We all have dealbreakers when seeking a serious long term commitment so here are a list of mine. Please do share an extensive list if your own.

[Anonymous]

List of dealbreakers in a #relationship according to me

• Has anger issues or is verbally/physically/emotionally abusive
• Previous infidelity
• Is frivolous
• 
  Divorcee/has children (especially out of wedlock)
• 
  Seems untrustworthy
• 
  Follows lots of females on social media
  Is obsessed with social media
• 
  Speaks about women a lot
• 
  Has a high body count (preference is virgin)
• 
  Has had flings, one night stands of FWB’s
  Has had more than two girlfriends
  Goes clubbing (or used to)
• 
  Is an Andrew Tate fanboy
• 
  Is a smoker/drinker (need a teetotaller)
• 
  Goes to shisha lounges (or has past of frequenting lounges)
• 
  Entertains pretty much anyone (my type is the type who isn’t for everyone)
• 
  Has a physical type that is opposite to me (for instance if his type is blondes since I am a brunette)
  
  Bisexual men
• 
  Poor hygiene or doesn’t smell good
  A man who is too modern and not old fashioned (need a traditional man)
• 
  Doesn’t go above and beyond to impress and pursue
• 
  Doesn’t express emotions well
• 
  Doesn’t understand emotions
• 
  Looks at other women apart from me
  Is lazy
• 
  Is unappreciative and disrespectful
• 
  Lack of physical chemistry
• 
  Financial irresponsibility
• 
  Big clashes over personal principles
• 
  Born after 31 Dec 1992 (needs to be older than me - no upper age limit)
• 
  Lacks integrity
• 
  Lacks courage of conviction
• 
  Must be taller than me but not taller than 6’2
• 
  Is not sensitive, intuitive, caring,
• understanding and a good listener - all very important qualities
• 
  Lacks a sense of humour
• 
  Doesn’t shut down any other girl who tries to flirt with him with immediate effect
  Is not chivalrous
• 
  Doesn’t appreciate and respect all I do for him
• 
  Can’t handle my sarcasm and mood swings
• 
  Doesn’t know how to give compliments properly and forgets to give them regularly
  Is insecure
• 
  If he can see past me he is not the one, she should not be able to see past me. When he walks into a crowded room full of people his eyes should only search for me. 🤍

Feel free to comment on my #dealbreakers and share your own

[kmg9150]

If he likes blondes and got with a brunette would mean there's something about you thats causing him so go against what is his normal routine, comfort zone, etc. Thats kind of huge compliment if he would do that. Even so most guys preferences aren't Deal Breakers.


a lot of your requirements are quite frivolous. Do put this checklist on your dating profiles or send it over if guy asks for contact info? Has had more than 2 girlfriends or is a player? Well if he's a player Im sure he has more than two girlfriends...


How many boyfriends have you had?

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree with your first paragraph, @kmg9150.

[myTake Owner]

I don’t go on dating profiles because I am old fashioned and not a frivolous person. If a man will try to woo me and pursue me relentlessly then I will marry him otherwise I will have an arranged marriage with a man who meets all my requirements because I am a very jealous person and can’t deal with a person’s past. Need a guy who isn’t for everyone.

[myTake Owner]

If a guy asks for my contact info I shut them down immediately and walk off. I am quite hard to get through to. I assume if he is asking me then he is asking everyone else too so umm I guess arranged will be the only option for me. 😂

[midnightmoon05]

Good luck with your search. Curious your age.

[scooogy]

Would it be a dealbreaker if I just adopted your list? 👀

[myTake Owner]

Haha go ahead and take as many pointers as needed

[Guy13]

Boy thank you for the consise organized Take. I live your list..

[uncleBobbyb77]

While for the most part I agree with your list it does seem a bit like you have a misunderstanding of what the gifts of the heart are that together comprise the process of unconditional love. There are 5 gifts of the heart i believe I have identified. We have been programmed since birth to think of a few of these as something that must be earned but this is incorrect. A gift is only a gift if it is free. Free of charge and free of condition. Note that the gift-wrap can be changed depending on what the situation and circumstances call for without changing the gift itself. Similarly the roles people will play in your life, and the manner in which you give the gifts are the domain of the mind. These are things that should be given much thought for however the gifts themselves are all heart in their making. No thought can go into the forging of these if they are to culminate in unconditional love. If you change or add one ingredient it is no longer the same recipe change or add one step and its a different dance.
1:Acceptance-accept people for who they are as they are here and now. Noone can be who you think they are just as you cannot be whom someone else thinks you are. You will be you no matter who they think you are and they will be themselves. Your thoughts of them don't manifest into them.
2:appreciation:appreciate who they are and the role they play in the world. For every bad there is an equal good. This is a realm of balance. Every action has an equal opposite reaction. What goes up must come down. There is an infinite number of possibilities but we are here and we're made under a divine intent with purpose. The name of the Earth is indicative of that purpose. Often when hiding truth in written form the first letter is moved to the end of the word instead so if you put the last letter in Earth back into the beginning you have Heart. Not necessarily proof but evidence for me of our divine purpose being unconditional love. Kids are born into this world doing this naturally. We program and teach them this is wrong and stifle it confuse them by teaching them to believe they know what love is when love is of the heart it is felt and made and shown not thought.
3:Respect-respect people because they are people too. They have feelings and are also divine creations. Respect their power and ability. Be courteous
4:Trust-trust everyone but don't trust them to be who you think they are nor to do what you think they should. This is folly and foolish. Trust them to be who they are and to do what they do. Don't trust that they will change because you are you. It does happen if they are open and ready with desire and the will to do so but trust that's nor the case.
If you can give someone those 4 things you are loving them already. Gift 5 is unnecessary if you have the first four for others so this is for yourself. 5:forgiveness- forgive yourself your imperfections and mistakes. Learn from them get to know how strong you are give the other four gifts to yourself as well and you will know love unconditional. This doesn't mean you should be in a toxic relationship to have pure love. Like the giftwrap the roles someone plays in your life can change without changing your love for them. Only your expression of it needs to change befitting the role they fill.

[DizzyDesii]

Dealbreakers— Bisexual/gay/trans or anything but a straight, male born male... Being more than 4/5 years older/younger... shorter than 5’6 or taller than 6’4... long hair that he isn't gonna cut anytime soon... big beard or excessive chest/body hair... Overly sarcastic, disrespectful towards me, often pessimisitc, careless, wreckless, too quiet, often cocky... Smokes ANYTHING/does drugs or drinks often... Has too many piercings or tats... Dresses feminine... doesn't want kids... Body count 10+ (Honestly over 5 lmao)... Wants kids... doesn't speak English fluently... loves anal/rimming... Huge gamer... obsessed with Politics or guns... doesn't believe in God... Has indoor pets.. Is a stripper/gigolo/pornstar (even if formerly)... doesn't want to settle in a location and constantly travels the world... Too social media focused... Has no sense of humor... has anger issues... has more than one kid... Has one night stands... is in debt... doesn't ever want to get a job... has too many female friends (specially exes)... is fresh out of jail... has ever been in a nuthouse/mental institution

[DarkWinterNights]

You have two contradictory statements about kids. I’m knocked out regardless though lol.

[DizzyDesii]

@DarkWinterNights what about kids?

[DizzyDesii]

Im saying if he has kids prior to meeting me it should only be one. But if we have kids together, i’d prefer it be while we’re still in our 20s

[DarkWinterNights]

Gotcha. I’ve grown a little indifferent with kids. I don’t not want kids, but I also don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for them.

[wowop99266]

Damn at least give a 5'5 guy a chance.

[DizzyDesii]

@wowop99266 5’7+

[DizzyDesii]

Well i admit there were some 5’5 guys back when i was in high school who were exceptions

[Jennyjenjen_420]

In my opinion you have unrealistic expectations. It’s good to create boundaries but I’m afraid with most of the stuff on your list you won’t find a guy like that or it would be like one in a million chances. Hey maybe you’ll be that lucky but no one is that perfect. You’ve created an image in your head that is just too unrealistic. At some part, if I were to be male, is a bit more judgmental than it is a preference because those are deal breakers for you as in you wouldn’t ever date them just because he has children or because he has been to clubs in the past or even because he isn’t a virgin. What guy these days around your age are still virgins? I can see your point on the low sexual body count but not the virgin part. You are only sabotaging your own dating life by these unrealistic expectations. Of course this is only my opinion from experience and not at all fact based.


My deal breakers are:
Signs of narcissistic behaviors such as compulsive lying, cheating, extreme selfishness, insulting me when they don’t agree or get their way, etc. everything is extreme with a narcissist.


Aside from narcissism:
liars
Cheaters
Inconsistent communication (at LEAST talk to me twice a week)
Emotionally unavailable
Inattentive
Uncaring
Unkind to me and others
Doesn’t want children (I have a child)
Doesn’t want more children
Won’t accept my child (not looking for a step father but that would be a bonus)
Too jealous (small amounts of jealousy is healthy but not too much)
Too controlling
And mentally, physically, or verbally abusive (I’ve been in an abusive relationship and not willing to do it again)


Do you see the differences between our lists?

[Jennyjenjen_420]

One important one I forgot to add,
They don’t share the same goals in life as I do.

[Anonymous]

Here are mine:

- Doesn't love / want kids

- Prioritizes her career ambitions above family / relationship

- Entitled attitude

- Personality issues

- Unfeminine in her behaviors / character

- Doesn't shave where she should

- Woke / liberal political views

- Has bad attitudes toward men and relationships (aka a feminist)

- Sexually inhibited and/or selfish

- Easily offended / lacks a sense of humor

- Doesn't enjoy the outdoors

- Doesn't like dogs

- Doesn't / can't cook

[Opinion Owner]

- Has unrealistically high standards for a partner

- Holds men to a higher standard than she holds herself

- Has mood swings and just expects her man to deal with them instead of holding herself accountable for her own behavior

[myTake Owner]

Nice list. I agree with pretty much everything.

[Opinion Owner]

And yet you yourself don't meet some of them. Lol

[myTake Owner]

I doubt you meet most of mine but people can still agree. Like umm I don’t like dogs and maybe according to you my standards are unrealistically high. I don't know why I put the mood swings thing on mine because I don’t actually ever really get mood swings like that even on my period… I’m quite calm and composed even when people are trying to piss me off but oh well I guess we can’t always get 100% what we want so we have to stick to 60-70% and things we absolutely cannot compromise on.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol, of course you are. You've spent way too much time on GAG for a long time now trying to convince others how hot you are and how men prefer tall women over shorter ones. Maybe in east Asia they do, but not anywhere that matters. Sorry to expose your false arrogance to everyone but no one has every bought it anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh yeah, go ahead and block me now.

[AsaKyo]

Mine:
- Does drugs
- Has a history of being a whore
- Being morbidly obese (I'm talking like my 600 lb life big. Like you literally cannot get out of a chair.)
- Hates traveling
- Hates the outdoors in general
- Has cheated in the past
- Has a lack of respecting boundaries
- Doesn't like cats (nah jk)
- Makes me feel like shit about my appearance
- Doesn't communicate with me about issues
- Engages in risky, dare devil behavior

And that's all I can think of at the moment

[Still-alive]

"Engages in risky, dare devil behavior "

I ate a greasy cheeseburger earlier, probably high in cholesterol. very risky move i know smh.

[AsaKyo]

@Still-alive You know that's not what I mean by that lmao

[Ladybugharp]

I think you should be kinder to yourself and start doing a little soul searching before diving deep into a relationship - the jealousy you mentioned you had, stems from insecurity/low-self esteem.

Your list is very long; some requirements are sensible, but others are fetched and show a dis-trusting and defensive nature/behaviour.

The impact of this; you’ll carry this behaviour over to your arranged marriage and completely do yourself a disservice by creating a miserable toxic relationship - where you’ll never be happy nor have a balanced, happy relationship because you’re unwilling to adopt a mature, attitude and compromise.

Most men (i assume) will find this unattractive and resent you; worse off, you’ll be unhappy - which im sure you don't deserve!

[BlueScorpio]

For me it would be:

1. Doesn't take relationships seriously, hot and cold, can't or won't commit.

2. Very mean or always sarcastically rude

3. Doesn't show affection, acts embarressed to be seen with you in public

4. Has a history of cheating

5. Doesn't respect my faith in God/Jesus

6. Aways stinky

7. Flakey

8. Disrespectful to family

9. Not easy to talk to

10. not financially dependable during hard times or just reckless with money

[likelyOK]

Being a heavy drinker was always a deal breaker for me and I do not drink at all. I think my current partner played down his drinking in the beginning, I told him it was a dealbreaker for me from the start. He also played down how political he is and far to the right 😒

[Anonymous]

For me it's:

• poor hygiene

• being indifferent towards be in front of other people

• having wildly different social-political opinions from me

• treating children, animals, elders and non-abusive family members poorly

• controlling

• demands me to change my personality, taste or appearance for him

• stingy with money and lazy

• very religious (I'm agnostic)

• not open to having fun and doing weird stuff with me

• too many past relationships in a short period of time (thus struggles with commitment)

there's probably more I can't recall...

[TacosRAwesome]

- drinks alone or drinks too much.

- has an incompatible sleep schedule to mine.

- hates my cooking -- like what's his point

- lacks a go getter attitude.

- does drugs

- slept with way more people than me and needs to bring it up whenever he can

- confuses being verhally abusive with being honest

- is shorter than me

- hates walking

[wowop99266]

So drinking too much, doing drugs and being verbally abusive is morally synonymous with being shorter than you.

[TacosRAwesome]

@wowop99266 it's a strong preference. The others are absolutes I won't deal with.

[anon1903]

1) manipulative 2) cisshet (he doesn't have to be Transgender or anything but transphobia is disgusting) 3) antifeminist/sexist 4) pedophile 5) incel 6) incest 7) alcoholic/addict 8) too extroverted 9) gold digger 10) hates my brother 11) creepy 12) perverted 13) older than me more than 2-3 years 14) "my ex was crazy" story 15) pronatalist 16) conservative

[Babygirl_S]

I am going to be very honest.
1. Shorter than 6 feet
2. Had casual sex or more than 3 sexual partners
3. Smoker or drug abuser
4. Too muscular
5. Too aggressive
6. Misogynist
7. Racist

[U4ea0]

Oh God, it's just so horrible that he is a racist! Not that! Pity. I guess I'm disqualified...

[U4ea0]

@babygirl_s Pity, I could have met all your requirements except number 7.

[likelyOK]

Sounds pretty reasonable 👍🏽

[Anonymous]

Modern women have the reputation of being very entitled and self-important and having unrealistic expectations. Not all of them are that way, but you clearly are.

Unless you are one hell of a catch yourself (very doubtful), you will end up either lowering your standards or being a cat lady.

[myTake Owner]

I am tall, slim and exceptionally beautiful and I speak six languages so I don’t need you to tell me whether I am a catch or not. I know what I am and as a girl who offers all on that list and more I won’t settle for a club going manwhore with an extremely high body count who thinks sleeping around makes him the shit.

[Opinion Owner]

"I am tall, slim and exceptionally beautiful and I speak six languages"

Of course you are. LMAO. I've seen enough of your posts here to know that's not true.

But hey, if you can expect perfection from a man and get it, more power to you. But you'd better keep those cats... I have no doubt you're going to need them.

[pizzalovershouse]

Mines short no scratching back during loving no STDs no pegging me no chains whips not willing to meet me in the middle an dont give me corny names for body parts or lover names shouldn't be lame like my boo boo

[TallAnon]

I've never made a list, as long as she has some common sense, looks good enough, is fun to be with and is someone I generally would be proud to show to my family, the details are just details. Vibes are important.

[MikeInHawaii]

Let’s see, a virgin at least 30 years old, a teatotaler, what fraction of 1% of men are we down to with just those requirements?

Tell me how tall you are and I can see what percentage of men are between your minimum and 6’ 2”.

[myTake Owner]

I’m 5’7 and most men in my community are non drinkers anyway… it’s just the entirety of the list that is difficult to manage. I don’t want him to be exactly 6’2 - my preference is 5’10-6’ but as long as he is taller than me idm.

[wowop99266]

I can't be with a partner that expects to be monogamous with me. I don't believe in monogamy, so I'm not going to commit to one person. She has to know she's going to have to share me.

[TroyDT]

Hookups: I don't, so her wanting to is a deal breaker.

Dating or relationships: poor hygiene, rude to servers, racist, obese, lazy

[Anonymous]

Smokes or does drugs.
Has pets.
Has had plastic surgery.
Doesn't want kids.
Isn't a virgin.