Before anyone takes the initiative to chew my head off, I am aware that there is no such thing as "the one". When I refer to the one, I am speaking of an individual(s) that you have a special connection with from multiple aspects, with the intention of building a long lasting relationship.
I have dealt with a low self-esteem for years and this deterred me from feeling confident in myself to regularly be social. I thought I would never find a boyfriend or have sex.
I was asked out by a few guys in my highschool and signed up for dating apps here and there throughout the years to connect with people, considering I am not the most social individual.
Let me start by saying that I have high expectations for a relationship. I rejected those guys and preferred to maintain a friendship with them, since they seemed like decent people to begin with. What was missing was that overall attraction from an emotional and physical standpoint.
I am aware that I am not a 9 out of 10 or considered beautiful by any means, but I believe I am entitled to have standards. And, I am picky. If I do not feel something, why pursue the relationship and waste our time?
I am in my early twenties and recently entered my first relationship, which was sadly short lived. The relationship ended mutually and we decided to maintain a friendship. Back to square one.
I am not composing this myTake to come across as bitter, even though that is how I feel at times. From this experience, I have learnt to stop placing emphasis on my worth being dependent on my relationship status. This gave me the motivation to love myself and embrace my quirks.
I am overcoming the low self-esteem and taking the time to fix myself before I can make it work with someone else. I am not religious and know this time period can be tough for you ladies, if you are in this stage. This is a phase applicable to all ages.
I am human. I get envious when I see other women in what seems to be happy relationship on social media, finding their soulmate and landing their dream job. I wish nothing but the best for these individuals and hate to come across as infantile with that statement.
I feel stuck. I do nor know what to do. And as negative as it sounds, I feel like I will never find the guy that will make my heart flutter. It seems difficult to form friendships with where I am in life, working full-time and attending college full-time as an online student.
My parents divorced when I was younger and the amount of relationships I have seen dwindle before my eyes can be discouraging. I cannot help but want to expect the worst in these types of predicaments.
Relationships are a gamble, life as a whole is. I have tried online dating and I generally end up feeling discouraged a majority of the time. I hate how others presume this is due to my selectiveness, as I am aware that I need to be realistic in my search for the right guy.
And regardless of the encouraging words revolving around the struggle, they all seem cliche. Most of the individuals that believe I will find this special person are mostly single or are in what seems to be a miserable relationship. I refuse to settle for someone that makes me feel mediocre. Meeting people in person is discouraging too. I do not know many people and it is difficult to approach an individual or show interest in someone to potentially be pursued.
I know I am in my early twenties. I know I have time to find the right guy. However, nothing in life is guaranteed and I have to realize that it may not go as planned. What in life generally does?
I know I am not alone in this. Loneliness stinks. Companionship is wonderful. Whether you are in your twenties, high school or even at a later stage in your life, all we can have is hope. All we can do is try and put ourselves out there, time and time again.
There is no timeline. The process might be discouraging. May fate be on your side!