Ridiculous Things Everyone Assumes If You're Single

[anon1903]

ridiculous things people assume if you're single:

no intro needed, we all have been there and heard that.

you're unattractive:

where did that come from? if he can't accept a little belly fat, then adios! i am better off solo. unless you really are amy farrah fowler by appearance, don't bother.

you're unpleasant:

i strongly believe that. yup, a bit stupid even though i am hardly wrong, people actually open up to me about that. some might say i am horrible too. not always the case but i would suggest improvising to fit in the social standards more or so.

you're unapproachable:

haha, not false. but hey, don't beat yourself for that! if that really sounds like you, you can always change! or not. your choice.

you're prude:

if sex is the ultimate goal of a relationship according to you, may i suggest the option of fuck buddies, or normal hookup culture?

you're heartbroken:

your crush doesn't like you back. it may be true for majority, let's assume, but some people just don't get crushes. yup, we exist. aromanticism isn't a fictional concept, its real!

you've strict parents:

true for me, although they can be very frank by nature. parents do influence your dating life, in direct approach they make "arrange marriage" happen. well, in this case i can call my mom "the cool mom" cause she herself doesn't believe in true love and shit. you either make it work or get out without pregnancy on the way. no in between option.

you're hard on yourself:

i am sorry if the idea of hanging out with friends and chilling with netflix doesn't sound appealing to your ears, accommodated to hearing how many people got engaged this year. in my view, friends on a serious note, disappear slowly once you get paired up for your "happy ending".

you're desperate:

nobody wants get lonely. while being "over sincere" might one of the reasons nice ones finish last, it doesn't mean they'd have literally anyone they can get hands on. so please dunno bother setting up blind dates.

you'd be alone forever:

oh no no no.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Very true!

I am a prude for what it's worth, and I guess I can be unapproachable since I'm quiet and tend to keep to myself, and I'm also hard on myself. But, I'm not unattractive, unpleasant, heartbroken, don't have strict parents, and I'm definitely by no means desperate. If anything, desperation is jumping into a relationship with the first person available without thinking it through, just so you don't have to be alone. As far as being alone forever, I really don't care if I am. I'm happy alone and there is much more to life than dating.

I've never understood how people assume you must be undesirable if you're single. Being in a relationship is absolutely not a guarantee that you're desirable at all, since there are plenty of people who settle in relationships. I've had guys interested in me, but I just haven't felt up to dating since I left my last relationship over 4 years ago.

Another thing I don't understand is how people expect single people to be unhappy. Single =/= unhappy at all. In fact, depending on a relationship to make you happy is very unhealthy. It should contribute to your happiness, but never be the sole provider. You should be able to be happy whether you're in a relationship or not.

I think it's so important to be strong enough to wait for what you deserve, as well. There are too many people who try to force relationships that are doomed from the start, and people settling for what they're not happy with, but believe is the best they can do. It's totally not worth it. I'd much rather be single any day than stuck in a miserable relationship.

[Cynicaldreamer]

YES! I knew I was going to like this mytake: thank you!!!

As someone that's been single a long time, I can attest that I have heard nearly every assumption you listed and then some! My favorite is "You're too picky!" or, "Why not just get a fbuddy?"

No I have standards and I'm not going to be with someone out of desperation or just for the sake of being in a relationship.
That's why you have so many miserable people out there criticizing those of us that are single and happy- they settled for the first person that gave them a little attention, but now they're trapped in an unhappy marriage or relationship!

I know I'm not that attractive; I can admit that. And yeah, I AM blunt and I will tell someone off if they're acting like an idiot or out of line. But if someone can't handle me and who I really am, I guess I'll be single the rest of my life.

[dornuthedude]

Tbh, it sounds like you are too picky. Like to the point where you're standards are unrealistic. Like I respect you as a gag user but even I have to admit that I get this feeling where you hold yourself to a standard that is just too much to expect. Sure, you deserve the best but there a different between the best and a good relationship. The issue I find with people who choose to be single is that they never want to compromise their standards and give people a chance. Though I can't help but respect that you know that you are the one that is messing with your chances with having a relationship. Most people with this mindset are too narcissistic and blame being single on everyone but themselves.

[dornuthedude]

Personally I disagree with you're standards and have high doubts that you'll find someone who meet them but you do you. Your life, your choices

[PetrovaFire92]

@dornuthedude I agree with you.. an my male friend sounds just like her, an he single at 29.. but he talks about women/girls in a shallow way... An he gets angry when he only attracts 20 year olds and that people his own age. 🤷.

[Dchrls78104]

@Cynicaldreamer I agree with you fully because I'm single for the exact same reason.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@PetrovaFire92
@dornuthedude
Actually I've listed my standards for men on here several times (anytime someone posts a question asking what I'm looking for in a relationship) and even the men on here will tell you that my standards are reasonable!
I've met women that have WAY higher standards than I do that are able to get men without trying so... yeah.
It shouldn't be a lot to ask to find a guy that's loyal, has his life in order, takes care of his body, respects me and my goals in life, is a geek and/or gamer (that's not a requirement but it certainly helps), doesn't want kids, and wants a relationship, NOT just sex/hookups.

Please tell me how those things I listed makes me have, "high standards." Because I assure you that's pretty much what I'm looking for in a nutshell.

Moral of the story: don't make assumptions without getting to know me y'all.

[RickPen]

I've been asked by my parents if I was gay, or on drugs, despite repeatedly telling them that I had zero interest in the girls in the area.

Other assumptions were that I was lazy, on drugs, asexual, depressed, or overly discriminating. Mostly it was being depressed and discriminating. I didn't want to waste my time on flings, and had to ask myself if I could tolerate the person for life, even taking things a day at a time. If not playing the long game, then short games made no sense.

To compound the problem, I had my parents in stereo telling me to go out, find a girl, and "have fun," while immediately saying not to have sex, and that I would feel dirty, but secretly telling me that I really needed to. My resolve was to become their biggest disappointment so they'd stop asking.

[just_legit1998]

Exactly! You can repost this myTake AGAIN! People that I know judge me for being a single guy, they call me creep. I'm actually taking time off dating ever since my previous breakup maybe 2 years ago and I feel happy being single again. There's also one thing I learned that self-worth and dignity is a must before loving a woman and I'm thankful for the lessons it taught me as I wouldn't be the man I am right now. Often men get insecure about this and I think that we men must not be. A relationship is not mandatory in our lives and honestly, IT'S BETTER TO MARRY LATE THAN END UP WITH A WRONG INDIVIDUAL!

[anon1903]

"a bad marriage is worse than no marriage at all" says even the positive psychology.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

So true! You said it perfectly.

[Account]

They also assume that I don't want to be, even though I prefer it.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yes and it is real annoying when they think they have to try to hook you up with someone who isn't your type, just because they think you're supposed to be dating... LOL

[N192K001]

Yeah, it does gets annoying as Hell! I really do dislike those sentiments so many just automatically assume.

Then, there's colleagues throwing me at female coworkers (and/or vice versa), an antic that's lost me 2jobs (luckily by my own resignation, rather than termination). Also, people a number of times assume a supposed desperation in me due to my singleness and read the said desperation into my interactions with others, sometimes causing a lingering, rumor-spread sentiment that has made even simple, platonic exchanges so spectacularly painful & awkward for all sides and essentially forced me to quarantine myself away from others (even pre-emptively to save everyone the hassle) in numerous situations.

I do not need 'fixing' (at lest, not in that way). I will find my own mate whenever I accomplish my goals in life; consider myself worthy & eligible for the post of husband, father, ancestor to our joint-clan's next generation, founder of a new family in our clan, and ambassador of my side's clan to her's; and finally find a candidate with the characteristics indicative of a successful, sustainable future together. Until then, search for a consort is outside my mind. I do not need the endeavor suddenly remembered and shoved into my face whenever I encounter people.

[Thomas_Friend]

Definitely happens. My friends apparently told people I was asexual (potentially being gay also came up). All I did was be polite and respectful of the women in my school. I wouldn't rate women or insult them (rather, I'd have conversations about interests and hobbies in class - conversations I both enjoyed and also passed the time), so people presumed I wasn't interested in any of it.

Now, I'm still single, have no women to talk to, can't start talking to any because I'm not friends with any so it would be an obvious attempt at starting up a conversation. The only thing that keeps coming up in my mind is that, when I was younger, maybe I should have just been one of those flirty boys or whatever. Though I tried that too, and then everyone thought it was a joke and a complete work of fiction. I just don't understand why everyone seems to want me to be gay or asexual, as if that makes everything about me easier for them to understand, when that's not what I want. Or they mistake my liking to be kind to others for weakness, where I choose to be kind because I supposedly don't have the strength to be mean. Being mean just isn't me.

[Mezius]

In a similar situation.

[Mezius]

I'm 27. I grew up without parents, and I was sexually confused as a teenager. I screwed up my life, and I'm living with family right now. I've pretty much given up on ever being in a happy relationship at this point. Some people just don't belong in a relationship.

[bobalife]

I like this! Because being single doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or you’re unhappy. You’re just doing you booboo🙆🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

At the end of the day, those who are single and appreciating it, we wouldn’t wanna settle for less and would rather be with someone worth investing our time and emotions.

[Dchrls78104]

My case exactly.

[btbc92]

That list is so accurate. Been single all my life. I had strict parents yes, but at least my late mother taught me better. I avoided heartache. Being single is not a bad thing, or a curse. And your romance life is no one's business.

[Dinklex3]

Nice take.
Its interesting how many people actually assume you're unhappy just because you're single. They'll assume holidays and Valentine's are torture for you and seem to not understand that someone can be happy even without a significant other.

[Petra150]

Guess that the horrible fact more and more people chose to be single, will affect mandkind for very long times, and for sure it will create s bigger split between those of us who bring children and provide families to the society, and them who are so picky and obviously aren't willing to bring sacrifice to make a relationship become a succes. In the other hand we seems to forget the counterpart, who hate being alone and would gladly date and live with those picky women who chose to reject every guy, and obviously seek out a list longer than the Amazon River , so they can make sure to keep on reject very descend guy who would be a super partner. At the same time those of your picky and uncompromising women tend to forget , that most people need to bring some of them self into s relationship, and a super relationship is something byou have to build up, it's not at all somthing you can choose from a store ready to live with. So my advice for mainly all my fellow picky sisters is to , let go of them self and be more billing to accept nothing is perfect from start to end, they need to bring sacrifices them self too , rather than build up excuses for being single for life

[aWes0MeNeSs]

So true, I've noticed this as well! Not the case for me at all, as I'm much happier single than I ever was in a relationship!

[Petra150]

@aWes0MeNeSs i think for sure we women just found a way more to torment and stignatize men, men who's only fault must be there responsibility towards mandkind to try to reproduce our entire civilization so there still will be a human civilization in 1000 year, and no only creatures born with artificial fertilization and test tube births. I don't think you can be fooled to think a poor child can't se the difference , having a mother and father , rather than two a pair of parents the same gender. Or even worse a child with s single parents typical a mother, who I'd guess lack the ability to live by the compromise a marriage need, and rather want to live by her own getting her will all the time, and properly will bring those bad treads on to her child, it could very well be the end of a splendid civilization wher everyone need to live with each other for good and for bad , and swallow there ovn pride to get on. And it will for sure create a society of selfish and egoistic creatures unable to react with each other. A cold world with no love and compassion, with creatures ( I wouldn't call them human beings) who only will think of them self

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@Petra150 I don't believe I'm tormenting anyone, and I really don't want children.

[coolhandroo]

The only opinion about singles that I have found pervasive and false is that we wish we weren't. I guess also that we don't have sex. I love being single and have sex all the time. I don't want a relationship when i think about any I've had or any of the ones I see people in. I see relationships as totally in opposition to happiness because if you both love each other so much won't you spend all your time together and be faithful and loyal and honest to each other without the title or label or rulebook that confuses and grinds away at a person? If the reason people dont cheat or lie and make efforts to see someone they love happy and Appriciatte their company is brecause of their tiltle of boyfriend girlfriend wife etc then what a pathetic lot we are indeed

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Yes, several of my peers act as if deep down inside I'm really craving a relationship and wish I wasn't single, regardless of the fact that I've told them several times that I don't have any desire to get a boyfriend. They still try to convince me to go on dates and say things like "we need to find you a man". I just don't want to!

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

While I am one or two of these things, the one I get the most is women thinking I'm some player or that I'm too picky. It doesn't help that preselection bias is a huge factor in women's attraction to men as is social status and the ability to move up financially, all in all, stability. At the end of the day the current state of western society is pretty heavily weighted against men especially single men and loners.

I can't speak to the issues women think they have in dating, because I'm not one, but these are the issues I see most in men.

[art84]

I have strict parents who raised me Christian and it kinda played a huge factor in me being single. They would be like you should date so and so and have fun getting to know girls and enjoy it while your young. I just never been interested in dating and tried actually attempting to date a girl and it didn't go according to how I had planned it out. I guess that also played a role in my crush didn't like me back so I never got over it in my 20's. I think there's nothing wrong with being single. Some people are perfectly happy single and don't need to be in a relationship to find happiness. Sometimes getting in a relationship happens later in life. Everyone is different.

[Sharknado88]

Being single my whole life it's probably been assumed that I've had many of these qualities. However I once fell pretty hard for an aromantic girl (didn't know beforehand) and all I can say is some honesty early on would have saved me a lot of heart ache. My point is sometimes someone just gets nothing but bad luck with dating to the point they have a hard time seeing any reason to try anymore, and these assumptions may arise to anyone that tries to pursue them

[Anonymous]

Being single for so long, I've experienced the opposite of most of these to be honest. Only the two last ones I agree on, and honestly I start believing them myself. It's like I've been single and having fun for too long and now no one wants me anymore to settle down with. Of course after so many years of being single and doing my thing, a lot of sexual partners have past. I thought the past was the past but now I start noticing that a lot of men see me as the town slut. So yes, I am pretty desperate and I am preparing for being forever alone. Although I don't see it as the worst thing.

[Anonymous]

I feel like people over analyze singledom. Especially as someone starts getting up there in age. Most people just haven't found someone, or the "right" someone so to speak. It's that simple.

The world is basically collapsing right now. Let's stop worrying about trivial things people. If we get anything out of the covid 19 pandemic, I hope it at least makes the world a better place in some small way...

But we shall see lol...

[kangy]

it means we don't just settle even if it means age is coming up.
People who settle then to regret
as long as we ensure we are independent financially, mentally then when the right one come we can embrace him/her

[Kaneki05]

There's nothing wrong with me oh but there is plenty wrong with me.

i am crazy but i am not that crazy to the point of crazy. If that makes any sense. And i can defo say i am untractive so there correct there. And my heart is always broken but that's okay.
so some of this things the assume is true.

[Anonymous]

I honestly wonder what would happen to those people that are in a relationship if it were to suddenly become a trend to be single. I bet you anything everyone would breakup and they’d start picking on those that are in a relationship! People are like robots and will follow what’s considered to be “normal” at the time. It’s stupid !

[canadiancoloursky]

Some women think I'm gay, but well I've got a complicated life and im attracted to smart women, artistic women... im older and am more mature. Dont have a family to bring you to meet and enjoy being free from women troubles currently

[JackNoir]

nice

[Angel_33]

Be single not bad thing, you can enjoy. And let go to you when be right time. Not any marathon in life. Just find harmony in yourself and your life is be calm. Not any reasson talk at others when others are think they thinks are this best not change this. Just wait and happy in your inner. With old come true mature, with knowledge know think as think some others.

[_gigi18]

Being in a romantic relationship can make you happy but it isn't the ultimate thing that makes you happy. Having love is an amazing thing but it doesn't need to be romantic.

[Saville_Row]

They also assume that you don't know how to love or that you have lots of time in your hands lol.

[Jamie05rhs]

No offense, so please don't take this the wrong way, but if you're an aromantic woman, what guy would want to be with you anyway?

[anon1903]

I think you misunderstood. There are some aromantic people out there who get into relationships just to get others off their back. My aim is to tell them to refrain from doing so, it's pathetic.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ohhh. I got you now. Sorry; I didn't understand what you meant.