"Ignore him and he'll go away" as a breakup strategy?

So I've been doing a lot of online dating recently, and I've noticed something. I'll always follow up with a text or a call after the date (next day usually, sometimes a day or two after). And whether we go on one date, two dates, seven dates, whatever - if the girl stops being interested, she just cuts off communication. No "sorry, I'm not interested" or "I had a good time, but I don't think this is going to work out" or even "screw you, creeper. never contact me again!"

Is this acceptable behavior nowadays? Getting rejected is one thing - I think any time a guy puts himself out there, he knows rejection is a possibility. But ignoring just hits me as very disrespectful. I'd rather be told to "fuck off, loser" than just be ignored.

Guys, are you seeing this kind of thing too? Girls, do you do this? Do you think it's somehow nicer to ignore than to just flat-out say no?


Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of the time women who are dating online- especially if you meet them on dating sites, are seeing/talking to multiple guys at one time. If they ignore you, you're not on their radar currently. However, they don't cut ties with you completely because they want the option of picking up where they left off if whatever they're pursuing currently doesn't work out. In other words, you're their stand-by.

    • I can see that, but personally, I still don't think that's right. A guy has put himself out there in order to get to know a girl with whom he might want a committed and mature relationship. He might it a bit more personal when it turns out that after trying to win her over that he's "next in line".

    • And to be clear, I don't read this as you being okay with it. I just wanted to explain how a guy might feel about it :-)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • I would always tell them if I wasn't interested, ignoring someone is incredibly rude especially if they actually liked you as well

  • I would always break up or tell the guy it wasn't working. It's rude to keep people hanging.

  • Sometimes girls do this to play hard to get. you really never know with girls


What Guys Said 2

  • recently... I got ignored by a girl we went out on 3 dates..
    untill I told her I know your sweet girl.. but I'd rather you tell me No I am not interested... rather than code words like Maybe.. and I am confused and not sure.
    I told her it is bad... but not the end of the world :)
    usually.. ignoring is rude tactic girl employ to put guys 'ice' while she pursue other guys
    or sometime the girl is sooo sweet and nice and does not want to hurt your feelings.

    I'd rather girls say fuck off... than actually ignore.. because sometimes girls are shy and I want to make a distinction between the shy and the one that is not interested.

  • You can't really blame girls for not giving you valid reasons to reject us. It's part of the process which leads to many b.s excuses.
    just remember when a woman starts contacting you, it means she's interested at you and letting fun-filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen eventually.
    Finally, it's all about numbers game. No big deal bro. We should stay calm emotionally.

    • Absolutely. The first few times didn't bother me, but I think the point of places like this is to try and get a discussion going.

      And, yeah, I'm moving on to the next one. I just want girls to know that I just think this ignore stuff is disrespectful.

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