Can a guy who has had non-monogamous relationships go for a monogamous one?

I'm seeing a man who's been in open relationships before. I told him it is absolutely not my thing and asked him if it was a problem. He answered saying that he was a bit scared that I was asking for a committed relationship so soon (we've been only on a few dates), but I told him that I just wanted things to be clear from the start.
After that we both stayed silent for some days, till he contacted me again and we went on as normal.

Should I assume that he has understood my needs or shoud I worry that he thinks that I'm okay with being non-monogamous?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The fact that you didn't talk for a while means there is still some unresolved issues that still need to be addressed and worked out. Problems don't solve themselves - they have to be talked out and both sides need to come to an agreement that is CLEAR to both people and that both can live with. You haven't done that, so you cannot assume that the issue is resolved.

    Many people will simply ignore red flags like this as long as possible, but that only makes it much worse when you finally have to deal with it, because you'll be much more invested in the relationship by then. Better to find out, once and for all, if he's FULLY okay with this or not, and if not, then you need to go your separate ways if you can't work out a compromise that you can both live with.

    Don't put it off, or it will only get worse. And if he can't give you a straight answer, then the answer is "NO", and you need to proceed accordingly.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It could go either way. Honestly, still talk to him and hang out and if you really have a problem, just don't hook up with him. If he only asks you over to his place and stuff, you'll get an idea of his intentions.

  • It simply means that he understand you now


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