Guy pressuring me to move faster. Am I wrong?

And no, this is not about sex.

I met a guy only 3 weeks ago, and told him right away I wanted to get to know him as friends first. I admitted my attraction, but was adamant that I just wanted to start slow in a friend-like manner to get to know each other. I told him I never wanted to lead him on, make promises I couldn't keep, or hurt his feelings. He agreed that he could handle this.

This guy has a player history , and I have a history with players. Among other things that make me want to take it slow and just make friends for now.

It's been only 3 weeks, and now he's trying to play mind games. Saying how he wants a relationship and if I can't he's gotta stop this, then turning around and changing his mind because he was only looking for my reaction. He's also started accusing me of being a player, or lying about my history with my ex, so that I can get away with playing him.

I'm not sure what's going on here. I was completely honest about my wanting to be slow and cautious, and he was good with that until now. And it's only been 3 weeks!

Am I in the wrong? Should I have just blown him off completely instead of being friends while I figured this out?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The way this guy suddenly started behaving seem insecure and immature. If I were you, I'd reconsider having any kind of relationship with him, because as you said, you told him all that and he said he was fine with it and only a short while later he has changed his mind already. I don't think he'd make a good boyfriend for you, if you want to take things slow and steady.

    • Those were kinda my thoughts as well. I was also thinking I'm glad I took it slow to see this side of him before it got complicated. That was the whole idea behind my doing this anyway. I just didn't know if maybe I caused this sort of behavior by getting close to him when I knew his feelings, but "dangling the carrot" in way.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • He sounds immature. Try stay friends but if he does it again you might want ease him out your life.

  • I think it was very good and mature for you to tell him that you are interested but want to move slowly and not lead him on.

    I think you should try to be friends with him, unless he gets even crazier and makes it impossible to stay friends.

    The other option is to move forward, but still slowly. So you don't have to jump right into a relationship, but perhaps go on a date if that's what he wants.