I guess i should stop ignoring this girl at work that keeps showing off that she's this and that and has mentioned that she has a boyfriend and what not. I also don't agree with this take for some parts. Becoming too available to a woman comes across as being desperate even if its not the intention. I do play hard to get only with women who were at first warm with and now acting cold and ignoring me.
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1 Reply
myTake Owner
+1 y
I wasn’t encouraging being ”too available” because I associate that with spamming someone, constantly asking them if they want to hang out and not giving them their personal space, as well as showing that you don’t have other things going on for you in your life. I never said that swinging from one extreme (hard to get) to another (being too available or clingy) is recommended. Just that open communication and honesty is.
If I am playing to get it's because I don't want to be caught and not interested in the person. I am not doing it for the heck of it, I am doing it because I want them to leave me alone and they are taking it as i am wanting them to chase me.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
In that case it would just be smarter to tell them upfront that you're not interested.
Playing hard to get may work for popular confident hott guys that all the girls want. However, most guys have been turned down all their lives and they are not looking for more rejection. It is difficult for them to ask a girl anyway so if a girl doesn't show that she is interested, he will not risk further rejection.
Completely true, It might have made sense back in baby boomer times when they were all very open about liking each other - so you could then get a bit of extra attention by being demanding, Now it just comes across as someone with issues or heavily insecure
be "hard to get" and I'll jump right to the next prey.
honestly playing hard to get is always been poorly done. hard to get doesn't mean all of it. hard to get includes a lot of flirting and showing interest, glances, compliments and in return being distanced for a while then coming back with the next storm of hints.
girls who try that keep staring, then ignoring you and act all bitchy when you ask them what's going on. like bitch u ain't serious
To each their own, I suppose. I don't play games and I certainly don't have time to chase after some self proclaimed princess. I prefer transparency in that regard.
I always thought playing hard to get is bull. I was super scared, hurt and disappointed to hear that it's a popular thing, because I thought how the f*** am I supposed to feel a woman is touched by my emotions, thoughts or actions? I'm not a dog, to just gawp and pant at her.
It's good to keep a little to yourself, but don't treat your partner as a fucking lab rat, because then you'll just be seen as... Something equally demeaning
It could just make them run further away from you, they could get tired of trying and just give up all together.. just let them love you for crying out lout💕
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Good take. However ‘hard to get’ to me doesn’t mean not trying to get to know someone, it means not giving up what he wants (sex) too early, before you’ve both figured out whether you like each other or not.
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myTake Owner
+1 y
In my opinion that’s not even playing hard to get, that’s common sense!
We get what we deserve. I don't like 'play' either. It is a sort of lie, because we deceive others, or at least distort reality. Then again, to detect a liar and de-select him/her is one process of dating.
I'd bet some people actually do play hard to get buuuut some people it may only look that way. I for example have been asked why I (as a guy) play hard to get.. I don't. I just assume no female is interested in me like that.
I second that. I'm clueless when it comes to flirting. I've been once or twice accused of leading someone on when I just had normal conversation with a girl.
Those kinds of games are for boys and girls in school, who are bored and have too much free time. We are adults and mean business. I (would) walk away from any and all such games.
The moment someone plays hard to get I just stop dating. No matter how attractive or fun you are, its a giant red flag from me.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I completely disagree. And based on my thorough experience with men, they like that. AND i can get any man that i want. CAN and HAVE and WILL using my method of playing hard to get.
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5 Reply
myTake Owner
+1 y
How many long term relationships have you had? Over 2 years long.
From the time I was 15-18 I had a boyfriend for 3 years, from 18 to 21 I had a boyfriend for 3 years, from 22 to 24 had a boyfriend for 2 years, from 24 to 27 had a boyfriend for 3 years. AND now I am 27 and in a new relationship for almost a year.
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I guess i should stop ignoring this girl at work that keeps showing off that she's this and that and has mentioned that she has a boyfriend and what not. I also don't agree with this take for some parts. Becoming too available to a woman comes across as being desperate even if its not the intention. I do play hard to get only with women who were at first warm with and now acting cold and ignoring me.
I wasn’t encouraging being ”too available” because I associate that with spamming someone, constantly asking them if they want to hang out and not giving them their personal space, as well as showing that you don’t have other things going on for you in your life. I never said that swinging from one extreme (hard to get) to another (being too available or clingy) is recommended. Just that open communication and honesty is.
Well written indeed.
If I am playing to get it's because I don't want to be caught and not interested in the person. I am not doing it for the heck of it, I am doing it because I want them to leave me alone and they are taking it as i am wanting them to chase me.
In that case it would just be smarter to tell them upfront that you're not interested.
Playing hard to get may work for popular confident hott guys that all the girls want. However, most guys have been turned down all their lives and they are not looking for more rejection. It is difficult for them to ask a girl anyway so if a girl doesn't show that she is interested, he will not risk further rejection.
Completely true,
It might have made sense back in baby boomer times when they were all very open about liking each other - so you could then get a bit of extra attention by being demanding,
Now it just comes across as someone with issues or heavily insecure
be "hard to get" and I'll jump right to the next prey.
honestly playing hard to get is always been poorly done.
hard to get doesn't mean all of it. hard to get includes a lot of flirting and showing interest, glances, compliments and in return being distanced for a while then coming back with the next storm of hints.
girls who try that keep staring, then ignoring you and act all bitchy when you ask them what's going on. like bitch u ain't serious
totally agree, i can't stand people who play games like that
To each their own, I suppose. I don't play games and I certainly don't have time to chase after some self proclaimed princess. I prefer transparency in that regard.
I always thought playing hard to get is bull. I was super scared, hurt and disappointed to hear that it's a popular thing, because I thought how the f*** am I supposed to feel a woman is touched by my emotions, thoughts or actions? I'm not a dog, to just gawp and pant at her.
It's good to keep a little to yourself, but don't treat your partner as a fucking lab rat, because then you'll just be seen as... Something equally demeaning
Absolutely true. Nice mytake.
Its best to be open and honest.
Games playing always leads to frustration, anger and eventually breaking up.
Of course it is, but most girls have this idea that they have to be desired or shown how much they are worth to a certain guy.
Whatever the purpose, it's stupid
It could just make them run further away from you, they could get tired of trying and just give up all together.. just let them love you for crying out lout💕
Good take. However ‘hard to get’ to me doesn’t mean not trying to get to know someone, it means not giving up what he wants (sex) too early, before you’ve both figured out whether you like each other or not.
In my opinion that’s not even playing hard to get, that’s common sense!
Mine too! But many people try to argue differently.
We get what we deserve. I don't like 'play' either. It is a sort of lie, because we deceive others, or at least distort reality. Then again, to detect a liar and de-select him/her is one process of dating.
I'd bet some people actually do play hard to get buuuut some people it may only look that way. I for example have been asked why I (as a guy) play hard to get.. I don't. I just assume no female is interested in me like that.
I second that. I'm clueless when it comes to flirting. I've been once or twice accused of leading someone on when I just had normal conversation with a girl.
@SixFeetOfMan This could be why some people may appear "hard to get" but i doubt its every case
Great article! This is so on point :)
Those kinds of games are for boys and girls in school, who are bored and have too much free time. We are adults and mean business.
I (would) walk away from any and all such games.
Excellent Take.
I can't be arsed with somebody who wants to play silly girl games like Hard to Get. Grow up.
I can see the value to keeping someone at arms length until you can decide if they actually like you or are just trying to get in your pants.
The moment someone plays hard to get I just stop dating. No matter how attractive or fun you are, its a giant red flag from me.
I completely disagree. And based on my thorough experience with men, they like that. AND i can get any man that i want. CAN and HAVE and WILL using my method of playing hard to get.
How many long term relationships have you had? Over 2 years long.
From the time I was 15-18 I had a boyfriend for 3 years, from 18 to 21 I had a boyfriend for 3 years, from 22 to 24 had a boyfriend for 2 years, from 24 to 27 had a boyfriend for 3 years. AND now I am 27 and in a new relationship for almost a year.
That’s a lot of boyfriends.
You couldn't get me with that attitude. I don't chase and I don't play games.
Lol i've dropped many girls, and im the asshole cause i don't play the game. Good luck with that