Is it wrong to wait to have sex if you're not comfortable with the guy?

I going to get to the point: there was this guy I was dating and things were going well. We got along, made each other laugh, and had common interests. On the fourth date we had a movie date at his place, I know movies can be code for sex, so yes I brought condoms.

Anyways, we never kissed before, but he kissed me, and we made out. Before this we cuddled/held hands/etc. I wasn't sure if he was interested or not because he waited a while to kiss me. I was nervous because I had less experience than him, so I didn't want to mess up, which is stupid.

Later on he was ready for sex and I wasn't; he wasn't mad or anything, but I feel like I messed up. I think I would have been more comfortable if we would have made out more instead of everything escalating on one day. I just wasn't ready yet, and because of bad experiences in the past, I didn't want to rush things. So a month or so later he wanted to be just friends and his feelings changed. Btw, I'm agnostic and religious reasons were not the reason for my decision.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should not have sex if you are uncomfortable about it, if he forces that he is bad news.

    • Good point. He didn't force me but he said something like "we are alone..." to try to persuade me, I guess.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If you are uncomfortable, don't have sex! It can only do harm. If he doesn't respect your feelings, get rid of the pos and find a real man.


What Girls Said 1

  • No, it is wrong to have sex if your not comfortable with the idea yet. It doesn't mean it won't happen but it shouldn't until you are 100% ready and sure.

    • If he pressures you and makes you feel guilty he isn't worth your time or body

    • Yeah, I agree. It sucks he wants to go back to being friends though, because I thought the outcome would have been different.

    • I know you probably feel a little rejected some how but your self worth is priceless and should not be giving freely. When you find someone who will love and respect you for everything you are and you feel comfortable it will be so much better. There is a good chance that you would have felt degraded and used with this guy. Your intuition is leading you down a different path, you should listen and follow it.