Would you be comfortable if your S/O was living with an ex?

Cause I'm not. He never told me about this he just said he had a room mate and it was not a problem when we were dating. Now I found out once we were officially together. He said they are really good friends and established he won't get rid of her. I'm debating whether or not to leave. I've met her and she is really nice but I feel insecure around her and they are close. They have a kid together and it just feels like I'm "invading" their family. I tried to talk to him but he just tells me not to even worry about it he doesn't want to be away from his son. His family disapproves of me as well. And I can sense he still loves her but I also want to give us a shot. I've been crushing on him for a year now (we work together) and I finally got to be with him. I knew he had someone then but I never knrw him on a personal base.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that I would be most disappointed that he lied about it. A lie by omission

    but... I think you need to try and be understanding, IF you like him a lot you should really and try to overcome the insecurity you feel. I can understand why you feel this way but if you like him, trust him, and see a future with him, I wouldn't toss that away simply because he lives with his ex.


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  • It sounds like a futile relationship to me. Personally I wouldn't last long in that situation. You would need a ton of patience and trust but even then... everything about this just sounds really frustrating. The fact that they have a kid together makes it even more weird and confusing. Think about how much you care about this guy and how much you're willing to put up with, how long you see the two of you together... it might be easier to just get out now.

    • Whenever she's around I feel so insecure. I should be comfortsble in a relationship and it feels like I have to constantly outbeat her in everything. I care about him a lot and we have a good connection but I'm not sure I can handle it if he ever wants to be with her again.

    • Yeah, this is not a good foundation for a lasting relationship. The connection they share seems to be too strong for you to be comfortably at his side. There are just too many why's and what-if's here, not to mention the fact that this makes you feel like always you need to compete with her for his love and attention. Again, I would not be able to handle such a situation and I would want to move on from it...