Girls: how would you feel if you received this message from a guy that you were into at one point, but things didn't work out with?

There's this girl I liked... things were going into relationship territory, but there was a bunch of miscommunication... anyways, something happened (not sure what) and she stopped replying, and it didn't work out. I was super bummed for two-three days, but got over it. However, things were "weird" between us - it was like she was mad at me, kind of giving me attitude, and general negative tension between us. But, I will see her rarely from this point onwards. I want to send her a message, not because I "want her back", but just because (as you'll read) she was a big inspiration to me and I want her to know that. Anyways:

"Hey, happy birthday! I hope this year brings you everything you want from life. I have a bad habit of being emotionally stubborn at times, so you won’t catch me doing this often… but I also want to say thanks for being an inspiration - you sparked something in me when I met you last semester. Joining the club has been one of the best choices I’ve made in a long time. It opened me up to a community of beautiful people and new perspectives and, if I’m honest, I wouldn’t have joined if I hadn’t met you -> had subsequent talks with my mom -> ended up joining. Anyways, have a good birthday!"


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you really want to send her a message I would suggest simplifying it, something like- "Hey, happy birthday! I know things didn't work out between us, but I just wanted you to know how thankful I am for meeting you. I think you have helped me learn and grow. I want to wish you the best for the future and hope you have a good birthday."
    That might be a little less overwhelming. Also I would want to take into consideration if she is seeing someone now. If she is off the market it might come across different.


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What Girls Said 1

  • How about a simple hi, how are you doing? Let's catchup or lunch this week.
    Don't overwhelm her. Take it a step at a time.


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