I think my guy friend might like me? (I have a boyfriend?)?

I've been friends with this guy for four years. We initially met through him dating one of my kind of friends. We hit it off right away and have been close since. At first everyone said we should be together and I secretly wanted to be for a while. Years passed and I got over it but we both discovered we had feelings for each other in the past. Neither him or I date much, a lot of girls find him attractive but he's just so shy that it never goes anywhere. He's texted me high off meds before and was going on and on about how beautiful I am which was weird but never said he had feelings. I have started dating a really great guy and I felt I was talking too much about myself so I asked my friend if he's got his eye on anyone. He gave me a vague "yes." I proceeded to ask whom and he said "doesn't matter, she has a boyfriend." I got this weird feeling in my stomach and I didn't ask any further questions. When I first told him about my boyfriend my girl friend who was there said he turned bright red when I told him the news.

What should I do? Ignore it or confront him and ask if he really does have feelings for me? And if the answer is yes then should I continue to hangout with him alone?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, you might want to consider downgrading your friendship to friendly acquaintance.

    I wouldn't confront him about it. What exactly would be accomplished by that? Very little, I think.

    Think about this for a moment. If he does like you (and that's probably the case), then do you think that continued contact with him will speed the recovery or prolong it? Of course this isn't always the case, but continued contact tends to just prolong the recovery. If you could help him speed up the recovery, help speed getting over his longing and the rejection, would you? I think if you care about him as a person, the answer is almost certainly yes. Therefore, since prolonged contact tends to prolong the recovery, then wouldn't the compassionate thing to do be to limit your contact? This doesn't mean that you should be curt or nasty or impolite. You can be civil, you can be polite, you can even be friendly, but you need not continue being his friend. This is for his own sake as well as yours.

    I wrote a question about this very topic some time ago. Perhaps you'd like to take a look at it.


    Now, the question remains what have you learned? If you liked him and secretly wanted to be with him, why didn't you say anything? I would ask your friend the same question. I suppose it would have paid off for both of you to be more up front about your feelings for one another.

    Any rate, I hope you find love and happiness with this new guy, and I hope your friend finds love and happiness with someone else. This might require some distance for him to recover, which it's probably wisest to let him have. Perhaps in time, you'll double date and dance at each other's weddings.

  • seems like he had his chance with you and blew it. you have a bf now so its time to move on without him.


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