I'm a Cheater, I've Never Been Caught, Learn to Spot Me

Cheating is wrong, but having sex with new people is GREAT. So, when I get involved in a long term relationship, it only takes about 6 months until I feel the need to stray. I always stray, and nothing seems to fix that, nothing to prevent it. Therefore, because I feel bad, I'll discuss how I do it and how I've always gotten away with it. Maybe this will help you detect people like me and stay away from us.

I'm a Cheater, I've Never Been Caught, Learn to Spot Me

1) Prevent overlapping friend circles between your partners.

If your S/O is a couple years older or younger than you, then you should ONLY look for other people in the opposite direction. They should be more than 4 years apart, that way you know they'll never have been in school together. You should also make sure they don't have the same type of job, church, etc etc as your S/O.

1a) Literally distance yourself.

I live in town, but for work I frequently drive to a suburb 25 miles away. THAT is where I frequently get girls to cheat with. Oh, and speaking of work....

2) Keep your work and personal life separate.

Your coworkers don't need to know what your plans are with your S/O. Nor does your S/O need to know the exact hours you work. I have a high stress job. I frequently work 50ish hours a week. But check this out, a 50 hour work week turns into a 55 work week really easily... but in reality that 5 hours is time you're spending after work with your S/O.

3) Make plans! Stay structured!

Your free time is limited. You need to need to, on a weekly basis, make plans with your S/O. Are y'all going on a date Friday or Saturday? Both? That's fine! You'll 'work' late on Thursday then so you can be free for her. So kind of you right?

4) Snapchat is the greatest.

Use dating apps carefully, once you find your new person, delete the app. You don't wanna run into people you know. Then, don't text the new person, communicate exclusively through Snapchat. Messages go away, and who doesn't like sexy pics. Also, avoid coming off as Snapchat obsessed to your S/O, because she'll get suspicious if she is your top best friend and then isn't sometimes.

5) Make your intentions clear with girl #2.

She doesn't need to know you're cheating. But she DOES need to know that you're hurt emotionally right now and not ready for a real relationship. If that doesn't work for her, then that's okay, you understand. You HAVE to keep #2 at a distance. Don't fall for her. Don't let her fall for you. Hurt feelings will ruin everything.

6) Details are key.

Shower, clean, wash, etc etc. Try not to hook up at your place. Never accept receipts when going out.

7) Rationalize.

Forgive your current S/O for things a more faithful person wouldn't forgive. Understand that time is fluid and if you don't intend to stay with her forever, then aren't you just cheating on your future forever person no matter what? Life is short, you won't regret this and you won't hurt her if she doesn't find out. You've been hurt too, and no one cared when that happened, so why should you? If everyone is only invested in making their own life the best life possible, shouldn't you be doing the same? And when she asks if you've ever cheated before? You'll know the answer will be no, because cheating is something ugly and terrible, and you're not that bad.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How to be a shitty person basically

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you know that you will become bored with a LTR, why get into one? Is it just to get frequent sex?

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What Girls Said 45

  • Honestly, praise you. I mean, you're kind of a piece of shit for what you do, but at least you're making good out of it. Plus, this is an interesting perspective that few people get to see. This is the kind of shit I want to see on G@G.

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  • You do know you suck so alright, fine.
    then what I can say is that know, this doesn't help your suckage in anyway. This isn't some karma balancing act, there is no good juju for explaining how you cheat, you suck and unfortunately are still cheating scum.

    What makes it all the more horrific is that you don't even plan to stop. You don't even make it sound as if your trying.
    I know I have no right to judge you, but you are the kind of person that makes me utterly sick and scared of people, ultimately weary of all, weary of an individual's capacity to do whats 'right' or whats 'wrong'.

    Cause what your doing is horrific. I hope you get caught, I hope you understand, I don't know or care how, I just hope you UNDERSTAND, not just know or acknowledge, like you have in this post, but TRULY UNDERSTAND, the horror the tragedy the cruelty of what you are doing.

    And I hope it hits you like a freight train.
    You hurt people, intentionally. You know it too.
    I am just missing the part where said cruelty actually tears you up inside and eats your conscious? Or is that part just not there?

    Love, affection, TRUST are not things to be trifled with.
    If you can't use the head on your shoulders - not in your pants - to UNDERSTAND the weight of the damage you inflict then you haven't though much about your own actions at all.
    If you have however, and I'm just someone how missing this b/c this article does not explicitly depict individual character, then I do stand corrected.

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  • My opinion of cheaters will always and forever be indifference. Both genders do it for their own reasons and being faithful in a relationship is quite rare these days. Doesn't mean I approve of it. Just try not to get caught buddy. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

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  • Ya know, I'll never be able to wrap my head around why someone would want to be in a "monogamous" relationship and potentially really hurt someone by cheating, over having a handful of committed fuckbuddies.

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  • stealthy.

    hot japanese guys are players and fuck around a lot but at least they don't use the "i'm hurt emotionally and need cuddles" shtick. they just say they're too busy to make time for a girlfriend. and more often than not it's true. they openly admit that they just want to play.

    how depraved.

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    • Im American and think Japanese guys are hot, yes and if they don't lie about wanting to play around the better, but I don't want cheaters no matter where he is from

  • hi your honed skills you have acquired would show a deal of experience because you are anon, it is not showing your age, would you be willing to share that? Why bother staying with a person if you desire another? purely for your own sake?

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  • Was this a how to cheat or a how to spot a cheater? lmao
    I would go with you're teaching people how to cheat.
    Why bother being in a relationship if 6 months is the best you can offer someone? 6 months is nothing. Seriously just stay single then fuck whoever as much as you want without hurting anyone. All you are is showing that you're a selfish hurtful prick doing it the way you do. Single and screwing around just makes you not the relationship type. You're not the bad guy if you are single.

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  • I dont even think you are hard to spot. one can simply not spend an entire week's evening at work or with friends from work

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    • thats not true, my job frequently keeps me quite late

    • what if your girlfriend wants to install a gps tracker in your phone to know where you are?

    • that's also true.

      ou may think unspottable but i believe your girlfriends are just not that smart. a girlfriend of mine once told me the same, i knew something was going on and so i told her he is cheating. she discovered all his dating apps within a week, even matched with him thinking he found a new one, and followed his distance and all. he was also using snapchat. sorry but we are not stupid. it maye take 1 month to notice rather than 1 week but eventually some of us easily figure out.

      my suggestion is just make sure you dont carry std's around. then it is sure you're fucked if your girlfriend gets something even though she's been faithful.

      And just know that you are a vile, a piece of human thrash for being so oblivious to the consequences of cheating, and coming here and bragging about something that is the most disgusting thing that may happen in a relationship, and giving advice to others.

  • Don't care you are a man whore, but cheating is the most vile thing you could do. Thank God most people realize cheating is wrong.

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  • I hope she's cheating with your pops, that would be a fabulous end to your relationship! Great take.

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  • So much work to not get caught.. I'd rather just break up.

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  • You'll fit right in with the rest of cheating married men in the Philippines where cheating on wives is almost common practice.

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  • I just have a question. Do you get jealous if your find out that your partner knew what you've been doing all along and has a sex friend?

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  • Omg im such a cheat and good at it which makes me sound a bitch, i can't help flirting and i have left a nightclub with another guy when me and my ex were out x

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    • I know I am older than you but I am the same-it is just so arousing to me

  • I dont approve of cheating but you raise good points. I commend you.
    However you forgot one - if you are gonna lie - stick to your story. Don't make it too intricate so that your forget details.

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  • No wonder I’ve been in shitty/ cheating relationships. :o can’t trust no one

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  • It would be so much less cruel and easier if you just didn't have an SO to torture and stayed single/polyamorous/whatever. I think you do this to boost your ego, which is pathetic.

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  • Well, if my partner turns out to be the best cheater...

    God is watching so why worry? :')

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  • And the award for the most terrible person I have encountered today goes to...

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  • So... why do you have steady relationships? What's the point?

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    • Access to several vaginas at any given point in time. Guys need variety.

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    • Totally true but oftentimes there's more security in having a few "committed fuckbuddies" and a relationship than a new slut every week. The other huge reason guys think this way is because all our lives we are taught that a relationship is good and casual sex is bad. Many guys then find a relationship and realize that... in all honesty... it kind of sucks. So we tend to start cheating but we don't want to hurt our girlfriends' feelings.

    • Oh one more thing. Not every man can have many vaginas without having a girlfriend. A good looking player can but the average man has to relinquish himself into a relationship for constant sex. And eventually that average man gets frustrated and bored so he starts talking to multiple women.

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What Guys Said 52

  • Seems like you should avoid relationships altogether. FWB/casual sex seem to be right up your alley and no one gets hurt, as is the case with your current modus operandi.

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  • Anonymous. Of course. No, in this case, I kind of get it.
    “having sex with new people is GREAT” No. No, it’s not. Having sex with someone you know, you trust and with who you are in relationship is great. You know each other’s needs and kinks.
    You feel bad, but you still do that. I’m sorry, what is supposed to be my reaction? Feel sorry for you or…? Words are kind of cheap and people lie. What people do, that’s what matters.
    S/O. I never got that. Why that slash in middle? Is it significant/other? Do you see, how it changes meaning? But again, we’re talking about country/language (see what I did there?), where they put dollar sign before amount. I’m sorry, am I supposed to read it dollars 5? No, not even you do that. Illogical, seriously.
    …miles, here we go. Retarded units alert.
    I’m sorry, I get back on the topic.
    So, basically, it’s about being strictly rational, borderline sociopathic, cold, really secretive, lying and dishonest. Do I get it right?
    Let me tell you something positive though. Thank you for coming out. I always wanted to know, how this works. I might figure it out, sure, but I don’t want to. I have opposite values, and this is like “know your enemy” type of information.
    It might come up in comments, but I’d like to say it myself. I don’t care, if cheater is man or woman. This doesn’t matter. What matter then? Well…cheating, obviously. And…you know what? In my mind, cheaters aren’t relationship material. I despise this kind of behavior, and to everyone who does this, I only wish it would become public. You wanted more? Now you’ve lost everything.
    I still have mixed feelings. It’s good article and so on, but…it describes something absolutely so…disgusting…

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    • the abbreviation for between is b/t. for without it is w/o.

    • OK. That doesn't mean they are illogical. Why the slash there? It just doesn't make sense.

  • Well, putting aside whats wrong and whats right, great Take.
    I dont wish you to be caught, but I do wish your woman is making hell of a time when you're not around. Just for the sake of balance in life. (-:
    But like my mother says:
    "Every thieve's end is to be hanged", so careful.
    I'd always prefer not to bother my mind with such paranoia.
    there's a reason why Im almost 31 and look like in my 20's, and the reason is:
    PEACE OF MIND.

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    • "there's a reason why Im almost 31 and look like in my 20's, and the reason is:
      PEACE OF MIND."

      Damn...
      And I actually look like 30.
      I blame my childhood and nonstop depressions.

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    • @Unit1
      You must join us someday <3

    • Count me in, bro 👊😎

  • Cheating is a despicable act and you don't even feel bad for it? To me that's a mark of cowardice, you are weak willed and sociopathic. Stay out of relationships, good people don't deserve to be stuck with some one like you the least you could do is not drag any one else down with you.

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  • Lol you are a piece of shit but I agree with you 100%.

    Monogamy is over-rated. I've had three relationships now and my experience definitely hasn't been what I thought it would be lol. I cracked under the pressure of my third relationship and just said fuck it. Cheated on her. Most refreshing feeling in the world. I hate to admit it but I would do it again.

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  • BWAHAHAHHAHAAA, this must be satire. But good information. So you call your side chick your S/O? What do you call your steady then?

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    • tbh, i realized after i posted that i messed up with that a couple times, heh

  • You’ll get caught sooner or later, I just hope karma hits you hard when it happens.

    Every serial cheater I’ve met thinks they’re just as smart as you, it always blows up in their face eventually

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  • I think this post is a fraud, put up just to stir some controversy. The poster knows that people will be "outraged and disgusted", and he'll get lots of attention. Don't do it. I've already given him too much attention.

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  • I guess you're right in some ways... it's hard to catch a cheater like that
    But why be in a monogamous relationship in the first place?
    It's like having your cake and eating it too

    But I guess not everyone is monogamous when it is treated as the norm and non-monogamous people have trouble finding people of similar tastes
    I don't mind cheating or being cheated on as long as the relationship does not break up over that reason

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  • May your balls shrivel up to the size of peanuts, and your ass grow at a unhealthy rate.

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  • What we learned from this post,
    OP is a terrible human being

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  • Uhh... Thanks for letting us know, I guess? I really only came for the xPer, and now the comments section has me questioning whether the end times are sooner than I thought. Granted, I had no idea of a timeline for the end times before, but still

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  • Go to next level, dood. Get a rotation based job to spend days with the new chigz =D

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  • I lose faith in humanity when I read shit like this lol. That's fucking horrible man.

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  • No point in cheating. If you feel so guilty, just fuck. Get a dog if you're lonely.

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  • I'm sorry bruh but I strongly disagree with the idea of cheating

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  • Nothing wrong with having a side chick. Good job never getting caught

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    • Equally nothing wrong with having a side dick either. I wonder why women never get a "good job" or "thumbs up" for cheating and rather called to be sluts?

      Cheating is the most lowly thing one can do in a relationship. Just accept that. So there is everything wrong with having a side chick.

    • @CT_CD I doubt you'll give me an honest answer to the following question. When you write shit like this do you truly feel that way or are you trolling just get a reaction, but don't feel that way?

  • I don't promote cheater with somebody else. But this is an accurate article.

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  • you forgot 1 Point and that is "Dont be a asshole and hurt anyone"

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  • The fact that this post is so right bothers me. If you feel bad about cheating though, why do you do it?

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