking as a previous nice guy (decades ago) yea, that shit don't work... my advice to "nice" guys is:
    1) Use this writer's Take Rule 3... work out, you don't have to be muscular, just have a little curve.

    2) This Take's Rule 1, always be clear with your intentions, let me add a little on top of that, ALWAYS speak your mind when dealing with a female. In my experience, women get offended by everything. So why walk on eggshells trying NOT to offend her and she still gets offended. So don't give a fuck, speak your mind. If she gets offended... move on. More fish in the sea.
    Im not saying be creepy like that second text pic, trying to put another guy down, NEVER do that. That is a sign of insecurity. Just makes her attracted to whomever you are putting down. Only females do that shit, putting someone else down.

    3) And this is my own personal rule I've written about numerous times..."transcend the vagina"... if you are going about all that "niceness" just because you hope she will let you put your Peter in her Jojo, you are in for a bitter, Bitter disappointment. This ain't the movies. All women think they know men just because they know the "endgame".. sex. They don't know shit. but they think they do, because of these nice guys who want it so bad. So throw em off. Be romantic, give compliments, offer assistance, be a gentleman, but never EVER say anything even remotely sexual... not even about a kiss. and sometimes they bring it up themselves as a test... change the topic.
    You do your part, and their crazy minds will do the rest for you.

    And THAT's how you attract girls as a "Nice" Guy lol.
    To the Writer of this Take, sorry for hijacking your Take lol 😔😒😉

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    • Thanks for your criticism, I appreciate it. You made some important points as well.

    • Very welcome sir. Could have summed this up in one sentence... Dont give a fuck lol

  • First of all, dont post a pic of a guy wearing a speedo and then describe an alpha.
    Nonononono,,,,
    That is gay af.

    Now the second pic of a fit guy, thats a lot better.

    Now that that is over, i wanted to say that being muscular will help you a lot more than you think.

    Muscles do to men what makeup does to women. Exept that our sh*t is real.

    I can't count on both my hands how many girls who said "too many muscles are gross" were eyeing down muscular guys when they walked by. And no , i can attest that they didn't think of them as gross.

    The only time i think a girl would find a guy gross due to muslcles , is when he is too big for his height. Some girls aren't into short stocky guys, thats true.

    Or if you look unnaturally big like an ifbb pro.
    But if you are a natty, you will never look like that anyway. So lift away!!

    , and for the last part, if you think drinking beer is unattractive, i will disagree.
    I read in some study that women pictured their ideal man as eating meat and drinking beer once in a while. Yeah

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    • If you just drink one beer every few weeks it's fine, but don't become drunk every weekend, that is gross.

    • I drink beer every other day dude 😂😂😂.
      That sh*t doesn't get me drunk.
      You only get drunk from beer if you are starting out or if you drink a ton of it.
      Having one or two beers makes you slightly fuzzy at best.

      Beer is a weak alcoholic beverage. I'd be more vary of the hardcore vodka or whiskey drinkers than the beer guys.

      Also, been doing this for a bunch of years, no beer gut, nothing.
      If you keep being active, you won't get the infamous beer gut.

      Also, beer contains a compound called xanthohumol (at least raw beer does)
      That is a really good cancer fighter.

      Im not promoting drinking, but a beer sometimes isn't that bad.

  • With all do respect, i'm so sick of what guys like you belive and spread on the net, just try to grow up, talk to some girls like a mature and try to figure out what they really want. so if all girls taste about men are what you guys thinking and spreading, the gorillas are the most attractive and luckiest guys in the world and they should have their pocket full of chicks! why? because they kill so called "alphas" with on punch, cmon guys, ok, just open another tab, go to google, search for the most beautiful supermodel girls and see who are their men? most of them! are they even similar to your alpha pictures? you can be a douch and go for girls, and you will find? but a girl who wants you o be her soulmate and spend rest of her life with you? no! girls who are looking to just spend a night with you... please all you guys don't try to find the approval that you need by spreading there LIES on the net, you have no idea how many really good and honest guys read this and believe and lose their confidence, instead open your minds, talk to girls and figure out what girlsreally waand forget about all the biology things, look at the world we're living, many things are different from the jungle and world of animals, you believe all a girl is looking for is muscular alpha man to PROTECT her! that's all her need! so why don't hire a bodyguard instead? how many times in a woman life someone tries to rape her and her muscular hero saves her? 0 for 99%. because of the police and jail. they look for someone who can trust at, who can love, who can understand, who can be relied on, they're pretty much more important than physical protection for them. by the way i'm muscular and tall myself, and i'm not a very nice, so i did'nt say all that to satisfy my ego, but to maybe save the hopes of a poor good honest guy who is reading this, and sry for my English

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    • Merci beaucoup pour votre opinion, mais je pense que mon opinion sur cette sujet est complètement different que votre. Bien sur c'est vrais que ce depend sur le gout de la femme, mais en meme temps c'est la biologie de chaque femme qu'elle chose un mec qui est vraiment alpha. Excusez moi de mon français.

    • C'est bien votre francais, t'inquiete pas! :)

  • Good article, but i haze to disagree at some points:
    Well, nice guy would mean a gentle man to me. Those sperm-toxic jerks offending women after being rejected are neither gentle nor nice men.

    Honestly i did some research on my body, before seriously taking on gym workouts, my testosterone was above 20 and estradiol was almost at high level 110, so it did a very nasty thing to me: I was agressive at women. With the regular workouts they both dropped, however, testo needs a powerup for better results. Yes, female hormones make you an aggressive b1tch. It's a misconception, that testosterone makes people aggressive, it's rather estrogenes (a product of testosterone decay) make people aggressive. Like a woman during periods (with estradiol level 100-500 normal for these days). So there's nothing good in being a sperm-toxic guy, you should do a workout and feel calm and potent rather than offending the women.

    Another thing that does not make you a nice guy is your holy faith in that you cannot become as muscular as mr. Thundercock or Bigstock. It's your laziness that prevents you. And a lazy guy is completely a disaster for relationships. You want to argue? Here's the proof
    that even chicks can build their body (and you're just a cock sucker)
    www.womenfitness.net/.../...itive-Bodybuilding.jpg

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  • The advice on handling rejection was good- I'd add to it that you should "rebound" by quickly finding another girl to hit on, if possible.

    To me bBeing a nice guy doesn't mean being a doormat. It means having respect for others, being a good listener and being friendly.

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  • Thanks for sharing your Take with GirlsAskGuys Community.

    Guys, What Qualifies You to be Called Cute by Girls? ↗

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  • You realize that those blue marks on conversation can be uncovered, right?

    Also, men who are nice get ahead where I am from. Why would a woman want a mean man over a nice man? If she does, she's stupid.

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    • I don’t get your first point, sorry.

      Depends on what you mean by nice. If you mean genuinely nice, then yes, they are indeed the most successful. But if you mean „nice“ the way I described, then it’s not.

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    • I scribble messages many time, I was thinking it is safe...
      Hopefully no one experienced seen mine '-'
      Thank you for telling me

    • @Plumy
      You're welcome, Alice.

  • How to attract girls as a nice guy:

    1. You can't.

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  • How to attract girls as a nice guy well you have to have an outstanding personality with lot of charm

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  • I love being a nice guy. Women really do like nice and kind men. They catch feelings quick for me...

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  • Or, just accept who you are and find the person who matches.

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  • Here's the problem with being a nice guy. To be a nice guy, it implies you are being a different guy to the one you are because you don't think you're good enough. That in itself is a big problem because insecurity is not attractive.

    But imagine this: a guy thinks damn I can't get any girls, I know I'll be a nice guy and do all these things for girls. So now he's not being himself, girls can tell he is putting on an act because his nice behaviours seem to come across as desperate. If someone was sure that they were good enough for someone they'd act normal.

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  • TLDR. I generally find a good balance is necessary. don't be a bitch. But don't be an asshole either.

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  • Lol that so-called "alpha" is so fucking gay. WTF are those trunks he's wearing? Are you fucking kidding me?

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  • Well, honestly I've learned this lesson from earlier today, due to a post and for twenty years or more. And one factor is, I'm going to give you a bit of bad news here: "YOU CANNOT BE A NICE GUY!" It works against you, every time, from when you were a baby the women in your family, except you to act out and rebel, say no to certain things and not be this constant Yes, man! Women and most people in general hate approval, they hate sucking up and they certainly hate feelings, complaining talking about your problems, make you look like a pussy. If you are nice guy, you have an hidden agenda, nature twisted it this way, you got to just an edge, not be a jerk, but a nice guy with an edge.

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  • Alternatively, you could do what I've done and just accept your fate and give up on women altogether.

    Simples...

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  • This mentality is killing this generation of men...

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  • Your friend should've stuck to MGTOW. This stuff will never work if you ugly, short and poor.

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  • Ugh im a Nice guy but im also alpha i guess i love it minus the fact social anxiety is a bitch

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  • NOT TRUE BRO. IM A NICE GUY ONLY BECAUSE IM ROMANTIC... And i do not finish last!

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