I'm really confused about where I am with a girl I'm dating?

So a little background. I broke the cardinal rule of the guy system. Don't date chicks that you meet in a bar or club. So this young lady and I get along stupid good. We are perfect for each other. She stated to me when we got started that she wanted to take things slow. So we have or I have. She has sped up and than slowed down. Finally she hit me after 2 months of dating that she just got out of a 5 year relationship the night I met her. That she thought I was going to be a come and go guy. That I have surprised her. But she is not going to be ready for anything. What the hell should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Whatdoes taking things 'slow' mean literally/
    is it aboyt how muhc you see eachothr,
    the types of things you talk about.


    wht you expect?

    just never sure what it means and people say it as if everyone automatically gets it.

    i dont see how this has to do with meeting her in a bar. everyone gets in and out of relationships. regardless of where they hang out and i dont think there's a guy rule bc bars are full of guys meeting women.

    well, not much you can do. she needs time to re adjust. be patient if you like her, move on if you dont?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Just to flip the script for a second here - if a friend of mine told me a similar story? I'd say forget him. When guys say something like "not ready for a relationship," they mean it. And depending where this girl is in life, or how that 5 year relationship ended, she could very well mean it too.

    So I guess you need to decide A. is it worth sticking it out and seeing if you can change her mind or B. stay friends and hopefully down the line things will get serious or C. walk away. I know I'm not a lot of help, but this sounds like a personal choice no one else can really make for you. Good luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • I would back off and not get too involved or attached or invest too much time or money. She needs the time and space she wants to properly put closure to the other relationship. Who knows how long that will take. The tricky thing is, when she is ready to start dating again, she may be interested in you, or it may be someone else. I would be sooo pissed to wait around for someone to only find out they want to see someone else.