Why Don't Girls Like You? You're a NICE GUY!

Why Don't Girls Like You? You're a NICE GUY!

You're a nice guy, SOOOOOOOO NICE! And the "girls" don't like you. WHY? Why, oh why, oh whiny whine whine why?

You are not a nice guy. You THINK you're a nice guy, but you're not. You're a whiny, entitled bitch-boy. Real nice guys do NOT treat women like vending machines, where you drop in a handful of "nice" and pussy pops out for you. When you think you are somehow entitled to some pussy just because you're "nice", that is exactly what you are doing.

You were about to lie to me and tell me it's not about getting pussy. It IS about getting pussy, because if it weren't about getting pussy , you would not be upset that the last 95,000 women you dropped a load of "nice" on treated you like a beloved sister. You'd be THRILLED. But they won't go to the "next level". Of course, "next level" means pussy, what ELSE would it mean, because what ELSE are you not getting "from" them?

It's not about "being loved", either. Being "friendzoned" IS being loved, but there's never going to be any pussy involved. Yes, pussy plus love is best, but right now, you can get love without pussy and THAT is what is really bothering you.

Of course, you could be the lowest of the bitch-boys, the creepy bitch-boy, who gets so obviously bent out of shape that once he is denied pussy he loses out even on a potential friendship. So, you might be losing both ways, either way, I'm addressing all of you.

Why Don't Girls Like You? You're a NICE GUY!

Most women do not actually sell their pussy. Some do, and I don't mean outright prostitution. I mean women who will fuck on the basis of some guy dropping something on them that they like. However, "nice" is almost never the currency of buying pussy. "Bad" can buy pussy. "Rich" can buy pussy. "Exciting" can buy pussy. You are none of these, so you try to use "nice" to buy pussy. The problem is that it's outright evil to even approach women in such a fashion. It also won't work. Sadly, the women who keep falling for "bad boys" really are selling themselves. They're selling themselves cheap because they see themselves as less than fully human. They treat themselves like property.

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO RESCUE THEM. You are not their daddies. Anyway, if you did rescue them, it would be creepy and evil to then try to have a "relationship" with them. When you try to buy pussy with "nice", you are attempting to offer something that you think someone has a shortage of. What would that be? Basic human dignity. Men who try to trade "nice" for pussy almost never target the happy, successful women who have a great relationship history. They go for women who look vulnerable. They try to VICTIMIZE those women. Offering heroin as an incentive is every bit as much victimization as threatening beatings as a punishment.

Why are you trying to buy pussy with "nice"? It's probably because you have no fucking clue how relationships actually work. Why? Who cares? We start any journey from where we are, not from where we used to be.

You have choices.

1) Do what you are always doing. Get what you have always had.

2) Be really stupid and try to become a pick-up artist just to get pussy.

3) Fix it.

Presuming your choice is 3. You first need to work on you. There is plenty of non-pussy love available. You're going to have to honestly admit that you want love PLUS pussy. Love plus pussy is wonderful! We can use flowery language like "romantic love" or "conjugal bliss", but the nuts and bolts come down to love plus pussy.

Why Don't Girls Like You? You're a NICE GUY!

Step 1: You can't buy it. You CANNOT BUY IT! You can't drop a pile of "nice" and expect a woman to make you her everything in exchange. It is not a transaction. This kind of relationship is the MOST SEXUAL THING IN THE UNIVERSE! You don't receive sex, you DO sex. What I mean is that this is the creation of a new entity of which each of you is a part but which greater than the two of you combined. That can't be bought. It can't be earned. You do not deserve it. NOBODY deserves it. Stop whining about not having it.

I'm not getting metaphysical. A real relationship creates a unit. You can each be autonomous and have full identities within that unit, but the unit has its own identity and dynamic in addition to the individuals'. Think about that. No, THINK about it. You can't buy that any more than you can buy getting in better condition. You could pay for a gym and a trainer, but YOU still have to do the exercise. A relationship is not a reward, it's an activity.

Step 2: Stop looking for victims. Start looking for partners. You are attracted to women who are acutely or chronically vulnerable. Stop. If you really feel the need to be Captain Save-a-Ho, go for it, but stop expecting any payback. Do it for its own sake and let them go on their way with their lives. You've become a girlfriend. Rock out on it, but don't expect it to be anything else. Otherwise, vulnerable women are not to be your "recruiting pool".

Step 3: Figure out WHAT you want from a relationship, be concrete. Be specific. Be honest. If all you really want is "companionship", get a dog. If you don't have the guts to admit that sex is part of the deal, you don't deserve a relationship with sex in it. Be honest to yourself about yourself.

Where you go from there is up to you, but it would probably also be a good idea to stop being haphazard. Stop trying to swoop down on women who probably aren't looking for a relationship at all. Start being DELIBERATE.

That might mean networking, using a local dating service, finding a local "meetup", using an online service, but this opinion piece has gone on long enough. Think of it as a job search. When you are buying something, you just offer the money and get the goods. When you are trying to get a job, you actually have to put in some work. It won't fall on your lap out of nowhere.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you want a girl who is trash and who only dates for surface than your advice is golden. But the trouble is if guys are nice they ain't showing it. They ignore a girl instead of getting the cojones to ask her out. Women aren't mind readers, at least try to establish a friendship before you go running for sex so both the guy and girl know there is a mutual interest between the two. The only way a girl knows you are a nice guy and not just a panty chaser or someone not interested in her.

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    • Really, so being HONEST is only for trash? Not seeking out vulnerable women to victimize only appeals to TRASH? You WANT someone who treats you like something he can BUY merely by "nice" behavior?

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    • l love all that you say you are so right lam always willing to wait for the girl l respect all girls

    • @BOUNTYGUY9 thank you :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yet another tired my take attempting to re-define what the word nice means. We have a long established definition of ‘nice’. What you’re describing does not fall under this definition.
    It’s about as dumb as describing Charles Manson as a family man, only to then feel you have to write a mytake to explain to the world what a family man is, based on this new, made up definition. That does disservice to actual family men everywhere.
    There are actually existing words that can be used to describe someone who presents themselves a certain way as a ruse to cover more sinister motives or have themselves lost touch with what nice means. The rest of us know what nice really means. Re-defining it is nonsensical.

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    • Let me guess, you're one of the whiny bitches who can't get a girl.

    • Wrong there buddy. I have no problems with that. Hey great of you to start flinging names like a child throwing a tantrum. Sounds like your exactly the type of person you discribe in your take. Well now we see your true character.

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What Girls Said 16

  • What I’ve seen regarding my husband before me... he was a known “player”, but ended up being used by flings and exes because he was secretly a nice guy avoiding relationships.

    They’d steal his stuff, borrow money and not pay it back, use him for everything. Now, I didn’t use him and told him to stand up for himself (i called him an enabler). The users didn’t want to be friends anymore.

    Women usually want a man who can either be a partner in their life OR they want to be taken care of. If you do nothing but be the nice guy 100% of the time, you’re being an enabler to others for bad behaviors and poor decisions. You’ll end up with only users being around full time.

    Also, sometimes being the nice guy gives the appearance you are going through the motions in dating, but may not be attracted to your SO. Most women want to feel wanted/needed. Being too much like a gentleman may make them feel rejected (especially if they are giving signals). Women aren’t wired for sexual rejection, culture feeds into this. Even women in a happy marriage can feel undesirable and start getting paranoid if their husband turns them down.

    You don’t have to have sex, being nice and courteous; however, tell your SO how desirable she is and WHY you are turning her down for physical activity.

    If you are just wanting sex and no relationship, be honest. Your veil of niceguy will fade with some, you’ll be known for being honest, but not chaste.

    (This is based on my experiences with “nice guys)

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    • l am going to be a bad guy after all l have read regarding this matter as of now l am called mr nasty bastard from scotland x

    • @BOUNTYGUY9 lmao. Mr nasty bastard...

    • no l could never be a bad guy to a girl as all girls are very nice in my mind a girl can do no wrong a girl has to be loved and cared for at all times along with full respect l love all girls l am mr nice guy from scotland edwin x

  • I agree with much of this, but the ideas about women going with bad boys is kind of trite. Most of us do prefer genuinely nice individuals, but nice is the bare minimum. If all you are is "nice" to get laid, you're not actually nice, and you pretty well explained that.

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  • 😂😂😂😂😂 I am sorry because you are serious about this and I am sorry because I see this too. Sometimes it is really hard to figure out why a guy is being nice and I just default suspicious. But I think guys who are attracted to me are nuts so lol, this one is not for me.

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    • Sorry for what? That there are men who try to trade being "nice" for pussy and then get their own panties in a bundle when it doesn't work?

    • You don't take criticism very do you. Too much time in the pen?

    • its all in the mind?

  • This has got to be one of the best myTakes I've read so far. Nothing in it that a disagree with.

    I especially liked this comparison:
    "You can't buy that any more than you can buy getting in better condition. You could pay for a gym and a trainer, but YOU still have to do the exercise. A relationship is not a reward, it's an activity."

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  • Nice is the absolute bare minimum of expected behaviour in another person.

    When you go on a good date, you gush about that person and all their admirable qualities.

    When you go on a bad date, you say “Well, they seemed... nice,” awkwardly and you never speak to them again.

    Being nice is never going to get you anywhere, because you’re not rewarded for doing the absolute bare minimum.

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  • Wow from a guy too you've got the nice guy thing down and understood! First guy i've ever seen annoyed about nice guys

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    • it's about the way you interpret it. lots of guys are genuinely nice, some just weren't tought it better and others are just completely insane but try to hide under a sheep costume.
      Take Owner meant the later

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    • @OpenWine I didn't go out with him I was friendly to him (not in that way lol just friends). I used to take him mum shopping sometimes I knew her as well as I knew him but it was ages since i had seen either of them and if I want to know how she is i would message her.

      This is the nice entitled guy syndrome. I have been out with another type of nice guy too. They would declare they were good their friends would declare they were good but they had a narcissistic mask. Right now I am still to meet an actual nice guy but I think that's my problem not a problem with the whole gender!

      Looks are nothing but when it comes from someone with such a lack of motivation they are rotting while still living that could also be classed as a personality issue.

    • well fine. I guess you can smell shit from miles away so may not be hard for you to find out. just get yourself noticed out there cause I got a feel that girls who have value and are actual good relationship material seem to hide their presence from people. like there's a cute coworker I had to work with last Friday I took a week to notice her and hit on an agressive, depressed coworker instead ewww

  • I’m impressed.
    I’ve always said that if you say you’re a nice guy, and that’s your only redeemable quality, prepare to be friendzoned.

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    • Lemme guess, you like the jerks.

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    • Fully clothed?

    • @villageidiot either way. If you don’t like your body, make some changes. The only thing holding you back from looking the way you want to is yourself😊

  • I don't think I usually agree with you but this is actually a good take.

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  • It's because most "nice" guys are boring

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    • I agree with this. The key for a guy to get girls is to be FUN!

      As the classic saying goes, "girls just wanna have fun" :)

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    • @FatherJack There are just so many attitudes these days. I know everyone says be yourself, but if it's going to be interpreted as phony then why even try?

    • @villageidiot I really feel sorry for you younger guys , in this toxic " all males are wannabe rapists " social climate. The rot started about 20 years ago , and faster downhill ever since. Is your username a Monty Python reference? Decent comedy died back in the 90's , with a few rare exceptions !!

  • Great take! I love this. Well said!

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  • Lmao this took a huge turn from what i was expecting 🙈😂

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  • Calling a girl a whore isn't nice so obviously he's a meany in nice guy clothing

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    • he is a bad guy no wonder he can't get a girl l love and respect girls at all times girls are fantastic l love girls x

    • @BOUNTYGUY9 lol maybe he gets girls but not the ones he wants

    • he can get no better only his type lol

  • because nice guys will date me because theyre nice not becuase they like me... thats how i see it. it's like you know they feel bad for you but there is no reason to feel bad. its kinda mean

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    • no thats not true its all in your head if a guy did not like you he would not waste his time dating you

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    • @villageidiot very true as to what you say

    • well that is the way your brain is acting you are still young you will grow out of thinking like the way you think about yourself you are a very nice human being and that is the main thing as far as l am concerned l can understand where you are coming from l had thoughts like you have when l was younger as well as a guy l know in my mind that girls are great /fantastic in my mind girls can do no wrong girls are to be loved at all times and respected at all times there is all types of love ?

  • wow I'm impressed

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  • Everyone is different

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  • Hey, thanks for mentioning this common problem to the rest of the male race. Thanks for your take on this!

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What Guys Said 53

  • The nice guy declaration is old, yeah. But in truth I feel like nice guys and girls who hate them but like badasses are actually made for each other. They're both dishonest and sleazy and are after that one thing. So the chicks who complain about them might as well be with them anyway.

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  • Nice guy does not have to = doormat, nor vice versa.

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  • Lol, i love the article. There's a massive difference between a genuine man and a nice guy. That's the big difference. If you have a great boyfriend who knows how to balance the asshole you love and the kind gentleman then he's rather genuine. Anyone can throw some words around to make you feel better and call you a princess with a smile on his face. It's hella easy to lie. I used to do that all the time and bitched about fucken everything and blamed any woman when shit went wrong for me. One day i was sick of the shit i went through and decided i would write down what i was doing and look at it extremely critical. It wasn't long before i realized how fucken pathetic i was and had a look of disgust on my face. I was god damn pathetic and after a few weeks of a pity party i came to and worked on everything i could about myself and ignored the plausible existence of woman that may inhabit the same solar system as myself. It turned out to be the best thing i could ever do for myself. I worked on perfecting every aspect i could about myself down to body language and everyday outlooks etc. The list goes on though one of the biggest things i did was work on being honest with everyone around me no matter what i did. I realised it was now 110% easier to be honet and genuine about things and have a better outlook as well as honest with myself. I mean, if you can't be honest with random everyday strangers then how can you be honest with yourself? I was lying to myself for years about myself and how great this and how great that and that nothing was my fault yada yada. It is simpler to work on your body image and way of life, charisma, enthusiasm, enjoyment, all other emotions and so on. If not for the sole factor that everything i lied to myself about prior is 100% true now and it's no longer a lie. I can tell myself all day i know how to ride a motorcycle easy peasy though if i don't how do i walk the talk? When you're honest with yourself you feel no need to say those random things and justify them to yourself or others. I'm not here to please a woman every waking hour, i love the company she gives me and the way we get along. I'm not here to be her servant, i'm here to protect and love her, to be there for her when she's at her worst and to never let her go. Anyone can talk game to try and get themself a woman though the men who are honest, hard working and always striving will act as a gravitational force and seem to find themself surrounded by woman.

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  • It isn't really a "take" to help guy's find happiness. I do agree with one thing however. It is up to these men who think they are being left behind to make the necessary changes in their lives.

    But your analysis is just way off. Some of these guys are with vulnerable women. But many more are not. They simply lack the confidence and the esteem necessary to ask women out.

    The way out of this trap isn't to be "bad". "Bad" does not buy sex. But "exciting" can. And I would use a different word. . ."interesting". These men have the ability to develop themselves, to learn to speak a different language, to visit another country, to learn how to skateboard, or fly an airplane.

    All of us have interests, they just need to develop theirs and become interesting people. But even more than that, they have to socialize with women. Many women. They can't deny themselves the opportunity to perfect their skills talking to women.

    But you and I know the biggest secret. That women like men who can attract women.

    And that is the key to the equation.

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  • Wait... so you're saying the reason I don't get laid is because I'm a Nice Guy who isn't really nice because I'm a whiny, entitled bitch-boy?

    Thanks! That's a load off my mind. All these years I thought it was the poor personal hygiene and sex offender status that kept the ladies at bay. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

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  • It's not that I disagree, but I think the message has already come across, and there's not really much novel thought here to warrant ressurecting the topic.

    One thing that never really sat right with me in this discussion is when it steers into "but if you actually improve yourself, trancend from "nice" to good, astonishing things will happen".

    I don't see it that way at all. It looks like a recipe for more denial.
    Remember the core problem is the charade and false self-image of being good.
    But what you need to realise then is "Wow, I'm actually quite egotistical. I don't honestly care as much about people as I thought I did".
    If you start to be true to self, stop hiding your flaws, you'll probably align with similar people, attract women who has the same shitty attitudes you have. It won't be the same women you tried your nice guy BS on obviously, but you won't be without a date.

    Then you can decide if being a self-absorbed ass, date other asses and have asses for friends is actually worth it (I don't think it is). You can choose to change that, but it has to be your own choice. Others shouldn't try to indoctrinate you into making it.

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  • Being nice is like going to a bar wearing a cutout of David Beckham on your face. A girl might see you from a distance and think "wow, he's cute." But then she finds out that not only are you not David Beckham you're a guy who pretends to be David Beckham to pick up girls. And then you say "I thought girls like David Beckham, what gives? What gives is that you aren't David Beckham and you're pretending to be somebody you're not.

    In this example, the guy continues to impersonate different celebrities thinking he hasn't found the right one, completely missing the big picture.

    I think a lot of nice guys grossly overvalue the trait. Most people are "nice" insofar as they aren't terrible. Not criticizing a woman's appearance isn't being nice, it's being "not mean." And if you aren't outright mean, most people would consider you nice.

    Imagine applying for a job at google and what makes you qualified is that you're nice.

    Nice really doesn't mean anything. It's like telling girls you aren't a sociopath. That's good that you aren't, although suspicious that you'd say that.

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  • What you're talking about are the fake nice guys. But there are a lot of genuine nice guys who still get rejected by women or treated like shit, while the women open their legs for the assholes and jerks. This is the main reason relationships and society is messed up, but most women won't admit any fault

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    • That a$$hole appeal is unbeatable. Just for lacking in poor manners and crude behavior we are labeled the undesirables

  • I know you are pointing out on not something I would call nice.

    I call myself a good and a bad person at once to escape this definition.

    I am a bad person because I am not able to be nice to people who are not nice to me. in fact the more someone does harm me the further I distance myself.
    I am not bad in the form of physically hurting people but I've been told I am not very sensible towards others and am considered sensible myself while in fact people don't know how much I can stand.

    I am a good person in the fact that I help other people not because it gives me any value but because seeing other people happy and grateful also makes me happy. being of any value to society is something that also increases my self worth. I find myself talking to all sorts of people and trying to put a good mood on them, I talk to really old women, disabled men, boss, coworkers, strangers, pretty women, ugly women but I don't talk to people who are about to jump on someone.

    also some girl mentioned being nice is bottom value and I completely disagree. I think even in a working environment it's really important to have good team moral and a feeling of being home to be an effective and happy worker.
    in fact I would rather have nice people around me willing to help out than some spoiled brats who know what they're doing but push team moral down.

    That's kinda my definition of being nice. somewhere in between my gibberish

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  • Your talking about fake nice guys dude. Im nothing like anything you described in your little rant. I've never once tried to buy pussy with niceness as you so put it. I dont prey on weak minded women. You should specify that not all nice guys are like that.

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  • I have had enough of this "nice guy"
    Bashing that is apparently still trending.

    Yes, some of these guys may have unrealistic expectations, but the majority really are just nice, and honest.

    It doesn't help.

    Women are attracted to strong men , not weak minded men, and thats it, if he is nice thats great, but even if he is bad its not gonna make him unattractive.

    On the other hand, being nice, on its own, won't help you at all if you are mentally and emotionally weak.

    So basically nice guys need to build more confidence.
    Thats the advice they need.

    Your whole " well ya aren't really nice, are ya, are ya?" talk isn't exactly helping..
    Looks like you just wanted to bash on someone

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  • I'm not nice. I'm a dick, not really attractive. I bang em and leave em.

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  • Loved it (not enough for your pussy, though, sorry mate). Waiting for an address for girls thinking along similar lines about guys, too, since that gets thrown around like a helium balloon without a knot. Have you got another one in you?

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  • Mean thread on guys you must have had many problems with them

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  • i prefer smothering them with niceness and them calling them whores when they go with the guys that dare to put their hands down her pants instead of me who never dares to do anything.

    xD at least that's litterally how i used to think. too bad this take came too late for me xD

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  • Woh woh woh hold on. Tired these mytakes incorrectly talking about nice guys. "Not really a nice really" then its not called being nice. Dont care if they say they are. can't pour syrup on bread thinking its a pancake.
    I am nice and do get girls but i can't seem to keep them cause they are after things im not into.
    I open doors, walk her home in the rain, let my intent be known, write poems, sing, play instruments to her, exchange flirty text, flirty, give good massages and all that. Im sweet, kind, and what not. But guys who are bad boys or just look sexy or cute to women gets the girl. Im not complaining. If she's after toxic future relationship then she's doing me a favor. Im not going cry.
    But the idea that real nice guys are over looked worries me.

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  • Thank you!
    fuck u, nice guy!
    I see another mytake you justifying yourself, telling people you're not so bad. Then I read it, see u begging for sex. Saying "ill care for u more girl then dem badboys".

    I swear im going to de-evolve you

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  • I would say from myself that I'm in some ways a nice guy, but not that kind of 'nice guy' you described there. I mean with nice guy, that I would be nice talking to, be loyal to my girl, treat her with respect and give her free time/privacy

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  • I don't understand the whole nice boy versus bad boy garbage. I figure be yourself and if the girl doesn't like you. Foooooget about it!!! ;) lol

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  • Wow, just what the internet needed, another post about nice guys.

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    • As long as these whiners are out here, we need more threads.

      They simply don't want to take responsibility for their own experience.

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