I'm a Cheater, I've Never Been Caught, Learn to Spot Me

Anonymous

Cheating is wrong, but having sex with new people is GREAT. So, when I get involved in a long term relationship, it only takes about 6 months until I feel the need to stray. I always stray, and nothing seems to fix that, nothing to prevent it. Therefore, because I feel bad, I'll discuss how I do it and how I've always gotten away with it. Maybe this will help you detect people like me and stay away from us.

I'm a Cheater, I've Never Been Caught, Learn to Spot Me

1) Prevent overlapping friend circles between your partners.

If your S/O is a couple years older or younger than you, then you should ONLY look for other people in the opposite direction. They should be more than 4 years apart, that way you know they'll never have been in school together. You should also make sure they don't have the same type of job, church, etc etc as your S/O.

1a) Literally distance yourself.

I live in town, but for work I frequently drive to a suburb 25 miles away. THAT is where I frequently get girls to cheat with. Oh, and speaking of work....

2) Keep your work and personal life separate.

Your coworkers don't need to know what your plans are with your S/O. Nor does your S/O need to know the exact hours you work. I have a high stress job. I frequently work 50ish hours a week. But check this out, a 50 hour work week turns into a 55 work week really easily... but in reality that 5 hours is time you're spending after work with your S/O.

3) Make plans! Stay structured!

Your free time is limited. You need to need to, on a weekly basis, make plans with your S/O. Are y'all going on a date Friday or Saturday? Both? That's fine! You'll 'work' late on Thursday then so you can be free for her. So kind of you right?

4) Snapchat is the greatest.

Use dating apps carefully, once you find your new person, delete the app. You don't wanna run into people you know. Then, don't text the new person, communicate exclusively through Snapchat. Messages go away, and who doesn't like sexy pics. Also, avoid coming off as Snapchat obsessed to your S/O, because she'll get suspicious if she is your top best friend and then isn't sometimes.

5) Make your intentions clear with girl #2.

She doesn't need to know you're cheating. But she DOES need to know that you're hurt emotionally right now and not ready for a real relationship. If that doesn't work for her, then that's okay, you understand. You HAVE to keep #2 at a distance. Don't fall for her. Don't let her fall for you. Hurt feelings will ruin everything.

6) Details are key.

Shower, clean, wash, etc etc. Try not to hook up at your place. Never accept receipts when going out.

7) Rationalize.

Forgive your current S/O for things a more faithful person wouldn't forgive. Understand that time is fluid and if you don't intend to stay with her forever, then aren't you just cheating on your future forever person no matter what? Life is short, you won't regret this and you won't hurt her if she doesn't find out. You've been hurt too, and no one cared when that happened, so why should you? If everyone is only invested in making their own life the best life possible, shouldn't you be doing the same? And when she asks if you've ever cheated before? You'll know the answer will be no, because cheating is something ugly and terrible, and you're not that bad.

I'm a Cheater, I've Never Been Caught, Learn to Spot Me
101 Opinion