Is he just afraid of commitment? Having a hard time reading this?

I met a guy a few weeks ago, we get along great. We do not live in the same city but not very far. From the beginning we both stated we were not looking for a relationship at this time.

We do sleep together, but our "relationship" is much more than physical. We can talk for hours. Usually when we hang out we stay up the entire night talking about both heavy things like social issues but also about random dumb stuff. Also cuddling/going out having fun together.

The sex is amazing and he texts me all the time. I would say it is fairly even with us in terms of initiating contact but more him who does.

But then he said he was worried about our "relationship" because he doesn't want one but feels like we are a couple.

I never put any pressure on him and told him not to worry and I wasn't ready for a real relationship/commitment either. I told him he doesn't need to feel obligated to text me or anything.

But he continues to and always sweet things like xos and duck face selfies (lol)...I'm just confused. Is it maybe he does really want to be with me but is scared?

I do like him a lot but am not really ready for a full on relationship, so I kind of liked that we agreed to just be open and not serious. I figured we could just get to know each other and enjoy it but not feel tied down. I mean, especially because we live about 2 hours away. When we met he specifically told me he did not want a relationship and could not "love anybody" right now.

I just don't want to mess things up or make him vanish. I want him to know that I like him but that there is no pressure. I am not seeing anyone else or anything but I dunno, I'm just super confused because like if he texts me should I not text back as much?

Any insight would help.


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  • It doesn't seem like there's a problem.

    You've both been honest about how you feel and what you want, and it seems to coincide. That's lucky.

    You're both enjoying eachother's company and not committing to anything. Just have fun and don't worry until there is a real reason to!