He said not to have expecations from him?


Following my post

I saw him in total 4 times. I really like him :(
He kind of disappeared again over the weekend. On Saturday night I phoned him as it bothered me that he doesn't reply to messages. He said he was at his brother up North and he knows it's not nice and the minimum is to reply. On Sunday night we spoke again - I wanted to meet him to see where I stand and to find out what he wants. We didn't meet but the conversation kind of developed over the phone. I didn't ask him what he wants or anything of that sort.. so not sure how it started. He said that right now he is going through a very very difficult time in his life and also people that know him well know that he is problematic and disappears now. He said he does't have patience for anything. He said not to have any excpecations of him now and that we will meet spontaneously but we can speak over the phone between meetings. That was 2 days ago…haven't heard from him since.
I told my friend that he isn't serious-she was really mad at me for saying that. She said how can I say that about him-that he has a serious job, his own apartment and that he is going through a difficult time in his life now. She said that I have no idea what it's like to do renovations especially renovations that you didn't ask for and that she knows of couples that divorced coz of that.
I am bummed out :(


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  • After reading this and your past link, seems like he had so much happenings Iin his life that stressed him out (from death of cousin to renovation). I think you should give him space and don't overanalyze everything just because he won't contact you for day/s or hours after.. Try to control yourself not contacting him until he will miss you and call you first..
    you are in your early 40's so I assume you have better understanding and mature enough to handle relt'p with busy problematic impatient man..
    Did you ever asked him or yourself why he is still single till now? You really like him, it doesn't mean he should reciprocate it with you.. I can sense that he doesn't prioritize woman or having family because he is prioritizing himself on what he wants specially managing his time.. You can't force or change anything, just understand him, his behavior..

    • Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately for me I like him. If i didn't i wouldn't care. I understand that renovations is a stressful time and read articles about it and people really do get divorce and many people don't think about relationships-their head is filled with the stress of their house. My friend was in hospital and it was probably as a result of the stress she felt during her renovations. I guess I should give him the space and understanding and whatever happens happens. I do hope he will contact me. I did have expectations - I no longer do and hope it's a lesson learned for future relationships. And i should really stop analysing every move a guy that I like makes!! Not good for me.

    • Yes.. You have a point.. Hope everything will go well on you and your man.

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