I really like a guy I met online. Why does he talk to me, is this going anywhere?

I'm in the US and he is in the UK. We Skype (video chat) and have eachother's phone numbers and addresses. Know family and friends names etc. Everything checks out, he's single and all that.

But obviously, I don't know everything from all the way over here.

We talk about meeting either there or somewhere else. He seems more like he wants me to go there but I think it's because he's quite broke. This sort of puts me off. I guess I feel the guy should make the move.

We communicate every single day. By text or photos especially. We Skype whenever we have the time and do for hours.

Sometimes he seems so into me. Has told me he would have asked me out by now if only we lived closer and that I'm the only one he confides in and that I make him feel like he can do anything.

And other times, like lately, I don't hear from him as much, he leaves me hanging, doesn't seem as into me at all and more like total friends and nothing more.

I'm so confused because of the times he is hot with me.

Then he talks about us getting together and it's like, is this real? Or just for this moment and that's all...

I'm becoming less shy to express my feelings but I haven't yet. I want to meet him but I can't help but wonder what this truly is to him. Am I just to pass the time? Does he have feelings?

How should I approach him? I'm worried I'll say the wrong thing. Right now I want to say to him that I feel it's hard to tell how he really feels and that I'm confused. And plan to say that next time he comes on strong.


Most Helpful Girl

  • he's probably genuinely into you and into the relationship, but he very well knows he's too broken to afford a trip to the US and this is making him less 'motivated'. it's quite bad for a guy's ego, actually, that's why he's backing off a bit. he's probably thinking about all the pros and cons of a LDR. yours sounds pretty expensive as well.. if he really likes you, he'll find a way to come and visit you in the UK, don't worry. just get the wallet ready cause you should really go half on the next future trips. and by the way, are you sure it's a LDR you want? or having this online 'invisible friend' helps you feeling less lonely and more confident?


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  • I think maybe you need to take a step back and look at it for what it really is. He may really mean what he says to you in the moment. But the reality is, you've never met in person, and it's very unlikely that you will anytime soon. Your relationship can only be so serious.

    So maybe enjoy it for what it is, and understand that the "cold" times are probably a result of your distance and the limitations on your relationship becoming something tangible.

  • I'm sorry but I don't think anything 'real' can happen without actually meeting someone. You only know what he's told you but you have no idea what his life is actually like. I hope you haven't gotten naked for this guy and are expecting something more from him. Stop wasting so much time in some poor guy you are mostly likely never going to meet.

    Long distance relationships are hard, I know I'm in one. Find someone that is at least in your country.